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Spotted Jokes

103 spotted jokes and hilarious spotted puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about spotted that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh out loud with this collection of jokes about spotted animals like the owl and the hyena! See how different animals have a unique way of disappearing into the surroundings with the help of their spotted coat when they are nearby! Read this humorous article to find out the stories behind each joke and the scientific explanation of why animals have spots!

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Popular Spotted Short Jokes

Short spotted jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The spotted humour may include short spots jokes also.

  1. When a girl changes her clothes in front of you, she's either really interested or you're level 99 friend-zoned Or she hasn't spotted you in the tree yet
  2. Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot... The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
  3. I've been married to my wife for 20 years this week.. I've been married to my wife for 20 years this week and I've finally found the G spot..
    Turns out her sister had it all along.
  4. I was reversing my car in the garage and asked my son to spot me, and let me know when I hit the wall. I heard a bang. "3:45 PM", he said.
  5. I spotted my ex girlfriend on the other side of the museum hall, but I was too self-conscious to go say hello. There was just too much history between us.
  6. A man with dementia walks into a bar He spots a pretty lady, sits next to her and asks, "So, do I come here often?"
  7. Although Steve Irwin was known as the crocodile hunter ....he will always have soft spot in his heart for stingrays
  8. Love is like looking for a parking spot Everything good is taken and it's frowned upon to go into the handicapped ones.
  9. Perfect on the spot SFW joke What did the Zen Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor?
    Make me one with everything.
  10. A policeman spotted an elderly lady driving while knitting. "Pullover!" he screamed.
    "No, it's a scarf!" she yelled back.

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Spotted One Liners

Which spotted one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with spotted? I can suggest the ones about noticed and scattered.

  1. Why doesn't where's Waldo go to the gym Because no one can spot him
  2. Why does Waldo only wear striped shirts? He doesn't want to be spotted
  3. Why does Waldo wear stripes? He doesn't want to be spotted
  4. I spotted an albino Dalmatian yesterday. It was the least I could do for him.
  5. Found my wife's g spot lastnight! Turns out her sister had it the whole time!
  6. How can you spot the rank of a Russian? By the stripes on his Adidas jumpsuit.
  7. How do you spot a rich Ethiopian? By the Rolex around his waist.
  8. I saw a lizard and it became a spotted lizard
  9. Yesterday I spotted an albino Dalmatian it was the least i could do for the poor fella
  10. Why does waldo wear stripes? So he isn't spotted.
  11. Dog Joke I spotted an albino Dalmatian the other day. It was the least I could do.
  12. What's better than being able to use disabled parking spots? Legs
  13. How do you spot a blind man in a nudist colony? It's not hard.
  14. Why did Waldo wear a striped shirt? He didn't want to be spotted.
  15. Why are chess players good in bed? They can find up to 8 G spots for their queen.

Spotted Owl Jokes

Here is a list of funny spotted owl jokes and even better spotted owl puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • And then there was the male spotted owl who told his wife, "What do you mean you have a headache? We're an endangered species!"
  • There has been a new owl spotted in England... It's called the t**....

Spotted Attacker Jokes

Here is a list of funny spotted attacker jokes and even better spotted attacker puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Perry was busy building a defensive palisade around the Musketeer compound, but it was leaning over badly. Suddenly Porthos spots the enemy and yells 'Attack! Perry, REPOST!'
Spotted joke, Perry was busy building a defensive palisade around the Musketeer compound, but it was leaning over

Spotted Hyena Jokes

Here is a list of funny spotted hyena jokes and even better spotted hyena puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • There are three species of hyena in the wild But every time one is seen they become a spotted hyena
  • Why are there different species of hyena? Isn't every hyena we've discovered a spotted hyena?
Spotted joke, Why are there different species of hyena?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about spotted can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of spotted puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Quirky and Hilarious Spotted Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about spotted you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean spied jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make spotted prank.

A woman scanned the guests at a party...

A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him. 'My name is Carmen,' she told him.
'That's a beautiful name,' he replied, 'Is it a family name?'
'No,' she replied. 'I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most - cars and men. What's your name?', she asked.
The man replied, 'B. J. Titsengolf''

Wishes

A woman was walking on the beach when she spotted a lamp almost buried in the sand. She picked it up, dusted it off, and to her surprise a genie popped out.
"Thank you for releasing me from my thousand-year imprisonment! I will grant you the traditional three wishes as a reward. And since you are married, your husband will get double of whatever you wish for."
"But I hate my husband," the woman protested. "He cheated on me and spent all our money -- I've already filed for divorce."
The genie shrugged and told her it was genie law. "OK, whatever," she said, "Give me a hundred million dollars." *p**...!* There were stacks and stacks of newly minted $100 bills piled in front of her. "So, does that mean my husband has *two* hundred million now?"
"Yep," the genie said.
"OK... for my second wish, I want a 100,000 square foot mansion." *p**...!* There was a huge mansion right up on the bluff, and the deed was in her pocket. "So, does that mean my husband gets *two* mansions?"
"Yes indeed. Now, what would you like for your final wish?"
She thought about it for a minute, then snapped her fingers and said, "Genie -- scare me half to death!"

