Spoon Jokes
132 spoon jokes and hilarious spoon puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about spoon that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Why not put a spoonful of laughter into your day? Read our collection of the best spoon jokes sure to give you a chuckle. From jokes involving wooden spoons to silver spoons and even forks and spoons, our funny spoon jokes are sure to entertain the whole family. Get ready to laugh at our funny, punny jokes about utensils.
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Funniest Spoon Short Jokes
Short spoon jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The spoon humour may include short spear jokes also.
- Patient says, "Doctor I have pain in my eye whenever I drink tea" Doctor says, "Take the spoon out of your mug"
- Why did the spoon come to the party dressed as a knife? The invitation said to look sharp.
- "Doctor, Every time I drink coffee I get pain in my eye." "Take the spoon out of your cup."
- A Halloween Limerick A lady vampire named Mable
Had a period that was awfully stable.
So once a full moon
She took out her spoon
And drank herself under the table. - When i was young my mom used to put food on the spoon.. and sing "train is coming, train is coming"... I'd always eat cause i knew if i didn't, she wouldn't untie me from the railway line.
- They say you can choke on a tea-spoon of water, so I thought I'd test it out... The water went down fine, but the spoon nearly killed me.
- Dear Fork, Dear Fork,
I know we haven't spoken since I ran away with Dish, but I thought you should know you have a son. His name is Spork. He has your hair.
Sincerely,
Spoon - How do you avoid a sharp pain in your eye while drinking chocolate milk? Take the spoon out of the glass.
- I told my Kentucky raised girlfriend her family tree doesn't fork... ...it spoons.
She did not find it humorous - Guns don't kill people, people kill people. But I'd rather take my chances against someone with a spoon.
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Spoon One Liners
Which spoon one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with spoon? I can suggest the ones about shovel and scoop.
- Why didn't Neo ever cuddle Trinity from behind in bed? Because there is no spoon.
- Which celebrity is always ready for cereal? Reese, with her spoon
- People ask me why I don't like spoons. Idk why really. They just seem pointless to me.
- Why couldn't Neo eat his Ice cream? Because there is no spoon.
- What did the spoon dress up as to the Halloween party? A cereal killer.
- Why do spoons live such diverse lives? They like to mix it up.
- I was spooning my girlfriend the other night... guess that makes us a pair of cuddelery.
- My friend stirs soup with his left hand. But I stir soup with a spoon.
- Why did the spoon agree with the knife? Because the knife actually had a point.
- What happens when a fork and a spoon get into a fight? Civilwar!
- If you leave a spoon alone in a drink for too long It gets stir crazy
- Once a man named his cats Spoon, Fork and Knife They were his Catlery
- What do you call an orangutan holding a spoon? I don't know I was asking you
- My wife is very insistent on spooning in bed? But forking is apparently off the table
- God, this summer has been... hotter than a spoon at Demi Lovato's house.
Fork And Spoon Jokes
Here is a list of funny fork and spoon jokes and even better fork and spoon puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Two utensils are laying in bed... One turns to the other and says "wanna spoon?"
The other replied, "no, I'd rather fork." - What does a spoon hate to see when driving? A fork in the road
- Developers don't spoon their SO They fork them.
- Spooning leads to forking But if you fork the wrong dish, you could get knifed.
- Utensils Guy 1: "Hey, did you hear that Joe got knifed the other day?"
Guy 2: "That's forked up!"
Guy 1: *glares at Guy 2*
Guy 2: "What? Too spoon?* - I like to tease my friend Luke One time I gave him 2 forks when he asked for a spoon to have his cereal with. He said "Can I have a spoon?" I said "Luke, use the forks".
- what do you say when you're out of spoons? fork it.
- Why do they call it spooning? Because it's the opposite of forking
- Why did the apple eat itself with a fork? Because it didn't have a spoon!
(Courtesy of my three year old daughter.) - Spooning... leads to forking
Little Spoon Jokes
Here is a list of funny little spoon jokes and even better little spoon puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was waitering the other day and a nice old man asked me for a little spoon so I gently lay him down and hugged him from behind
- Drinking coffee used to make my eyes hurt a little. Then I learned you're supposed to remove the spoon from the mug first.
- When my wife wants to cuddle in bed, I make her play the big spoon.. That way when she farts, she farts away from me. She's like my little jet pack.
- What does little spoon says to big spoon? What soup?
- Do you prefer big spoon or little spoon? I prefer big spoon so I can get more ice cream per scoop as I cry to myself alone.
- Spooning with the GF this morning... and she says to me, "Am I the little spoon?"
I said "No, you're more like the cake tin."
Didn't go down well. - What did the big spoon say to the little spoon? Wait, are your parents home?
