spurs Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious spurs puns

I just walked past White Hart Lane and found 3 Spurs season tickets nailed to a wall.

I thought of having them.

Nails always come in handy.


A rough and tough cowboy hitches his horse outside a saloon.

Spurs ringing up the stairs, the door swings open and he sits down on a stool. "gimme a beer, bottle of whisky". After he drinks his fair share we walks back out to unhitch his horse. A second later, the swinging doors bust open and a bullet tears through the roof. "All right you sons of bitches! Who's the coward that stole my horse!" The bar fell silent, some ducked under tables. "No one!?" He shouted. "I'm gonna have another beer and a shot, and if my horse ain't back out there when I'm dun... I'm gonna have to do what I did back in Odessa, an I dun don't wanna do what I had to do back in Odessa...." He said coldly. Some of the locals shifted restlessly, and after the cowboy finished his drinks he walked back outside. Low and behold his horse was out there. He started saddling him up, hopped on and was getting ready to spur out of town when the bar keep spoke up. "H-h-hey m-m-mister?" He stuttered. "W-w-what did you have to do back in Odessa?" The cowboy flicked his cigar, "I had to walk home."


Three doctors are sitting on a park bench when a man limps past...

The first doctor sees him and says, I've been a podiatrist for 10 years, and I bet $1000 that man has bone spurs.

No way! says the chiropractor, I've had my practice for 20 years and that is a clear-cut spinal issue. Can't you see how crooked his back is?

Nope, says the orthopedic surgeon. I've had more training than both of you combined and I'm certain that this man has hip damage.

The doctor's arguing grew so loud that the man overheard them. Well gentlemen, he said, All four of us were wrong.

I thought it was a fart!


A dog with a cowboy hat, spurs and a cigar limps in through the swinging doors of a saloon...

...He says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"


Peter is staring up at Jesus on the cross.

Suddenly their eyes meet and Jesus calls out, "Peter! Peter!"

Peter runs to the foot of the cross but he is beaten and forced back by the Roman guards. Once again he looks up when he hears his savior cry, "Peter. Peter."

Jesus's voice is much weaker now and that spurs Peter up the hill to the foot of the cross where he is again beaten and forced back down the hill.

"Peter... Peter." The voice is very weak now and in desperation Peter fights his way to the cross, climbs up near Jesus's head and says, "Yes, My Lord?"

"Peter, I can see your house from here..."


A dog walks into a saloon...

...and says "gimme a whiskey!" The bartender says "we don't serve dogs here." The dog looks him in the eye, says "I SAID, gimme a whiskey!!" and the bartender responds "AND I SAID, WE DON'T SERVE DOGS!", and he shoots the dog in the foot. The dog runs out yapping.

A little while later they hear the click of spurs outside the saloon. The doors swing open. The dogs walks in with a six-shooter on each hip, looks around and says "I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw."


Who's the last president to change a light bulb?

Obama. Trump had a deferment because of heel spurs, plus he prefers being in the dark.


A dog walks into a saloon, he's got revolver on his hip, a 10 gallon hat, and a pair of spurs on his boots that clank as he limps. With everybody's eyes on him, he limps up to the bar, leans back on it, tips his hat up and says:" I'm looking for the two-bit varmint that shot my pa"



What does a cowboy skeleton where?

Bone spurs.


Why won't you ever see an American slav squatting?

Because his spurs will get stuck up his asshole!


Spurs is the best football team ever.


Good news for spurs fans!

You wont need to buy FIFA 19 because FIFA 18 has the same squad!


Spurs should have some talks with Theresa May

They got out of Europe within 2 months


What are the most funny Spurs jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Spurs? Well, here are the best Spurs dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Spurs pick up lines to share with friends.


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