The Best 29 Stale Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Stale jokes. There are some stale moldy jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stale preservatives puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Stale Jokes and Puns

I bought a chessboard cake from the bakers last week.

Took one bite, looked up, and said "it's stale mate".

He seemed surprised, said "no, mate".

So I handed him the cake and said "check mate".

What's the difference between 9gag and a Russian sauna?

One is full of male steam, the other is full of stale memes.

Indian Restaurant

I went to an Indian restaurant. The waiter brought out a basket of stale flatbread before realizing his mistake and bringing a fresh one. I would have complained, but it was a naan-issue.

I have a joke about stale bread

Unfortunately it's kinda crumby

As a slice of stale bread, I used to hate mold.

But it's growing on me.

I was trying to eat a stale baguette

Safe to say, it was a pain

What's the difference between Taylor Swift and a stale Pepsi?

The stale Pepsi won't write a song about me after I dump it.

Stale joke, What's the difference between Taylor Swift and a stale Pepsi?

Gandhi's diagnosis

Now Gandhi hardly ate a thing, his frame was rather frail
But then he'd eat the strangest foods, his breath was often stale
And he walked around barefoot, so this was his diagnosis:

Super calloused fragile mystic hexxed by halitosis.

Did you hear about the stoner who had a stash that never went stale or moldy? He used to spend hours stoned just staring at it...

I guess it's true what they say, a watched pot never spoils.

Favourite football/soccer teams

What's an arthroplasty surgeon's favourite football team? Ipswich Town

What's a jockey's favourite football team? Derby

What's a detective's favourite football team? Leads United

What's a fossil's favourite football team? S'underland

What's a stale meat's favourite football team? Oldham

What's a fit, balding person's favourite football team? Wigan Athletic

What's a pirate's favourite football team? Loot-on (Luton) Town

Two Australians are fighting over the last loaf of bread at the supermarket

They're both holding on to the loaf when one of them says:

It's stale mate.

You can explore stale reek reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stale musty dad jokes. There are also stale puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

An Australian ate a few old chess pieces. When asked how they were, he said

"It was stale, mate."

Why shouldn't you eat a chess sandwich?

It's stale, mate.

Hey did you hear about this new Netflix series? About a one-armed chef who creates food that tastes like it's already old and outdated. I think it's called

"The Hand Made Stale"

Why couldn't the Australian general win the war on bread?

Because it was stale, mate.

Why didn't the pirate chessplayer enjoy his crackers?

Because they were stale, matey!

Stale joke, Why didn't the pirate chessplayer enjoy his crackers?

You know what the biggest problem with Australian Chess jokes is?

They're getting stale, mate.

There's a new social media app created by the bakers' union called breadit .

You can buy a loaf on it but only if it's stale and has been posted by 6 bakers in the last week.

Our sex life was getting kinda stale, so my wife said we should try polygamy.

Apparently all the paper cranes I made for her weren't enough.

What is it called when a King and Queen have no children?

A stale mating.

Marriage is like a sale at a store...

When everything gets stale, everything's 50% off

What kind of water wouldn't and australian suggest you drink before a fight?

Stale mate

A bread pun

Sorry, it's gone stale

Stale Joke

I dream I was climbing a tree.....

But it was really a two..... :|

I was playing chess with my friend, who is a cartoon anthropomorphised loaf of bread.

The game lasted so long I ended up with a stale mate.

I saw a stalemate between two bits of grass in CancΓΊn.

Stale joke, I saw a stalemate between two bits of grass in CancΓΊn.

My wife stopped smoking a year ago...

The sex has gotten pretty stale.

On one hand, this sub has gotten a little stale. On the other hand...

... you have different fingers.

Russian Yeltsin Joke

Here's one of those great old stale Russian jokes. Quick context; Yeltsin presided over the gutting and corruption of a lot of Russian government companies.

A man drives up to the Kremlin and parks his car outside. As he is getting out a policemen hurriedly flusters over and says "You can't park there! That's right under Yeltsin's window!"

The man looks perplexed for a second but then smiles and calmly replies:

"No need to worry officer, I made sure to lock the car"

I got it from a good book called Oilopoly, about Russia's oil and such things.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stale carbohydrates jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working stale baguette piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes