Stabbing Jokes

Funniest Stabbing Short Jokes

Short stabbing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stabbing humour may include short stabbed jokes also.

1. I stabbed a vampire, beat zombies to death and killed devil itself... my wife rushes through the room and shouts, "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GIVE THEM CANDIES, FRANK"
2. I hate that September, October, November, and December are somehow the 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th months of the calendar year Whoever messed that up ought to be stabbed
3. Studies say most stabbings are committed by someone close to the victim. Within arm's length, to be specific.
4. First day on the job as a drugdealer *giggles*
   "We don't have coke, is Pepsi ok?
   *gets stabbed*
5. Well, OJ has been paroled. The spokesperson for the parole board that granted him his new freedom said they "decided to give him another stab at it."
6. *mugger pulls a knife* Mugger: gimme your money
   Me: well this night took a SHARP turn
   *later*
   Doctor: it's a record for amount of stabs
7. I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy, why are they doing this to him?
8. So did y'all hear oj simpson is going to get remarried? He's gonna take another stab at it.
9. *First day as drug dealer* *Giggles* "coke isn't available, is Pepsi ok?"
   *gets stabbed*
10. Did you hear about the Mexican that got stabbed on a golf course? I guess someone made a hole in Juan.

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Stabbing One Liners

Which stabbing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stabbing? I can suggest the ones about stabbed death and getting stabbed.

1. A judge asked a wife why she stabbed her husband 75 times. She said her arm got tired.
2. Apparently someone in London gets stabbed every 90 seconds. Poor guy.
3. I've always stood up for black people... It's not worth getting stabbed over a seat
4. I just read that someone gets stabbed in New York City every 46 seconds. Poor guy.
5. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.
6. Every fifteen seconds someone in London gets stabbed. Poor guy.
7. I think my friend is a vampire I stabbed him in the heart with a wooden stake and he died
8. My Therapist told me, "Time heals all wounds"..... So, I stabbed him. Now we wait.
9. Any salad can be a Caesar salad. If you stab it enough.
10. What did the debater say after getting stabbed during an argument? Good point
11. My wife has two weeks left to live... Then I'm going to stab her.
12. Last night, a guy tried to stab me with a butter knife He said i was toast.
13. a golfer stabbed a Mexican the other day.... it was a hole in Juan
14. Did you know that if you stab a salad 23 times, It becomes a Caesar Salad
15. Why does the river Thames run through London? If it walked, it'd get stabbed.

Witty Stabbing Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about stabbing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stabs jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stabbing pranks.