The Best 57 Spray Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Spray jokes. There are some spray windex jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these spray sprinkle puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Spray Jokes and Puns

Did you hear about the man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

They say that he's a seasoned veteran.

TIL that 90% of the time black men cry during sex.…

Because of the pepper spray.

Why do black people have red eyes after sexual intercourse?

Because of the pepper spray.

Spray joke, Why do black people have red eyes after sexual intercourse?

I have a tendency to run around naked...

So every morning I spray myself with Windex, to prevent me from streaking.

I once knew a soldier who suffered through both mustard gas and pepper spray.

He was a seasoned veteran.


I went on a blind date the other day...

...it didn't start that way, but she brought pepper spray.

*Credit to America's Got Talent comedian (I don't remember his name)

I've been crying a lot recently

It's shocking how many girls carry pepper spray

Spray joke, I've been crying a lot recently

3 priests at lunch

So three priests are out to lunch.
One priest goes off about his problem with bats at his church,
"I've tried everything to get rid of them, they just won't leave."
The second priest relates to the first,
"I know! I've tried everything! Cats, spray, noise, light. They just won't go away."
The third priest says,
"Well, I baptized my bats; confirmed them and made them the newest members of my parish, haven't seen one since."

A guy has a wasps nest in his garage

He goes to the hardware store and finds a can of spray that says it's for hornets, so he finds an employee just to check if it'll work on wasps.

"Excuse me, is this spray good for wasps?"

"No sir, it kills them."

When I go in to kiss a girl, I always close my eyes.

Ive just learned from experience, if my eyes are open, more pepper spray gets in them.

Why is there so little Puerto Rican literature?

Because the spray paint can wasn't invented until 1949.

You can explore spray splatter reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean spray shitrus dad jokes. There are also spray puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I usually close my eyes when I kiss girls.

Not as much pepper spray gets in that way.

I often find myself crying during sex...

Probably from the pepper spray...

I don't use pepper spray when I'm being robbed

I just open my wallet and blow the dust into their eyes.

For some reason I always cry during sex.

I'm starting to think it might be the pepper spray.

I always cry before talking to attractive girls

Any tips against pepper spray?

Spray joke, I always cry before talking to attractive girls

A Texas man is on vacation in Europe..

As he walks along with a tour guide, they come across some graffiti where someone has spray painted 'Yankee go home!"

The tour guide flustered and a bit embarrassed, said 'sorry you had to see that'

The Texan said 'don't worry, where I'm from we don't like them either'

A swastika has been spray painted over Donald Trump's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame...

...Police say it's impossible to tell if the act was committed by Trump's opponents or supporters.

I always start crying uncontrollably whenever I am about to get intimate with a girl . . .

. . . Any good tips with dealing with pepper spray?


How does the Easter Bunny keep his ears standing straight up?

He uses Hare Spray...

(Ill see myself out)

Gay men make sure you're using protection

You know: body armor, pepper spray, concealed carry-hand gun, first-aid kit, maybe a flare gun too.

My eyes always hurt whenever I have sex

It's probably the pepper spray

After years in the Military

After years in the Military, the soldier survived mustard gas and pepper spray and was proud to finally be able to call himself a seasoned veteran.

A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. What type of veteran is he?

A seasoned veteran.

I just sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent.

Now he'll never have any friends.

A boy and his grandfather are playing outside...

A boy and his grandfather are playing outside. They see a worm come out of a hole.

"I bet you $5 you can't put the worm back in that hole," the grandfather said.

The boy gets a glint in his eye and runs into the house. He returns with a bottle of hairspray and proceeds to spray the worm until it is stiff, then he sticks it in the hole.

The grandpa, defeated, gives the boy $5 and takes the bottle of hairspray. He walks into the house and the boy keeps playing.

A while later, the grandfather returns outside and gives the boy $10.

"But grandpa, you already gave me the money for the bet," the boy told him.

"Yeah, I know. *That* money is from grandma."

I was having dinner at my girlfriend's house for the first time.

"Excuse me, I just need the toilet," I said, excusing myself from the table.

"Don't forget to spray the air freshener!" joked the dad.

I said, "No need. Cocaine doesn't smell."

Just tried to kill a roach with axe body spray...

...now his name is Brett and he won't shut up about cross-fit.

The military man survived mustard gas and pepper spray

He's a seasoned veteran

I used to cry during sex

but now pepper spray doesn't affect me

I knew a guy who survived mustard gas and pepper spray

He is now a seasoned veteran

Why do slugs carry pepper spray when they go out late at night?

To protect themselves from a salt

I just got arrested for buying bug spray at a store

Apparently you're not allowed to get Off in public

How do Welsh farmers practice safe sex?

Spray a red 'X' on the back of ones that kick.

How do skunks know who to spray and who not to spray?

Instink

Why does Bill Cosby cry during sex?

Pepper spray.

What do you call a fat woman who carries pepper spray?

Optimistic.

What does a priest put on salad?

Lettuce spray

A man walked into a hardware store and picked up a can of fly spray

"Is this good for wasps?" he asked the assistant.

"No, it kills them."

A soldier was hit by mustard gas in war, and then pepper spray by a police officer.

He's now a seasoned veteran.

What do you call a soldier that's survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran

I had a big wasps nest under the eve of my roof so I went to the hardware store to find some wasp spray. I found a can and asked a worker if this was good for wasps?

He says No, it kills them.

My Grandfather survived Pepper spray and Mustard gas attacks in two wars..

..and came to us a seasoned Veteran.

I got sprayed in the chest by a skunk so I had my tiny therapist wash my clothes for me.

My shrunk shrink stopped my shirt's skunk stink.

Baby Roach: "Papa, what happens if the humans spray us with Raid?"

Papa Roach: "Suffocation. No breathing."

Did you hear about the soldier who was attacked with mustard gas and pepper spray?

He was a seasoned veteran

A man walked into a hardware store and picked up a can of fly spray.

"Is this good for wasps?" he asks the assistant.

To which she replies "No, it kills them."

You hear about the soldier who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray?

He was a seasoned veteran.

A lady goes to the store to get a hair trimmer for her dog

..as she's browsing a clerk comes along and says "If you're using it on you're underarms, don't spray on deodorant for a few hours it will sting a lot." She says "No it's not for my underarms."

The clerk says "Well if you're doing your legs, don't wear pantyhose for a day, it can irritate your skin." She says "No it's not for my legs... if you must know, it's for my Schnauzer"

The clerk says "Ah, I see, in that case don't ride a bicycle for a week."

My Grandfather survived mustard gas and pepper spray attacks in the war.

We call him a seasoned veteran.

Just been talking to an old guy, ex-soldier.

He explained to me he had been exposed to mustard gas and pepper spray, it was nice chatting to a seasoned veteran.

Here goes

A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. He's now a seasoned veteran.

Do you know what my uncle got for surviving the mustard gas and pepper spray attacks?

He got the seasoned veteran award.

What do you call bukkake in an underground bunker?

What do you call bukkake in an underground bunker?

...

...

...

Prepper spray

A guy survived pepper spray and mustard gas

Now, he's a seasoned veteran

I accidentally got body spray in my mouth

Now when I talk, I have this weird axe scent.

I heard this story about a Papa Roach and a Mama Roach... the Mama Roach says, "What happens if you get sprayed with the Raid Roach Spray?"

SUFFOCATION.

NO BREATHING.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the spray aerosol jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working spray squirter piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes