Spirit Jokes
135 spirit jokes and hilarious spirit puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about spirit that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a good laugh? Read our collection of Spirit Jokes that'll have you chuckling! From Spirit Airlines to Spirit Levels and beyond, we have jokes for every spirit imaginable. So whether you're looking for good vibes or ghoulish fun, these jokes have something for everyone.
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Funniest Spirit Short Jokes
Short spirit jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The spirit humour may include short spark jokes also.
- Joke from my 8 year old daughter for Halloween. Why didn't the ghost like to take showers?
Because it would dampen his spirits. - I'm so proud of my African pen pal. He told me he hasn't had a drink in days. That's the spirit! Keep it up pal.
- Why is there a ring of salt around the rim of a margarita glass? To keep the spirits from escaping.
- A ghost walks into a bar "Sorry sir" the barmen says, "We don't serve spirits after eleven"
- Did you hear about the baby ghost who joined the football team? He heard the coach say they needed a little team spirit.
- A man walks into a graveyard bar "Can I get a beer?" he asks as he walks up to the bar.
"I'm sorry," replies the bartender. "We serve only spirits." - My grandpa once told me he dated Marie Curie. He was attracted to her glowing spirit and radiant personality.
Sadly, their relationship became toxic. - The Truth About The Beatles John was the brain
Paul was the heart
George was the spirit
Ringo was the drummer - The average person has s**... 90 times a year. Man this going to be an epic new years eve!
- After being 3 months sober from drinking, I bought myself a motivational poster to keep my spirits up. "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." -Wayne Gretzky
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Spirit One Liners
Which spirit one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with spirit? I can suggest the ones about ghost and angel.
- "Do you want to hear a joke about ghost?" "Yes."
"That's the spirit!" - Jack Daniels couldn't be here today, But he's here in spirit.
- How does a booze thief make you feel better? He lifts your spirits.
- Why did the ghost get in the elevator? To lift his spirits.
- Feeling down? Try necromancy, it's sure to... raise your spirits.
- I’m not feeling well, so I picked up some dumplings to soup up my spirits.
- How can you tell when a bar is haunted? It's full of Boo's and Spirits.
- Why don't ghosts go out in the rain? It dampens their spirits
- Why was the kleptomaniac clown visiting the liquor store? He was lifting their spirits
- Did you hear about the alcoholic medium? He made all the spirits disappear.
- Why do ghosts like to ride the elevator? It lifts their spirits
happy spoopy day - What is Tiger Woods' spirit animal? Idk, but his wife said he was a Cheetah
- Why are all exorcists alcoholics? Because they can't handle their spirits.
- What do you call prostitutes that only work for spirits? Ghost busters
- I hate it when people talk about their 'spirit animals' It's 2018, you can say fursona.
Holy Spirit Jokes
Here is a list of funny holy spirit jokes and even better holy spirit puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- God took a paternity test He found out he was the father, the son and the holy spirit.
- Since Christians believe that God is The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit Clearly states that Jesus Christ suffered from Tripolar Disorder.
- Apparently I need to listen more in church. Turns out the preacher wasn't talking about Jim Beam when he asked if anyone had been drunk on the Holy Spirit.
- What do you call it when Jesus turns his blood to wine? Holy spirits
- Why did Timmy drink all the communion wine? He wanted to be filled with the Holy Spirit.
- Holy Spirit: "Josepf, Maria is already giving birth to your son and you still don't know the name! Hurry!" Josepf: "Jeesus, I don't knooow."
- May The Force Be With You And with your spirit!
In the name of the Vader, Obi-Wan, and the holy Jedha.... - What did the Holy Spirit get God for his birthday? Omnipresence
- Did you hear when God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit did the 4-legged race? It was like they were a single person.
- What do you call a good drink? Holy spirit
Spirit Animal Jokes
Here is a list of funny spirit animal jokes and even better spirit animal puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the American settler's spirit animal? The groundhog.
- I just found out my spirit animal is a tapeworm Don't ask me how I know, I can just feel it inside of me y'know
- I just realized what Mitch McConnell's spirit animal It's a obese snapping turtle
- What is an environmentalist's spirit animal? The pork-a-pine.
- My spirit animal is the Blue Whale... ...nobody bothers him, doesn't really bother anyone else, eats tons of shrimp everyday and frequents shady massage parlors.
