The Best 66 Spirit Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Spirit jokes. There are some spirit haloween jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these spirit holy spirit puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Spirit Jokes and Puns

Me: Sometimes I hear a voice and I think it might be an evil spirit, should I be afraid?



**Therapist:** That's actually quite common, sometimes I hear a whiny bitchass girly voice.

**Me:** What do you mean?

**Therapist:** There it goes again.

What's a ghost's favorite way to travel?

Spirit airlines.

I said to my girlfriend, "Do you want to experiment with a role-play rape fantasy?"

She said, "**NO!**"

I said, "*That's the spirit!*" β€”Jimmy Carr

Methylated Spirit

A scruffy homeless man walks into a DIY store.

"Bottle of methylated spirit please."

"Look mate, no offense but I wasn't born yesterday. I can't sell that to you when I know you're just gonna drink it."

"Hey, what are you implying? This is ridiculous, I'm using it for woodwork!"

"All right, all right..." says the shopkeeper, taking a bottle of the shelf.

"Oh, haven't you got a cold one?"

jokes about spirit

A man orders a shot of ever spirit in the bar, downs them all and says to the barman "I probably shouldn't have had all of those with what I've got". "Why?", asks the concerned barman, "what have you got?"

"About two dollars and some loose change." Replies the man.


Lenin,Stalin and Gorbachev were riding on a train...

When it came to a halt,the engineer said,"Our engine has failed,What shall i do?"."Let the invincible spirit of the people pulls us on!" Lenin declared."Shoot the engineer!" offered Stalin.And Gorbachev suggested, "Close the shades and we can pretend we're moving forward."

What do you say to a motivated ghost?

That's the spirit!

Spirit joke, What do you say to a motivated ghost?

What's the American settler's spirit animal?

The groundhog.

The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are discussing where to holiday...

The Holy Spirit, predictably, suggests Las Vegas, but God says he feels like a change this year.

God suggests Jerusalem, but Jesus vetoes - not after last time...

Jesus suggests The Vatican City. "Sounds good to me." says God. " Yeah I'd like that," says the Holy Spirit, "I've never been."

The very spiritual Gandhi walked everywhere, leaving him with impressive calluses. And he ate very little, which made him rather frail. His odd diet also plagued him with bad breath. I guess you could say.....

That he was a super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

How do you encourage a bartender?

"That's the spirit!"

How do you discourage a bartender?

Boos.

You can explore spirit soul reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean spirit riff dad jokes. There are also spirit puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Did you hear about the mathematician ghost?

"No"
Well, Its the spirit that counts.

A Hindu candle company has released a "Nirvana" scented candle.

It smells like teen spirit.

God took a paternity test

He found out he was the father, the son and the holy spirit.

My friend doesn't like being called Squidward.

He told me, "But I hate SpongeBob..."
I said, "That's the spirit!"

A ghost says to his ghostfriend..

"I don't think I'm gonna enter the next ghost-race.."

"Why not?" Asked the ghost-friend.

"Because I've lost every other one!" He cries sullenly.

"I believe in you, so enter the next ghost-race!"

"..Yeah. Yeah! I **can** do this!" Cried the ghost, filled with motivation.

Smug, the ghost friend said;

"That's the spirit!"

Spirit joke, A ghost says to his ghostfriend..

I asked my wife if she was up for a game of rape

She said no

I said that's the spirit

I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to take part in a rape fantasy

She screamed NO!!

I said thats the spirit

Jack Daniels couldn't be here today,

But he's here in spirit.


Your momma so slutty...

...her spirit animal is the swallow.

Since The Simpson's just reached the 600 episode milestone, I'd like to take a moment to remember it's importance to american history ...

Its unwaveringly realistic portrayal of the yellow people's disenfranchisement while pursuing the American Dream is a testament to our nation's tolerant spirit.

An old Hitler joke

Some time ago, a medium contacted Hitler's spirit by accident. Out of curiosity, he decided to listen to what Hitler had to say.

"Listen to my words, you little brat: I'm gonna reincarnate someday, and I'm gonna kill six million Jews and two dogs".

"Why the two dogs?" the medium replied.

"See, nobody cares about the Jews!"

What's the first thing you should do when confronted by an evil spirit?

Try to neghostiate.

I'm so proud of my African pen pal.

He told me he hasn't had a drink in days. That's the spirit! Keep it up pal.

A father dies and in order to be at his daughter's wedding he possesses a bottle of vodka from the kitchen.

At least he was with them in spirit.

Two guys in a communal shower...

Guy1: You wanna play the rape game?
Guy2: No.
Guy1: That's the spirit!!

Spirit joke, Two guys in a communal shower...

The Truth About The Beatles

John was the brain

Paul was the heart

George was the spirit

Ringo was the drummer

Did you hear about the baby ghost who joined the football team?

He heard the coach say they needed a little team spirit.

Guy: "Ever had a rape fantasy?"

Girl: "No"

Guy: "That's the spirit"


One day in 1960's China...

Mao told his chief of police to send 10,000 intellectuals and a clown to rural exile. The police chief asked "Why the clown?" Mao laughed and said "That's the spirit!"

I always considered myself a Canadian American in spirit

I apologize when I enter an empty room in case the NSA is listening.

How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?

With a Nor-Ouija board.

I asked my girlfriend to play a rape fantasy role-play.

