The Best 42 Spiritual Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Spiritual jokes. There are some spiritual visionary jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these spiritual spiritually puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Spiritual Jokes and Puns

Have you heard about Gandhi?

Gandhi walked around a bunch and built up giant callouses on the bottoms of his feet. He fasted a bunch which gave his bones a rather fragile brittle nature. He was a spiritual man, a mystic to many people. And he had a strange diet of green tea and white rice which gave him constant bad breath.

So **tl;dr** Gandhi was a super-calloused, fragile mystic, vexed with halitosis.

If you loiter in a Tibetan spiritual leaders sandwich shop every day, then...

... you dilly dally in the Dalai's deli daily.

The very spiritual Gandhi walked everywhere, leaving him with impressive calluses. And he ate very little, which made him rather frail. His odd diet also plagued him with bad breath. I guess you could say.....

That he was a super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Spiritual joke, The very spiritual Gandhi walked everywhere, leaving him with impressive calluses. And he ate very l

I think single ply toilet paper is very spiritual.

I easily get in touch with my inner self.

Late last night I was trying to summon a demon.

After many hours in my basement drawing pentagrams, chanting voodoo and performing spiritual dance I had failed to conjure any demons from the dark depths of Hades.

Defeat was in my mind and I had no choice but to admit the ways of old no longer held any sway with the dark lord. I reluctantly slid the Iphone from my bathrobe's inner pocket and activated the voice command:

"Siri, would you please summon me the darkest, most malevolent demon that Satan himself would be pleased with."

Siri:"Ok, Contacting Comcast Customer Support"


A Spiritual guru met a prostitute in forest

the prostitute asked if he wanted to have sex with her. The guru agreed and they have the wildest sex.

After both of them get dressed, the Guru starts walking away from her. The prostitute stops him and asks..

Prostitute: "money?"

Guru: "C'mon, I won't take money from you"

A Lack of Recognition

Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.

Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the spiritual leader of their churches.

Baptists do not recognize each other in liquor stores or gentlemen's clubs.

Spiritual joke, A Lack of Recognition

A rabbi and a priest...

take a group of kids on a spiritual trip to the Holy Land. During the flight, the pilot announces,
" The plane is going down, we only have two parachutes. I'm taking one. You guys figure out who gets the other one"
The priest says, " We should give it to one of the kids."
The rabbi grabs the chute and says, " I have a life to live! F*ck the kids! "

The priest thinks, and says,
"Do you think we have time?? "

The Lost Bible

One day a devout preacher lost his favorite Bible while he was at a spiritual retreat in the mountains. He was devastated, and began to lose his faith. Three weeks later, a dog walked up to him after church service, carrying the Bible in its mouth. The preacher couldn't believe his eyes.

He took the precious book out of the dog's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"

"Not really," said the dog. "Your name is written inside the cover."

I just googled shaman dance

I was searching for some spiritual guy dance

I don't drink alcohol. I drink distilled spirits.

So I'm not an alcoholic. I'm spiritual.

You can explore spiritual frail reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean spiritual emotional dad jokes. There are also spiritual puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Hear the one about the Buddhist monk who *almost* achieved total spiritual enlightenment?

He only made it to Nearvana.

Mahatma Gandhi was a strange person.

He walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. He often went on hunger strikes, and even when he wasn't on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail. He also was a very spiritual person. Finally, because he didn't eat much and when he did his diet was peculiar, he developed very smelly breath.

He eventually became known as a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Why is it considered spiritual to buy cheap toilet paper?

Because you come to touch with your inner self.

If you want to destroy science, you are a fundamentalist; if you want to destroy spiritual theology, you are a scientist; if you want to destroy both, you are

Nietzsche

I wanted spiritual guidance but all she did was stare at my feet.

She was trying to read my sole.

Spiritual joke, I wanted spiritual guidance but all she did was stare at my feet.

What size shirt do ghosts wear?

Spiritual Medium

Wife: I'm going to the store, do you want anything?

Husband: Babe, you know, I've been craving sense of meaning and purpose in life. I can really use some fulfillment and completeness to my soul. I want to connect to god and discover the spiritual side of me.

Wife: Can you be more specific? Black Label or Chivas?

I wanted to video chat with the spiritual leader of tibet

I ended up looking at a tall sheep like animal, turns out I called Dial-a-Llama


I called the spiritual leader of Tibet

I got a large goat. Turns out I called dial-a-llama.

A priest, a spiritual leader and a kiddy diddler walk into the bar

He orders a beer.

Why did the Michael Jackson impersonator go to the spiritual centre?

He heard there was a gathering of shamoneic practitioners.

I want you to know I'm not racist...

Like I said. I'm not racist. I have nothing against people of color, any kind of spiritual belief, or any political backing.

However. I do have something against amputees. I don't know what it is about them, but I just feel like they're missing something.

Final Memories

Three friends from the local congregation were asked, "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"

Artie said, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."

Eugene commented, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."

Al said, "I'd like them to say, 'Look, he's moving!'"

I have black friend who has been a buddhist for years. He has just come up with a name for his very own spiritual center.

Meditayshaun.

I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet...

He sent me a large goat with a really long neck...Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama

Create a group based on the well-being and succession of others for your own spiritual benefit

Call it the Good Chi Gang

What do you order at a spiritual hotdog stand?

One with everything

Ghandi never wore shoes...

...so he had thick skin on his feet. He was quite a weak man, though spiritual. And because of his poor diet, he often had bad breath.

You could say he was a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed with halitosis.

How do you call an australian who is a spiritual leader and a ruler in mongolia ?

A Khan Guru

So the Tibetan spiritual leader was found to have faked his reincarnation...

I always knew he was the lie Lama.

I tried to phone the spiritual leader of Tibet once, but was sent a big goat with a long neck instead.

Turns out I had phoned Dial-a-Llama.

My great grandfather is a really spiritual person

He's dead.

What is the one spiritual condition that can never be obtained by blind people?

Enlightenment

"Who's this wise guy?"

"That's the Dalai Lama, he's kind of the spiritual leader of the Buddhist people."


"Well no wonder they chose him, he's got great advice!"

[OC] A sketchy looking guy asks a stripper if she'll join him on a spiritual quest in the Las Vegas desert.

She knows she would be dumb to accept the invitation, but she asks her manager for advice first just in case. His response is simple:

"There are no stupid quest shuns; only stupid dancers."

A Christian,Muslim and Hindu had a fight on a plane

It was decided they would all try to make other passenger stand by chanting their spiritual words. The person who made most people stand up is the winner.
There were 40 passengers on board

Christian : Bless us Jesus Christ
5 passengers stand up

Hindu : Jai Mata Di
3 passengers stand up

Muslim : Allah hu Akbar
37 passengers Stand Up.
.
.
.
.
.
And jumped out of the plane.

I went to a spiritual healer last night... what a load of rubbish

Even the guy in the wheelchair got up and walked out

I'm tired of explaining to my spiritual Guru how E-mails work.

He can't just understand what attachments are!

When your in your casket............?

Three friends from the local congregation were asked,
"When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you,
what would you like them to say?"


Artie said, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine
spiritual leader, and a great family man."


Merle commented, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God,
who made a huge difference in peoples lives."


Don said, "I'd like them to say, 'Look! He's moving!'"

Life has 3 levels of existence...

Pain and pleasure in the physical plane. Enlightenment in the spiritual plane. And no leg room in the air plane.

Russia has been cut off from CNN, CBS, ABC Pornhub, Facebook...

US is working depriving Russians of McDonalds, Coca-Cola and US fastfood. They continue with these sanctions and Russian people will probably be the most healthiest, well adjusted, spiritual and well informed people on the planet.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the spiritual task jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working spiritual primitive piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes