Ancient grease
...are riding in an elevator from the 14th floor to the lobby. The redhead notices a spot on the elevator wall and says, "That looks like a cum stain."
The brunette leans over and smells the stain. "Smells like a cum stain," she says.
The blonde leans over and tastes the spot, then says, "Well, it's nobody from this building!"
"Do you think you'll be able to get the stain out?" she asks.
"Come again?" the man at the counter responds.
"No, mustard," Monica replies
A hot blond walks into a Dry cleaners. She tells the teller "I need to get a stain removed from my sweater. The teller being a little hard of hearing asks "Come again?" To which she replied " No, its mustard."
...in their apartment building. The brunette notices a stain on the wall, and comments, "That looks like dried cum!"
The redhead leans over and sniffs it. "Yep, it smells like dried cum, too."
The blonde leans in, licks the stain, and exclaims, "Well, it's not from anybody in this building!"
Lady: "I was wondering if you could get this stain out of my blouse"
The Clerk: "Come again?"
Lady: "No, this time it's just yogurt"
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into an elevator together at work. The redhead notices a new stain on the wall of the elevator.
The redhead proceeds to smell the stain and says, "I think it's cum?"
The brunette then smells the same stain and says, "Oh yea, it's definitely cum."
The blonde smells the stain, looks perplexed for a moment, then declares that, "Yes it's cum, but it isn't from any of the men from this building."
Clerk: Hello ma'am, what can we do for you?
Woman: I would like to drop off my coat.
Clerk: Ok, what would you like us to do with it?
Woman: I would like you to get the stain out of the collar area.
Clerk: Come again?
Woman: No, it's mustard this time.
When suddenly the lookout shouts, "Enemy ship heading our way!" The captain, as soon as he hears this, tells his first mate to go grab his red coat.
After they defeated the enemy, his first mate asks what the red coat was for. The captain responds, "Whenever I go into battle with my crew, I don't want them to lose morale by seeing my blood stain me, so I wear this coat to hide my wounds from them."
The next day the lookout warns them, "There's a fleet of five enemy ships heading our way!"
Upon hearing this, the captain tells his first mate to grab his brown pants.
One day during inspection he had a ketchup stain on his shirt. This had the natural punishment of kitchen duty.
That night he reported and there was a big, fat, sweaty man in a wife beater making hamburger patties for dinner the next night. He'd pick up a handful of beef, put it into his armpit and flatten it into a patty.
My uncle was absolutely disgusted as they had hamburgers every Thursday for his 2 year deployment. While he was curled over a trash can trying to control his stomach the chef pipes up:
"If you think that's bad you oughta be here the day we make donuts"
The brunette looks over at one of the walls and notices a stain about waist high. "Ew," she says, "What is that stain?" The redhead walks over to the stain and pokes it a little, then sniffs her finger. "Oh my god I think it's someone's cum." All three women get to giggling and talking about whose it could be, so to settle the topic the blonde walks over, kneels down and licks the cum stain, just a little bit. "Well whoever he is," says the blonde, "he doesn't work in this office."
Baby wipes
Blonde walks into a dry cleaner with her sweater and asks the clerk how much it would cost to get the stain out. The clerk didn't hear her turns to her and says come again? The blonde giggles and says no it's just mustard this time
A pretty young girl goes into a her local dry-cleaners with an evening dress under her arm. She shows the dress to the old man behind the counter and asks
"It's really not too dirty except for this one stain, can you take care of the stain for me, please?"
The old man is hard of hearing and says
"Come again?"
The girl replies
"No, just some mustard."
He asks the laundress to get a stain out of the dress, but she doesn't quite hear him with the machines running.
"Come again?" she says.
"Actually, it's mustard this time."
A Harvey Wine Stain.
Unopened condition. Small stain. As is.
It's Smirnoff.
One with black hair, a brunette and a blonde.
The girl with black hair notices an odd stain on the wall, walks up to it, stares at it for a moment, lifts her glasses to get a closer look and says:
I think this is a cumstain
This catches the brunette's attention so she goes in to check it out. She sniffs it a few times then says:
Yep, that's a cumstain alright!
At this moment the blonde runs over and licks it all off the wall! Turns around and says:
You guys are right, but it's no one from this building!
She hands him her dress which has a huge stain in the front. She pays him and says "I need this dress for a party. So can you please get it cleaned by Thursday?" Now the dry cleaner was very old and couldn't hear properly so he asks her "Come again?"
The blonde blushes furiously and says "No, it is mayonnaise this time"
Now I wish we'd named our son that.
Those were my grandfather's dyeing words.
blonde: "Could you get this stain out for me please"
cashier: "COME AGAIN?"
blonde: "NO ITS MUSTARD THIS TIME"
Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.
Guy says, "Sorry, it's genetic."
He'll probably ask his wife to clean it.
Come Stain!
Piss it off
the office is a mess chairs overturned, clothes strewn about and an empty condom wrapper on the floor. the Brunette pulls up a chair, looks at the seat and says, "OMG, that looks like a cum stain." The Redhead leans over, gives the seat a sniff and says, "OMG, that SMELLS like a cum stain." The blonde reaches down, smears it around and tastes her finger; shaking her head she says, "well.....it's nobody that works here."
That way when I take it to the park, and if it runs off, I can yell "come Stain!"
At the dispensary there is a stain called Aldous Huxley. If you smoke it with your wife she becomes sterile.
#LegalWeedJokes
That was a horrible period
Husband responds How can it be me when I know it was you who farted ?
Wife replies because I can see the stain on your underwear .
Them Benining in the Niger river delta was a bit of a stain on their Marx.
Husband replies " I'm also in shock , i was full naked that time"
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