She said "No!" So, I said "That's the spirit!"

I asked my wife if she wanted to play the rape game.

"No. Never." she squealed.

I grinned at her and replied, "That's the spirit!"


Last night I asked my wife if she would like to roleplay rape

"No", she replied.
"That's the spirit"

Do you want to hear a joke about a ghost?

That's the spirit.

What is the spirit animal of a dominatrix?

Pegasus.

Just realized I used my old spirit week shirt from school as a fap rag.

It was my Homecumming shirt

I got my kid baptized yesterday

Priest: Β Do you believe in the Holy Spirit and the holy Catholic church?

Me: I do.

Priest: Do you believe in the communion of saints and the forgiveness of sins?

Me: I do.

Priest: Do you believe in the resurrection of the body andΒ life everlasting?

Me: I do

Priest: Do you hereby indemnify and hold harmless the Catholic church for any sexual misconduct to you and your family for ever and ever amen?

Me: I do--- wait! Hold on!

Priest: Too late! You said it!

What do you call the spirit of a dead chicken?

A poultrygeist.

You guys wanna hear a joke about ghosts?

That's the spirit.

I'm going to teach you how to speak Irish in the spirit of diversity.

Say, "Whale oil beef hooked" quickly.

Bonus: for Australian say, "Good eye might."

Oh, so you want to hear a joke about ghosts?

That's the spirit

I went to a spiritual healer last night... what a load of rubbish

Even the guy in the wheelchair got up and walked out

A new and easy test for COVID-19

Take a glass and pour your favourite spirit, then see if you can smell it.
If you can then you are halfway there.

Then drink it and if you can taste it then it is reasonable to assume you are currently free of the virus.

I tested myself nine times last night and was virus free every time, thank goodness.
I will have to test myself again today, as I have a headache, which can also be one of the symptoms!!!

Watching Queen's Gambit really put me in the holiday spirit. Especially the scene where the player are in the hotel lobby bragging about the matches they won

I love chess nuts boasting in an open foyer

What do you call a dead crackhead?

A methylated spirit.

Happy NY!

I found a ghost who wanted to pose for a photo for me! Unfortunately, it came out horribly underexposed.

The spirit was willing, but the flash was weak.

In the spirit of St. Paddy's...What's Irish and stays out all night?

Paddy O'Furniture

Derby winner Medina Spirit turned down an invite to Mira Lago...

...saying if he wanted to see a horse's ass he would have come in second.

medina spirit was disqualified for a second failed drug test

experts described the horse's urine sample as "funky, cold"

Last week I told a therapist that I was trying to overcome my fear of ghosts.

His answer left me scared since then.


"That's the spirit."

When my spirit feels weak, I turn to the fourth book of the Bible.

After all, there's strength in Numbers.

To cope with stress you either need to have a strong spirit...

...or strong spirits

How is a joke like an animal?

When you dissect it, it dies.

Get it? Because just like when you take apart an animal to see how it works, it obviously can't be alive anymore, by the same logic, picking apart the inner workings of a joke by over-explaining the punchline is going to kill the humorous spirit it carries; it would be ridiculous to expect a cat with its stomach contents spread out across a table to get up and catch a rat, and it would be similarly unfathomable to expect a joke with its punchline spelled out over a dozen lines of text to still produce a guffaw. How anyone...

Want to hear a pun about ghosts? Excellent!

That's the spirit!

Getting spiritual at the bar

A guy walks into a bar and notices a framed picture of a cat hanging behind the bar. "What happened to the picture of Buddha you used to have hanging back there?" he asks the bartender. The bartender replies, "That was Zen, this is Meow."

A spiritualist who'd recently been widowed met a colleague and reported excitedly…..

she'd just received a message from her dead husband - asking her to send him a pack of cigarettes.
"The only thing is," she mused, "that I don't know where to send them."
"Why not?" asked her friend.
"Well, he didn't actually say that he was in Heaven - but I can't imagine he'd be in Hell."

"Hm," responded the friend. "Well, maybe I shouldn't bring this up, but. . . he didn't mention anything about including matches in the package, did he?"

What is Tiger Woods' spirit animal?

Idk, but his wife said he was a Cheetah

What did the spiritual race car driver say to his mother?

I have good car, ma!

Where do spirits buy food?

The ghostery store

When one door closes...

A Spirit Halloween store opens.

God the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit are going on vacation...

God the Father says "Let's vacation in Israel".

God the Son, Jesus, says "Too many bad memories there. Let's vacation in Berkeley."

God the Father says "I'm not into the Mother God, hippy vibe."

The Holy Spirit says "I know, let's go to Rome and visit The Vatican"

God the Father and Son ask - "Why?"

The Holy Spirit shrugs and replies "I've just never been there."

A guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar and has a seat. Before he has a chance to order, a mysterious man in black walks in and whispers into the guy's ear exactly what drink he should order. And then the man mysteriously leaves without another word. "Who the heck was that?" the bartender asks. "No idea. Every time I go to a bar to have a drink he shows up out of nowhere and tells me what to order," the guy says. "I call him my spirit guide."

My love life has been vacant for so long...

... it became a Spirit Halloween.

Broke out the ouija board and asked "is my father's sister's ghost's spirit in the room?"

The board read "say aunt's."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the spirit haunt puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working spirit haley piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes