Spoon Jokes
135 spoon jokes and hilarious spoon puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about spoon that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Why not put a spoonful of laughter into your day? Read our collection of the best spoon jokes sure to give you a chuckle. From jokes involving wooden spoons to silver spoons and even forks and spoons, our funny spoon jokes are sure to entertain the whole family. Get ready to laugh at our funny, punny jokes about utensils.
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Funniest Spoon Short Jokes
Short spoon jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The spoon humour may include short spear jokes also.
- Patient says, "Doctor I have pain in my eye whenever I drink tea" Doctor says, "Take the spoon out of your mug"
- Why did the spoon come to the party dressed as a knife? The invitation said to look sharp.
- Rich people are born with a silver spoon in their mouth. But polite french people are born with a s'il vous plaît
- "Doctor, Every time I drink coffee I get pain in my eye." "Take the spoon out of your cup."
- A Halloween Limerick A lady vampire named Mable
Had a period that was awfully stable.
So once a full moon
She took out her spoon
And drank herself under the table. - When i was young my mom used to put food on the spoon.. and sing "train is coming, train is coming"... I'd always eat cause i knew if i didn't, she wouldn't untie me from the railway line.
- I used to get sharp pains in my eye when I drank coffee... My doctor said, take the spoon out of the mug
- They say you can choke on a tea-spoon of water, so I thought I'd test it out... The water went down fine, but the spoon nearly killed me.
- Dear Fork, Dear Fork,
I know we haven't spoken since I ran away with Dish, but I thought you should know you have a son. His name is Spork. He has your hair.
Sincerely,
Spoon - Every time I drank coffee I got a sharp pain in my eye. I went to the doctor He said take the spoon out if the cup!
Share These Spoon Jokes With Friends
Spoon One Liners
Which spoon one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with spoon? I can suggest the ones about shovel and scoop.
- Why didn't Neo ever cuddle Trinity from behind in bed? Because there is no spoon.
- Which celebrity is always ready for cereal? Reese, with her spoon
- People ask me why I don't like spoons. Idk why really. They just seem pointless to me.
- Why couldn't Neo eat his Ice cream? Because there is no spoon.
- What should you do if drinking coffee hurts your eyes? Take the spoon out of the cup.
- What did the spoon dress up as to the Halloween party? A cereal killer.
- Why do spoons live such diverse lives? They like to mix it up.
- I was spooning my girlfriend the other night... guess that makes us a pair of cuddelery.
- My friend stirs soup with his left hand. But I stir soup with a spoon.
- Why did the spoon agree with the knife? Because the knife actually had a point.
- What happens when a fork and a spoon get into a fight? Civilwar!
- If you leave a spoon alone in a drink for too long It gets stir crazy
- Once a man named his cats Spoon, Fork and Knife They were his Catlery
- What do you call an orangutan holding a spoon? I don't know I was asking you
- My wife is very insistent on spooning in bed? But forking is apparently off the table
Fork And Spoon Jokes
Here is a list of funny fork and spoon jokes and even better fork and spoon puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I told my Kentucky raised girlfriend her family tree doesn't fork... ...it spoons.
She did not find it humorous - Two utensils are laying in bed... One turns to the other and says "wanna spoon?"
The other replied, "no, I'd rather fork." - What does a spoon hate to see when driving? A fork in the road
- When do people like spooning? After they are finished forking
- Developers don't spoon their SO They fork them.
- Why did Neo have to eat his cereal with a fork? Cos there is no spoon
- Spooning leads to forking But if you fork the wrong dish, you could get knifed.
- Utensils Guy 1: "Hey, did you hear that Joe got knifed the other day?"
Guy 2: "That's forked up!"
Guy 1: *glares at Guy 2*
Guy 2: "What? Too spoon?* - I like to tease my friend Luke One time I gave him 2 forks when he asked for a spoon to have his cereal with. He said "Can I have a spoon?" I said "Luke, use the forks".
- what do you say when you're out of spoons? fork it.
Little Spoon Jokes
Here is a list of funny little spoon jokes and even better little spoon puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was waitering the other day and a nice old man asked me for a little spoon so I gently lay him down and hugged him from behind
- Drinking coffee used to make my eyes hurt a little. Then I learned you're supposed to remove the spoon from the mug first.
- When my wife wants to cuddle in bed, I make her play the big spoon.. That way when she farts, she farts away from me. She's like my little jet pack.
- What does little spoon says to big spoon? What soup?
- Do you prefer big spoon or little spoon? I prefer big spoon so I can get more ice cream per scoop as I cry to myself alone.
- Spooning with the GF this morning... and she says to me, "Am I the little spoon?"
I said "No, you're more like the cake tin."
Didn't go down well. - What did the big spoon say to the little spoon? Wait, are your parents home?
- What did the big spoon say to the little fork? You are so tiney!
- My little girl loves helping me when I'm doing the cooking, because I always let her lick the spoon. The sooner she's old enough to buy her own h**..., the better.
- Shopping for a new mattress and the salesperson s**... What kind of salesman refuses to be the little spoon?
Big Spoon Jokes
Here is a list of funny big spoon jokes and even better big spoon puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you here about the latest new thing to serve salad? It's just a big fork 'n' spoon!
- Mummy mummy can I have a spoon Jimmys been sick and johnnys eaten all the big bits
Silver Spoon Jokes
Here is a list of funny silver spoon jokes and even better silver spoon puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My cousin was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Unfortunately, she died from asphyxiation almost immediately.
- I was not born with a silver spoon. If I was, how did it get inside?
- I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth It took the surgeons eight hours to remove
Delightful Fun Spoon Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about spoon you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean saucer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make spoon pranks.
A question for your doctor
During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"
"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup.."
"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
A man goes to the doctor...
And says 'doctor doctor! You gotta help me! Every time I have tea I get a sharp pain in my eye!'
The doctor looks at him. 'The next time you have tea,' he says, 'take the spoon out of the cup first.'
A German, an American, and a Russian are arguing who can feed a spoonful of mustard to a cat more easily...
The German just grabs the cat and forces the spoon with mustard into its mouth. The other two protest: "This is violence!"
The American hides the mustard between two slices of sausage. The other two protest: "This is deception!"
The Russian spreads the mustard under the cat's tail. The cat starts furiously l**... it off, meowing loudly. "See - he does it voluntarily and with songs!"
Lose 7 pounds in 3 days with this one weird trick!
Step 1. Purchase mayonnaise.
Step 2. Leave mayonnaise in the sun for 5 hours. Let it really bake.
Step 3. Eat a couple spoon fulls of the mayo.
Step 4. Lose AT LEAST 7 pounds over the next 3 days!
Taste the soup
A guy eating in a restaurant calls the waiter.
-Please taste the soup.
The confused waiter asks:
-Is the soup too hot?
-Just taste the soup...
-Is the soup too cold?
-Taste the soup.
-Is there a fly in the soup?
-Taste the soup!
The waiter, tired of guessing, gives up.
-Alright, alright, I'll taste the soup. Where's the spoon?
-Aha!
The final cookie
A man near death smelled his wife baking his favorite cookies down stairs. He decided if he was going to go he would have one last cookie before he went. He dragged his mostly useless body down the stairs and crawled to the counter where he knew the cookies were on the cooling rack. As he reached for a final treat his wife smacked him on the hand with a wooden spoon and said, "Those are for your f**... guests".
Why can't you eat soup in The Matrix?
Because there is no spoon.
I went to the doctor because my eye hurt every time i drank tea.
He told me to take the spoon out.
A man is getting ready to go on a business trip...
He has been suspicious of his wife cheating on him. So he places under his bed a spoon attached to a string that hangs on the metal frame with a bowl of milk under it. He measures the weight of his wife in bed alone to make sure it is not in the milk unless there is more weight.
The man leaves and comes home after a few days and looks under his bed to find a bowl of butter.
Did you hear about that celebrity who got stabbed? Reese-Something?
"Witherspoon?"
"No, with a knife! How do you kill someone with a spoon?"
Vampire limerick
A tad less obvious than most.........
There was a young vampire called Mable,
who's periods were very stable.
Every full moon she would get out a spoon ,
and drink herself under the table.
A man ordered the soup at a restaurant and asked the waiter to try it...
Man: Waiter, will you try the soup?
Waiter: What's wrong Sir, is it too cold?
Man: Will you just try the soup.
Waiter: Is it too hot?
Man: Will you just try the soup
Waiter: Is it too spicy, Sir?
Man: Will you just try the d**... soup son
Waiter: If there is something wrong with the soup...
Man: WILL YOU JUST TRY THE SOUP!
Waiter: FINE! I'll try the soup. Where's the spoon.
Man: Exactly.
Why can't Keanu Reeves eat his soup?
There is no spoon
When I was young, my mum used to put food on a spoon
When I was young, my mum used to put food on a spoon and say, "There's a train coming. There's a train coming." We'd always eat it because we knew that if we didn't she wouldn't untie us from the railway line.
A man goes to the doctors
A man goes to the doctors, complaining about a pain in his eye.
Man: Every time I drink coffee I get a sharp pain in my eye
Doctor: Have you tried removing the spoon first
Why did the Xbox One eat its cereal for breakfast, but not its pancakes?
It had the spoon, but not the 4k.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They drop a spoon on the ground and note the sound.
WAITER: "Yes, is there something wrong?"
WAITER: "Yes, sir, is there something wrong?"
CUSTOMER: "The soup. Taste it."
WAITER: "I beg your pardon, Sir?"
CUSTOMER: "Taste it."
WAITER: "But, Sir, I can assure you that the soup is excellent."
CUSTOMER: "Taste it."
WAITER: "Sir, the soup was made this morning of the finest ingredients."
CUSTOMER: "Taste it!"
WAITER: exasperated, "All right, Sir, I'll taste it."
Then after a pause he said, "Where is the spoon?"
CUSTOMER: "Ah ha!!"
What did the chef say after he lost his favorite spoon?
I'm sad, but only a ladle.
Patient: "Doctor, my eye hurts when I drink my tea..."
Doctor: "Well take the spoon out then.."
Yo Momma so s**......
She brought a spoon to the superbowl.
Whats do you call it when you spoon with a midget?
Backpacking.
When I was younger...
When I was younger my mother used to feed me by putting food on a spoon, and telling me "the train's coming". I'd always eat it, because if I didn't she wouldn't untie me from the track.
There once was a vampire named Mable
Who's period was ever so stable
So every full moon
She pulled out a spoon
And drank herself under the table
Sports Day
It's sports day at a school for "special" kids. During the egg and spoon race, little Johnny falls and hurts himself badly.
One of the teachers freaks out and yells "call Johnny an ambulance, call Johnny an ambulance!"
All the kids immediately start pointing at Johnny and laughing saying "Johnny is an ambulance- Johnny is an ambulance!"
What do you call a person who is unable to tell the difference between a ladle and a spoon?
Fat.
The Jew says...
A Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim and a Jew were in a discussion during a dinner.
Catholic: I have a large fortune… I am going to buy Citibank!
Protestant: I am very wealthy and will buy General Motors!
Muslim: I am a fabulously rich prince… I intend to purchase Microsoft!
They all wait for the Jew to speak…
The Jew stirs his coffee, places the spoon neatly on the table, takes a sip of his coffee,
looks at them and casually says: I'm not selling!!
A man says to his doctor...
"Every time I drink tea I get a sharp pain in my eye"
So the doctor says "Take the spoon out."
Coffee drinking trio
3 friends are bragging about their coffee drinking habits.
1st: I take it dark, thick and black. It's so strong, the spoon stands upright in my cup when I stir it.
2nd: big deal, at least you use a cup. I pour it directly from the kettle into my mouth.
3rd: yeah? We'll I don't even use a kettle. I chew the coffee beans, drink some water and just go sit on the stove for a while.
Guy at a restaurant orders a soup
Some random guy orders a soup in the restaurant and the waiter brings him the soup. Right after the waiter leaves the table the guy calls him back and says "Try the soup" the waiter asks "What's the matter, is it too salty?" guy says "Go ahead and taste it" and the waiter asks "Is it too spicy?" and the guy says "Just freakin' try it!" and the waiter asks "Where's the spoon?" and the guy answers "Exactly"
A man goes to an asylum and asks
How do you admit your patients? The psychiatrist says Well, we fill a bathtub full of water then give them a spoon, a cup and a bucket then we tell them to empty the bathtub . The man replies I see, so the sane person would take the bucket , and the psychiatrist replies No, the sane person will pull the drain plug. Would you like your room to have a balcony sir?
A man went to his psychiatrist and said, "Every time I drink my coffee, I get a stabbing pain in my right eye."
The psychiatrist said, "Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?"
Do you know what it means when you take a sip of coffee in the morning and your eye hurts?
It means you forgot to take out the spoon, d**....
M Night Shyamalan directs The Matrix:
There is a spoon.
Only a bad chef blames his tools, Jeremy..
Yeah, but trying to fillet a fish with a spoon just doesn't quite cut it.
God, this summer has been...
hotter than a spoon at Demi Lovato's house.
Guns don't kill people, people kill people.
But I'd rather take my chances against someone with a spoon.
A man went to a restaurant and ordered a soup
When he got his soup, he noticed something very odd, so he called the waiter over.
"What seems to be the problem, sir?" The waiter asked
"Something is odd with my soup, would you mind tasting it please?"
So the waiter looked over the table and back at the man
"There isn't a spoon" said the waiter
"I know, that's what odd" said the man
What is the worst food to eat with Demi Lovato?
Soup because it is really hard to eat without a spoon
A man is talking to a psychiatrist
Man: "So what are the conditions to get admitted to your psychiatric ward?"
Psychiatrist: "We fill up a bath tub with water and put a spoon, a cup and a bucket next to it. Then we tell the person to empty it."
Man: "Ah, and a normal person would take the bucket, right?"
Psychiatrist: "A normal person would pull out the stopper. Do you want your room with or without balcony?"
A man to a psychiatrist:
How do you select who should be admitted to your facility? The psychiatrist replies: We fill a bathtub with water and give the person a spoon, a cup and a bucket. Then we ask that person to empty the bathtub. The man smiles: Ah, I understand, if you are sane you would take the bucket. The Psychiatrist replies: No, a sane guy pulls the plug. Do you want a room with or without a balcony?
Doc I got a problem.
Patient goes on a checkup.
Doctor: What's the problem?
Patient: Whenever I drink tea my eye hurts.
Doctor: have you tried taking the spoon out.
Two eggs are about to have s**...
And the guy egg puts on a c**... helmet...
The girl egg asks "why the helmet?"
He replies "The last time I was this hard, I got hit on the head with a spoon!"
Coffee
If your eyes hurt when you drink coffee.....
You have to take the spoon out!
Every time I drank coffee I would get this sharp pain in my eye...
I've started taking the spoon out now.
The Bathtub Test
During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. Well said the director, we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.
Oh, I understand, I said. A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup. No. said the director, A normal person would pull the plug, Do you want a bed near the window?
Spoons are the kindest eating utensils
When you wash them, they wash you back
What should I do?
A man was at the doctor's office. "Every time I drink a cup of coffee, Doctor, I have a stabbing pain in my right eye. What should I do?" he asked .
"Take the spoon out of your cup. " answered the doctor.
Grandpa picked up a spoon and looked at it oddly.
Grandpa picked up a spoon and looked at it oddly, fearing it was a sign of Alzheimer's disease I asked him what he was holding in his hand. He snapped back "Of course I know it's a spoon, but who is that old guy in the reflection? "
"Doctor, everytime i drink hot coffee my eye will feel hurt."
"Hmm, i never heard about this before. Anyways can you make a coffee and drink it now?
Of course."
The doctor give him a cup of hot water, an instant coffee and a spoon. The old man makes the coffee as usually and drink it. Then the doctor said,
"Oh i see! You forgot to remove the spoon!
A inspector visits a sanatoriun to check its conditions.
During the tour the director takes him to one of their newly designed test rooms, claiming its foolproof.
"We fill up this bathtub to the brim see? Then we hand to the inmate a spoon and a cup and ask him to empty the tub" Says the director
The inspector nods and replies with a smile "Ah, i see. And the inmate, if sane will choose the cup because it's the biggest."
The director then looks at the inspector and raises a brow "No, the sane one will just open the drain"
Tonight I did a delivery to the local mental asylum.
Being curious, I asked the doctor how do they determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the doctor, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the doctor, "A normal person would pull the bathtub drain plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
A man walks into a greasy spoon for breakfast....
Waiter says what will it be, mac?
The customer says I gotta catch a train - so I'll just have a short stack of pancakes , also coffee ... and waiter - will they be long?
The waiter says No buddy, they'll be round...
The Bathtub Test
During a visit to the mental institution, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
