The Best 20 Squirt Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Squirt jokes. There are some squirt southerners jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these squirt grapefruit puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Squirt Jokes and Puns

Me: Squirting isn't real, right? It's just urine, right?

Interviewer: I meant any questions about the job.

If you think female squirt isn't piss…

Then Urine for a big surprise

Blood donor

I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. When I drew his blood, there was a little squirt of blood and it surprised him. I looked him deeply in the eyes and told him, you're bleeding because you don't floss

What's Louis C.K.'s favorite drink?

Jack and Squirt.

How come you didn't name me after you Dad?

We named you after your Mom, squirt.

I'll have an Italian BMT on Cheddar bread with everything but lettuce. A squirt of mayo and yellow mustard too please.

Oops. Wrong sub.

Reasons the idiot couldn't kill himself.

He couldn't find the tailpipe on his Tesla.

He jumped in front of a model train.

The bullets wouldn't fit in the squirt gun.

He overdosed on placebo pills.

He jumped off a low bridge.

He stuck a plastic fork in an outlet.

He doused himself in diesel and tried to light it.

He leaped into an animal cage at the petting zoo.

Squirt joke, Reasons the idiot couldn't kill himself.

Things not to say in Subway

1. I would like a 6-inch Hearty Italian.
2. 6-inch doesn't fill me up.
3. Yes, give me more meat.
4. Squirt more of that mayo.
5. I can't take a foot-long.


A man arrives at a fancy dress with a naked girl on his back.

"I'm a turtle" he says.

Oh.. Who's on your back?

"That's Michelle" he replies.

I've squirted an entire bottle of No More Tears in my baby's face...

...and she's still crying. Parenting is hard

What happens if you have sex with a Mcdonalds employee and you make her squirt?

She charges you 25 cents for extra sauce.

You can explore squirt tug reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean squirt ejaculate dad jokes. There are also squirt puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why did the drill instructor squirt condiments on his trainees in the morning?

That's how he mustard the troops.

My mom always called me squirt as a child.

She said it had something too do with the way I was conceived.

What is a lesbians favorite soda?


I made my girlfriend squirt on Valentine's Day.

Turns out the salad I made her for lunch had recalled romaine lettuce in it.

[M] I've only ever been able to dribble a bit while climaxing, but last night I squirt across the room for the first time!

I've come a long way

Squirt joke, [M] I've only ever been able to dribble a bit while climaxing, but last night I squirt across the ro

What's a pornstars favorite beverage?


At Thanksgiving, how soon is too soon to squirt Reddi Wip in your mouth?

I think it's the prayer.

Every year my boyfriend gets me with one of those damned trick candles.

You know, the ones where you blow and you blow and you blow, and then they squirt you in the face.

What do grapefruit and women have in common?

The best ones squirt when you eat them.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the squirt sprinkle puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working squirt pansexual piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes