Sports Day Jokes
34 sports day jokes and hilarious sports day puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sports day that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Sports Day Short Jokes
Short sports day jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sports day humour may include short sporting event jokes also.
- Oh hey, Larry's sporting bling in his ears Joe: When did you start wearing earrings?
Larry: Since the day my wife found them in my car. - After spending twenty two years surrounded by criminals, I finally saw the light of day again. I'm so glad I left my job at the sporting organisation.
- There should be a female only sport in the Olympics called Conclusions. Women jump to them every day.
- When I get a dog I'm going to name him five miles so I can say I walk five miles every day.
- One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
- My dad had the worst temper when he watched sports. One day it got so bad he ripped off his shirt and began shouting racial slurs... Really ruined my little league game.
- I went to a sports day in Japan today. I t was quite enjoyable but I must say the egg and chopstick race was a challenge.
- I work out almost every day. Friday I almost worked out, Saturday I almost worked out, Sunday I almost worked out...
- I was at a climbing center the other day, but someone had stolen all the grips from the wall; honestly, you couldn't make it up.
- Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
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Sports Day One Liners
Which sports day one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sports day? I can suggest the ones about sports team and training day.
- How much are the Harry Potter sports day tickets? About a quid-each
- Every day two million Americans play tennis and one million of them lose.
- Q: Why did the bodybuilder cross the road?
A: He didn't. There's no walking on leg day. - Every day I spend a few hours on a running track. Next week I might even turn it on.
- Once Chuck Norris swam all the oceans for 7 days and oceans got cold.
- What's the favourite sports event of the Israeli army? The six day league
Sports Day Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about sports day you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean football match jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sports day pranks.
I saw a billboard the other day for a sports team called the Chicago Fire.
it made me wonder just how long it takes before you can name a team after a tragedy.
it'd be like naming a football team "the New York Jets."
A genie gives a man three wishes...
One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp.
Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However, because of what you did, I will also give twice what you wish for to the person you hate the most: your boss."
So the man agreed and made his first wish. "I want lots of money", he said. Instantly 22 million dollars appeared in the man's bank account and 44 million appeared in his boss' account.
For his second wish, the man wished for a couple of sports cars. Instantly a Lamborghini, Ferrari and Porsche appeared. At the same time two of each car appeared outside of his boss' house.
Finally the genie said, "This is your last wish, you should choose carefully," and to this the man replied, "I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."
A boss calls a meeting to discuss employees taking sick days when they aren't sick.
He had suspected that this had been happening, but he finally had his proof. He held up a copy of the newspaper, and in the sports section, there was an article about an employee, who had supposedly been sick, winning a golf tournament.
Wow said someone in the back. Imagine the score he could've gotten if he wasn't sick
Carolyn, a rich blonde, buys a new automatic Jaguar XKR Sport. She drives the car perfectly well during the day, but at night, it just won't move at all. After trying to drive at night for a week, with no luck, she furiously calls the dealers and they send out a technician to help...
He examines the car and finds nothing wrong with it, so he asks, "Ma'am, are you sure you are using the right gears?"
Full of anger, she growls, "How on earth you could ask such a question!? I'm not s**... you know! Of course I am using the right gears; I use D during the day and N at night."
A sports joke that can be changed to whatever your favorite sport rivalry is.
On the first day of school, a teacher tells her students that she is a Chargers fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are a Chargers fan, too. Everyone in the class raised their hand except one little girl. The little girl said "I am a Raiders fan".
The teacher asked why she is a Raiders fan. She responded by saying "My mom and dad are Raiders fans". "Well," said the teacher, "what if your mom and dad are idiots, then what would you be?". The little girl smiled and said, "then I'd be a Chargers fan."
Speeding Ticket
A cop was waiting in a speed trap on the interstate when a guy in a sport car came racing by him at over a 100 mph. The cop immediately pulls out behind the speedster and turns on his lights. The guy pulls over and the cop walks over to the window. The cop looks at the guy smiling and says I've been waiting for someone like you all day. The guy responses well I came as fast as I could.
A rich Arab kid goes to Portugal to study
A rich Arab kid goes to Portugal to study so his old man buys him a sports car to drive around. A few days pass and the father calls the son.
\- Hows it going son? Having fun with your car?
\- No father. I am ashamed, everyone here gets around by train.
\- Dont embarrass me son. Buy yourself a train too.
Sports Day
It's sports day at a school for "special" kids. During the egg and spoon race, little Johnny falls and hurts himself badly.
One of the teachers freaks out and yells "call Johnny an ambulance, call Johnny an ambulance!"
All the kids immediately start pointing at Johnny and laughing saying "Johnny is an ambulance- Johnny is an ambulance!"
A man filled his a mine cart with fresh ore and pushed it out of the cave
After a long day of work, he decided to play some sports with his friends. There was an accident, which caused the man to die.
This shows that miner errors can have huge consequences.
My first Dad joke and on Father's Day.....Son and Dad talking about sports.
Son-I like commentators. Dad-I like all taters.
A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge on the tenth floor of a skyscraper.
The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late.
"Where were you? I was worried sick."
"It was such nice day, I decided to walk."
So a snail goes to a car dealership
and requests the fastest sports car the dealer has to offer. The car dealer points him to a brand new red race car, fastest in the market. The snail is ecstatic and buys it, telling the car dealer he'll be back tomorrow to pick it up.
"But before I do pick it up," says the snail, "I'd like a big 'S' painted on each side!"
The car dealer obliges, paints a big 'S' on each side of the car, and waits until the next day for the snail to return. Well, the snail returns, hops into his car, and speeds off through the wall into the oncoming traffic, driving off. The car dealer's boss runs up to the car dealer and exclaims,
"Wow! Look at that S car go!"
The day my dog died
When I was about four years old my brother had an old beater of a sports car, and one day he and my dad were draining the gas tank before they do more work. So they drain the gas into a bucket and then go inside for beer. My dog Hershey's t**... on up to the bucket and takes a nice long drink.. And then he began to run laps around our house, faster and faster until my dad came out to see all the commotion. Just as he got out Hershey's falls down on to his back and is still.
My dad frantically asked me What happened is the dog okay?!
I laughed and said Yeah he's fine, he just ran out of gas.