- I was at a party when someone told me my spirit animal was an owl. I was quite the hoot.
- What's Bill Murray's spirit animal? Bill Furray
Spirit Airlines Jokes
Here is a list of funny spirit airlines jokes and even better spirit airlines puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's a ghost's favorite way to travel? Spirit airlines.
- If you play the United video backwards... It looks like someone boarding a Spirit Airlines flight
- I was going to say a joke about Spirit Airlines But jokes about flying Spirit sometimes work, sometimes don't. Just like their airplanes.
- Saw a Steve Jobs doppelganger on a Spirit airlines flight today You could say that he was there, in Spirit.
- I'm currently on a flight with Spirit Airlines..
Teen Spirit Jokes
Here is a list of funny teen spirit jokes and even better teen spirit puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A Hindu candle company has released a "Nirvana" scented candle. It smells like teen spirit.
- Kurt Cobain hated Smells Like Teen Spirit so much... He killed the songwriter
- Why did kurt Cobain kill himself? Because he thought his shotgun smelled like teen spirit!
- How do you know if your wine was made in the 90's? It smells like teen spirit.
Spirit Level Jokes
Here is a list of funny spirit level jokes and even better spirit level puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the carpenter say when his spirit level broke? He literally could not even.
- How can you tell if a carpenter is happy? Check his spirit level.
- How do you flatten a ghost? With a spirit level.
- How do Ghosts lay foundations? With a spirit level!
- What floor do the ghost busters live on? The spirit level.
Happy Spirit Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about spirit you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sphere jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make spirit pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Me: Sometimes I hear a voice and I think it might be an evil spirit, should I be afraid?
**Therapist:** That's actually quite common, sometimes I hear a whiny b**... girly voice.
**Me:** What do you mean?
**Therapist:** There it goes again.
Methylated Spirit
A scruffy homeless man walks into a DIY store.
"Bottle of methylated spirit please."
"Look mate, no offense but I wasn't born yesterday. I can't sell that to you when I know you're just gonna drink it."
"Hey, what are you implying? This is ridiculous, I'm using it for woodwork!"
"All right, all right..." says the shopkeeper, taking a bottle of the shelf.
"Oh, haven't you got a cold one?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Lenin,Stalin and Gorbachev were riding on a train...
When it came to a halt,the engineer said,"Our engine has failed,What shall i do?"."Let the invincible spirit of the people pulls us on!" Lenin declared."Shoot the engineer!" offered Stalin.And Gorbachev suggested, "Close the shades and we can pretend we're moving forward."
What do you say to a motivated ghost?
That's the spirit!
The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are discussing where to holiday...
The Holy Spirit, predictably, suggests Las Vegas, but God says he feels like a change this year.
God suggests Jerusalem, but Jesus vetoes - not after last time...
Jesus suggests The Vatican City. "Sounds good to me." says God. " Yeah I'd like that," says the Holy Spirit, "I've never been."
How do you encourage a bartender?
"That's the spirit!"
How do you discourage a bartender?
Boos.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Spiritual guru met a p**... in forest
the p**... asked if he wanted to have s**... with her. The guru agreed and they have the wildest s**....
After both of them get dressed, the Guru starts walking away from her. The p**... stops him and asks..
p**...: "money?"
Guru: "C'mon, I won't take money from you"
Local Drowning
A hippie drowned at the local beach last night. When asked why the free spirit was unable to be save before his tragic death, a lifeguard commented "He was too far out, man."
Did you hear about the mathematician ghost?
"No"
Well, Its the spirit that counts.
A sales assistant advised me on the liquor to buy for the holiday season recently
She was my spirit guide.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The best thing about flying with Spirit is the legroom
When the plane's about to c**..., you're already in the fetal position.
My friend doesn't like being called Squidward.
He told me, "But I hate SpongeBob..."
I said, "That's the spirit!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A ghost says to his ghostfriend..
"I don't think I'm gonna enter the next ghost-race.."
"Why not?" Asked the ghost-friend.
"Because I've lost every other one!" He cries sullenly.
"I believe in you, so enter the next ghost-race!"
"..Yeah. Yeah! I **can** do this!" Cried the ghost, filled with motivation.
Smug, the ghost friend said;
"That's the spirit!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I asked my wife if she was up for a game of r**...
She said no
I said that's the spirit
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Your momma so s**......
...her spirit animal is the s**....
Since The Simpson's just reached the 600 episode milestone, I'd like to take a moment to remember it's importance to american history ...
Its unwaveringly realistic portrayal of the yellow people's disenfranchisement while pursuing the American Dream is a testament to our nation's tolerant spirit.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old h**... joke
Some time ago, a medium contacted h**...'s spirit by accident. Out of curiosity, he decided to listen to what h**... had to say.
"Listen to my words, you little brat: I'm gonna reincarnate someday, and I'm gonna kill six million Jews and two dogs".
"Why the two dogs?" the medium replied.
"See, nobody cares about the Jews!"
What's the first thing you should do when confronted by an evil spirit?
Try to neghostiate.
What does a college kid do when confronted by an evil spirit?
He drinks it just like he drinks every other kind of spirit.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A father dies and in order to be at his daughter's wedding he possesses a bottle of v**... from the kitchen.
At least he was with them in spirit.
For the valentines spirit
Roses are red violets are blue I am pregnant but it is not from you
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two guys in a communal shower...
Guy1: You wanna play the r**... game?
Guy2: No.
Guy1: That's the spirit!!
Liquor store closed down and now a church moved into the building.
Seems like a different spirit around there!
One day in 1960's China...
Mao told his chief of police to send 10,000 intellectuals and a clown to rural exile. The police chief asked "Why the clown?" Mao laughed and said "That's the spirit!"
I always considered myself a Canadian American in spirit
I apologize when I enter an empty room in case the NSA is listening.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hey Dad, I have this idea for a TV show
"Hey Dad, I have this idea for a TV show. It's like those ghost hunter shows, but instead of idiots walking around in the dark saying, "Is there a spirit in here?", it will be skeptics debunking it, and finding out what's really going on."
"They had a show like that when I was a kid."
"Really? What was it called?"
"s**... Doo."
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Remember that scene from A Christmas Story where the people at the Chinese restaurant were singing "Fa ra ra ra raaa..."?
They were really filled with that no-L spirit.
Why did the spirit medium cross the road?
To contact the "other side".
In the spirit of Easter, I've hidden eggs around the appartment.
In the spirit of April Fools, I'm not telling my roommates.
That's the spirit
A pastor goes to the local farmers market
There a boy is selling dam fish
The boy tells the pastor to buy some of his dam fish. The pastor calls him out on his language, but the boy explains that he caught the fish at the local dam. The pastor buys some me and goes home. When his family is having dinner he tells his wife to pass the dam fish. His son says that's the spirit dad now pass the fu!!ing potatoes.
How do spirits travel long distances?
The ethereal plane.
What does the spirit say to the dirty counter?
I am the clorax
I speak for the bleach.
So there was this place where people would all come..
In harmony, peace and love, and then tell a joke in that spirit.
So you are finally here.
Welcome.
My wife and I broke up
Looking back it just seems silly. We broke up because of our dream vacations of all things.
I always dreamed of going on an Alaskan cruise, whereas she always dreamed of sleeping with my best friend.
In the spirit of compromise I surprised her by suggesting we try both.
The biggest surprise, though, was that we each enjoyed the other's suggestion more.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a dead m**... head?
A methylated spirit.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the spirit animal of a d**...?
Pegasus.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Just realized I used my old spirit week shirt from school as a fap rag.
It was my Homecumming shirt
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One day, when he was visiting family, Sleezy Steve happened to notice his cousin had become very attractive..
Steve: Hey cuz! Wanna play r**... family reunion?
Cousin: What?! No!
Steve: That's the spirit.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I got my kid baptized yesterday
Priest: Do you believe in the Holy Spirit and the holy Catholic church?
Me: I do.
Priest: Do you believe in the communion of saints and the forgiveness of sins?
Me: I do.
Priest: Do you believe in the resurrection of the body and life everlasting?
Me: I do
Priest: Do you hereby indemnify and hold harmless the Catholic church for any s**... misconduct to you and your family for ever and ever amen?
Me: I do--- wait! Hold on!
Priest: Too late! You said it!
What is the one spiritual condition that can never be obtained by blind people?
Enlightenment
I tried to teach a ghost addition. Despite its efforts, in the end, it could only add 1 at a time.
