Stairs Jokes
172 stairs jokes and hilarious stairs puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stairs that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for a fun way to brighten up a long walk up the stairs? Check out this hilarious collection of jokes and puns all about climbing stairs, walking up the hallway, and making your way up an upstairs walkway.
Quick Jump To
- Short Stairs Jokes
- Stairs One Liners
- Falling Down Stairs Jokes
- Fell Stairs Jokes
- Falling Stairs Jokes
- Climbing Stairs Jokes
- More Stairs Jokes
Funniest Stairs Short Jokes
Short stairs jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stairs humour may include short tower jokes also.
- Step by step guide on how to fall down stairs Step 1:
Step 2:
Step 4:
Step 7:
Step 12:
Step 18:
Step 25:
Hospital - How many police officers does it take to push a black man down the stairs? None. "He fell".
- How to fall down the stairs Step 1.
Step 2.
Step 3.
Step 6.
Step 11.
Step 16.
Floor. - I asked a librarian if there are any books on discrimination against people in wheelchairs. She replied "Yes, it's up the stairs, on the top shelf to the left."
- Some people are like slinkies Not really good for much, but bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs
- saw my wife lying at the bottom of the stairs I thought to myself, She was right, I am pushy"
- What do you call a snobbish criminal falling down the stairs? A condescending con descending.
- So I was showing my friends the first floor of my house When one of them said "What's upstairs?"
I told him that the stairs don't talk. - Instructions for falling down stairs... Step 1
Step 2
Step 4
Step 8 - some people are like slinkys They really aren't good for anything but it feels great when you push them down the stairs.
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Stairs One Liners
Which stairs one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stairs? I can suggest the ones about pipes and yards.
- How to Fall Down the Stairs Step 1
Step 2
Step 5
Step 9
Step 12
Floor - Instructions how to fall down stairs: Step 1
Step 2
Step 4
Step 14 - My physics teacher said i have potential and then pushed me down the stairs
- How to fall down stairs * Step 1
* Step 2
* Step 4
* Step 15 - What happened when the escalator broke down? Everyone stopped and staired! 🥁
- How to fall down stairs Step 1
Step 6
Step 8, 9, 11, 12 - How many cops does it take to throw a black guy down the stairs? None. He fell.
- I threw a Chinese man down the stairs... It was wong on so many levels.
- I threw an Asian man down a flight of stairs. It was Wong on so many levels
- I don't trust stairs... They look like they're up to something.
- What do you call a wizard who fell down the stairs? Tumbledore
- How many cops does it take to push a minority down the stairs? None, "He fell"
- I wrote a book on how to fall down the stairs. It's a step by step guide.
- I came across a broken escalator the other day All I could do was stair.
- What do you call a scam artist who is walking down the stairs? Condescending
Falling Down Stairs Jokes
Here is a list of funny falling down stairs jokes and even better falling down stairs puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Instructions for falling down the stairs: Step 1, step 6, step 7, step 8, step 12.
- How to fall down the stairs. Step 1.
Step 2.
Step 3.
Step 7.
Step 11.
Step 17. - How to fall down the stairs Step 1
Step 2
Step 4,6,9,13,18,24 - I'm worried I will fall down the stairs one day... I'd take steps to avoid it, but that's sort of the problem.
- Step by step guide to falling down the stairs: Step 1:
Step 4:
Step 8:
Step 11:
Step 17:
Hospital - How to Fall Down the Stairs Step 1
Step 3
Step 7, 9, 11, 13 - Tutorial on how to fall down the stairs: Step 1
Step 2
Step 3
Step 6
Step 11 - Toturial on how to fall down the stairs: Step 1, step 2, step 5, step 14, step 28.
- a guide to falling down the stairs Step 1
Step 3
Step 6
Step 10
Step 15
Step 21
Step 25
Floor - A 5 step guide to falling down stairs Step 1
Step 2
Step 5
Step 11
Floor
Fell Stairs Jokes
Here is a list of funny fell stairs jokes and even better fell stairs puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- how many corrections officers does it take to throw an inmate down the stairs? none he fell
- A couple of geese fell down from the stairs. They got multiple goose bumps.
