Laughable Spreading Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
Aids...
-What would prevent AIDS from spreading in Africa?
-s**... only after lunch
Mad cow disease
Two cows were talking over the fence bordering their farms.
The first cow said "Have you heard about this mad cow disease, it's spreading really fast."
The second cow responded "What do I care? I'm a helicopter."
Persuading girl into having s**... with you is like spreading the butter on a toast.
It is possible with credit card, but it makes more sense using a knife.
For me, having s**... is a lot like spreading butter on toast.
It's possible with a credit card, but so much easier with a knife.
How do Egyptians warn each other about a spreading fire?
Pyroglyphs.
How do you stop Harry Potter from spreading rashes?
Tell him to quidditching it
For me, getting girls is like spreading butter...
It's much easier with a knife.
Are you looking for work spreading the word of Jesus?
Because I can offer you the m**....
Letter from 7 to 6
Dear 6,
Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you two do some pretty n**... things together.
Sincerely,
7
Priest and a Hindu are making breakfast..
The priest is spreading on margarine and exclaims, "Look! It's Jesus in the spread!"
Shocked, the Hindu replies, "Wow, I can't believe it's not Buddha."
Dr Watson asks Sherlock Holmes...
"Holmes, why are you spreading fruit juice on my buttocks?"
"Lemon entry dear Watson, Lemon entry"
You can explore spreading asscheeks reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean spreading continents dad jokes. There are also spreading puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why was the necrophiliac fired from the crematory?
He was caught spreading remains before they were cremated.
What do you get when the Pillsbury dough boys bend over?
Dough-nuts (South Park reference again; just spreading it).
So the 2017 World Chess Championships are being held in Iran. There's going to be some rule changes:
Queens won't be able to move without the king's permission, and bishops will face summary execution for spreading the word of the false prophet
Spreading a woman's legs is like spreading butter...
It can be done with a credit card, but I prefer to use a knife.
Two cows are grazing in a field.
One cow says "Hey, did you hear about the Mad Cow Disease? It's spreading pretty fast."
The other cow says "Yeah. Good thing I'm a helicopter."
Two cows are standing in a field in Canada in the year 2003.
One cow turns to the other and says, "we gotta watch out. I hear mad cow disease has been spreading through the herd." The other cow looks towards him and says, "what are telling me for? I'm not a cow, I'm a duck!"
Stop spreading the fake news that women are forced to wear hijabs.
It's their free choice between wearing them or getting s**... to death.
Muslims are spreading their religion to the roots of society
Textbook Radicle Islam.
Spreading girls's legs is alot like spreading butter
You can do it with a credit card, but it's much easier with a knife
I heard a rumour about butter...
Everyone's spreading it.
Spreading stuff on toast?
That's my jam.
This guy goes to a psychiatrist.
The doctor shows him an inkblot and asks him what it looks like.
"A n**... woman." He shows him another inkblot and asks him the same question.
"A n**... woman on a bed."
Yet another blot, "n**... woman spreading her cheeks." This continues for a while.
"You're a sick pervert!" the psychiatrist exclaims.
"I'm not the pervert. You keep showing me all these filthy pictures!"
I just got a lifetime ban for spreading my wife's remains around Disney World
Guess we should of had her cremated first
Man spreading is a lot like breastfeeding in public....
We're all just trying to take care of our kids.
s**... through the ear is a new trend
but now hearing aids are spreading
An old lady goes to the dentist,
She then begins taking off all her clothes and spreading her legs. The dentist says woahhhh I'm a dentist not a doctor, or a gynaecologist.! the woman replies yeah I know, I need my husbands teeth back.
My roommate is spreading rumours that I have multiple personality disorder.
Well, three can play that game!
What are the three quickest ways of spreading a rumour (or gossip).
Telegram
Telephone
Tell a woman
Perhaps not very politically correct in the times we live in, but worth a slight chuckle.
The best way to stop Covid-19 spreading...
Would be to post it in *new
I really hope Donald Trump wins this election
Best way to prevent COVID-19 spreading at the inauguration
The other day I saw an event a local church was having at a dispensary where they were giving away donuts and spreading the Word of God
They called it Glaze It, Blaze It, and Praise It
I have a joke about COVID
But I'm trying not to spreading it
Two years ago we'd never heard of gender reveal parties.
Now they're spreading like wildfire.
Thanksgiving will be extra special this year
Because people will be spreading diseases to each other, just like in the original.
My government is spreading obviously false covid-19 info about x-mas parties
Here in Sweden the government lies and says that we can have Christmas gatherings of up to 8 people without any problems. Such obvious bull! Who knows 8 people without any problems?
A New Strain Spreading Faster Than COVID
Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports.
Scientists warn that a virulent strain of humans are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving researchers at a loss as to how to combat them.
These humans appear to have all the faculties necessary to receive and process information, and yet, somehow, they have developed defenses that, for all intents and purposes, have rendered those faculties totally inactive."
I got knocked off my bike by a salt spreading truck last winter.
"You IDIOT" I shouted through gritted teeth.
A man was taken to court by several people for spreading scandalous rumors about their s**... lives
The judge asked the man, "Do you have anything to say in your defense?"
"Well your honor," responded the man. "I grew up on a very small land mass in the ocean and its just a part of our culture."
Not satisfied, the judge asked, "What culture could you possibly belong to that would lead you to besmirch these good people's reputations?"
The man shrugged and responded, "Islander."
(this just came to me)
Allergic reaction
I woke up with an allergic reaction spreading all over my body. Instinctively I thought to go straight to the doctor, but then I realized quickly that one should never make rash decisions!
Wife got COVID through me
She said "Finally after 15 years of marriage, you're spreading positivity".
Hagrid spreading Dumbledore's ashes into the winds.
"You're a blizzard Albus."
The World Health Organization has said Monkeypox is primarily spreading through s**....
So Redditors should be safe.
Flat-earthers have heard their theory is spreading around the globe
They don't believe it.
Why was Mr. Information sad?
Because everyone was spreading Ms. Information
I woke up with an allergic reaction spreading all over my body.
Instinctively I thought to go straight to the doctor, but then I realized quickly that one should never make rash decisions!
