Squint Eye Jokes
28 squint eye jokes and hilarious squint eye puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about squint eye that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Squint Eye Short Jokes
Short squint eye jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The squint eye humour may include short cross eyed jokes also.
- A Jewish man walks up to an Asian man... The Jewish man says
"Hey, your eyes are really squinted, must be hard for you to see, huh!"
The Asian man says
"Well at least I can see my grandparents." - Asian restaraunt Waitress: what would you like?
Man: I would like a bowl of chili.
Waitress: But sir, this is a chinese restraunt.
Man : oh im so sorry. ( Squints eyes)
I would rike a bowl of chiri - The flash from the hiroshima bomb was so bright... ...that even today, people there walk around with their eyes in a squint
- So I'm at Customs and the boarder agent holds up my passport, squints their eyes and says ... Is-real I said yes it is, now can I go?
- Guy in bar, telling me his whole life story, stops when I ask if he's drunk... He squints one eye and says, "I'm not drunk, I'm speaking in cursive"
Share These Squint Eye Jokes With Friends
Squint Eye One Liners
Which squint eye one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with squint eye? I can suggest the ones about cross eye and crossed eyed.
- How to be an asian... Just squint your eyes and say "We all how smaw deek" out loud.
- A squint eyed person's father dies He buries his uncle instead
PS: no offense - It's the story of a guy with squint eyes who lost his father He cried for his uncle
- Why do the japanese have slanted eyes? Because they are still squinting from the blast
- Life is like a magic eye poster I'm so tired of squinting.
- Why are Japanese peoples eyes so squinted? Do you even know how bright an atomic bomb is?
- Why are Asians eyes so squinted? Because the A-Bomb was so bright
Squint Eye Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about squint eye you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean blinded eye jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make squint eye pranks.
An 85 year old man wanted to spice up his marriage
He went to a l**... shop to get a s**... l**... for his 80 year old wife. He got an expensive one and went home.
Later that night he gave it to his wife and told her to put it on. She went to the bathroom to put it on and found out that it was too small for her. She thought He does not have a great eyesight. I will go n**... and he would not even know . So she entered the bedroom n**....
Her husband looked at her, squinting his eyes and muttered, Well, for the price I paid, they should have atleast ironed it .
Two Australians were sitting around talking over a beer..
After a while the first Australian says to the second, If I was to sneak over to your house and make love to your wife while you was off fishing, and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us related?"
The second Australian crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes, thinking real hard about the question.
Finally, he says, _*"Well, I don't know about related, but I reckon it'd make us even."
A guy walks into a store and says to the clerk, I'd like a pound of kielbasa please.
The clerk looks at him, squints his eyes, and says, You're Polish, aren't cha?
The man looks surprised and says, Now how did you know that? Was it because I asked for the national meat of Poland? Or did something else give it away?
The clerk replies, It's because this is a hardware store.
How to attract women:
My friend keeps complaining that he can't attract women. I told him "Why don't you try a s**... look...like lowering your eyelids and biting your lip?"
My friend takes the advice and runs off. He comes back complaining "I TRIED YOUR SUGGESTION AND THE GIRLS KEPT RUNNING AWAY SCREAMING!"
"Hmmm... can you show me what you were doing?"
Friend bites his lip and squints his eyes.
"AH! I see the problem...next time try biting your LOWER lip..."
My girlfriend told me I was too childish.
The other day, I bought her a pair of walkie talkies.
She squinted her eyes at me and said, "Our relationship is over."
I squinted my eyes right back and told her, "Our relationship is what? Over."
A p**... drunk man stumbles onto the bus on his way home...
When he finally hobbles his way to the last empty seat, he turns to see a posh stiff lady seated with her frilly pink French poodle.
He turns his head shakily and slurs, "Where'dh ye get tha' pig?"
The lady huffs and retorts, "Ugh! Why, I'll have you know Mr. Squiggles is **not** a pig! He is a purebred French poodle!"
The man squints his eyes and is silent for a second. Then turns back to the lady and slurs once more:
"I wath tokking...to thuh Frensh poothle."
A french man and his wife go shopping in America
As they are walking down the aisles, she is placing items in bags for them to buy. He is mindlessly walking behind her while she does so, he is missing the simple pleasures of France.
She stops and looks at her husband and holds up a loaf of bread. "Honey, do we need bread? Should I put it in a bag?"
The man looks at his wife and squints his eyes at her.
"Bag-uette." ("Bag it")
(Made this joke one day while in the shower, friends don't find it as absolutely hilarious as I do, let me know if this joke is the best or if I am just s**....)
Make us even
Two good ol' boys in a Georgia trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Kia plant.
After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that
make us kin?"
The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would
make us even!"
Nort!
Leaving school late one day, a boy rushed home for dinner. Knowing he would not be on time taking the usual route, he sought a shortcut through a large fenced field. Well past sunset, he hopped the fence and began to pick his way through the darkened expanse. About halfway through the field he heard a voice:
"Nort" it said.
The boy paused, and squinting his eyes, called "...yes...?"
Hearing no response, the boy continued on in darkness.
Again, but closer this time, he heard the voice. "Nort! Nort!"
"Yes? Hello? Do I know you?" asked the boy.
Sadly, the boy was not to return home that evening. News of his fate headlined the morning paper:
'Local boy Norton Norbert gored to death by harelip bull.'