Sporting Event Jokes
32 sporting event jokes and hilarious sporting event puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sporting event that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Sporting Event Short Jokes
Short sporting event jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sporting event humour may include short sporting jokes also.
- Why is it so hard to watch a sporting event at Warsaw Stadium? Because no matter what seat you're in, you're sitting behind a Pole.
- With so many sporting events being delayed or cancelled, one sports TV outlet decided to televise the 'World Origami Championships' It's on paperview
- It's significantly harder for athletes to perform in todays temperatures I've read in the newspaper that the Government has forbidden fans at sport events
- Why does Gordon Ramsey never bet on any sports events? Because he never likes the steakes.
- Someone at a sports event says In all of my years as a spud, I have never seen a play as amazing as that one . Who was that someone? The common tater
- I don't care about Euro2016 I don't care about Euro2016, because last time I cared about big sport event Voldemort returned and Cedric Diggory died
- The Japanese aren't the only ones to clean up after a sporting event. The Warriors, for example, just swept the Cavs.
- Electrons treat their religion like a sporting event Every time they hold mass, they do the wave
- They should spray Windex on spectators at sporting events Doesn't stop them being rowdy but it will stop them streaking
- Why do they only show cute skinny women on tv sporting events? Because they don't have any wide angle lens.
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Sporting Event One Liners
Which sporting event one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sporting event? I can suggest the ones about sports day and football match.
- What do you call a average potato that narrates sporting events? A common-tater
- What's a communists favourite sporting event? Commonwealth Games
- What does a priest bring to a sporting event? Penance
- What is the most watched sporting event at the Vatican? Little league World Series
- What is a melodramatic person's favorite sport event? The Hyperbole
- What's the favourite sports event of the Israeli army? The six day league
- I s**... at sports events It's a good way to make a quick buck.
- What sporting event do s**... b**... attend? The Masters because there are 72 holes.
Hilarious Sporting Event Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about sporting event you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean soccer match jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sporting event pranks.
So the Bears were looking for a new quarterback.
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you", the old Muslim woman says."You are not my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get r**...!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!
2020 Mens Olympics New Sport
They should add edging into the men's olympics in 2020. It would be the only event in which you'd actually want to come last.
I've always wanted a job estimating crowd sizes in sporting events.
I wonder how many people are in that field.
Did you hear they banned fans from doing "
The Wave" at all sports events? Too many blondes were drowning.
a soldier finds himself outside after night fall
A soldier finds himself outside his base of operations in a foreign country after night fall. He managed to find himself back at the main gate of entry but was unable to produce any physical evidence that he was in fact born and raised in the USA. The guard at the gate was not allowed to let anyone in who wasn't a citizen of the United States. The solider suggested that the guard ask him a few questions to prove in nationally. The guard then replied, "OK, sing the national anthem." The solider then sang the national anthem just as he has heard it at countless sporting events and county fairs. When he finished the guard said, "OK, now sing the second verse." The solider yelled, "I don't know the second verse!" to which the guard said,"you're obviously American, c'mon in."
An Unlikely Friendship
John is driving north on a highway after a sporting event when he comes to a single lane bridge. He checks the road and begins to cross the river, only to be hit head-on from the oncoming direction. The two cars are completely mangled, but the two drivers are completely fine. John notices that the man who hit him is wearing a jersey from a rival sports team.
The man who caused the accident said, "Hey man, sorry about your car... And even though we represent different teams, I think this is a sign that we should put our differences beside us."
John replies, "I think you're right." He goes and checks his trunk and remarkably pulls out an undamaged bottle of Jack Daniels. "Amazing! How about a drink to celebrate our new friendship?"
The driver agrees and takes a few swigs of the whiskey. He passes the bottle back to John who promptly throws the bottle over the bridge and into the river below. "Oi! What did you do that for? Weren't you going to have some for yourself? What about our new friendship?"
John smirks. "Tell that to the cops when they show up."