Squirrel Nut Jokes

127 squirrel nut jokes and hilarious squirrel nut puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about squirrel nut that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

jokes about squirrel nut

Best Short Squirrel Nut Jokes

Short squirrel nut puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The squirrel nut humour may include short squirrel jokes also.

  1. How come when a video of a squirrel putting a nut in a dog gets 18k upvotes and is called "Cute" but when I do it it's a "heinous act" and my dog gets taken away?
  2. What's the difference between a squirrel and a cannibal necrophiliac? One eats nuts and berries, the other nuts, eats then buries.
  3. What's a squirrels favorite way to watch TV? Nut-flix!
    A joke my 8 y/o daughter made up this morning. Thought it was pretty good!
  4. You are what you eat... ...said one squirrel to another.
    The other said in disbelief, "You're nuts."
  5. Did you know? Did you know: A squirrel's brain actually increases in size during winter to remember where they buried their nuts.
    The technical term for it is post-nut clarity
  6. What did Bruce Wayne say to the hungry squirrel? YOU WANNA GET NUTS?
    C'mon, let's get nuts.
  7. my gf asked me why I call her squirrel me: because you're short, cute, jumpy, have a bushy tail, and are always on my nuts.
  8. I saw a squirrel bury a nut in my backyard today. I'm going to swap it for a grilled cheese sandwich and blow his mind.
  9. I met Jon Snow the squirrel the other day He knows nutting.
  10. Why don't squirrels mate in the summer? Because they're storing their nuts for the winter.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about squirrel nut can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of squirrel nut puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Share Jokes With Friends

Squirrel Nut One Liners

Which squirrel nut one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with squirrel nut? I can suggest the ones about pecan nut and peanuts nuts.

  1. From my 6 yo. What do you call a squirrel that doesn't eat nuts? Hungry
  2. Why did the squirrel cross the river on his back? Too keep his nuts dry.
  3. A wise squirrel once said "you are what you eat". Don't believe him, he was a nut.
  4. Why did the squirrel judge the drag queen competition? He is an expert at hiding nuts.
  5. Why do squirrels swim on their backs? To keep their nuts dry
  6. How do you catch squirrels? Climb up a tree and pretend you're nuts.
  7. Why did the squirrel swim on its back? so it wont get its nuts wet
  8. Have you heard of the new squirrel diet? It's just nuts.
  9. Why did the squirrel swim on it's back? To keep his nuts dry
  10. Why did the squirrel fall dead from the tree? Because it's No Nut November.
  11. How do you befriend a squirrel? Just act like a nut.
  12. Why did a squirrel get in my pants? There were nuts in it.
  13. Why do squirrels sleep on their stomach? To keep their nuts warm.
  14. What's the best way to catch a squirrel? Climb up a tree and act like a nut
  15. What is a squirrels least favorite time of year? No Nut November….

Silly Squirrel Nut Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What funny jokes about squirrel nut you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean sees nuts jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make squirrel nut prank.

Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Climb a tree and act like a nut.

Why does a squirrel swim on its back? To keep its nuts dry!

Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Climb a tree and act like a nut.

Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest.

The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh, look! A nut!"
The second squirrel jumped on it and said, "It's my nut!"
The first squirrel said, "That's not fair! I saw it first!"
"Well, you may have seen it, but I have it," argued the second.
At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, "You shouldn't quarrel.Let me resolve this dispute."
The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, "Now, give me the nut."
He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, "See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved."
Then he reached over and said, "And for my fee, I'll take the meat."

I just watched a squirrel bury a nut in my front yard.

I'm going to dig it up and replace it with a Cadbury egg.
That'll blow his little mind.

What did the male squirrel say when the female attacked him...
Get away from my nuts.

If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?

If I was a squirrel I'd chuck my nuts in your hole!

If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

What did one squirrel say to the other? Come around the tree and I'll show you my nuts.

I don't support no nut November

I mean, what else will squirrels store for the winter?

Two trees in a park...

Two trees are talking in a city park one day. The first tree asks "Why do all the squirrels go to you and not me? It's like they don't trust me."
"Well," says the second tree, "it's because you've got no nuts."

Your mom's like a squirrel...

She's always got nuts in her mouth.

A squirrel charged with m**..., the detective "did you do it?", the squirrel ...

"no it was Nut me"

Why do squirrels swim upside down?

to keep their nuts dry

I went to kuwait, found no squirrels there..

No animal can sustain a burst of oil everytime they bury a nut.

Believe it or not, I dated a squirrel in third grade.

She drove me nuts, though.

Today I saw a squirrels t**....

It was nuts.

Where are a squirrel and a chipmunk most likely to meet?

A nut house.

A man runs out of a forest and into a bar, yelling:

the squirrels are after me, they think I'm nuts!

Why did the squirrel float down the richer on his back?

To keep his nuts dry

Why did the talking squirrel try to eat me?

Because I was nuts.

Why was the Eunich Squirrel unhappy?

Because he had no nuts.

I saw a squirrel drop an acorn today.

Poor little guy busted his nut.

If I was a squirrel.....

Could I bust a nut in your bush?

What does an asylum have in common with a squirrel's house?

They're both used to store nuts.

Why are most male squirrels gay?

Cuz they love nuts!

What animal do psychiatrists bring in to mental hospitals to help patients with social anxiety?

Squirrels; they're the best at getting nuts out of their shells.

I saw a squirrel p**... the other day.

s**...'s Nuts...

Why are squirrels actions so s**...?

They are always trying to bust a nut

What did the squirrel say when it saw the acorn tree cut down and taken away?

Thats nuts

Why do squirrels have bushy tails?

To keep their nuts warm.

At Last I Found the Secret

Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
So their nuts don't get wet!

A squirrel had dynamite.

He was trying to bust a nut

Why did the squirrel cross the road?

To bust a nut.

If you want to catch a squirrel

just climb a tree and act like a NUT

I had to file a s**... harassment claim against a squirrel in the park yesterday...

...he wouldn't stop trying to grab my n**....

If you give a squirrel a steering wheel

It can drive me nuts!


Said the squirrel when she opened her birthday present.

A Squirrel in Sitting in a Tree Eating Some Nuts When Suddenly the Tree Starts to Shake Violently.

He looks down and sees an elephant climbing the tree.
The squirrel says "hey elephant, what are you doing?"
The elephant replies "I'm climbing this tree to eat some pears!"
"You d**...," says the squirrel, "this is a pine tree... there's no pears up here."
The elephant says "I know, I brought my own!"

why squirrel swims on its back?

to make sure the nuts are dry.

How hot is it?

It so hot I saw a squirrel icing his nuts.

I gave some almonds to a squirrel on my way to school today.

I had no idea it would go so nuts!

What's the difference between a winter-prepared squirrel and h**...?

h**... only had one nut.

As I was walking through the woods I got hit in the head by some shell fragments.

I tried to ignore it but it happened a second time and then a third.
Looking up in anger I saw two squirrels that looked like they were up to no good, so I screamed up at them, "what are you trying to do start a war?!?!"
The bigger of the two looked down at me and said, "nah man, just trying to bust a nut."

Why do squirrels swim on their backs?

To keep their nuts dry.
^^Joke ^^Sponsored ^^by ^^'The ^^Nut ^^Job ^^2: ^^Nutty ^^By ^^Nature'

What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?


People are like squirrels....

They follow the nuts.

Why Do Squirrels Swim On Their Back?

To Keep Their Nuts Dry. (Told in school assembly today by a 13 year old student)

What did the sugar glider say to the squirrel?

I'll put some sugar on those nuts

How do you get a squirrel to come down a tree?

Unzip your pants and show 'em your nuts!

How do you get a squirrel to come down from a tree?

t**... pants and show him your nuts

A squirrel ran up and offered me a nut

Thank god Novembers over

How can you tell that a squirrel is male...

If you can see his nuts

You are to me what a tree is to a squirrel

A place to put my nut in and forget about.

Two Squirrels GO Camping

They set up a tiny tent and make a tiny campfire. Then, one squirrel pulls out a frying pan and begins to pan fry some twigs. The other squirrel snatches it from his hand and says,
"Are you NUTS?!? This is a non-stick pan!"

What is the gayest animal in the world?

A squirrel. They go through their whole life finding nuts to bust or to shove in their mouth.

What does a gay vampire and a squirrel have in common?

They are always looking for nuts to put in their mouth.

What does the squirrel do on his computer late at night?

He nuts.

Why did the squirrel bury the tuna?

Because if you spell it backwards, it's a nut.

I choked on acorn the other day.

The squirrels nut clogged my t**...

There once was a girl who thought she was a squirrel

But all she really wanted was a nut

Fixed to the spot, the squirrel realised ...

he'd buried the wrong nuts.

Who here has squirrel wisdom?

Because you look like a squirrel wisdom nuts in your mouth!

How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. No matter how hard you try, you will NEVER get them to screw in that lightbulb. You will drive yourself nuts trying.

What did the hurricane say to the squirrel?

"Hold on to your nuts because this is no ordinary b**..."

If squirrels could tell jokes, they'd be quick and to the point

Because they'd be in a nut shell

I took a squirrel to a psychiatrist's today.

The poor cutie had gone nuts.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these squirrel nut jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.