- How many prison guards does it take to throw an inmate down a flight of stairs? None, he fell.
- Did you hear about M.C. Escher? Poor guy tripped and fell up the stairs
- How many prison guards does it take to push an inmate down the stairs? None, he fell.
- So I just fell down the stairs holding a guitar... and accidentally wrote a One Direction song.
- How many cops does it take to beat up a light bulb? None. That light bulb fell down the stairs.
- How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs? None, reports say he fell
- So 3, 4, and 5 fell down a flight of stairs... Now they're a Pythagorean cripple.
- My Irish grandfather once fell down two flights of stairs with a pint of whiskey and didn't spill a drop. The man knew how to keep his mouth shut.
Falling Stairs Jokes
Here is a list of funny falling stairs jokes and even better falling stairs puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Steps on how to fall down stairs. Step one:
Step three:
Step seven:
Step nine:
Step thirteen:
Step twenty:
Floor: - Dying by falling from stairs is just like regular death But with extra steps
- Steps on how to fall down the stairs (Not my joke) Step 1:
Step 2:
Step 3:
Step 5:
Step 8:
Step 13: - Guide: How to fall down the stairs Step 1
Step 2
Step 6, 7, 8, 11 - My guide on how to fall down a flight of stairs.. .. In just a few simple steps
- How to fall down stairs: Step 1
Step 5
Step 8, 9, 10 - How to fall down stairs: Step 1.
Step 2.
Step 3.
Step 5.
Step 8.
Step 11.
Step 17.
Floor. - How to die from falling down stairs: Step 1
Step 2
Step 4
Step 9
Step 22
Step 23 - How to fall down the stairs Step One:
Step Six:
Step Seven:
Step Ten:
Step Fifteen: - How to fall off the stairs Step 1
Step 2
Step 3, step 4, step 5, step 6, step 7, step 8...
Climbing Stairs Jokes
Here is a list of funny climbing stairs jokes and even better climbing stairs puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If laziness was an Olympic sport I would've placed 4th so I wouldn't have to climb the winners' stairs
- How do you teach a kid to climb stairs? There is a step by step guide
- Want to learn how to climb a flight of stairs? Just follow these ten simple steps!
- They say climbing stairs is like losing a child. It never get's easier.
- What do you call when a ladder is replaced with stairs? Climb-it change.
- Chuck Norris built the never ending stairs.
Then he climbed it up. - How does a giant climb a mountain when he's in a contemplative mood? thousand-yard stairs
- How to climb stairs in two simple steps. Step 1
Step 2: Repeat step 1 - How to climb stairs Step 1
Step 2
Step 3
Step 4
Step 5
Step 6
Step 7
Step 8
Step 9
Step 10 - How to climb a flight of stairs? Step one
Step two
Step three
Fun-Filled Stairs Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about stairs you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean floor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stairs pranks.
There once was a baby born with no arms. His parents put him on the church's stairs and vanished.
The local priest took him in and raised him, eventually giving him the job of ringing the bell for evening mass. So, each day, the child lined up from across the room and ran as fast as he could to hit the bell with his head.
One day, the priest ate a banana and left the peel lying by the bell. As the child was running running running, he slipped on the banana peel and fell out the window to his death. When the cops came to investigate, the asked the priest for the child's name.
The priest said I don't know his name, but his face rings a bell.
People are like slinkys...
... they're no fun to look at but when you push em down the stairs you cant help but smile.
Miniskirt
A small crowd gathers at a bus stop. A b**... blonde in a tight top and even tighter miniskirt shows up same time as the bus. Being a gentleman, a man lets her onto the bus first.
She goes to take her first step up the bus stairs, her legs are unable to take the step. The miniskirt was far too tight. Smiling apologetically to everyone, she reaches back to unzips the zipper a little. She attempts to step up the stairs, again, the skirt is still too tight. She reaches around her back, unzips the zipper a little. Smiling once more, she attempts to step up. Sigh, the skirt is still too tight, she reaches behind her a third time.
Two large hands grab her by the waist, lifting her up and placing her at the top of the steps. "Get your hands off me! How dare you touch me," she squealed.
