Squirt Jokes

31 squirt jokes and hilarious squirt puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about squirt that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Best Short Squirt Jokes

Short squirt puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The squirt humour may include short spray jokes also.

  1. There's a way of telling if an orange is male or female… If it squirts you in your eye without warning, it's a male.
    If it's bitter for no apparent reason, it's a female.
  2. I was rushed into the ER because my son squirted glue into my eye. It was an eye-opening experience.
  3. I'll have an Italian BMT on Cheddar bread with everything but lettuce. A squirt of mayo and yellow mustard too please. Oops. Wrong sub.
  4. Things not to say in Subway 1. I would like a 6-inch Hearty Italian.
    2. 6-inch doesn't fill me up.
    3. Yes, give me more meat.
    4. Squirt more of that mayo.
    5. I can't take a foot-long.
  5. I've squirted an entire bottle of No More Tears in my baby's face... ...and she's still crying. Parenting is hard
  6. Did you know oranges have genders? If one squirts in your eye without warning, it's a male.
    If it's bitter for absolutely no reason, it's female.
  7. I know a friend who doesn't use hand sanitizer because it only kills 99.9% of the germs. I don't get it. Get two squirts, and it kills 199.8% of germs.
  8. Why did the drill instructor squirt condiments on his trainees in the morning? That's how he mustard the troops.
  9. My mom always called me squirt as a child. She said it had something too do with the way I was conceived.
  10. I made my girlfriend squirt on Valentine's Day. Turns out the salad I made her for lunch had recalled romaine lettuce in it.
Squirt joke, I made my girlfriend squirt on Valentine's Day.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about squirt can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of squirt puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Squirt One Liners

Which squirt one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with squirt? I can suggest the ones about squid and sprinkle.

  1. What's Louis C.K.'s favorite drink? Jack and Squirt.
  2. How come you didn't name me after you Dad? We named you after your Mom, squirt.
  3. I am sitting on the toilet with the squirts. Yes. This is a shitpost.
  4. I was crushing old pop cans when one squirted old soda on me. It was soda pressing.
  5. What do grapefruit and women have in common? The best ones squirt when you eat them.
  6. What's a pornstars favorite beverage? Squirt
  7. Who robs banks and squirts ink?
    Billy the Squid.
  8. What happens when you make an Asian girl squirt? She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce
  9. The two drinks that will get her pregnant... ...a little Squirt and cider...
  10. When life gives you lemons you squirt lemon juice in lifes eyes
  11. Why do waterguns need to be pumped? To make them squirt.
  12. Frying pans and blondes, what do they have in common? They both make the sausages squirt
  13. What does a turkey scream right before you squirt a hot load all over it? Baster! Baster!
  14. Why did Louis c**... hire a babysitter? He needed someone to watch his little squirts.
  15. If you think female squirt isn't p**...… Then u**... for a big surprise

Squirt joke, If you think female squirt isn't p**...…

Share Hilarious Squirt Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about squirt you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean squash jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make squirt prank.

Me: s**... isn't real, right? It's just u**..., right?

Interviewer: I meant any questions about the job.

Blood donor

I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. When I drew his blood, there was a little squirt of blood and it surprised him. I looked him deeply in the eyes and told him, you're bleeding because you don't floss

Reasons the idiot couldn't kill himself.

He couldn't find the tailpipe on his Tesla.
He jumped in front of a model train.
The bullets wouldn't fit in the squirt gun.
He overdosed on placebo pills.
He jumped off a low bridge.
He stuck a plastic fork in an outlet.
He doused himself in diesel and tried to light it.
He leaped into an animal cage at the petting zoo.


A man arrives at a fancy dress with a n**... g**... his back.
"I'm a turtle" he says.
Oh.. Who's on your back?
"That's Michelle" he replies.

What happens if you have s**... with a Mcdonalds employee and you make her squirt?

She charges you 25 cents for extra sauce.

What is a l**... favorite soda?


[M] I've only ever been able to dribble a bit while climaxing, but last night I squirt across the room for the first time!

I've come a long way

Squirt joke, [M] I've only ever been able to dribble a bit while climaxing, but last night I squirt across the ro

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these squirt jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.