A very thirsty man was wandering the desert ...

... when suddenly he spotted a well. With the last of his strength, he neared himself, and started pulling the bucket upwards.
*Water! Water!* he shouted in anticipation
When suddenly, from the bottom of the well, a voice exclaimed
*Where?! Where?!*

Lourdes

A wheel-chair bound chap decided to visit the healing waters of Lourdes. It was very crowded but he spotted a gap and went for it at such a pace that he ended up in the pool, wheel-chair and all. When they fished him out he was quite disappointed to find that he was still unable to walk, but found consolation in the fact that his wheel chair had a brand new set of tires.

Jon was excited about his new rifle..

... and wanted to try it out, so he went bear hunting. He spotted a small black bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder and he turned round to see a larger black bear. The black bear said "You've got two choices, I either maul you to death or we have s**...." Jon decided to bend over. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Jon soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip, found the black bear, and shot it. Immediately, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a big brown bear stood right next to him. The brown bear said, "That was a huge mistake, Jon. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we'll have rough s**...." Again, Jon thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it was several months before Jon finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the brown bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned round to find a gigantic grizzly bear standing there. The grizzly bear said "Admit it, Jon, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?" 

Help! Has anyone seen my dalmatian?

It was last spotted all over.

Falklands veteran

A British officer spotted a busker in the London Underground with a sign that read: "VETERAN SOLDIER OF THE FALKLANDS WAR." The officer thought, "Poor chap, I was there and it was awful!" Feeling sorry for a fellow veteran, he took £20 out of his wallet and gave it to the busker. The officer was then greeted with a hearty: "Gracias, Señor!"

Tennessee Joke

Two guys are hunting in the woods one day and they get to arguing about a set of tracks they had spotted, "Them is deer tracks," one says. The other, "No them's bear tracks!" Back and forth for about an hour... Then they get hit by the train.

This is a very old joke that I'm sure most people have heard.

One day George W. Bush was walking through Washington when he spotted a boy selling week old "Republican Puppies", delighted he resolved to come back with reporters in a few weeks for his campaign. When he came back the boy was now selling "Democratic Puppies". Disgruntled he asked why and the boy said,
"They used to be Republican Puppies, but now they've opened their eyes."

Why do tigers always beat cheetahs at hide-and-seek?

They've never been spotted.

A woman asks her husband what type of bird makes for the sexiest Halloween costume

"Should I be a spotted b**...?", asks the woman.
"Or what about a spread pink Flamingo?" "...Neither" replies the man. "If you really want men to like you, you need to be some sort of s**...."

Why do tigers have stripes?

They don't want to be spotted.

Did you hear about the missing dalmatian?

It's been spotted.

Why can't leopards hide?

Because they are always spotted!

A leopard tried to sneak out of his enclosure by pretending to be a zebra.

But he was spotted.

Two guys got lost in the Egyptian desert

Both christians, one named John and the other named Thomas. They were starving and about to collapse when they spotted a Mosque, They rushed there for help. The Imam came out and asked for their names, John came up with 'Abdullah' in a panic and Thomas just said his name. The Imam hastily told the patrons to give Thomas food and water. While John had to wait and finish his fast.

A man got lost on a camping trip

A man got lost on a camping trip. Rescuers scoured the wilderness until a medical emergency team finally spotted a solitary figure across a wide chasm.
Charlie Smith, someone shouted, is that you?
Yes, it is, came the reply. Who are you?
We're from the Red Cross.
I gave at the office! Charlie shouted back.

I've spotted six Pokémon today

but I don't have the game so I may need new meds...

I walked into a singles bar and spotted a gorgeous female at the bar. "Would you like to play on my twenty foot o**...?" I asked her.

She coyly replied "Sure let's go".
You should have seen the look on her face when I brought her to my church and asked her to accept Jesus into her heart.

I lost my watch at a party.

After some intensive searching through the crowd, I spotted it lying on the floor. There was a guy standing on it. When I looked up, I saw the guy harassing a girl, touching her at all the wrong places. She obviously didn't approve. So I walked over there and punched this guy in the face. Nobody treats girls like that. Not on my watch.

I had heard the rumors of clowns being spotted all over the country...

But I honestly didn't believe it until I saw them debate each other on TV.

Why don't ladybugs play hide and seek?

They always get spotted!

An elephant was drinking out of the river one day...

When he spotted a turtle lying fast asleep on a log.
The elephant walked over and kicked the unsuspecting turtle clear across the river.
A passing giraffe who happened to see this happen asked the elephant, "Why did you do that?"
The elephant replied, "Because I recognized it as the same turtle that bit my trunk 38 years ago."
The giraffe said, "Wow, what a memory you've got!"
"Yes," said the elephant, proudly. "Turtle recall."

Why does Waldo from the "Where's Waldo" books wear stripes?

Because he doesnt wan't to be spotted

Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, Charles decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.

Going to a singles bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away. "I'm just an ordinary man" he said, walking up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die and I'll inherit 20 million dollars." The woman went home with Charles, and the next day she became his stepmother.

Curiosity

I walk past a mental Asylum every day and yesterday as I neared I could hear them chanting "Seven..Seven..Seven." This continued as I walked along the wooden fence and I found myself looking for a gap to see what was going on. About 100m down the fence i spotted a hole where the knot had fallen out and hurried towards it. I jammed my eye up to the hole, rather excited to see the ruckus and a finger sprung out and jabbed me in th eye. "Eight..eight..eight."

Why can't Dalmatians hide?

Because they're always spotted!

A zookeeper spotted a visitor throwing $10 bills into the elephant exhibit…

Why are you doing that? asked the keeper.
The sign says it's okay, replied the visitor.
No, it doesn't.
Yes, it does. It says, 'Do not feed. $10 fine.'

One day little Johnny was digging a hole in his back yard.

The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate.
"Hello Johnny, what are you up to?" he asked.
"My goldfish died and I'm gonna bury him," Johnny replied.
"That's a really big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" asked the neighbor.
"That's because he's inside your cat!"

Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank?

He ran away so fast that he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.

I was out duck hunting with Olivia Wilde.

After a while, Olivia spotted a massive duck in the distance and insisted that I hunt it down.
I started to follow it, through bushes and brambles, woods and fields, over hills and through valleys, until finally, I caught up with it. The huge duck turned in my direction, honked and started running after me...
It was at that moment I realised, I wasn't pursuing a duck for Olivia, I was on a Wilde goose chase.

I reckon there were actually 102 dalmatians.

But the other one was never spotted.

A man was spotted n**... walking through town...

The police showed up and began to question him.
Sir, why are you walking through town n**... like that?!
He replies
Well I was at the beach with my wife.
Alright... continue the other officer says
He then says
She asked me if I wanted to get n**... and go to town, and I said OK!

a man was in his car when he spotted a p**..., he asked her the cost of a h**..., she replied, "10$, wanna get one?"

He said, "Nah, I just wanted to know how much I save if I do it myself."

Why does Waldo wear stripes ?

Because he doesn't want to be spotted

A zookeeper spotted a visitor throwing $10 bills into the elephant exhibit...

"Why are you doing that?" asked the keeper.
"The sign says it's okay," replied the visitor.
"No, it doesn't."
"Yes, it does. It says, 'Do not feed. $10 fine.'"

Mark and his wife were driving along a country road.

They weren't speaking to each other due to an earlier argument. As they passed a particularly rural stretch, they spotted a couple of monkeys in the treetops. "Relatives of yours?", asked Mark sarcastically.
"Yes," she replied. "My in-laws."

A man and his wife went fishing one day. As they were fishing, they spotted the Coast Guard coming towards them.

Wife: "Honey, we caught four fish, and we are only allowed three, so lets throw one back into the sea."
Husband: "Are you mad, woman, that's our food for tonight. Take one fish and hide it in your p**...."
wife: "And what about the smell???"
Husband: "Just block the fish's nose!...."

Today I spotted an albino Dalmatian...

It was the least I could do.

I was driving to work yesterday, when I spotted Usain Bolt on the sidewalk. I rolled the window down and offered him a lift.

He said 'No thanks, I'm in a rush.'

A young blonde, on vacation in Louisiana, wanted a pair of alligator shoes...

but was reluctant to pay high New Orleans prices.
She stomped out of the store and headed for the swamp.
Later, as the shopkeeper drove home, he spotted the blonde standing waist-deep in a bayou, shotgun in hand, with a huge alligator closing in.
She took aim and shot the creature between the eyes.
The shopkeeper watched in amazement as she struggled to haul the carcass onto an embankment where several other dead alligators were lined up.
Oh, no! the blonde shouted in dismay.
This one isn't wearing any shoes either!

Matthew McConaughey was spotted during the Capital Hill protests

When asked to comment what he saw he simply said,
Alt Right, Alt Right, Alt Right

BREAKING NEWS: Missing Child Spotted With Pied Piper Of Hamelin

More to follow

I lost track of our Dalmation Puppy

Luckily, she was spotted

Why are leopards so bad at hiding?

No matter where they hide, they're always spotted

Why was the cheetah so bad at hide and seek ?

No matter where she hid, she was always spotted.

Why did Waldo always wear stripes?

He hated being spotted.

Gary and Pete, 2 alcoholics, were lost at sea.

While floating in their small boat, they spotted a bottle on the water.
Gary quickly grabbed the bottle and took out the cork.
To his shock, a genie flew out.
"You have freed me. You may have a wish."
Gary thought hard and pointed at the sea.
"Turn all this water into Guiness."
There was a flash and the genie was gone, leaving a frothy sea of Guinness.
"why would you do that?!" complained Pete.
"What, you don't want beer?" asked Gary.
Pete shook his head and sighed.
"Now we'll have to p**... in the boat."

An English farmer was walking through his field

He spotted a intruder crouched down by his pond. As he approached he realised the man was drinking pond water, cupping his hands.
"Oy ye dinnae wanna drink from there. It be full of hoss an' muck!" shouted the farmer.
The man looked up, startled. "Pardon monsieur but i am french. I am not understand well, please speak slow."
The farmer replied slowly and clearly "I said would you like a cup, you can drink faster that way."

I spotted an albino Dalmatian yesterday

He was not very appreciative of it though

Man at the bus stop with a penguin

There was a policeman driving down the road and he spotted a man standing at the bus stop with a penguin.
The policeman stopped and said Excuse me sir, is this your penguin?
The man says No it's not my penguin so the policeman says Well can you take it to the zoo then.
The next day the same policeman is driving down the same road and sees the same man stood at the same bus stop with the same penguin.
He pulls over and says Oi, I thought I told you to take this penguin to the zoo!
The man says Yeah I did, but today we're going to the seaside.

I woke up one night to someone knocking on my front door.

I felt uneasy, but I went and answered it anyway. When I opened the door, I looked around, and then spotted a shellfish on my welcome mat.
"Let me in", it cried, "I'm being chased by a bunch of wasps."
That was when I realized why I felt so uneasy.
This was the clam before the swarm.

The other day I spotted an albino dalmatian

Least I could do for it

On a tour of some really remote islands...

A cruise ship passed by an archipelago. A sharp-eyed passenger spotted a ragged figure by a campfire who jumped up and started waving his arms wildly.
"Captain!" said the passenger, "I see someone over there....who is that?"
"I'm not sure," replied the captain, "but he goes nuts every year we pass by here..."

What did the explorer say when he spotted Antarctica?

I see land.

I was desperate for a p**... at the pool....

I was at the swimming pool last week, and you know when you're absolutely bursting for a p**... but the toilets are way over there?
I thought: "weeelllll..... everyone else does it..."
So I decided just to let one slip out in the pool.
The lifeguard must have spotted me though. He shouted at me so loud I nearly fell off the diving board.

I've just spotted the new Batman shampoo for sale.

Although I feel they're missing a real opportunity by not producing a conditioner Gordon.

Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Yesterday I spotted a albino Dalmatian

Thought it would be the least I could do

I spotted an albino dalmatian the other day.

It's the least I could do for the little guy.

You know why a leopard are bad at hiding?

Because they're always spotted.

Why are leopards so horrible at hide and seek?

Because they're always spotted.

Missfortune

When Bob found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man" he said as he walked up to her "but in just a week or two my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening.
Three days later, she became his stepmother.

What did the goose say to his wife and kids when he spotted a hunter?

Let's get the flock out of here!

Today in my biology lesson, my teacher told us that all big cats hunted by hiding, except leapords.

When I asked her why, she said, "Well, because they're always spotted."

Horseback riding gone wrong

Last weekend my daughters and I were going to the grocery store but on the way I spotted a chance to go horseback riding and couldn't pass it up. So I got on the horse and immediately it started trying to buck me off. I'm desperately yelling for help and flailing around but all the people passing by just looked at me funny while even my kids just looked away. I'm scared and I'm hitting the ground and just when I was thinking that I might die this gentleman wearing a Walmart vest stopped pushing carts, unplugged the horse, and saved my life

My wife and I were driving home late last night.

We spotted a s**... dressed young lady standing somewhat unsteadily at the corner. My wife remarked, "she looks high as s**...!"
"Oh, I don't know," I replied, "Fifty dollars doesn't seem that high to me."
My arm is still sore where she punched me.

I just spotted an albino dalmation.

He seemed happy to look normal afterward.

A personal injury lawyer was on vacation in a small rural town. While walking through the streets, he spotted a car that had just been involved in an accident. As expected, a large crowd gathered

Going by instinct, the attorney was eager to get to the injured, but he couldn't get near the car. Being very clever, he started shouting loudly, Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim. The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey. 

A police officer spotted an elderly lady knitting whilst driving

"Pullover", he exclaimed.
"No, it's a scarf", she replied.

Animals in the jungle played hide and seek, and always…

the leopard was spotted!

Spotted joke, Animals in the jungle played hide and seek, and always…

jokes about spotted

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these spotted jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.