"Ma'am, as much as I don't mind," the gentleman paused,"you were pulling down my zipper".
I went to my girlfriend's house last night for a romantic night in...
It was amazing, we had a three course meal with champagne over candle light, we then snuggled up on the sofa, to watch a movie, then, when we went up stairs, I let her get changed, while I spread rose petals over the bed, then, we had the most amazing, mind blowing s**... that I've ever had, but just as I was about to finish, her parents walked in...
I am now banned from babysitting.
2 "black" questions that aren't racist.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
What's black and screaming? stevie wonder answering the iron.
My wife shouted upstairs, "the sun's just come out."
My wife shouted upstairs, "the sun's just come out." I thought great, threw on some shorts and flip flops and shot down the stairs. I was rather shocked when I got down to find our lad holding hands with his mate Michael.
After almost a year in a coma my wife is having to learn the basics again.
How to walk, how to talk, how to feed herself and how to not argue with me at the top of the stairs again.
Tim is out drinking one night...
He wants to go home but is extremely drunk so he decides to walk. After two steps he falls down. He stands up, walks another two steps and falls down again. This continues all the way home where he climbs up the stairs in agony but doesn't utter a single groan since he doesn't want his wife to notice and gets into bed next to her, makes sure he didn't wake her up and sleeps.
The next day, his wife tells him: "Tim, you m**...! Didn't I tell you not to go out drinking??? You're a dead loss!" - "But how did you know?" - "You forgot your wheelchair at the bar, that's why!"
An old man was lying on his deathbed.
An old man was lying on his deathbed. His wife of forty years was holding his hand.
He looked at her and said Margaret, It seems like you have always been with me when I was in need. Remember that time I fell down the stairs? You stayed with me. And when I lost my job? You were right there. Now that I am dying, you are here. You know what, Margaret?
What, John?
I think you're a jinx.
A lady almost 9 months pregnant falls down some stairs and knocks herself out...
When she wakes up, she is in a hospital bed.
Doctor: "We had to deliver your fraternal twins while you slept, but they are completely healthy. Also, your brother stopped by and named them for you"
New Mother: "My brother named them? But he's an idiot! What are their names?"
Doctor: "Well, the little girl is named Denise."
New Mother: "Well, that's not so bad. What about my son?"
Doctor: "Denephew."
What do you call a smug criminal going down stairs?
A Condescending Con Descending.
Some people are like Slinkies...
Some people are like Slinkies.
Not really good for anything, but they can still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
What do you call it when Condoleezza rice pushes a stuck-up criminal down a flight of stairs?
Conde sending condescending con descending.
What do you call a s**... criminal walking down a flight of stairs?
A condescending con descending
I bought a book on how to build stairs
Its a step by step guide
BIG fight
Me and the wife had a big fight,she told me to leave the house. To spite her I went upstairs and packed my bags. As I was walking down the stairs, a suitcase in each hand, I see she's waiting for me at the foot of the stairs. When we're at eye level, she says to me. 'I hope you die a slow and painful death.' Looking into her eyes, I reply, "So, now you want me to stay?'
What did the French man say when he tripped down the stairs?
Eiffel.
Did you hear the one about the tiny prisoner who went down the stairs?
It's a little condescending. ;)
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire
How do you keep a blonde busy for years?
Tell her to count the stairs on an escalator.
75 story hotel
Phil, Jim, and John were at a convention together sharing a large suite at the top of a . After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear the elevators were broken, and they now had to climb 75 flights of stairs.
Phil said to Jim and John,"let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something more interesting. Hmm, I'll tell jokes the first 25 floors, Jim, you can sing songs the next 25 floors and John you can say your collection of sad stories."
The others agreed and they started the climb for their hotel room. At the 26th floor Phil stopped with his jokes and Jim started his songs. At the 51st floor songs stopped and John's sad stories started.
"I guess I'll begin with my saddest story first. I forgot the room key in the car."
(EDIT) FIXED THE GRAMMAR d**...
Some people are like Slinkies . . .
not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
What do you call a snobbish prisoner going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
A woman was 9 months pregnant...
...and she didn't wanna go to the hospital no matter what. One day she is walking up the stairs inside her home when her water breaks, she then lays down Right there and gives birth with the assistance of her husband. Once the baby is born the mother is holding her baby and says to her husband "I don't think this is yours..." He looks at her confused and asks "what do you mean?", she looks him in the eyes and says "because it's a step-child"
A man is sobbing into his beer...
It being a slow night, the bartender asks him what's wrong and offers him some sympathy.
The man responds "My roommate says I should quit drinking, last night I came home and I blew chunks all over the living room."
"Harsh," the bartender replies, "But that's hardly a reason to quit drinking."
"No man, I blew chunks in the kitchen, I blew chunks on the stairs, I blew chunks in the bathroom, I blew chunks EVERYWHERE."
"I'd hate to agree with your roommate, seeing as how that means less business for me, but maybe he's got a point. That's an awful lot of v**... to have to mop up..."
"No, no, you don't understand," The man sobbed, "Chunks is my Dog."
Little Johnny is walking down the street and sees a construction site building new houses
He has a look at what's going on and he's amazed and in awe of it all. He rushes home as fast as he can. He runs in and shouts ''Dad, dad, can we play builders?'' His dad says ''Sure Johnny''
Johnny runs to the top of the stairs and shouts ''Oi, get them bricks up here now you c**...''
I know a hypnotist who could control the whole audience.
He'd enter the room, say 'sleep' and everyone would fall asleep.
He'd say ''laugh'', the audience would burst out laughing.
One day, he entered the room where he would make his show as usual, but tripped in the stairs; and yelled '**...''!
The room took three hours to clean.
What's black and sits at the top of stairs?
A paraplegic after a house fire.
Throwing Watches
Three tourists climbed up the tower with London's Big Ben and decided to throw their watches off the top, run down the stairs and try to catch them before they hit the ground.
The first tourist threw his watch but heard it c**... before the had taken three steps. The second threw his watch and made only two steps before hearing his watch shatter.
The third tourist threw his watch off the tower, went down the stairs, bought a snack at a shop up the street and walked slowly back to Big Ben in time to catch the watch.
"How did you do that?" asked one of his friends.
"My watch is 30 minutes slow."
Slip of the Tongue
Joe has a broken leg. Mike comes over and asks, "How you doing', Joe?"
Joe says, "Do me a favor: Run upstairs and get my slippers."
Mike goes upstairs and sees Joe's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters. He says, "your dad sent me up here to have s**... with both of you."
One girl replies, "Get out of here. Prove it?"
Mike shouts down stairs -, "Hey, Joe, both of 'em?"
Joe shouts back, "of course, both of 'em!" What's the point of f**...' one?"
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all on their way to heaven
One day, a blonde, brunette, and a redhead were on their way to heaven.
God told them that there were 1,000 stairs to reach heaven, and on every stair he would tell them a joke. If they laughed, or even just smiled, they would not make it into heaven.
The redhead managed to make it to the 45th step before laughing.
The brunette reached 200 and cracked a smile.
The blonde made it all the way to the 999th step and burst out in laughter before God had even told his joke.
"Why are you laughing when I haven't even told my joke yet?" God asked the Blonde.
"I just got the first one!" she answered.
What do you call an arrogant patronizing thief coming down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
I was sitting in church when a guy walked in and said hi to me.
He then walked up into the tower of the church and hit his face against the large bell a few times.
#b**... b**... b**...
He then walked back down the stairs and said "See you later mate" and walked out. As he left a few fellow church goers said to me, "Do you know that guy?"
I replied, "I don't think so, but his face rings a bell"
I made a joke about a midget criminal running down the stairs. The punchline is a little condescending.
Ba dum *tss*
Three sisters, ages 92, 94, and 96, live in a house together
One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts one foot in a pauses.
She yells down the stairs, Was I getting in or out of the bath?
The 94-year-old yells back, I don't know.
I'll come up and see. She starts up the stairs and pauses.
Then she yells out, Was I going up the stairs or down?
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea and listening to her sisters.
She shakes her head and says, I sure hope I never get that forgetful.
She knocks on wood for good measure.
She then replies, I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.
