The Best 35 Stalk Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Stalk jokes. There are some stalk crops jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stalk mellencamp puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Stalk Jokes and Puns

An even cornier joke

One stalk of corn said to the other stalk of corn, "Hey, can I tell you something?"

The other stalk of corn said, "I'm all ears."

What is a stalkers favorite part of a hospital?

the I see you.

A man goes to the doctor with a carrot up his nose.

He has a stalk of celery in the other nostril and peas in his ears. He says to the doctor, "Doc, I'm not feeling well." The doctor says, "Well, you're not eating right."

Stalk joke, A man goes to the doctor with a carrot up his nose.

Jack and the beanstalk

Does everybody know the guy in Jack and The Beanstalk who trades the magic beans for Jacks cow?

Cause I guess you could call him a Stalk Broker

A place where stalkers meet and share their stalking stories..

The Stalk Exchange.

Woman goes to a psychiatrist convinced her house is made of celery.

Psychiatrist tells her he's seen this sort of thing before ... it's called stalk home syndrome.

"What do you do in your free time? " "I stalk. "

"Really? I go swimming and for long hikes"

"I know.".

Stalk joke, "What do you do in your free time? " "I stalk. "

When the person you stalk stalks back it is called....

Stalk Exchange.

Someone told me that the best pokemon was the bird that holds a leek stalk

I said 'That's a little farfetch'd'

I was talking to my friend over the weekend, when he brought up the subject of hobbies....

He asked, "What do you do in your free time".

To which I responded, "I stalk people".

"Oh", he exclaimed, "Really? I enjoy walks in the park or going to movies with friends".

"I know"

where is a stalker always trying to get to?

the pee pole.

You can explore stalk sphinx reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stalk plantains dad jokes. There are also stalk puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I was stalked for hours by a creepy dude who kept following me everywhere and drawing pictures of me

He was really sketching me out.


Did you hear about the CEO of a big company who was arrested for voyeurism? The company's stalk went down afterwards.

What's a stalker and a Pokemon nerd got in common?

They both hide in the bushes trying to get a Pikachu.

How does a stalker go on a diet?

Weight Watchers.

If a stalk brings good babies. A crow brings bad babies. What bird brings no babies?

A swallow

Stalk joke, If a stalk brings good babies. A crow brings bad babies. What bird brings no babies?

What's a stalkers favourite pokemon?


Stalking is when two people are going for a romantic walk together

but only one of them knows about it

My stalker ex-girlfriend just threatened to kill herself if I didn't take her back.

Isn't it great when problems solve themselves?

My stalker just threatened to kill herself if I didn't love her back.

It's nice when problems resolve themselves like that.

Where did the stalker go when he took multiple gunshot wounds to the abdomen?



I've recently got a stalker. He's everywhere all the time. And his thing is that he sends other people to profess his love for me. So I can be walking down the street and all of a sudden a lady will appear screaming: "JESUS LOVES YOU."

My neighbor's been stalking me

I think my neighbor is stalking me. She searched up my name last night, I saw through her bedroom window. Thank god I have this telescope.

Why is 7 a stalker to 6?

Because it comes after 6.

What do you call an ex on house arrest?

Out of Stalk

Snuck up on a corn stalk

Pretty easy when they have no ears

What's are stalkers favorite song?

Can't Take My Eyes Off of You

Cotton the middle of life and death

A stalk of wheat goes in to have a sex-change operation. After hours and hours in the operating room, one of the surgeons has a slip up with the sickle they are using. Nearly bleeding out, the wheat is stitched up in the nick of time.

A few weeks later, the wheat is recounting the story to its partner, who is a stalk of cotton. They tell them the operation was worth it, and they are lucky to be a sir fiber.

So what are you in to ?

\- I stalk people.

\- Oh really ? Well, I like nature and running.

\- I know.

Being stuck inside for a long time due to Covid, my wife started having recurring nightmares about how our house is made of celery.

Doctors think it is stalk home syndrome.

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul.

Even if it's cold. Over ice. With a celery stalk. And vodka

I used to be a stalker

I'm not proud of it, but nowadays people are asking me for tips and tricks on stalking. So here it is:
In order to be a stalker, you need to do the following…

My stalker just threatened to kill herself, if I didn't love her back.

It's really nice when problems resolves themselves like that.

You can really tell how much of a stalker someone is...

Just by watching them.

Why can't a farmer keep secrets on her farm?

Because the corn has ears, the potatoes have eyes and the beans stalk.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stalk soy jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working stalk celery piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes