sprouts Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious sprouts puns

What do you call children born in whorehouses?

Brothel sprouts



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Anal sex is a lot like Brussels sprouts

If you're forced to have it as a child you won't enjoy it as an adult.


-Daniel Tosh

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What do you call children born in Whore Houses?

Brothel Sprouts

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What do you call a prostitute's children?

Brothel Sprouts

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"Some foods give me sleepless nights," I told my wife.

"Like what?" she asked.

"Brussels Sprouts."

"But you don't eat Brussels Sprouts."

"No," I said, "but you do."

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You know how Brussels sprouts and anal sex are kinda the same??

If you're forced to have it as a kid, you probably won't like it as an adult

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"Just a Head"

So there was once a child and he had a terrible, terrible birth defect where he was only a head. On his 21st Birthday, his father took him to bar to get his first drink and of course the bodiless kid was excited to get drunk for the first time. The father places his son on the bar and orders him a beer. The bartender obliges and the father feeds his son a beer. All of a sudden, A TORSO SPROUTS OUT OF HIS HEAD. The bartender, the father, and everyone in the bar is going crazy at this point. The bartender gives him another beer, ARMS sprout from the newly acquired torso! The bar is a mad house. One more beer and LEGS COME OUT OF THE TORSO! He's now dancing around using his new legs for the first time. Of course he's never used legs before, and he is a little tipsy so he accidentally stumbles outside and gets hit by a truck and dies.

The Bartender looks at the father and says, "He should have quit while he was a head."

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What do you call the babies born in a whorehouse?

Brothel sprouts.

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A man has a son who was born as just a head

A man has a son who is literally just a head - no arms, legs, torso - just a head. On his son's 21st birthday, he takes him to a bar for his first drink.

"Bartender, can I have a rum and Coke for my son, please?"

The man gives his son a drink and he sprouts a torso.

"My God," the man said. "Bartender, quick, another drink!"

The man gives his son the second drink and he sprouts arms.

"Holy hell! Bartender, another please!"


The man gives his son the third drink and he sprouts legs. Then, the son runs out of the bar and gets hit by a car.


"You should have quit while he was a head"

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What do you call kids born in whorehouses?

Brothel Sprouts

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What does anal sex and a serving of brussel sprouts have in common?

If you were forced to like it as a child, you probably don't like it as an adult.

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Brussel sprouts are like anal sex.

If you were forced to have them against your will as a child, chances are you won't enjoy them as an adult.

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[NSFW] Q: What do anal sex and brussel sprouts have in common?

A: If your mother kept forcing you to have it when you were a child, you're probably not going to like it as an adult.

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It's very windy where I live.

Looks like Jesus had Brussels sprouts for his birthday.

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What do you call it when a seed sprouts in Saxony?

A Germi-Nation!

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You really have to watch out for new sprouts coming out of your potato's... they're poisonous.

Keep your eyes peeled!

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Brussel sprouts.. Kind of like anal sex...

If you didn't like them as a kid, you probably won't like them as an adult, either.

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What is a hooker's favorite vegetable?

brothel sprouts

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What do Brussels sprouts and pubic have in common?

You push them to the side and keep eating

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What's the difference between anal sex and a serving of brussel sprouts?

If you were forced to like it as a child you probably don't like it as an adult.

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What do you call a French cow that grows sprouts instead of fur?

Chia LaBeouf

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What's the same between Brussel sprouts and anal sex?

If you enjoy it as as an adult you hated it as a kid

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What do you call a child born in a whore house?

Brothel Sprouts

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What's the most popular wine at Christmas?

I don't like brussel sprouts!!!

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What have Brussel sprouts and pubic hair got in common?

You brush them both to the side and carry on eating.

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What's the best vegetable to clean your teeth with?

Brushles sprouts

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Pubes are a lot like Brussels sprouts

You just brush them aside and keep eating

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Did you guys see the stock prices of brussel sprouts today?

They really blew up....

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Did you hear about Brussels?

Looks like we'll be short on sprouts this year...

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What do you get when you cross bean sprouts, peanut sauce and a Disney water park?

Thai-food legume

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Have you heard about the underperforming strain of alfalfa that folks in Sonoma have been growing?

Grocery stores are calling them Baybeta sprouts .

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Anal sex is like brussel sprouts,

I haven't had either.

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If JCVD became a vegetable, what would he be known as?

The muscles from Brussels sprouts.

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What are the most funny Sprouts jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Sprouts? Well, here are the best Sprouts dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Sprouts pick up lines to share with friends.

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