St Patricks Day Jokes
66 st patricks day jokes and hilarious st patricks day puns to laugh out loud. Read holiday jokes about st patricks day that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Tickle your funny bone this St. Patrick's Day with our list of hilarious jokes! As we celebrate the luck of the Irish on this festive holiday, incorporating some good-natured humor into the mix can certainly add a touch of merriment and cheer. From witty one-liners to pun-filled quips, these clever jokes are a great way to break the ice and spread some St. Patrick's Day cheer. So whether you're hosting a party, attending a parade, or simply looking to bring a smile to someone's face, our collection of jokes about St. Patrick's Day is sure to do the trick!
Funniest St Patricks Day Short Jokes
Short st patricks day jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The st patricks day humour may include short st patrick day jokes also.
- I bought a diamond ring on St. Patricks day but found out it was a fake They gave me a sham rock
- What do you call a bulletproof Irishman? Rick O'Shea. (ricochet)
Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!!! - This St. Patrick's day I drank too much and had to take a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before.
- What's Irish and lays out on your lawn all night after your St. Patrick's Day party? Patty O'furniture
- Irish Jokes Megathread Post all of your Irish, St. Patrick's Day, or good ol' Emerald Isle jokes for the day here! I'd like to share some with coworkers.
- What do you call a leprechaun's prank? A St. Pat-trick! Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone!
- What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Cinco De Mayo? On Cinco De Mayo, not everybody pretends to be Mexican.
- Samuel L. Jackson is going to be playing St. Patrick in a new movie. His first job will be to get some Snakes off a plain.
Happy St. Patrick's Day! - In honour of St Patrick's day, can you guess my Irish name? Pat MiGroin.
Yeah, my grandpa just told me that one...some visual images cannot be unseen. - In honor of St. Patrick's day I'm here to tell you everything I know about leprechauns. Very little
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St Patricks Day One Liners
Which st patricks day one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with st patricks day? I can suggest the ones about paddy irish and irish wedding.
- Happy St. Patrick's Day! I told an Irishman a dad joke. He was Dublin over with laughter.
- In honor of St. Patrick's Day... Three Irishmen walk out of a bar.
- What band should you listen to on St. Patrick's day? Green Day
- What do leprechauns eat on St. Patricks day? Unicorned Beef
- What are you wearing for St. Patrick's Day? An Erin Go Bra.
- St. Patrick's Day... It's the closest Irish will ever get to Christmas.
- What's green and hurts the next morning? St. Patrick's Day
- What's long and green and has a low I.Q.? A St. Patrick's Day Parade.
- Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? Regular rocks are too heavy.
- Happy St. Patrick's Day Or "El dia de los Borrachos Verde"
- What do you call a chicken on St. Patrick's Day? Cluck o' the Irish!
- What convention do you go to on St. Patrick's Day? LepreCON.
I'm sorry, I had to. - I might only be 25% Irish, but on St Patrick Days I will be 100% drunk.
- Drink green beer on St Patricks Day! It counts as a vegetable!
- Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland? He couldn't afford plane fare.
Silly St Patricks Day Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about st patricks day you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean paddy the irishman jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make st patricks day pranks.
What has eight arms and an IQ of 80? Four girlfriends drinking on St Patricks Day!
What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick's Day? St. O'Claus!
Why do frogs like St. Patrick's Day? Because they're always wearing green.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do bullshitters like most about St. Patricks day? The blarney stone!
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do perverted leprechauns drink on St. Patricks Day? Mount & Do.
My wife made me a green hamburger today to celebrate St Patricks Day.
I asked her how she colored it and she said she didn't know what I was talking about.
They say St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. I wonder if he could do that for Congress.
On St. Patrick's Day I like to make believe I'm Irish. Just like at Christmas when I make believe I'm good.
A Jewish joke my Jewish grandfather sent me.
One day at kindergarten the teacher said she would give anyone 10 dollars if they could tell her who the most famous man who ever lived.
A little Irish boy said, "It was St. Patrick!"
The teacher replied, "I'm sorry Sean, but no."
A young Scottish boy said, "It was St. Andrew!"
The teacher replied, "Sorry Hamish, but that is not correct."
Finally, a young Jewish boy named Marvin raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ."
The teacher replied, "Yes Marvin, that is correct! Come up here and I will give you your 10 dollars!"
As Marvin was being paid, the teacher said, 'You know, you being Jewish and all, I never thought you would say 'Jesus Christ.'"
Marvin replied, "Well, I know in my heart i knew it was Moses, but business is business."
I want to make a special present for my dad's birthday. How do I make a St. Patrick's Day mocha?
He says Irish coffee is the only thing keeping this family together
Sunday in church after St. Patrick's Day
It was a sunday after St. Patrick's day in the church of a small village in the west of Ireland. Obviously all the people were more or less hungover, which infuriated the pastor of the village.
"It's a disgrace how we celebrate our most important saint by indulging in binge drinking and other improper activities. If I could have all the wine in the world, I would throw it in the river!"
There was a wave of murmur among the churchgoers.
"If I could have all the beer in the world, I would throw it in the river as well!"
The people put their heads down in guilt, thinking about what they had done.
"If I could have all the SPIRITS in the world, I would throw them in the river with the beer and the wine!"
Now the church was completely silent.
After a short while, the musical conductor of the church spoke up, "Now let us sing hymn number 369, *'Shall We Gather at the River?'*"
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I heard this story from the ambassador of Ireland in Finland.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In light of all the LGBT groups participating in St Patrick's Day.....
I'm going to open a new Irish themed gay bar. It will be called *s**... and Begorrah*
A German Dad Joke
So, because St. Patrick's Day is tomorrow I asked my dad (who is German) if Germans have any day like St. Patrick's Day. His said, "Yes, it's called October."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How to tell an Irishman from a Scotsman on St. Patrick's day?
One wants to stay drunk all the time and the other doesn't want to pay the tab.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's green and sits on the porch?
p**... O'Furniture.
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Don't be sad if you didn't have a Valentine's.
I know what you feel. Many people don't have a Patrick on st Patrick's day.
Some people say that going to bars on St. Patrick's Day and New Year's Eve is "amateur hour."
But that's just because they don't have a sponsor yet.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In honor of St Patrick's Day being a warm day,
In honor of St Patrick's Day being a warm day, I plan on having a beer outside sitting on our p**... O'Furniture.
Remember it's St Patrick's day today, try and stand out from the crowd...
... wear all orange, it's also an Irish color
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many potatoes
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
None!
Sorry, had to post this on St Patrick's Day, probably a repost, but screw it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Just in time for St Patrick's Day a new gay bar opened in Dublin....
It's called "s**... and Begorrah"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you don't wear green on St. Patrick's Day, you'll get pinched. If you don't wear red, white and blue on the 4th...
i**... ALIEN!
Please stand for the telling of the official St Patrick's Day joke....
What's Irish and sits on the porch?
Patty O'Furniture
That concludes the telling of the official St Patrick's Day joke.
Thank you citizens you may continue with your lives...
Watch out for those St. Patrick's Day scammers
Just had a guy try to sell me a piece of stone he said was from Ireland and kissed by St Patrick. When I looked underneath it said 'Made in China.
Obviously a sham rock.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm in Ireland for St. Patrick's day and asked for an Irish Car Bomb.
The bartender began berating me about how much of an uncultured American I am, how I shouldn't even be allowed to drink with the Irish, and really ripping into me because I got the name wrong. Apparently in Ireland the drink is called a 9/11.
Happy St Patrick's Day!
If you can't kiss the Blarney Stone today, just use a fake substitute. Any sham rock will do.
