Spring Jokes

143 spring jokes and hilarious spring puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about spring that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Find out some of the most hilarious Spring jokes to play on your teachers and brighten up the Spring season! From gags about Spring break to jokes about days getting longer with Spring Forward, get ready for a laugh with these funny spring jokes sure to bring you a smile.

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Funniest Spring Short Jokes

Short spring jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The spring humour may include short summer jokes also.

  1. The worst part about spring... Getting sued by the Fine Brothers for having an allergic reaction.
  2. A teacher told her first grade class, "A single dolphin can have two hundred off-spring!" A little girl gasped, "How about the married ones?"
  3. How can you tell the difference between spring rolls and summer rolls? By their seasoning.
  4. 5 years ago, I asked this beautiful woman if she would go to dinner with me. Last spring, I asked her to be my wife. Both times she said no.
  5. Why did the bird take a break from singing on the first day of spring? It needed some beak-ause!
  6. How does a grasshopper like to celebrate the arrival of spring? By hopping into the season with joy!
  7. Why did the gardener bring a ladder to the spring equinox party? To reach the highest branches of the conversation!
  8. What did the big flower say to the little flower on the first day of spring? "You're growing so petal-fast!"
  9. What does a bunny say when it hops into a garden on the spring equinox? "Lettuce celebrate spring!"
  10. Why did the robin become a comedian on the first day of spring? It wanted to chirp people up!

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Spring One Liners

Which spring one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with spring? I can suggest the ones about winter and season.

  1. Finally my winter fat is gone Now I have spring rolls
  2. How do you jump higher on a water bed? You fill it with spring water.
  3. How do you make a water bed more bouncy? Add spring water
  4. Why doesn't Conor McGregor like fighting in the spring? Because of Mayweather
  5. How do you make a waterbed bouncier? You put spring water in it.
  6. What kind of water do you put into a waterbed? Spring water
  7. How do you catch a butterfly on the spring equinox? With a butterfly-net-ting smile!
  8. What do you call a spring equinox party with vegetables? A salad-bra-tion!
  9. What's a spring flower's favorite type of music? Tulip-hip hop!
  10. Why are spring flowers always so polite? They have good bloom-ers!
  11. How does a baby bird like to travel on the spring equinox? By tweet-er plane!
  12. Why did the spring onion win an award? Because it was outstanding in its field!
  13. What did one flower say to the other on the spring equinox? "I'm rooting for you!"
  14. What do you call a rabbit that tells jokes on the first day of spring? A funny bunny!
  15. With spring coming, I may buy some wind chimes. I hear it's a pretty sound investment.

Spring Time Jokes

Here is a list of funny spring time jokes and even better spring time puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did the flower go to the party on the first day of spring? It wanted to blossom and have a bud-dy good time!
  • What's the best time to use a trampoline? Spring time.
  • What season is it when you are on a trampoline? Spring time :D
    I'm not funny (._.)
  • My mom called me 4 times in a row and woke me up to tell me this joke. I'm so excited about spring i wet my plants!
  • Why does Connor McGregor hate the spring time? Because he hates MayWeather
  • TIL that dinosaurs used hot springs to take baths But as time advanced they moved onto meteor showers.
  • What is a bed's least favourite time of year? Spring break.
  • What time of the year do big girls jump on trampolines?? Spring break..
  • Why cant you trust math teachers in the spring time? Because they'll always play matrix on you.
  • What is the best season to jump on a trampoline? Spring time!

Spring Break Jokes

Here is a list of funny spring break jokes and even better spring break puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the best part about clown college spring break? Everybody can go to Daytona Beach in one car
  • Why did the sun break up with the winter and start dating the spring equinox? Because it was tired of its cold attitude and wanted someone who could really 'light' up its life!
  • I wish labor day was 9 months after spring break
  • What do most people look forward to but most mattresses fear? Spring Break
  • Before I get into Spring Break traffic, I cover my car in Mucinex... It really thins out the congestion.
  • Why wasn't the robot at school for a week? He had a spring break
  • Why dont Canadian colleges have spring break First , you need spring.
  • What do you call a Calvinist who makes reservations for spring break? predestined
  • No.1 Spring break destination DMV office
  • Why wasn't the robot working? It had a spring break.
Spring joke, Why wasn't the robot working?

Spring Season Jokes

Here is a list of funny spring season jokes and even better spring season puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What is a mattress' favorite season? Spring.
  • What's the difference between a spring roll and a summer roll? Seasoning
  • Why do bees love the first day of spring? Because it's the start of the honey-making season!
  • Why did the spring equinox apply for a job? It heard they were looking for seasonal workers!
  • I lost all my winter fat thanks to this seasonal diet. Now I have spring rolls instead.
  • Spring, winter, summer, or autumn? the best seasons for chefs are.. Salt and Pepper
  • The seasons are all mixed up right now. It's supposed to be spring but it feels more like salt. I'm so wintery
  • I have seasonal depression I'm depressed in the spring, summer, fall and winter
  • A woman is like a delicate, Spring flower... ...I have really bad seasonal allergies, so I just tend to get my fix by looking at pictures of them online.
  • There's a lot of pretty woman at spring because during other seasons you appreciate them with your brain.

