The Best 50 Stadium Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Stadium jokes. There are some stadium outfield jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stadium refs puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Stadium Jokes and Puns
I was at a football game. Sold out stadium, but the guy next to me had an empty seat next to himself...
...As the game wore on, I asked him "Who's seat is that?" He looked at me sadly and said "That was my wife's seat but she passed away."
"I'm sorry to hear that." I replied. "You don't have any other family that might want to come to the game with you?" He shook his head and said "Nah... they're all at the funeral"
Tornado warnings are active for Cleveland, Ohio.
Residents are invited to seek shelter in Cleveland Browns Stadium where there is no chance of a touchdown.
What's the safest place in Dallas during a tornado?
The Cowboys stadium, the only place there'll never be a touchdown
Why was the stadium so cool?
it was full of fans.
Thank thank you for your time
A man is watching a world cup final in a sold out stadium
He notices an empty seat just in front of his and says to the guy sitting next to it, "Hey man, how come this seat here's empty? Tickets for this game havee been sold out for months!"
"Well, the seat was meant for my wife, but sadly, she passed away"
"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. But couldn't you get a friend or relative to come along instead?"
"Nah, they're all at the funeral."
Quick question
Do clippers games count as sold out if the stadium is three fifths full?
Why did the turkey get kicked out of the football stadium?
He tripped a fan
Where are people in Dallas staying to avoid getting Ebola?
The Cowboys Stadium.
Because they can't catch anything there.
What lights up a soccer stadium?
A soccer match.
['90s] Did you hear McDonalds just bought the naming rights to that new hockey stadium?
They're calling it the Mac-Arena.
The Pope and Hillary Clinton
The Pope and Hillary Clinton are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leans towards Hillary and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in the crowd go wild with joy? The joy will not be a momentary display , but will go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice."
Hillary replied, "I seriously doubt that with one little wave of your hand that is possible; show me."
His Holiness then backhanded Hillary and knocked her off the stage! The crowd roared and cheered wildly and there was happiness throughout the land.
You can explore stadium mets reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stadium coliseum dad jokes. There are also stadium puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why is MetLife Stadium the windiest stadium in the NFL?
Because there's a Giant fan in every seat.
What do you call five Arsenal fans at the Emirates Stadium?
A holiday trip
Why is it so hard to watch a sporting event at Warsaw Stadium?
Because no matter what seat you're in, you're sitting behind a Pole.
Where do you go if a twister is about to touchdown in Texas?
The Dallas Cowboy Stadium, a touchdown never happens there!
Why did the stadium get hot after the game?
All the fans left
They won't be able to serve bottled beer this year at the baseball stadium.
They lost the opener.
"Hey Dave!"
A guy is sitting in the left field bleachers of a baseball stadium, watching the game. In the first inning, someone pretty far behind him yells, "HEY DAVE!" The guy turns around and can't find who was yelling it.
This happens again in the fourth inning, and once more in the seventh. Frustrated at this point, the guy turns around and yells, "MY NAME'S NOT DAVE!!!"
Who holds the record for most saves at Yankee Stadium?
Billy Graham
How is the situation husband with his pregnant wife
Husband wanted to call the hospital
to ask about his pregnant wife,
but accidently called the cricket stadium.
He asks, "How's the situation?"
He was shocked & nearly died on hearing the reply.
They said, "It's fine. 3 are out,
hope to get another 7 out by lunch,
last one was a duck!"
The Browns asked if they could put a pokestop inside the stadium...
in hopes that people would attend their games.
I don't understand why the Lions and Vikings get to play on thanksgiving.
Shouldn't the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium?
Its a wonder how stadiums get so hot
When they're filled with fans!
Why was the stadium so cold?
Because there were a lot of fans.
Why is AT&T park the coldest baseball stadium?
It's full of Giant fans
The Washington Redskins' stadium being sponsored by FedEx makes a lot of sense.
Neither delivers on Sundays.
80,000 blondes meet in a football stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" Convention.
and last blonde to walk in says,
"now to change that light bulb."
Why was the baseball stadium in Poland a huge failure?
Pretty much anywhere you sat you were behind a Pole.
New features in FIFA 19
There is a chance that a game is delayed by 15 minutes due to hooligans with flares in the stadium.
Three cats live at the football stadium
It was lean pickings one winter but eventually they managed to catch a mouse and are discussing how they will divide it up.
The first cat says "as we live at the football stadium let's divide it by team. I support Liverpool so I will eat it's Liver
"Great idea" says the second cat "I support Hartlepool. I will eat the heart
The third cat says "I support Arsenal, I'm not that hungry thanks"
How do you set fire to a football stadium?
With a match.
I wonder how the stadium gets so hot
Even though it's filled with fans
Was cold at the stadium today.
Too many fans.
When a stadium full of midgets does the "wave", is it really a wave?
I always pictured it as more of a "ripple".
A man looks around the football stadium to find a good seat. He sees a man sitting next to an empty seat in the front row. He walks up to the man.
Hello, I need a seat, is this one taken?
Not anymore, it's was suppose to be my wife's.
Why isn't she here?
She died.
I'm sorry for your loss but why not give the seat to another family member or friend?
They're all at her funeral.
Three men from the same country enter a competition to see who has the most children.
As they enter the stadium, the enormous crowd starts cheering in excitement. The first man comes up, and his family of 20 accompanies him on stage. The second man comes up, revealing his enormous family of 60 members. The third man comes up on the stage, but nobody comes up with him. The crowd then starts chanting:
DADDY! DADDY! DADDY...
Why was the Potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible Commentater.
If there's a tornado, you should go to the Cowboy's Stadium.
Because there's no chance of a touchdown there!
I ordered a steak prepared à la Robert Kraft at a steakhouse outside Gilette Stadium.
It was well-aged meat, massaged with an Asian rub, publicly grilled and roasted.
A man named Jose moved to America...
A man named Jose moved to America and the first thing he does is go to a baseball game because it seemed like a very American thing to do. When he got there he had to sit by the flag and there were many tall people in front of him. Suddenly everyone in the stadium turned toward him and sang, "Jo-ose can you see!" He replied, "yes, thank you, I can."
Why are stadiums so cool?
Because every seat has a fan on it
Why did it get so hot in the baseball stadium after the game?
Because all of the fans left.
Cincinnati Bengals allowing 2,500 fans into the stadium for the first game.
Word is, now they're looking for 2,000 volunteers to attend the game.
A Mexican man visits his cousin in the US
He wants to watch a baseball game; an integral part of American culture, he has heard. Unable to purchase a ticket, he scales the stadium facade and watches while clinging to the roof.
Afterwards, his cousin enquires about his experience.
It was great! He says. Americans are so considerate! Before the game began they asked me: Jose, can you see?
Tornado warning in Texas...
Everyone evacuate to the Cowboys stadium!
No chance of a touchdown there
Why are stadiums so cool?
Because they're full of fans
Finally time for my thanksgiving joke!!
Why did the turkey get kicked out of the football stadium?
Because he tryptophan
Super Bowl tickets!
Last minute I realize but a friend of mine has two tickets for the Super Bowl in Inglewood, CA at SOFI stadium Tomorrow.
They are box seats that he spent $8,500 a piece for which includes a ride from the airport, open bar, and a pass to the winners locker room.
What he did not realize was last year when he purchased them that this is the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.
It's at St. Paul's church at 3 pm. Her name is Ashley and she is 5'5 and about a 110 pounds. She is a good cook and enjoys the outdoors.
Did you hear that a sewer pipe broke at the football stadium during a game?
Apparently, the shit hit the fans.
Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?
Because all the fans left.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stadium arena jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working stadium superbowl piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.