The Best 42 Squash Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Squash jokes. There are some squash tennis jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these squash squash sport puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Squash Jokes and Puns

What did the squash say to the cucumber when he saw the pumpkin patch get blown up?

Oh My Gourd!

What do you get if you squash a house?

A flat.

What did the Zucchini say when it got stepped on?


Squash joke, What did the Zucchini say when it got stepped on?

What do you get when you squash a bungalow?

A flat!

What is Godzilla's favorite fruit?


How do you sort out Ant and Dec?

Squash one and deal with the other later.

Two native-american boys are walking through a forest

One spots a bug on the ground, points to it and says to the other, "ew, squash it!" The other says, "no, i'm pretty sure it's a bug."

Squash joke, Two native-american boys are walking through a forest

What's the difference between squash and zucchini?

You can't zucchini bugs!

A family-friendly take on the age old "jam VS jelly" joke.

What do you call an apprehensive squash?


What is bigfoots favorite thing to eat?


What did Lady Gaga say to her glass of squash?


You can explore squash cauliflower reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean squash squishy dad jokes. There are also squash puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why I Joined the Air Force

The DOD was conducting an all service briefing and the leader posed this question.
What would you do if you found a scorpion in your tent?
A sailor said, I'd step on it.
A soldier said, I'd squash it with my boot.
A marine said, I'd catch it, break the stinger off, and eat it.
An Airman said. I'd call room service and find out why there's a tent in my room.

What do you call a rotten gourd?

A squishy squash.

Hey, did you hear about the transsexual squash?

Turns out she wanted everything butternuts.

If there were two vegetarian rappers

Could they still have beef? Or would they squash it!

Why did the squash go to the gym?

Because she's getting ready for zucchini season

Squash joke, Why did the squash go to the gym?

I received a wedding invite soaked in squash today.

Turns out I had been cordially invited.

What did the gourd say to the zucchini about their bad relations with a cow.

We gotta squash this beef.

I was going to eat a spaghetti squash...

But then I thought, "Nah, I butternut."

How do you turn a pumpkin into a different vegetable?

You throw it up in the air and it comes down squash!

What do you call a spaghetti squash that tries to pass itself off as real noodles?

An Impasta

My friend and I tried lemon squash

Next time we'll stick to a ball

What do you get when you mix godzilla and a vegtable garden?


I played squash against my son.

A wall might have been better.

What's a vegetables favorite sport?


A squash and melon are talking to each other

The squash asks for the melons hand in marriage. The melon says, "I'm very sorry, but I cantaloupe."

I accidentally stepped on one of my friends squash. I feel so bad.

He told me not even ten minutes before hand that I'd butternut squash it.

Why did the farmer give the cow a pumpkin?

He wanted to squash his beef.

What did one sexually frustrated squash say to the other?

Butternut next time!

I Squash soft drink cans for a living

It's soda pressing

Note: just made this up in the shower when I was thinking about how "so depressing" sounds like "soda pressing"

What's the best way to kill a bug on Halloween?

You Squash them!

What do you get when bigfoot stomps on your garden?


If we could make America communist for just a year

We could squash our obesity epidemic

What did the cockroach say to the man who wanted to squash it?

You're just jealous, because I can make your wife scream louder than you can.

Why is the squash population overpopulated?

They pumpkin.

The depressing thing about squash tennis is that,

no matter how good I get, I"ll never be as good as a wall.

This one was from my daughter after dinner.

What did the linguini say to the spaghetti squash?


What do you call a squash that can't get married?

Cant elope

What is the Hulk's favourite sport?


What is a hydraulic press's favorite vegetable?


When two people don't get along, they have a "beef"

But if they were vegetarian, do they Squash it?

If tennis players get tennis elbow, and squash players get squash knees, what do gynecologists get?

Tunnel Vision

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the squash stunk jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working squash crush piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes