Squares Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

Jesus, Moses, and an Old Man Are Golfing...

Moses steps up to the tee, squares up and hits the ball right into the water hazard. He walks up to the water, raises his club, and parts the water. He then hits it in for two.

Jesus lines up his shot and hits it right into the water. He walks across the water and hits it in for two.

The old man takes his turn and whacks it hard. Right before the ball hits the water, a fish jumps out and bites the ball. Before the fish gets back in the water, a majestic eagle swoops down and grabs the fish, flying high into the sky where a lightning bolt zaps down from a cloud making the eagle drop the fish. That fish hits the ground and the ball rolls from his mouth right into the hole. PLOP.

Jesus whips around angrily shaking his finger. "Dammit, Dad! If you don't quit screwing around you can't play with us anymore!"

there once was a...

There once was a community in which there where the squares and the "jokes". the "jokes" were actually circles but were a minority and were often laughed at and segregated in the community, so they were called "jokes". One circle had enough of the ridicule from the squares and wanted to become a square himself.

He knew that there was only one person in their town that could pull off such a thing. They called him Eye, for he was all seeing. After his long Journey, he finally arrived at Eye's magical hut. After the circle told him his request, the mystical Eye said, "This joke will forever be pointless, and Eye just wasted your time"

Black and white...

I've just woken up with black and white squares all over my face.

I'll have to get this checked.

I never trust octagons.

They're always lazy, just squares that cut all the corners.

Today's date: 4/9/16

2 squares/3 squares/4 squares 4/9/16

Hear about the game of Life Millennial Edition?

There are 27 different pegs for gender and only four squares: Debt, Rent, Destroy an Industry, and early Death from lack of healthcare.

What do you get when you cross two squares with an ogre?

...a Shrektangle.

Two squares crashed into each other,

it was a wreck-tangle.

Why do dogs run in circles?

Because it's harder to run in squares.

Why do the other numbers not hang out with 1, 4, 9, 16, and 25?

Because they're just a bunch of squares.

A young boy says to his father, "Dad, why does the dog spin in circles when she's excited?"

The boy's father replies, "Because it's very hard to spin in squares."

Why can't jello cubes dance?

Because they are a bunch of squares.

I'm gonna make a good dad one day...

Lady Friend: "I'm in Times Squares!"

Me: "Did you just text me an incomplete math problem?"

Lady Friend: "You can barely do algebra..."

A wallhacker joins a COD game,

he comes a cross this one guy who is pretending to be a soldier. The soldier says "Alright, men. We need to step it up", the wallhacker replies: "I don't see any men here, just a bunch of squares."

Do you know why I hate hexagons more than squares?

Because hexagons are more edgy

What is the language of the squares?

Cuban.

Just like not all rectangles are squares but all squares are rectangles..

Not all alcoholics are Irishmen, but all Irishmen are alcoholics!

Why are squares fantastic lawyers?

They are always right.

I had all these small cheese squares but nothing to put them on.

I was really cracka lackin'.

What has more squares than a checkerboard?

An Alabama family tree.

What's the nerdiest birthday?

4/16/25 - 3 squares in 1

So, a middle school science class is learning about genetics

and the students are working with recessive and dominant eye colors in punnett squares. A few minutes into the activity one student beckons the teacher over. He has a very concerned look on his face.

The teacher is a little worried. This has happened before. Every once in a while a student realizes that he is adopted or his dad isn't who he thought.

The teacher hesitantly walks over to the concerned student, ready to have a difficult conversation.

"Do you have a question about the assignment?" the teacher asks.

"Well," the student replies, "I think I might be adopted, because I have blue eyes and both my moms have brown eyes!"


[According to a Special Ed teacher at my school, this really happened to her.]

Waitress: Have i kept you waiting long?

Me: No, but did you know there are 3,296 squares on the ceiling.

Why was Fermat depressed?

Because his math teacher just told him his parents were both squares.

Why don't atheists use squares?

Cause most of them are not carpenters that believe in higher powers.

What is a drummer's favorite variable when making a Least Squares Regression Line (LSRL)?

The y-hat.

'Cracker' is racist.

They should be called Crispy Baked Squares.

Why do dogs run in circles?

It's too hard to run in squares

What are the funniest squares jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Squares? Well, here are the best Squares puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Squares pick up lines to share with friends.

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