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Stain Jokes

44 stain jokes and hilarious stain puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stain that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for a few good laugh? Check out this article with some of the best stain jokes. From classic ketchup stains to ink blots and poopy underwear, these jokes will have you in stitches!

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Funniest Stain Short Jokes

Short stain jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stain humour may include short streak jokes also.

  1. My teeth were stained, so the dentist asked me, do you smoke or drink coffee? I told him I drink it.
  2. Monica Lewinsky takes a dress to her dry cleaner. "Do you think you'll be able to get the stain out?" she asks.
    "Come again?" the man at the counter responds.
    "No, mustard," Monica replies
  3. For Sale... Parachute: $300.
    Slightly stained.
    Used once; never opened.
    No strings attached.
  4. A lady goes into the dry cleaners Lady: "I was wondering if you could get this stain out of my blouse"
    The Clerk: "Come again?"
    Lady: "No, this time it's just yogurt"
  5. I was doing the laundry today and I started reading the side of the detergent and it said… Tough on Grime.
    Smashes Dirt.
    Hard on Stains.
    I thought, wow, that last one's a bit too much information…
  6. Motherhood is like a fairytale... ... _*but in reverse*_
    You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.
  7. Abortions are like stains in my carpet. You don't want them to be seen, and you pay somebody to vacuum them out.
  8. Come Again They said as the woman drops off her stained dress at the drycleaners No, it's actually a yogurt stain this time. She replied
  9. God grant me the FOOD to sustain my body, the LAUNDRY DETERGENT to wash the stains from my clothes,
    and the WISDOM to know the difference.
  10. Do you know what my least favorite thing about drinking goats milk is? Getting the grass stains off my back.

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Stain One Liners

Which stain one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stain? I can suggest the ones about smear and pigment.

  1. What do you call an oil stain that lasted for 1000 years? Ancient grease
  2. I saw a 2000 year old oil stain. It was from ancient Greece.
  3. I named my dog Stains You get weird looks when you yell "come Stains!" at the park.
  4. For Sale: Parachute Never opened, slightly stained.
  5. Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a Church window cleaner.
  6. Did you hear about the incontinent woodworker? He specialised in staining chairs
  7. When does a gas become a liquid? When it stains your underwear.
  8. When is a stain not a stain? When it taint.
  9. "Stain, color, darken, tint..." Those were my grandfather's dyeing words.
  10. Why do people throw rice at weddings? Because tomatoes leave stains.
  11. How do you call a dog named Stain? Come Stain!
  12. We decided to name our dog stain That way we can say come stain
  13. What do you call that red stain around a shark's mouth? Residude.
  14. What's is your coffee substitute? Dentist told me I have stains. ;(
  15. What do you call dirty white underwear? Stained glass.

Stain Remover Jokes

Here is a list of funny stain remover jokes and even better stain remover puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • On this stain remover it said: "Gets rid of all marks." Now I wish we'd named our son that.

Poop Stain Jokes

Here is a list of funny poop stain jokes and even better poop stain puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Johnny Depp claims amber heard or her friend pooped on his bed This incident surely left a stain in their relationship...
Stain joke, Johnny Depp claims amber heard or her friend pooped on his bed

Hilarious Fun Stain Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about stain you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stool jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stain pranks.

A woman walks into the dry cleaners...

Clerk: Hello ma'am, what can we do for you?
Woman: I would like to drop off my coat.
Clerk: Ok, what would you like us to do with it?
Woman: I would like you to get the stain out of the collar area.
Clerk: Come again?
Woman: No, it's mustard this time.

I don't think that's a drool stain.

A pretty young girl goes into a her local dry-cleaners with an evening dress under her arm. She shows the dress to the old man behind the counter and asks
"It's really not too dirty except for this one stain, can you take care of the stain for me, please?"
The old man is hard of hearing and says
"Come again?"
The girl replies
"No, just some mustard."

I hired a guy to stain my entry way but he used a very deep brown color that I don't like.

So I fired him and told him to never darken my door again.

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

I have a drip on my shoe from when I was eating a gyro in Europe.

I'm calling it a Greece stain.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

My neighbor left his trash out this morning, and there's a red stain where the can was.

He'll probably ask his wife to clean it.

Girl walks up to a guy and says "hey, you've got a white stain on your shirt"

Guy says, "Sorry, it's genetic."

My stainless steel scissor rusted

How ironic.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Wife in bed says to her husband I know it was you who f**... .

Husband responds How can it be me when I know it was you who f**... ?
Wife replies because I can see the stain on your underwear .

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Wife asks husband: How did you get the stain of lipstick on you shirt?

Husband replies " I'm also in shock , i was full n**... that time"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

w**... strin humor

At the dispensary there is a stain called Aldous Huxley. If you smoke it with your wife she becomes sterile.
#LegalWeedJokes

I want to get a dog just so I can name it Stain

That way when I take it to the park, and if it runs off, I can yell "come Stain!"

My uncle was in the navy, stationed on an aircraft carrier.

One day during inspection he had a ketchup stain on his shirt. This had the natural punishment of kitchen duty.
That night he reported and there was a big, fat, sweaty man in a wife beater making hamburger patties for dinner the next night. He'd pick up a handful of beef, put it into his armpit and flatten it into a patty.
My uncle was absolutely disgusted as they had hamburgers every Thursday for his 2 year deployment. While he was curled over a trash can trying to control his stomach the chef pipes up:
"If you think that's bad you oughta be here the day we make donuts"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I stained my skirt getting my m**... for the first time in Science class

That was a horrible period

A pirate ship is sailing across the Atlantic..

When suddenly the lookout shouts, "Enemy ship heading our way!" The captain, as soon as he hears this, tells his first mate to go grab his red coat.
After they defeated the enemy, his first mate asks what the red coat was for. The captain responds, "Whenever I go into battle with my crew, I don't want them to lose morale by seeing my blood stain me, so I wear this coat to hide my wounds from them."
The next day the lookout warns them, "There's a fleet of five enemy ships heading our way!"
Upon hearing this, the captain tells his first mate to grab his brown pants.

Stain joke, A pirate ship is sailing across the Atlantic..