The Best 67 Spirits Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Spirits jokes. There are some spirits schnapps jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these spirits prohibition puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Spirits Jokes and Puns

you shouldn't date spirits

they'll always ghost you

Seeing as it's almost time for New Years Celebrations for myself

Tonight I am an exorcist, as I shall be ridding the house of all Spirits.

What do a haunted gypsum mine and paint thinner have in common?

Mineral Spirits

Spirits joke, What do a haunted gypsum mine and paint thinner have in common?

What do you call ghosts that haunt liquor stores?


Why does riding in an elevator make ghosts happy?

It lifts spirits

What does an alcoholic ghost drink?


why do ghosts like elevators?

it lifts their spirits

Spirits joke, why do ghosts like elevators?

How does a booze thief make you feel better?

He lifts your spirits.

Your mom is so fat

Even Jesus couldn't lift her spirits up.

The ghost of a dog with no tail walks into a bar after closing time..

Barman: Sorry, we don't retail spirits after hours.

My brother recently got married

To celebrate, my mother decided to pull out a couple bottles from my late father's homemade alcohol collection.

That way he could be there in spirits

You can explore spirits boo reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean spirits mali dad jokes. There are also spirits puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why did the priest smoke weed in the cemetery?

He wanted to keep his spirits high.

A ghost goes into a bar and orders a vodka

The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits here."

what do exorcists and alcoholics have in common?

They both treat their demons with spirits!

How can you tell when a bar is haunted?

It's full of Boo's and Spirits.

So aparently my local pub is haunted.

Everyone keeps telling me the place is full of spirits.

Spirits joke, So aparently my local pub is haunted.

What do ghosts do when they're sad?

They get in an elevator to lift their spirits.

A ghost walks into a bar

"Sorry sir" the barmen says, "We don't serve spirits after eleven"

What's the difference between a suicidal ghost hunter and a weaboo alcohol taster?

One drinks bleach and watches spirits; the other drinks spirits and watches Bleach.

What do you call a man who's always in high spirits?

An alcoholic.

What did Amy Winehouse have in common with the Ghostbusters?

They both downed spirits.

A ghost walks into a theater and goes to the concession stand

But he gets turned away because they don't serve spirits

Feeling down?

Try necromancy, it's sure to... raise your spirits.

A man walks into a graveyard bar

"Can I get a beer?" he asks as he walks up to the bar.

"I'm sorry," replies the bartender. "We serve only spirits."

It turns out the town drunk is an exorcist.

Since his last visit, there are no more spirits in the liquor store.

A ghost floats into a bar...

The bartender says:

'What'll it be, spirits?

Hippy walks into a bar

The barman says "Sorry, we don't serve free spirits"

Why are all liquor stores haunted?

Because they're full of spirits.

Went to the gym today and cheered everyone on for an hour. On the way out the trainer stopped me...

Confused he asked me what I was doing at the gym. So I told him exactly what I was doing:
"Lifting Spirits"

I don't drink alcohol. I drink distilled spirits.

So I'm not an alcoholic. I'm spiritual.

Why did the ghost get in the elevator?

To lift his spirits.

Why do evil spirits make terrible drivers?

Because they aren't sure when to stop, or Wendigo.

Why didn't they serve ghosts alcohol during the prohibition?

Because they didn't have any spirits.

Why don't ghosts go out in the rain?

It dampens their spirits

A ghost walks into a bar...

The ghost orders a shot of whiskey. The bartender says "I'm sorry. We don't serve spirits here."

A ghost floats into a bar

He stops at the bar and says Barkeep, I'll take a glass of your finest wine.

The bartender doesn't respond.

The ghost is angered and says, Your finest wine, or I'm going to haunt your bar.

Still no response from the bartender.

The ghost says, Hey buddy, what's your problem??

The bartender looks at him and says, We don't serve spirits here.

My weed and vodka store is doing really well.

Everyone who shops there leaves with high spirits.

Gin and jinn are pronounced the same way.

Both are spirits in a bottle.

Why did the former medium quit drinking liquor?

Because she didn't like spirits

Why do ghosts use the elevator?

To life up their spirits!

Why was the kleptomaniac clown visiting the liquor store?

He was lifting their spirits

Why was the man happy when his glass of wine started levitating?

Because his spirits were lifted!

An alcoholic therapist

Is a destroyer of demons and spirits.

How come depressed people kill themselves?

It lifts their spirits

I've decided to call my mother-in-law the 'Exorcist'

...because every time she came to visit she'd make all the spirits disappear

People ask, "Why do you hunt evil spirits?"

It's because my doctor said exorcising would be good for me.

*finds old Ouija board*

"I don't know guys, that stuff is dark--"

"What's the worst that could happen?"

"Spirits of the dead give us your message!"



"Shut up"



"Keep going"


What's the difference between making people happy and disappointing them?

One is a great way to lift spirits and the other is a great way to

How do spirits travel long distances?

The ethereal plane.

A ghost of a dog walks into a bar. He tells the story of how he was shot to bits and lost his tail. After asking if there was anyone to sew it back on the barman replied...

"I'm sorry, we don't retail spirits here"

How did the stoner feel when he jumped into a vat of marijuana infused vodka?

He was in high spirits

What do you call a pair of drunk ghosts ?

Methalated Spirits

Has anyone heard about the cemetery for alcoholics?

It's haunted by spirits.

Did you know liquor stores are the most haunted places in the country?

they're all full of spirits.

In his later years, the Lone Ranger and Tonto were catching up on old times. After awhile the Lone Ranger paused and said I have some sad news.

Tell me, old friend said the faithful Tonto.

Well...I recently was diagnosed with Cancer

Bad spirits, replied his old companion.

The Lone Ranger look off into the distance for a minute. After all your years of wisdom, what do you think I should do?

Chemo, sabe

Ps this is my first joke post ever so I hope I did it right.

What do boobs on talking trees and spirits have in common?

They are both entitties.

What do ghosts drink...?


Did you hear about the alcoholic medium?

He made all the spirits disappear.

A ghost walks into a bar at 4 am.

The bartender says: sorry, we don't serve spirits after 3.

"We call hard-drinking Ian an exorcist." "Why?" asks the bartender.

"When he shows up, all the spirits disappear."

After being 3 months sober from drinking, I bought myself a motivational poster to keep my spirits up.

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." -Wayne Gretzky

Why do ghost like to ride in elevators?

Because it raises their spirits!

Why do ghosts like to ride the elevator?

It lifts their spirits
happy spoopy day

Why is the forklift operator at the distillery you own always so nice to you?

Because it's his job to lift your spirits.

The staff of this liquor store called the cops on me for stealing Whisky and Vodka.

I don't understand. I was only lifting their spirits.

I left a bottle a whiskey outside last night and it got rained on.

It's not ruined but my spirits are dampened.

My best friend with dwarfism started communicating with spirits...

My best friend with dwarfism started communicating with spirits. We were both happy for him.

He finally became a medium

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the spirits gin jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working spirits haunt piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes