The Best 44 Squir Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Squir jokes. There are some squir hurl jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these squir friends puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Squir Jokes and Puns
Why did the squirrel fall dead from the tree?
Because it's No Nut November.
I was trying to think up some squirrel puns.
But, they were all too nutty.
A squirrel and an owl are sitting on a tree branch, watching a farmer plow his field...
The owl looks at the squirrel, and doesn't say anything, because owls don't talk.
Then the owl eats the squirrel, because he's a bird of prey.
I saw a squirrel bury a nut in my backyard today.
I'm going to swap it for a grilled cheese sandwich and blow his mind.
Why did the squirrel swim on its back?
so it wont get its nuts wet
Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
I've squirted an entire bottle of No More Tears in my baby's face...
...and she's still crying. Parenting is hard
Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?
It died.
Squirrels are like cigarettes.
They are completely harmless until you stick one in your mouth and light them on fire.
I saw a squirrel pooping the other day.
Shit's Nuts...
Me: Squirting isn't real, right? It's just urine, right?
Interviewer: I meant any questions about the job.
You can explore squir house reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean squir dry dad jokes. There are also squir puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why don't squirrels mate in the summer?
Because they're storing their nuts for the winter.
Why did the squirrel blush after he was hit by a car?
He was flattered.
Squirrels are like cigarettes.
I used to not be able to get near them. But putting them in my mouth and lighting them on fire is still where I draw the line.
What did the squire say to his boss after he tucked him in?
Night knight.
A Squirrel in Sitting in a Tree Eating Some Nuts When Suddenly the Tree Starts to Shake Violently.
He looks down and sees an elephant climbing the tree.
The squirrel says "hey elephant, what are you doing?"
The elephant replies "I'm climbing this tree to eat some pears!"
"You dummy," says the squirrel, "this is a pine tree... there's no pears up here."
The elephant says "I know, I brought my own!"
What do a squirrel and a cigarette have in common?
Put either one in your mouth, light it on fire, and it will kill you.
Source: Friend told me
What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
Forget-me-nuts.
Squirrels are like cigarettes
The perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and set in on fire
What did the squirrel do to try and impress his date?
He went out on a limb.
How do you get a squirrel to come down from a tree?
Take off your pants and show him your nuts
Three squirrels were sitting on animal hides...
The first squirrel was sitting on a rabbit hide and weighed one pound. The second squirrel was sitting on a wolf hide and weighed two pounds. And the third squirrel was sitting on a hippopotamus hide and weighed three pounds. This proves that the squirrel on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squirrels on the other two hides.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry
Two Squirrels GO Camping
They set up a tiny tent and make a tiny campfire. Then, one squirrel pulls out a frying pan and begins to pan fry some twigs. The other squirrel snatches it from his hand and says,
"Are you NUTS?!? This is a non-stick pan!"
What does the squirrel do on his computer late at night?
He nuts.
Why did the squirrel bury the tuna?
Because if you spell it backwards, it's a nut.
Why do squirrels sleep on their stomach?
To keep their nuts warm.
Why did the squirrel judge the drag queen competition?
He is an expert at hiding nuts.
Where do squirrels go in a hurricane?
All over the place!
What did the squirrel say to the police dog when it raided its tree house?
...You're barking up the wrong tree.
Why do squirrels always act like they are insane?
They want to be sent to the nuthouse.
Why did the squirrel cross the river on his back?
Too keep his nuts dry.
What's a squirrels favorite way to watch TV?
Nut-flix!
A joke my 8 y/o daughter made up this morning. Thought it was pretty good!
Squirrels have a habit of storing food in the winter
Isn't that nuts?
How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut.
Why do squirrels like asylums?
Because of all the nuts!
How do you get a squirrel down the tree?
You pull down your pants and show em your nuts.
Why did a squirrel get in my pants?
There were nuts in it.
(Sorry)
A squirrel in the refrigerator
A man comes home after a hard day's work and opens the refrigerator
to get a soda. Inside, he sees a squirrel taking a nap.
What are you doing in my fridge? the man asks.
The squirrel opens one sleepy eye and says, Isn't this a Westinghouse?
Um, yes, the man replies. It is.
Well then, the squirrel says, shutting his eyes again, I am twying to west.
Squirtle
A man arrives at a fancy dress with a naked girl on his back.
"I'm a turtle" he says.
Oh.. Who's on your back?
"That's Michelle" he replies.
What's a Squirrels favorite seasoning?
Nutmeg.
Why did the squirrel swim on it's back?
To keep his nuts dry
Squirrel runs into a bar...
Says, " Hey bartender, you got any nuts?"
Bartender says, "Get out of here you squirrel "
Next day squirrel runs into the same bar, says " Hey bartender you got any nuts?"
Bartender says, " Get out of here squirrel, we don't serve your kind here. If I see you in here again, I'll nail your ass to the wall!"
Next day the squirrel run into the bar and says, " Hey bartender, you got any nails?"
Bartender says, " I ain't got any nails!"
Squirrel says, " Then do you got any nuts?"
What does a squirrel like to watch on T.V.?
Nutflix
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the squir farthest jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working squir lunge piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.