Big Spoon Jokes
Here is a list of funny big spoon jokes and even better big spoon puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you here about the latest new thing to serve salad? It's just a big fork 'n' spoon!
- Mummy mummy can I have a spoon Jimmys been sick and johnnys eaten all the big bits
Silver Spoon Jokes
Here is a list of funny silver spoon jokes and even better silver spoon puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My cousin was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Unfortunately, she died from asphyxiation almost immediately.
- I was not born with a silver spoon. If I was, how did it get inside?
- I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth It took the surgeons eight hours to remove
Delightful Fun Spoon Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about spoon you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean saucer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make spoon pranks.
I went out to dinner with Neo from The Matrix when I saw him eating soup with a fork.
He kept insisting there was no spoon!
A question for your doctor
During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"
"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup.."
"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
A man goes to the doctor...
And says 'doctor doctor! You gotta help me! Every time I have tea I get a sharp pain in my eye!'
The doctor looks at him. 'The next time you have tea,' he says, 'take the spoon out of the cup first.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A German, an American, and a Russian are arguing who can feed a spoonful of mustard to a cat more easily...
The German just grabs the cat and forces the spoon with mustard into its mouth. The other two protest: "This is violence!"
The American hides the mustard between two slices of sausage. The other two protest: "This is deception!"
The Russian spreads the mustard under the cat's tail. The cat starts furiously l**... it off, meowing loudly. "See - he does it voluntarily and with songs!"
Lose 7 pounds in 3 days with this one weird trick!
Step 1. Purchase mayonnaise.
Step 2. Leave mayonnaise in the sun for 5 hours. Let it really bake.
Step 3. Eat a couple spoon fulls of the mayo.
Step 4. Lose AT LEAST 7 pounds over the next 3 days!
Taste the soup
A guy eating in a restaurant calls the waiter.
-Please taste the soup.
The confused waiter asks:
-Is the soup too hot?
-Just taste the soup...
-Is the soup too cold?
-Taste the soup.
-Is there a fly in the soup?
-Taste the soup!
The waiter, tired of guessing, gives up.
-Alright, alright, I'll taste the soup. Where's the spoon?
-Aha!
A man is getting ready to go on a business trip...
He has been suspicious of his wife cheating on him. So he places under his bed a spoon attached to a string that hangs on the metal frame with a bowl of milk under it. He measures the weight of his wife in bed alone to make sure it is not in the milk unless there is more weight.
The man leaves and comes home after a few days and looks under his bed to find a bowl of butter.
Try the soup
Man calls the waiter and tell him
Man: Taste this soup.
Waiter: Sir I am not allowed to do it.
Man: It is alright, just try one spoon of it
Waiter: Tastes a spoon full and ends up throwing up in the soup bowl itself.
Man: See, the exact same thing happened to me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you cure a Polish h**... addict?
Give him a plastic spoon
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My little girl loves helping me when I'm doing the cooking, because I always let her lick the spoon.
The sooner she's old enough to buy her own h**..., the better.
Why can't Keanu Reeves eat his soup?
There is no spoon
Who's the hungriest celebrity there is?
Reese with her spoon.
Why did the Xbox One eat its cereal for breakfast, but not its pancakes?
It had the spoon, but not the 4k.
What did the chef say after he lost his favorite spoon?
I'm sad, but only a ladle.
At what point does a spoon become a shovel?
When you're in prison
" I don't have a spoon"
" Well I don't have a punchline"
"Which hand do you use to stir your coffee?"
"My right?"
"How original, I use a spoon"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Yo Momma so s**......
She brought a spoon to the superbowl.
"Doc, every time I drink chocolate milk, I get an awful pain in my left eye"
"Take the spoon out"
Whats do you call it when you spoon with a midget?
Backpacking.
Nudist resort in Texas
Some creep slowly chipped a hole into the wall using an old spoon for some reason.
The rangers are looking into it
Sports Day
It's sports day at a school for "special" kids. During the egg and spoon race, little Johnny falls and hurts himself badly.
One of the teachers freaks out and yells "call Johnny an ambulance, call Johnny an ambulance!"
All the kids immediately start pointing at Johnny and laughing saying "Johnny is an ambulance- Johnny is an ambulance!"
Meet the Utensil Family
Baby spoon, father knife and mother forker.
(Be easy, came up with this when drunk)
Why would you use your right hand to stir your coffee?
I would use a spoon.
What did the spoon say to the knife.
It's knife to meet you. You wanna fork.
The knife then says, I can't there's to much on my plate.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Jew says...
A Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim and a Jew were in a discussion during a dinner.
Catholic: I have a large fortune… I am going to buy Citibank!
