Squirt Jokes
31 squirt jokes and hilarious squirt puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about squirt that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Squirt Short Jokes
Short squirt jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The squirt humour may include short spray jokes also.
- There's a way of telling if an orange is male or female… If it squirts you in your eye without warning, it's a male.
If it's bitter for no apparent reason, it's a female. - I was rushed into the ER because my son squirted glue into my eye. It was an eye-opening experience.
- I'll have an Italian BMT on Cheddar bread with everything but lettuce. A squirt of mayo and yellow mustard too please. Oops. Wrong sub.
- Things not to say in Subway 1. I would like a 6-inch Hearty Italian.
2. 6-inch doesn't fill me up.
3. Yes, give me more meat.
4. Squirt more of that mayo.
5. I can't take a foot-long. - I've squirted an entire bottle of No More Tears in my baby's face... ...and she's still crying. Parenting is hard
- Did you know oranges have genders? If one squirts in your eye without warning, it's a male.
If it's bitter for absolutely no reason, it's female. - I know a friend who doesn't use hand sanitizer because it only kills 99.9% of the germs. I don't get it. Get two squirts, and it kills 199.8% of germs.
- Why did the drill instructor squirt condiments on his trainees in the morning? That's how he mustard the troops.
- My mom always called me squirt as a child. She said it had something too do with the way I was conceived.
- I made my girlfriend squirt on Valentine's Day. Turns out the salad I made her for lunch had recalled romaine lettuce in it.
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Squirt One Liners
Which squirt one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with squirt? I can suggest the ones about squid and sprinkle.
- What's Louis C.K.'s favorite drink? Jack and Squirt.
- How come you didn't name me after you Dad? We named you after your Mom, squirt.
- I am sitting on the toilet with the squirts. Yes. This is a shitpost.
- I was crushing old pop cans when one squirted old soda on me. It was soda pressing.
- What do grapefruit and women have in common? The best ones squirt when you eat them.
- What's a pornstars favorite beverage? Squirt
- Who robs banks and squirts ink?
Billy the Squid. - What happens when you make an Asian girl squirt? She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce
- The two drinks that will get her pregnant... ...a little Squirt and cider...
- When life gives you lemons you squirt lemon juice in lifes eyes
- Why do waterguns need to be pumped? To make them squirt.
- Frying pans and blondes, what do they have in common? They both make the sausages squirt
- What does a turkey scream right before you squirt a hot load all over it? Baster! Baster!
- Why did Louis c**... hire a babysitter? He needed someone to watch his little squirts.
- If you think female squirt isn't p**...… Then u**... for a big surprise
Share Hilarious Squirt Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about squirt you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean squash jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make squirt pranks.
Me: s**... isn't real, right? It's just u**..., right?
Interviewer: I meant any questions about the job.
Blood donor
I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. When I drew his blood, there was a little squirt of blood and it surprised him. I looked him deeply in the eyes and told him, you're bleeding because you don't floss
Reasons the idiot couldn't kill himself.
He couldn't find the tailpipe on his Tesla.
He jumped in front of a model train.
The bullets wouldn't fit in the squirt gun.
He overdosed on placebo pills.
He jumped off a low bridge.
He stuck a plastic fork in an outlet.
He doused himself in diesel and tried to light it.
He leaped into an animal cage at the petting zoo.
Squirtle
A man arrives at a fancy dress with a n**... g**... his back.
"I'm a turtle" he says.
Oh.. Who's on your back?
"That's Michelle" he replies.
What happens if you have s**... with a Mcdonalds employee and you make her squirt?
She charges you 25 cents for extra sauce.
What is a l**... favorite soda?
Squirt
[M] I've only ever been able to dribble a bit while climaxing, but last night I squirt across the room for the first time!
I've come a long way