Stain Jokes

What are some Stain jokes?

What do you call an oil stain that lasted for 1000 years?

Ancient grease

Monica Lewinsky takes a dress to her dry cleaner.

"Do you think you'll be able to get the stain out?" she asks.

"Come again?" the man at the counter responds.

"No, mustard," Monica replies

Dry cleaners.

A hot blond walks into a Dry cleaners. She tells the teller "I need to get a stain removed from my sweater. The teller being a little hard of hearing asks "Come again?" To which she replied " No, its mustard."

A lady goes into the dry cleaners

Lady: "I was wondering if you could get this stain out of my blouse"

The Clerk: "Come again?"

Lady: "No, this time it's just yogurt"

A woman walks into the dry cleaners...

Clerk: Hello ma'am, what can we do for you?

Woman: I would like to drop off my coat.

Clerk: Ok, what would you like us to do with it?

Woman: I would like you to get the stain out of the collar area.

Clerk: Come again?

Woman: No, it's mustard this time.

A pirate ship is sailing across the Atlantic..

When suddenly the lookout shouts, "Enemy ship heading our way!" The captain, as soon as he hears this, tells his first mate to go grab his red coat.

After they defeated the enemy, his first mate asks what the red coat was for. The captain responds, "Whenever I go into battle with my crew, I don't want them to lose morale by seeing my blood stain me, so I wear this coat to hide my wounds from them."

The next day the lookout warns them, "There's a fleet of five enemy ships heading our way!"

Upon hearing this, the captain tells his first mate to grab his brown pants.

My uncle was in the navy, stationed on an aircraft carrier.

One day during inspection he had a ketchup stain on his shirt. This had the natural punishment of kitchen duty.

That night he reported and there was a big, fat, sweaty man in a wife beater making hamburger patties for dinner the next night. He'd pick up a handful of beef, put it into his armpit and flatten it into a patty.

My uncle was absolutely disgusted as they had hamburgers every Thursday for his 2 year deployment. While he was curled over a trash can trying to control his stomach the chef pipes up:

"If you think that's bad you oughta be here the day we make donuts"

Blonde Joke!

Blonde walks into a dry cleaner with her sweater and asks the clerk how much it would cost to get the stain out. The clerk didn't hear her turns to her and says come again? The blonde giggles and says no it's just mustard this time

Bill Clinton takes a dress to the dry cleaners...

He asks the laundress to get a stain out of the dress, but she doesn't quite hear him with the machines running.

"Come again?" she says.

"Actually, it's mustard this time."

I don't think that's a drool stain.

A pretty young girl goes into a her local dry-cleaners with an evening dress under her arm. She shows the dress to the old man behind the counter and asks
"It's really not too dirty except for this one stain, can you take care of the stain for me, please?"
The old man is hard of hearing and says
"Come again?"
The girl replies
"No, just some mustard."

For sale: One parachute.

Unopened condition. Small stain. As is.

A blonde goes to the dry cleaners

She hands him her dress which has a huge stain in the front. She pays him and says "I need this dress for a party. So can you please get it cleaned by Thursday?" Now the dry cleaner was very old and couldn't hear properly so he asks her "Come again?"
The blonde blushes furiously and says "No, it is mayonnaise this time"

[NSFW] Three women are in an elevator.

One with black hair, a brunette and a blonde.

The girl with black hair notices an odd stain on the wall, walks up to it, stares at it for a moment, lifts her glasses to get a closer look and says:

I think this is a cumstain

This catches the brunette's attention so she goes in to check it out. She sniffs it a few times then says:

Yep, that's a cumstain alright!

At this moment the blonde runs over and licks it all off the wall! Turns around and says:

You guys are right, but it's no one from this building!

On this stain remover it said: "Gets rid of all marks."

Now I wish we'd named our son that.

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

"Stain, color, darken, tint..."

Those were my grandfather's dyeing words.

A blonde walks into a very noisy dry cleaners..

blonde: "Could you get this stain out for me please"

cashier: "COME AGAIN?"

blonde: "NO ITS MUSTARD THIS TIME"

Parachute for sale...

...Used once, never opened, small stain.

When is a stain not a stain?

When it taint.

My neighbor left his trash out this morning, and there's a red stain where the can was.

He'll probably ask his wife to clean it.

I have a drip on my shoe from when I was eating a gyro in Europe.

I'm calling it a Greece stain.

Girl walks up to a guy and says "hey, you've got a white stain on your shirt"

Guy says, "Sorry, it's genetic."

How do you call a dog named Stain?

Come Stain!

I want to get a dog just so I can name it Stain

That way when I take it to the park, and if it runs off, I can yell "come Stain!"

How to make Stain jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Stain to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Stain? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Stain pick up lines to share with friends.

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