Spring Summer Jokes

Here is a list of funny spring summer jokes and even better spring summer puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Everyone seems to think my jokes about spring, summer, and fall are awful. Oh well. I guess they can't all be winters.
  • Why is spring water always freezing cold? Because if it were any warmer, it'd be summer water.
  • How did the trees tell the misbehaving saplings to get out of the grove before summer? They just said they had to leave by spring.
  • Why do all 6 year olds know first hand about climate change? every kindergarten has drawings of Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter.
  • Why do mathematicians think that spring is summer? It's not their fault. May tricks them.
  • Why do blondes give more head in spring? They've heard that one s**... doesn't make a summer.

Spring Kid Jokes

Here is a list of funny spring kid jokes and even better spring kid puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Spring is the nicest season... Just kidding, I live in Canada
Spring joke, Spring is the nicest season...

Fun-Filled Spring Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about spring you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean spark jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make spring pranks.

When do monkeys fall from the sky? During Ape-ril showers!

How do you know when spring is here?

the Leafs are out!

what do you call water that bounces?

Spring water.

An order of monks are selling flowers...

...illegally on the lawn of the p**... Mansion, Hugh Hefner's property. Instead of calling the police, however, Hugh decides to spring into action and stop them himself. After an intense argument, the monks agree to leave peacefully. If it had been anybody else they would have gotten away with it; unfortunately for them, only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

Two boys were walking in the forest...

... and they came across the most beautiful women taking a bath in a hot spring. Upon seeing this, one boy took of running, and the other went after him. When he caught up to the other he asked "Why did you run off?". To this the other replied "Well, my mom told me that if I ever saw a n**... women I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard!"

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas.

Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a j**... lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.
The conversation went like this:
"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"
"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann 's Catholic Church. There's a j**... lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?"
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the foreign accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!"
There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.......
Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye,'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call.

What did the overly excited gardener do when spring arrived?

He wet his plants.

If Billy Mays were a farmer...

And he ran a really good corn maze during the spring, it would be called the "Amazing May Mays Maize Maze."

John Snow.

John Snow was at a bar outside the great wall drinking. A beautiful girl comes inside and her eyes meet his. She likes him, so she goes and introduce herself.
-Hello, handsome. My name is Jenny Spring. What's yours?
John laughs and continues with his drink.
-Why is this funny?
John responds,
-Nothing. I just imagine how rare it would be to have 7 inches of Snow in spring...

Ah Toronto, the only city where the leaves fall in autumn...

...and the Leafs fall in the spring

Did you hear the one about the pregnant bedbug?

She gave birth in the spring.

Why does Manny Pacquiao hate Spring so much?

Because of May weather.

4 college students are having a great time on spring break.

So they decide to spend an extra week away from class. One of the students calls his professor, and says "prof, we are stuck in Daytona beach. We won't be able to make it back in time for exams because the tire on our car blew. We need to get it fixed before we head back".
The prof says "no problem. Your safety comes first. Do what you need to, and when you get back the four of you can write the exam at that point".
So the students live it up for another week. Drinking. Partying. Etcetera.
When they get back to school a week later, the prof welcomes them, sits them each in different rooms, and hands them the exam.
When they turn the page over to start writing, they find their exams have only one question: "which tire?"

How do you get the water in a watermelon?

Plant it in the spring.

Last night I thought I heard the spring onions singing bee gees songs in my fridge.

When I opened the door I realised it was just the chives talking.

What emotion does a tree feel every spring?


What do you call a guy who falls into a yellowstone hot spring?


A duck, a deer, a skunk and an elephant are sitting in a bar

The end of the night rolls around and the waitress asks who is going to pay the tab.
The duck says that he can't pay because he only has one bill.
The deer says that she had a buck on her last night, but won't have any doe until spring.
The skunk says he can't pay because he only has one scent.
Finally, the elephant says "It's okay boys, the highballs are on me!"

How does a tree feel every first day of spring?


What did the excited gardener do when spring finally came?

He wet his plants.

I'd like to buy a bed, please. Certainly, madam. Spring mattress?

Oh, no! I want to be able to use it all year.

A tree with anxiety.

A tree had been filled with anxiety and decides to see a psychologist.
"I just don't know what to do," the tree said. "Every year I feel very anxious during fall and winter."
"Hmm, interesting," the psychologist said, "And how do you feel when spring comes?"
The tree smiles, "Releaved!""

[Slinky] When should you wash a stinky slinky?

During spring cleaning

Your last spring break?

Three students are sitting in an apartment.
One of them asks: "Where did you spend your last spring break?"
Another replies: "I was in Monaco, partying with the biggest hotties in the world.".
The first one then tells him: "I was gambling in Las Vegas, and I won over 5 million bucks.".
The third student then replies: "And I was in the same s**... as both of you, but I didn't smoke that stuff!".

Spring is like a deadbeat dad

It keeps promising it'll be there, but never shows up.

Found on a gardening store sign: We're so glad spring is here,

we wet our plants.

Who is the only Irishman that comes out in the Spring?

Patty O'Furniture

In the onion kingdom, the red onions ruled over all other onions. The red onion King was a well respected ruler. However, one fateful day, the spring onions rebelled.

As the red onion King was thrown from his dais, he turned to the leader of the rebellion. "You'll never truly be King! You're nothing but a shallot-on!"

Spring is here

I'm so excited I wet my plants

Spring is here, and the trees are getting their foliage back.

What a releaf!

Girl, your parents must have been groundhogs...

Because when I saw your shadow it was spring in my pants.

My n**... Days Are Over

My n**... days are over, my pilot light is out.
What used to be my s**... appeal, is now my waterspout.
Time was when, on its own accord, from my trousers it would spring,
But now I've got a full-time job, to find the blasted thing.
It used to be embarrassing, the way it would behave.
For every single morning, it would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches, it sure gives me the blues,
to see it hang its little head, and watch me tie my shoes!

What does the writer suffer from each spring?

A case of allegories

I put my foot through a trampoline last week...

I've had a spring in my step ever since.


Winter can be pretty dreary with all the bare trees,
so when spring comes it's such a re-leaf.

I'm really allergic to pollen

But I feel this spring will be breathtaking

On March 27th, our math teacher burst into class and threatened to cancel Spring Break unless the one who's cheated on all their tests reveals themselves before next month

How are we supposed to catch a cheater in eight days?!

The four seasons were arguing about which of them was the best…

Winter boasts, "Well, you can build snowmen and the snow is so beautiful!"
Spring laughs, "Well sure, but come springtime, everything is so fresh and new! All the new flowers, it can't get much better than that!"
Summer rays, "Yes, but I am undoubtably the overall best season! Girls in bikinis, ice cream, nice weather. You can't top that!"
Autumn ~ *-leaves-*

A man's last meal

So a prisoner is about to be executed and the guards ask him,
What do you want your last meal to be?
Strawberries he responds.
But it's winter. We can't get strawberries until spring
Eh. I'll wait

Best Worst Joke Ever: How do you get water into a watermelon?

You plant the spring!

Two blondes are driving to Miami for spring break

On a long boring stretch of highway they start complaining about how long it's taking to get there and the driver asks "What do you think is further away, Florida or the moon?" The passenger replies "Oh my God, you give blondes such a bad name. I can't believe how s**... you are, you can't even see Florida from here!"

Did you hear about the Bed Bugs getting married?

The wedding was held in the spring.

So there was a family of moles.

They decided to leave thier burrow to smell the spring air. The father mole poked his head out first and sniffed, "I smell lavender." he says. The mother mole poked her head out as well and said "You're right dear, I smell it too." Their son couldn't fit through the burrow entrance and said "Well, all i smell is molasses."

Did you hear about the pregnant bedbug?

She's having a baby in the spring.

What is a pole vaulter's favourite drink?

Spring water.

How do trees feel in the Spring?


I hate spring cleaning.

d**... things bounce all over the place.

Winter is finally over, Spring is here and the trees are full again!

What a re-leaf!

A family of moles

A family of moles awakens from hibernation. The father mole pokes his head out of the hole and says "I smell tulips it must be spring". The mother mole pokes her head out of the hole and says " I smell cherry blossoms it must be spring". The baby mole is trying to squeeze between his parents but gets stuck and says "all I smell is molasses"

Confusious once said…

Man who lay g**... bed spring, this spring…
Will get offspring, next spring.

What do you call water that has been on a trampoline?

Spring water

Did you hear about the pregnant bed bug?

She's gonna have her baby in the spring.

I just want to let everyone know I am in hospital and they are keeping me in.

I have only poisoned myself, what I thought was an onion turned out to be a daffodil bulb.
The doctors said I should be out sometime in the spring!!!

How do you turn a waterbed into a trampoline?

Fill it with spring water.

How do you make a water bed bounce?

Use spring water

I can finally lose this winter weight

Now I'll just have Spring rolls.

What did the tree say when spring arrived?

What a re-leaf!

Spring has officially arrived in Ontario.

The Leafs are out.

It was a chilly day of spring when I answered the door to a child holding a plastic pumpkin by the handle.

"Trick or treat!"
"A little late on that one you reckon? Halloween was months ago"
"It was? Sorry, I'm Internet Explorer"

What type of liquid makes a waterbed the bounciest?

Spring water

Spring joke, What type of liquid makes a waterbed the bounciest?

jokes about spring