How are children like slinkies?
It's fun to toss them down stairs.
Never trust stairs,
They're always up to something.
A boy and his father are in an argument
Father: "I've had enough of this! Go to your room and don't come back out until you've thought long and hard about what you've done"
Son: "Fine, I didn't want to be here anyways"
Son: *Stomps up stairs*
Son: *Walks into his room, gently closes the door*
Son: "Jim Morrison s**...!"
Father: "What did I tell you about slamming The Doors!?"
How do ghosts make friends?
By buttering a flight of stairs.
A group of friends all live on the 200th floor of a building
One day they all come back from a trip and find out that the elevator to their floor has shut down and is under repair, so they're forced to take the long walk up the stairs.
To make the walk up a little more exciting, they decide to each tell a sad, terrifying, or depressing story every 20 floors. When they finally get to the top, the tenth friend gets to tell his story.
"I think I left the keys in the car."
Some people are like slinkies
They don't really have a purpose but it still brings a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs
I've just bought my wife a slinky outfit
I can't wait to see her going down the stairs.
Don't feel bad about pressing the close door button when you see someone running for the elevator.
If they have that much energy, they should take the stairs.
Coffee filled to the brim
Boss : Muthu, how do you get it right? For 30 years you have been bringing me coffee filled to the brim every morning without spilling it?
Muthu: Before I climb up the stairs I take a big sip. As I get upstairs, I put it back.
My wife shouted at me to go out and find her some tampons, quick!
So, I sprinted to the car, paced down the street, rushed into the store, frantically looking down each aisle until I finally got to the tampons, hurried back to my car and raced home as fast as I could! I burst in through the front door, ran up the stairs, slammed open the bathroom door and shouted, "Walmart, halfway down aisle 10, bottom shelf!"
A paralyzed man says to his friend, Go upstairs and get my shoes. My feet are cold
The friend goes upstairs and sees the paralyzed man's two s**... 17 year old daughters.
He says, Your father sent me up here to have s**... with you.
One of the girls replies, That couldn't possibly be true!
The man says I'll prove it and then yells towards the stairs, Both of them?
The paralyzed man yells back Of course both of them!
A man walks up some stairs and into a pub.
There isn't a joke here... I just wanted to see how high I could set the bar.
A dad is sitting on the couch in his living room
He hears his son start walking down the stairs and then loud b**... and rumbling
Dad: Son what happened?
Son: it's nothing i just dropped my shirt down the stairs
Dad: it sounded a lot heavier than a shirt
Son: yeah it's because i was wearing it
A dying man smells his favorite oatmeal raisin cookies cooking downstairs.
It takes all the strength he has left but he gets up from the bed and crawls down the stairs.
He sees the cookies cooling on the counter and staggers over to them. As he reaches for one, his wife's wrinkled hand reaches out, smacks his and she yells:
No, you can't have those! They're for the f**...!
Here's a step-by-step guide on how to fall down the stairs.
Step 20
Step 19
Step 18
Step 17
Step 16
Step 15
Step 14
Step 13
Step 12
Step 11
Step 10
Step 9
Step 8
Step 7
Step 6
Step 5
Step 4
Step 3
Step 2
Step 1
Finished
I can confidently run up 6 flights of stairs.
But 7 Flights? That's another story.
Why I don't trust stairs?
Because they are always up to something.
A boy knocks his father down the stairs in a freak accident.
The father breaks his neck and dies, leaving his son to mourn for days. However, one night, the boy wakes up to see an apparition of his father before him. All at once, he breaks down crying, and screams out, "I'm sorry!"
His father responds, "Hi Sorry, I'm dead!"
A blonde, brunette, and a red-head go to heaven
They meet St. Peter at a staircase with 100 stairs
St. Peter says, "To get to the gates, you need to climb the stairs, but on each stair is a joke or a riddle. If you laugh, you have to start over."
The red-head goes first. She gets to the first step and laughs.
The brunette goes next. She gets to the thirty second step, then laughs.
The blonde goes last. She got to the final step, and laughed.
St. Peter asks, "You were so close. Why did you laugh?"
The blonde replies, "I finally got the joke from the first step."
