The Best 35 St Patrick Jokes

Following is our collection of funny St Patrick jokes. There are some st patrick baldwin jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these st patrick sir elton puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest St Patrick Jokes and Puns

What's green and sits on the porch?

Paddy O'Furniture.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I bought a diamond ring on St. Patricks day but found out it was a fake

They gave me a sham rock

What do you call a bulletproof Irishman?

Rick O'Shea. (ricochet)
Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!!!

St. Patrick's day vs Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

What's the difference between St. Patrick's day and Martin Luther King day?

St. Patrick's day everybody wants to be Irish.

What's Irish and sits outside in the summertime?

Paddy O'Furniture!

(Happy St. Patrick's Day)


I can't find a single Ekans here in Ireland with Pokemon Go.

Thanks, St Patrick

This St. Patrick's day I drank too much and had to take a bus home.

That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before.

Sunday in church after St. Patrick's Day

It was a sunday after St. Patrick's day in the church of a small village in the west of Ireland. Obviously all the people were more or less hungover, which infuriated the pastor of the village.

"It's a disgrace how we celebrate our most important saint by indulging in binge drinking and other improper activities. If I could have all the wine in the world, I would throw it in the river!"

There was a wave of murmur among the churchgoers.

"If I could have all the beer in the world, I would throw it in the river as well!"

The people put their heads down in guilt, thinking about what they had done.

"If I could have all the SPIRITS in the world, I would throw them in the river with the beer and the wine!"

Now the church was completely silent.

After a short while, the musical conductor of the church spoke up, "Now let us sing hymn number 369, *'Shall We Gather at the River?'*"

---

I heard this story from the ambassador of Ireland in Finland.

An Irishman, by the name of O'Malley proposed to his girl on St. Patrick's Day.

He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweller. He took one look at it and saw it wasn't real.

The young lass on learning it wasn't real returned to her future husband. She protested vehemently about his cheapness.

'It was in honour of St.Patrick's Day, ' he smiled.

'I gave you a sham rock.'

the most famous person in the history of the world

The teacher addressed his class,"I'll give five dollars to anybody who can name the most famous person in the history of the world."
An Irish boy raised his hand and said,"St. Patrick."
"Sorry Seamus, that's not correct."
Then a French boy raised his hand and said,"Napoleon."
The teacher replied,"I'm sorry, Jean, that's not right either."
Finally, a Jewish boy raised his hand and answered,"Jesus Christ."
"That's right, David! You win the five dollars. Congratulations!" As the teacher was handing over the cash he said,"You know David, I'm surprised you said Jesus Christ."
"Yeah, in my heart I knew it was Moses. But business is business."

What's Irish and lays out on your lawn all night after your St. Patrick's Day party?

Patty O'furniture

You can explore st patrick ives reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean st patrick joseph dad jokes. There are also st patrick puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Please stand for the telling of the official St Patrick's Day joke....

What's Irish and sits on the porch?

Patty O'Furniture

That concludes the telling of the official St Patrick's Day joke.
Thank you citizens you may continue with your lives...

Irish Jokes Megathread

Post all of your Irish, St. Patrick's Day, or good ol' Emerald Isle jokes for the day here! I'd like to share some with coworkers.

Happy St. Patrick's Day! I told an Irishman a dad joke.

He was Dublin over with laughter.

In honor of St. Patrick's Day...

Three Irishmen walk out of a bar.

Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?

Because it was too far to walk!

I'm in Ireland for St. Patrick's day and asked for an Irish Car Bomb.

The bartender began berating me about how much of an uncultured American I am, how I shouldn't even be allowed to drink with the Irish, and really ripping into me because I got the name wrong. Apparently in Ireland the drink is called a 9/11.

What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Cinco De Mayo?

On Cinco De Mayo, not everybody pretends to be Mexican.

What band should you listen to on St. Patrick's day?

Green Day


Samuel L. Jackson is going to be playing St. Patrick in a new movie.

His first job will be to get some Snakes off a plain.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Big shout going out to St Patrick, who supposedly drove all the snakes out or Ireland.

But let's face it, thats clearly bullshit, they didn't have cars back then

In honour of St Patrick's day, can you guess my Irish name?

Pat MiGroin.

Yeah, my grandpa just told me that one...some visual images cannot be unseen.

What do you call a leprechaun's prank?

A St. Pat-trick! Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone!

A joke for St Patrick's Day. "An Irishman walks out of a bar."

Well, theoretically, it could happen...

In honor of St. Patrick's day I'm here to tell you everything I know about leprechauns.

Very little

Happy St Patrick's Day!

If you can't kiss the Blarney Stone today, just use a fake substitute. Any sham rock will do.

Watch out for those St. Patrick's Day scammers

Just had a guy try to sell me a piece of stone he said was from Ireland and kissed by St Patrick. When I looked underneath it said 'Made in China.

Obviously a sham rock.

Happy St. Patricks Day. Where we honor a patron saint by drinking ourselves into unconsciousness.

Or as the Irish call it...breakfast.

Yesterday I finally told my kids that St. Patrick isn't real,

and it's been me putting the snakes under their pillows all these years.

What do leprechauns eat on St. Patricks day?

Unicorned Beef

Is the tale of St Patrick driving the snakes out of Ireland just mythology?

No, it's hiss-story.

If you don't wear green on St. Patrick's Day, you'll get pinched. If you don't wear red, white and blue on the 4th...

ILLEGAL ALIEN!

A German Dad Joke

So, because St. Patrick's Day is tomorrow I asked my dad (who is German) if Germans have any day like St. Patrick's Day. His said, "Yes, it's called October."

St. Patrick's Day...

It's the closest Irish will ever get to Christmas.

St Patrick wore green a lot, talked to snakes, and used magic . . .

He was a Slytherin, right?

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the st patrick campbell jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working st patrick krafts piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes