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Stalin Ordered Jokes

4 stalin ordered jokes and hilarious stalin ordered puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stalin ordered that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Playful Stalin Ordered Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group

What is a good stalin ordered joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Stalin and Roosevelt were arguing over whose bodyguards were more loyal...

...and ordered them to jump out of the window on the fifteenth floor. Roosevelt's bodyguard flatly refused to jump, saying "I'm thinking about the future of my family." Stalin's bodyguard, however, jumped out of the window and fell to his death. Roosevelt was taken aback.
"Tell me, why did your man do that?" he asked.
Stalin lit his pipe and replied:
"He was thinking about the future of his family, too."

Stalin's assistant enters his office

"Sir! There is a man here who wants to see you. He claims to be able to see the future with perfect accuracy!"

Stalin takes a puff from his pipe, and gives his order. "Execute him."

The assistant obeys and the man is promptly executed.

Later, with a lot of hesitation, the assistant asks. "Sir, why did you order this man's execution?"

Stalin looks at him calmly, and responds. "If he could really see the future, he would've seen this coming, and I can't stand charlatans."

Roosevelt, Churchill, and Stalin, meet on a skyscraper

Roosevelt, Churchill, and Stalin want to prove that their generals have a larger sense of duty and tenacity compared to the other nations' soldiers. So they all meet on top of a skyscraper.
Roosevelt goes first, and orders his finest general to jump off the ledge, stating that it was for God and country. The general, states " Sir, you are the greatest president this country has seen, but I cannot jump over the ledge, I have a family to think of!"
Churchill goes second, and orders his finest general to jump off the ledge, stating that it was for God and country. The general, states " Sir, you are the greatest prime minister and have bravely led us through hell and back, but I cannot jump over the ledge, I have a family to think of!"
Stalin goes last, and orders his finest general to jump off the ledge, stating that it was for the greater good of the Soviet state. The general immediately jumps off the ledge, and is caught by a net a few stories down, where he is met by the three leaders.
Roosevelt and Churchill ask the Soviet general, "Why'd you jump?" The soldier grimly replies: "I have a family to think of."

Stalin is giving a speech ...

All of a sudden, someone sneezes. He stops talking.
"Who sneezed ?"
Silence. Everyone is looking at their feet.
"Who sneezed ? If you don't answer, I'll gun down the front row."
Nobody speaks. He gives an order, and the entire front row is executed.
"Who sneezed ?"
Silence. The second row is being executed. The third row is being gunned down. The fourth row is being executed. A very old man steps up, he raises a hand.
"I sneezed."
Stalin looks at him.
"Bless you. So, as I was saying..."


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about stalin ordered can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of stalin ordered puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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