Stabbed Jokes

Funniest Stabbed Short Jokes

Short stabbed jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stabbed humour may include short stabbing jokes also.

1. I stabbed a vampire, beat zombies to death and killed devil itself... my wife rushes through the room and shouts, "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GIVE THEM CANDIES, FRANK"
2. I hate that September, October, November, and December are somehow the 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th months of the calendar year Whoever messed that up ought to be stabbed
3. Studies say most stabbings are committed by someone close to the victim. Within arm's length, to be specific.
4. First day on the job as a drugdealer *giggles*
   "We don't have coke, is Pepsi ok?
   *gets stabbed*
5. Well, OJ has been paroled. The spokesperson for the parole board that granted him his new freedom said they "decided to give him another stab at it."
6. *mugger pulls a knife* Mugger: gimme your money
   Me: well this night took a SHARP turn
   *later*
   Doctor: it's a record for amount of stabs
7. I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy, why are they doing this to him?
8. So did y'all hear oj simpson is going to get remarried? He's gonna take another stab at it.
9. *First day as drug dealer* *Giggles* "coke isn't available, is Pepsi ok?"
   *gets stabbed*
10. Did you hear about the Mexican that got stabbed on a golf course? I guess someone made a hole in Juan.

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Stabbed One Liners

Which stabbed one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stabbed? I can suggest the ones about stabs and pulled knife.

1. A judge asked a wife why she stabbed her husband 75 times. She said her arm got tired.
2. Apparently someone in London gets stabbed every 90 seconds. Poor guy.
3. I've always stood up for black people... It's not worth getting stabbed over a seat
4. I just read that someone gets stabbed in New York City every 46 seconds. Poor guy.
5. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.
6. Every fifteen seconds someone in London gets stabbed. Poor guy.
7. I think my friend is a vampire I stabbed him in the heart with a wooden stake and he died
8. My Therapist told me, "Time heals all wounds"..... So, I stabbed him. Now we wait.
9. Any salad can be a Caesar salad. If you stab it enough.
10. What did the debater say after getting stabbed during an argument? Good point
11. My wife has two weeks left to live... Then I'm going to stab her.
12. Last night, a guy tried to stab me with a butter knife He said i was toast.
13. a golfer stabbed a Mexican the other day.... it was a hole in Juan
14. Did you know that if you stab a salad 23 times, It becomes a Caesar Salad
15. Why does the river Thames run through London? If it walked, it'd get stabbed.

Getting Stabbed Jokes

Here is a list of funny getting stabbed jokes and even better getting stabbed puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• OJ Simpson was being interviewed the other day. The reporter asked if he'd considered getting married again. OJ said he had thought about taking another stab at it.
• I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds Poor guy.
• I always get nervous before injections so I shut my eyes. I usually end up stabbing the chair.
• Why does the river Clyde run through Glasgow? If it walked, it would get stabbed
• TIL that someone in the UK gets stabbed every 52 seconds Poor guy.
• After getting released from prison, I hear OJ wants to get married again.... I guess he wants to take another stab at it.
• Do you ever get a shooting pain through your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you and they are stabbing it? No?
  How about now?
  Now?
• Apparently O.J. Simpson is getting remarried He decided to take another stab at it
• Word on the street OJ Simpson is getting married again.. Sounds like he wanted to take another stab at it.
• Acupuncturists cannot be trusted. They'll stab you in the back as soon as they get a chance.

Stabbed Death Jokes

Here is a list of funny stabbed death jokes and even better stabbed death puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Chuck Norris got stabbed The knife bled to death
• Someone snuck aboard the Death Star and stabbed Darth Vader with a lightsaber. It was a space in Vader.
• I was standing next to a guy before he was brutally stabbed. It was a near-death experience.
• A paperclip walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the pointy face?" The paperclip, incapable of human speech, forms a long, thin sliver of metal and stabs the bartender to death.
• A coroner's job is easy Every death is 'natural causes'. "He was stabbed 15 times in the neck so, naturally, he died."
• "I just heard that that one actress from Legally Blonde, Reese... 'whatever her last name is' got stabbed to death walking to her car last night." "Witherspoon?"
  "No, with a knife."
• What's the difference between being stabbed to death and an argument with your wife. If the argument goes on to long there won't be... But it's okay we wanted to die from the start.
• What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death? Isaac Newton died a v**....
  Repost.

Cheeky Stabbed Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about stabbed you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean knives out jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stabbed pranks.