The Best 32 Staggering Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Staggering jokes. There are some staggering hour jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these staggering breathtaking puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Staggering Jokes and Puns
It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub. It's a 30 minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.
It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub.
It's a thirty five minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.
It's a five minute walk from my house to the bar. It's a 35 minute walk from the bar to my house.
The difference is staggering.
It takes me five minutes to walk from my house to the pub. It takes me 35 minutes to walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.
Roger decided he was in no shape to drive as he walked out of the bar
So he sensibly left his car parked and walked home. As he was staggering along, he was stopped by a policeman.
'What are you doing out here at three o'clock in the morning?' asked the police officer.
'I'm on my way to a lecture,' answered Roger.
'And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time of night?' enquired the constable sarcastically.
'My wife,' slurred Roger grimly.
It takes me 10 minutes to walk to the bar, but an hour to walk home.
The difference is staggering.
It takes me 5 minutes to walk from my house to the bar, but 25 minutes to walk home.
The difference is staggering.
My drunk girlfriend asked me what I thought of her dancing.
I told her it was just staggering.
It takes 5 minutes for me to walk to my pub and 15 for me to walk back.
The difference is staggering.
A man was staggering home drunk in the early hours of the morning when he was stopped by a police officer.
What are you doing out at this time of night? asked the officer.
I'm going to a lecture, said the drunk.
And who's going to be giving a lecture at this hour?
My wife.
I've spent today analysing some statistics about how drunk people walk.
They're just staggering.
You can explore staggering stumble reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean staggering car dad jokes. There are also staggering puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
The officer said You're staggering.
I said You're quite handsome yourself.
We both laughed and laughed.
I need bail money.
All the single ladles
Joe invited his mother over for dinner one night. During the course of said dinner his mother couldn't help but notice the staggering beauty of Joe's roommate. She had been long suspicious of a relationship between them, and her beauty combined with the banter she had seen them share only made her all the more curious.
Joe noticed his mother's suspicion. "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you that Julie and I are just roommates."
A week later, Julie came to Joe and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I can't seem to find the gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it on accident, do you?"
Joe agreed that it was a reasonable possibility, and wrote a letter to his mother inquiring about the ladle. It read, "I'm not saying you 'did' take the ladle, nor am I saying you 'did not' take the ladle,' but the fact is it's been missing since you came to dinner last week."
Several weeks later, a reply came.
"I'm not saying you 'do' sleep with Julie, nor am I saying you 'do not' sleep with Julie. The fact is if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the ladle by now."
President Donald Trump and his motorcade are cruising along a country road to Florida after the government shutdown. Suddenly they hit a pig, killing it instantly.
Trump tells his chief of staff to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later Trump sees him staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn.
"What happened to you?" asked Trump
"Well, the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar and his 21-year-old daughter made mad passionate love to me."
"My God, what did you tell them?" asks Trump.
"I said I'm Donald Trump's Chief of staff, and I just killed the pig."
President Donald Trump and his driver were cruising along a country road
President Donald Trump and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly.
Trump told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later Trump sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn.
"What happened to you?" asked Trump
"Well, the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar and his 19-year-old daughter made mad passionate love to me."
"My God, what did you tell them?" asks Trump.
The driver replies, "I'm president Donald Trump's driver, and I just killed the pig."
The reverend John Flapps spots a female member of his congregation staggering drunkenly...
along the street. He tries to assist her but they stumble and he falls on top of her. A passing policeman comes up and says "Oi mate, you can't do that in the street"
The Rev replies "You don't understand, I'm Pastor Flapps."
To which the cop replies, "Well, if you're in that far, you may as well Finnish."
When I walk to the bar it only takes me 10 minutes, but when I walk back it takes me 30
The difference is staggering!
The difference
Its a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub, and its a 45 minutes walk from the pub to my house. The difference is staggering..
A drunk's prayer...
A drunk man was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily.
Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg.
"Please God," he thought. "Let it be blood!"
Scientists studied the gait of inebriated men.
The results were staggering.
A staggering drunk knocks over a pregnant lady who is carrying a bag of groceries...
2 eggs and a bottle of ketchup fall and break to the sidewalk. The drunk say "Sorry lady, but it would have died anyway. Its eyes were too far apart.
A Man Walks Into A Bar.....
He says to the bartender gimme a shot of whiskey. He get's it and downs it. He then says get me a glass of whiskey, he get's that and downs it. Then he asks for a pint of whiskey, the bartender says "Well he won't down this one" the guy downs it. by now he's swaying and staggering, he then asks for two pints of whiskey. The bartender says "Why are you downing all these whiskeys so fast?" the guy replies "Because I've only got 50 pence"
I was pulled over by a police officer for drink driving.
He said walk down the path in a straight line, 3 yards into the walk, the officer said, "You're staggering" I said, "you're quite handsome yourself" We just laughed and laughed. Now I need bail money.
It's only a 10 minute walk to the nearest bar, but it takes me an hour to walk home...
The difference is staggering!
The traffic police spotted a man staggering towards his car and opening the driver's door.
They stopped and confronted him.
Excuse me, sir, but I hope you are not intending to drive the car?
Of course I am, officer, he slurred. I'm in no state to walk.
I decided to test and see what would happen if I got my friend to punch me in the face...
The results were staggering.
What do you do when you see your neighbour staggering in the back yard?
Shoot him again.
Staggering how people conceal themselves!
My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs. I have been his customer for 6 years and I have no idea that he was a barber!
After an accident, my friend is learning to walk all over again.
His progress is staggering.
Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person's walk...
And the result was staggering.
I unveiled my plan for loan repayments.
It's staggering.
Nine researchers are stuck debating the findings of a new study.
The results are staggering, leaving the researchers split 5-4 in favor of the conclusion. Across all fields, at least one in two people are incompetent at their jobs.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the staggering precinct jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working staggering marvelous piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.