Sporting Jokes
65 sporting jokes and hilarious sporting puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sporting that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh the night away with these hilarious Aussie sporting jokes! Whether it's the silk of cricket, the brutality of rugby, the energy of esports, or the oversized-ness of AFL, there's something for everyone in our selection of hilarious jokes.
Funniest Sporting Short Jokes
Short sporting jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sporting humour may include short athletic jokes also.
- It's a good thing our favorite sports drink was invented at University of Florida… If it was developed at Florida State University, Gatorade might have been called Seminole Fluid instead.
- If laziness was an Olympic sport. I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.
- Husband: "Waiter, my wife spilled her water". Waiter: "No problem, I'll get you another one".
Husband: "Make sure the next one likes sports". - If laziness was an Olympic sport I would've placed 4th so I wouldn't have to climb the winners' stairs
- If having low confidence and low self-esteem was an Olympic sport... I would probably get bronze.
- If laziness was an olympic sport... I'd do my best to come in fourth, so I didn't have to climb onto the podium.
- Oh hey, Larry's sporting bling in his ears Joe: When did you start wearing earrings?
Larry: Since the day my wife found them in my car. - There is only one sport in which I can get a high score. It's golf.
- Why don't any American football players wear glasses? Because it is a contact sport!
- What's Mexico's national sport? Cross-country
Share These Sporting Jokes With Friends
Sporting One Liners
Which sporting one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sporting? I can suggest the ones about sports and hunting.
- Why isn't suntanning an Olympic sport? Because the best you can get is bronze.
- Why are Canadians so good at sports? They always bring their eh game
- Why did man invent curling? To convince women sweeping was a sport.
- Women's hockey is the most dangerous sport... Twelve women, three periods each.
- What is a Mexicans favorite high school sport? Cross country
- What's Sarah Palins favorite water sport? Parah Salin.
- What's the Al-Qaeda's favourite sports team? The New York Jets ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
- What's a Philosophers favourite sport? Discuss
- if at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is *probably* not the sport for you
- EA Sports™ - It's in the game. jk its in the dlc
- What was Viktor Frankenstein's favorite sport? Body building.
- What's the easiest sport to get into? Limbo. They don't set the bar very high.
- What is Mexico's favorite sport? Cross-country
- The Winter Olympics. Letting white people win at sports no one else can afford to learn.
- What is Donald Trump's favorite sports team? The Dodgers
Sporting Event Jokes
Here is a list of funny sporting event jokes and even better sporting event puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why is it so hard to watch a sporting event at Warsaw Stadium? Because no matter what seat you're in, you're sitting behind a Pole.
- What do you call a average potato that narrates sporting events? A common-tater
- With so many sporting events being delayed or cancelled, one sports TV outlet decided to televise the 'World Origami Championships' It's on paperview
- It's significantly harder for athletes to perform in todays temperatures I've read in the newspaper that the Government has forbidden fans at sport events
- Why does Gordon Ramsey never bet on any sports events? Because he never likes the steakes.
- Someone at a sports event says In all of my years as a spud, I have never seen a play as amazing as that one . Who was that someone? The common tater
- I don't care about Euro2016 I don't care about Euro2016, because last time I cared about big sport event Voldemort returned and Cedric Diggory died
- What's a communists favourite sporting event? Commonwealth Games
- The Japanese aren't the only ones to clean up after a sporting event. The Warriors, for example, just swept the Cavs.
- Electrons treat their religion like a sporting event Every time they hold mass, they do the wave
Charming Humor Sporting Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about sporting you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean carrying jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sporting pranks.
What does nascar stand for?
Non-athletic-sport-centered-around-r**...
Mr Snail was always being teased by the insects
for being so slow. Eventually, he just couldn't take it anymore and went to the nearest car dealership.
"I want the fastest sports car you have," he told the salesman, "and make sure to paint a huge 'S' on it, so everyone will know its Mr Snail's car!"
So now, every time Mr Snail drives past the insects, speeding like a maniac, all the insects look and say: "Wow, look at that 'S' car go!"
Why did the lesbian go to Sports Authority?
because she didn't like d**....
Why do l**... prefer going to Sports Authority?
They don't like d**......
So the Bears were looking for a new quarterback.
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you", the old Muslim woman says."You are not my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get r**...!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!
They're giving away Marshawn l**... jerseys at my local sports shop.
But I think I'll pass
I saw a billboard the other day for a sports team called the Chicago Fire.
it made me wonder just how long it takes before you can name a team after a tragedy.
it'd be like naming a football team "the New York Jets."
Why do l**... shop at Sports Authority..
Because they hate d**...'s
TIL After Nigeria was unable to win any medals in this year's Olympics, the Nigerian Sports Minister personally offered to refund all the expenses of fans that traveled to Brazil.
He said he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transaction.
Two Blondes....
Two blondes are walking down a road, one has a large sports bag.
1st blonde: "What have you got in that bag?"
2nd blonde: "Chickens."
1st blonde: "If I can guess how many chickens you've got in that bag, can I have one of them?"
2nd blonde: "If you can guess how many chickens I've got in this bag, you can have BOTH of them!!"
1st blonde: "Well, I think you've got three."
A man walks into a bar sporting the worst haircut you've ever seen...
"Give me two shots of Jack Daniels," he says to the bartender. "One for me, and one for you."
"You know I don't drink on the job," the bartender says, pouring the man a shot.
Downing the drink, the man replies, "And that's why I like you better than my barber."
3 farmers.
3 farmers were sitting at the local cafe drinking coffee. The subject of the lottery and what they would do if they won came up.
"I think I would take some time off and go on a cruise. I've always wanted to go on a cruise." Said the first farmer.
"First thing I would do is buy a fancy sports car. I've always wanted a fast car." said the second farmer.
The third farmer was sitting quietly, fidgeting a little. "Come on, what would you do with your millions?" Asked the other two farmers.
Reluctantly the third farmer answered "I reckon I would just go on farming like I have been until the money runs out"
Sport b**...
At age 25 men play basketball
At age 40 men play tennis
At age 60 men play golf
The moral of the story is the older you get the smaller your b**... get
A man woke up at 5:55 AM.
He opened the front door to get his morning paper and found a nickel next to it.
He opened the paper to the sports section, and noticed that the fifth horse in the fifth race was named Nickel.
He went to the track and put $555 on the fifth horse in the fifth race…
...and watched him finish fifth.
Did you know that University of Florida was not the first school to invent a hydrating sports drink with Gatorade?
Turns out Florida State couldn't make the marketing work for Seminole Fluid.
Did you hear that sports are no longer allowed to keep score in Afghanistan?
It's a tally ban
What's a frog's favorite springtime sport? Lily-pad-leboarding!
