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Spit Or Swallow Jokes

42 spit or swallow jokes and hilarious spit or swallow puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about spit or swallow that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Spit Or Swallow Short Jokes

Short spit or swallow jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The spit or swallow humour may include short spit jokes also.

  1. The new girl at work slapped me today because I asked if she spits or swallows... It seemed like a perfectly reasonable question, considering we work as wine tasters...
  2. Johnny's mother called his father at work... "Johnny just swallowed a nickle and spit up two dimes, what do I do??"
    "Keep feeding him nickles!"
  3. What's the difference between spitting, swallowing and gargling? Love, true love, expert technique.
  4. Emily Blunt will star in a new crime movie where she hunts down hitmen who keep swallowing their targets and spitting out bigger versions of themselves. It's titled Agario.
  5. What's the difference between a feminist and a Roomba? A Roomba actually swallows instead of spitting out
  6. 2 year old son spits on the floor. Wife: We don't spit. If it's in your mouth you s**... it.
    Husband raises eyebrows.
    Wife: You shut up!
  7. I just got slapped by a girl for asking her, "Do you spit or s**...?" I thought this was a very reasonable question to ask her, considering we were at a wine tasting session.
  8. At least she didn't say s**.... What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
    One says: "Spit your gum out." the other says:
    "Chew Chew."
    /Badum cshhhh
  9. I asked her, "Do you spit or s**...?" # She slapped me and stormed off!
    ### Anyway, I don't recommend wine tastings as a first date, it really seems to bother some girls for some reason.
  10. How do you know when you have a good r**... girlfriend? If she can give you o**... with a dip in and know which to s**... and which to spit.

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Spit Or Swallow One Liners

Which spit or swallow one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with spit or swallow? I can suggest the ones about spit out and swallow.

  1. The only thing worse than her spitting on your grave... ...is her swallowing on it.
  2. What ends a swallows life? A spit.
  3. Why did Princess Leia spit and not s**...? Because it was Chewy
  4. What's the difference between like and love ? A Spit and a s**...
  5. The difference between like and love is spit and s**....
  6. The difference between like and love is spit and s**....
  7. What's the definition of like, love, and hate? Spit, s**..., and bite.
  8. Spit or s**...? What do you mean? African or European s**...?
  9. Life is a job You learn as you blow
    Sometimes you spit
    Sometimes you s**...
  10. The only guy who would say "Don't s**..., spit it out!" The dentist

Spit Or Swallow Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about spit or swallow you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean spit take jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make spit or swallow pranks.

Boy: Do you spit or s**...?

Girl:WHAT?! Spit or s**... what?
Boy:You know... when you have it... in your mouth
Girl:You're so dirty!! Ofcourse I s**....
Boy:And what about swallowing toothpaste makes you so clean?

You might be a r**... if your girlfriend can pack a lip and go down on you at the same time...

...and still know what to spit and what to s**....

Guess who i am

I am a long object. You put me in your mouth and shake me. Then you either s**... or spit out white liquid . Yes, it is me your toothbrush

So one time this chick is going down on me,

and I give her the "courtesy tap" because I'm about to blow. She just keeps on going and I'm like, "I hit the jackpot here!" So I finish, and she leans back and picks up a glass off the coffee table and spits in it.
I was like, "Wow, that was *hot*.
She says, "Well, I don't s**...."
I say, "Well, that'd be weird if you told me you were waitin' for it to cool off.."
Stole it from somebody way funnier than me.

A bird lands in a bush between two others..

He turns to one on his right and asks s**... ? The other bird replies angrily No spit! . He looks at the bird to his left Hmm thorny subject .

Why does a girl who uses chewing tobacco give the best head?

Because she's knows what to spit and what to s**....

After putting it in my mouth, moving it all over it and tasting it I just spitted it out violently, I never liked to s**... it.

Man, this toothpaste is so refreshing.

Real r**... woman.

How do you know you're with a real r**... woman? She can put in a dip know what to spit and what to s**....

Q: "What is the difference between like and love?"
A: "Spit and s**...."

A Close Shave

An older man getting his hair cut said to the barber, I have very loose skin on my face so I can never seem to get a good close shave. Any ideas?
The barber handed him a small wooden ball and said, Place this in your mouth and roll it around to whichever side I'm shaving. It will stretch out the skin and I'll give you the best shave you've had in years.
The man did what the barber said and sure enough. his face was smooth as silk after the shave. He spit out the wooden ball and said, I just have one question- What would happen if I accidentally swallowed that wooden ball?
You'd bring it back in a few days, like everyone else does.

Whats long, you put in your mouth and when it comes out you either spit or s**...

A toothbrush

Brake Fluid

A mechanic was working under a car when some brake fluid dripped into his mouth. At first he spit it out, but he found that the aftertaste was not tha bad. He continued working under the car when some more brake fluid found its way into his mouth. This time he swallowed. He really liked the taste of brake fluid! Soon enough, his coworkers found him drinking brake fluid from a cup in the shop. "I don't think that's safe" a concerned coworker pleaded. "You should not be drinking anymore brake fluid, dude" another said. "Don't worry" the mechanic assured them, "I can stop anytime!".