Spite Jokes
15 spite jokes and hilarious spite puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about spite that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Spite Short Jokes
Short spite jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The spite humour may include short revenge jokes also.
- In spite of all our differences here on Reddit, I'm glad about one thing. Everyone reading this.... is on the same page.
- I unscrambled the letters to spell anger hate spite and malice It was a cross word puzzle.
- In spite of my anger, I decided not to bring my wetsuit to the beach. It was a rash decision.
- My Arabic friend was thinking about throwing his Gillete razors away but decided not to In spite of everything, they're still the best Aman can get
- I decided to watch the eclipse with only sunglasses, in spite of all the warnings. I honestly can't see what all the fuss was about.
- People say that we are years away AI capable of emotion, But if the pure spite that is written into printer software is any indication, I'd say we're already there.
- Do you know why Batman didn't become a cop in spite of facing the same risk as cops? He doesn't want to do the paperwork
- So the school nurse gave my daughter 12 kinds of shampoo... She said variety was the spite of lice
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Spite One Liners
Which spite one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with spite? I can suggest the ones about grudge and despise.
- If I had a dollar for everything I did out of spite... I wouldn't take the money.
Hilarious Fun Spite Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about spite you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hatred jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make spite pranks.
My deaf-mute postman has such a tough job. He starts work at 3am. In summer he gets attacked by dogs and in winter he has to brave through sub-zero temperatures. But in spite of all this....
I've never heard him complain
In love and war.
A couple is going through a bitter divorce. The mans prize possession: baseball collectibles valued at $10000. Everyone knows, his spouse is entitled to half, in lieu of splitting his prized collection, he offers 8k cash. Out of spite she denies the offer and insists the collection be split. She too had a collection of shoes and has over 1000 pairs with roughly the same value. Fair being fair he insists on taking half.
She gets half of his Yankees, Red Sox, and Cubs collectibles. He gets all the lefts.
The Pope is walking through the streets of Vatican City...
... and he sees two beggars holding up cans for money. One of them is holding up a Christian cross, and the other a Star of David. The Pope sees that the one with the cross is, of course, getting much more money than the one with the Star of David, with some people only giving money to the Christian to spite the Jew. The Pope decides he has to intervene.
So he taps the Jew gently on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me. I noticed that you didn't have anything in your tin and I wanted to point out that in Vatican City, begging for money with a Star of David isn't a very good method of getting any, especially with a man with a cross next to you. Perhaps you should try a different city?"
The Jewish man laughs out loud, shocking the Pope. He turns to the Christian and exclaims, "Hey Abraham! Look who's trying to teach the Goldberg brothers marketing!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Burning Rubber
A knockout young lady decided she wanted to get rich quick. So she proceeded to find herself a rich 73 year old man, planning to screw him to death on their wedding night. The courtship and wedding went off without any problem, in spite of the half- century age difference.
On the first night of her honeymoon, she got undressed, and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to come to bed. When he emerged, however, he had nothing on except a rubber to cover his 12 inch e**..., and he was carrying ear plugs and a pair of nose plugs.
Fearing her plan had gone amiss, she asked, What are those for?
The old man replied, There are just two things I can't stand: the sound of a woman screaming… and the smell of burning rubber!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy is in a shipwreck…
The only survivors are him and (insert you favorite celebrity/supermodel here). The two are there for years and in spite of her celebrity and his relative ordinariness the two fall in love and live very happily together for many years. One day she tells him, "Ive been so happy with you these past years. I never would have thought I could be so happy alone with just one person in a situation like this. Is there anything that you truly miss that I might be able to do for you?" He said that his best friend back in the world was named Ed and he asked her if she would let him pretend that she was Ed for just a few minutes. She was very happy to be able to do something so simple for him and of course said yes. He said, "Great! Lets go for a walk on the beach." After a few minutes walking on the beach he turns to her and says,"Hey Ed, you'll never believe who I've been f**...'!"