Protestant: I am very wealthy and will buy General Motors!
Muslim: I am a fabulously rich prince… I intend to purchase Microsoft!
They all wait for the Jew to speak…
The Jew stirs his coffee, places the spoon neatly on the table, takes a sip of his coffee,
looks at them and casually says: I'm not selling!!
Coffee drinking trio
3 friends are bragging about their coffee drinking habits.
1st: I take it dark, thick and black. It's so strong, the spoon stands upright in my cup when I stir it.
2nd: big deal, at least you use a cup. I pour it directly from the kettle into my mouth.
3rd: yeah? We'll I don't even use a kettle. I chew the coffee beans, drink some water and just go sit on the stove for a while.
What's the deal with airplane food?
YOU DON'T NEED TO SWING A SPOON AROUND AND MAKE NOISES TO GET ME TO EAT SOMETHING, MOM!!!
I'm an adult now...
I just had the best dinner of my life, but I had to eat it with a spoon.
It was an un-fork-edible meal.
What did the large spoon say to the small fork?
Why are you so tine-y?
When you wash a spoon it washes you right back.
A man goes to an asylum and asks
How do you admit your patients? The psychiatrist says Well, we fill a bathtub full of water then give them a spoon, a cup and a bucket then we tell them to empty the bathtub . The man replies I see, so the sane person would take the bucket , and the psychiatrist replies No, the sane person will pull the drain plug. Would you like your room to have a balcony sir?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Do you know what it means when you take a sip of coffee in the morning and your eye hurts?
It means you forgot to take out the spoon, d**....
M Night Shyamalan directs The Matrix:
There is a spoon.
Only a bad chef blames his tools, Jeremy..
Yeah, but trying to fillet a fish with a spoon just doesn't quite cut it.
Why did the spoon go to the dentist?
It had a concavity.
Why is the spork so bad in relationships?
Because when he's done forking he never wants to spoon.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do people with chronic illnesses and parents of h**... addicts have in common?
They can never find a spoon when they need one.
Why didn't the fork and spoon want to hang out with the butter knife?
He was just too dull.
A man went to a restaurant and ordered a soup
When he got his soup, he noticed something very odd, so he called the waiter over.
"What seems to be the problem, sir?" The waiter asked
"Something is odd with my soup, would you mind tasting it please?"
So the waiter looked over the table and back at the man
"There isn't a spoon" said the waiter
"I know, that's what odd" said the man
What is the worst food to eat with Demi Lovato?
Soup because it is really hard to eat without a spoon
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two eggs are about to have s**...
And the guy egg puts on a c**... helmet...
The girl egg asks "why the helmet?"
He replies "The last time I was this hard, I got hit on the head with a spoon!"
The Bathtub Test
During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. Well said the director, we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.
Oh, I understand, I said. A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup. No. said the director, A normal person would pull the plug, Do you want a bed near the window?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Rich people are born with a silver spoon in their mouth.
But polite french people are born with a s'il vous plaît
Spoons are the kindest eating utensils
When you wash them, they wash you back
You know when you're opening the tube of Pilsbury crescent rolls but it just tears, then you see the "press spoon here" option?
Spanx ought to sew that line into each of their garments.
Grandpa picked up a spoon and looked at it oddly.
Grandpa picked up a spoon and looked at it oddly, fearing it was a sign of Alzheimer's disease I asked him what he was holding in his hand. He snapped back "Of course I know it's a spoon, but who is that old guy in the reflection? "
"Doctor, everytime i drink hot coffee my eye will feel hurt."
"Hmm, i never heard about this before. Anyways can you make a coffee and drink it now?
Of course."
The doctor give him a cup of hot water, an instant coffee and a spoon. The old man makes the coffee as usually and drink it. Then the doctor said,
"Oh i see! You forgot to remove the spoon!
A inspector visits a sanatoriun to check its conditions.
During the tour the director takes him to one of their newly designed test rooms, claiming its foolproof.
"We fill up this bathtub to the brim see? Then we hand to the inmate a spoon and a cup and ask him to empty the tub" Says the director
The inspector nods and replies with a smile "Ah, i see. And the inmate, if sane will choose the cup because it's the biggest."
The director then looks at the inspector and raises a brow "No, the sane one will just open the drain"
Tonight I did a delivery to the local mental asylum.
Being curious, I asked the doctor how do they determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the doctor, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the doctor, "A normal person would pull the bathtub drain plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
A man walks into a greasy spoon for breakfast....
Waiter says what will it be, mac?
The customer says I gotta catch a train - so I'll just have a short stack of pancakes , also coffee ... and waiter - will they be long?
The waiter says No buddy, they'll be round...
The Bathtub Test
During a visit to the mental institution, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