I was disappointed, but I guess it's the spirit that counts.
I'm going to teach you how to speak Irish in the spirit of diversity.
Say, "Whale oil beef hooked" quickly.
Bonus: for Australian say, "Good eye might."
Ed Christie, CEO of Spirit Airlines, walks into a bar.
He says to the bartender Can I have a draft beer?"
The bartender says "Sure thing. That'll be .50¢"
He replies "50 cents? That's really cheap!"
The bartender looks up and finishes with ."....and it'll be $3 for the glass, $4 if you just stand, $8 if you want to sit down, and $3 each time to use the restroom"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A captain enhances his soldiers' spirit before going to battle
He asks Ryan first
\- What is America, you?
\- It is my mother, and I love it more than anything.
\- What would you do for her?
\- I would sacrifice myself, if necessary.
Pleased, he asks Forrest
\- And you, do you love America, soldier?
\- Yes, but actually no, sir.
\- Why is that, soldier?
\- It would be morally wrong, sir. Ryan's mom is married, and I ain't a big fan of m**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Its all about the Spirit!
Only 20 people are allowed during a f**... as the spirit has already left the body.
1000 people are allowed in long queues at a liquor shop as the spirit is still in the bottle.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I went to a spiritual healer last night... what a load of rubbish
Even the guy in the wheelchair got up and walked out
What do you say when you see a stunned ghost buster catch a ghoul?
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
A new and easy test for COVID-19
Take a glass and pour your favourite spirit, then see if you can smell it.
If you can then you are halfway there.
Then drink it and if you can taste it then it is reasonable to assume you are currently free of the virus.
I tested myself nine times last night and was virus free every time, thank goodness.
I will have to test myself again today, as I have a headache, which can also be one of the symptoms!!!
Watching Queen's Gambit really put me in the holiday spirit. Especially the scene where the player are in the hotel lobby bragging about the matches they won
I love chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
What do you call a dead crackhead?
A methylated spirit.
Happy NY!
I had to call a psychic to my house due to strange sightings of a chicken's spirit haunting my home.
He called it a poultrygeist.
I found a ghost who wanted to pose for a photo for me! Unfortunately, it came out horribly underexposed.
The spirit was willing, but the flash was weak.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Derby winner Medina Spirit turned down an invite to Mira Lago...
...saying if he wanted to see a horse's a**... he would have come in second.
A lady suspects her house is haunted and converts it into a tavern...
She was possessed by the entrepreneurial spirit.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
medina spirit was disqualified for a second failed drug test
experts described the horse's u**... sample as "funky, cold"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My dad returned from my grandmas house as a ghost
Dad: Christianity is real, and i'm the new god!
Me: wait, why are you dead?
Dad: some r**... blasted me with his shotgun on my way home!
Me: and how are you the new god?
Dad: i'm a father, son, and a holey spirit
Last week I told a therapist that I was trying to overcome my fear of ghosts.
His answer left me scared since then.
"That's the spirit."
When my spirit feels weak, I turn to the fourth book of the Bible.
After all, there's strength in Numbers.
To cope with stress you either need to have a strong spirit...
...or strong spirits
How is a joke like an animal?
When you dissect it, it dies.
Get it? Because just like when you take apart an animal to see how it works, it obviously can't be alive anymore, by the same logic, picking apart the inner workings of a joke by over-explaining the punchline is going to kill the humorous spirit it carries; it would be ridiculous to expect a cat with its stomach contents spread out across a table to get up and catch a rat, and it would be similarly unfathomable to expect a joke with its punchline spelled out over a dozen lines of text to still produce a guffaw. How anyone...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's a h**... spirit animal?
c**...
There was once a blind finn, deaf dane and a swede, who was in a wheelchair.
They found a bottle whose spirit promised everyone a wish.
The finn wished first, and soon yelled: I CAN SEE I CAN SEE!
then the dane wished, and soon yelled: I CAN HEAR I CAN HEAR!
Then the swede wished, and soon he yelled: NEW TIRES NEW TIRES!
What's the difference between Elvis and a millennial's spirit?
Some people still think Elvis is alive
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Local retailers have stopped selling Russian Standard v**....
That's the spirit!
Getting spiritual at the bar
A guy walks into a bar and notices a framed picture of a cat hanging behind the bar. "What happened to the picture of Buddha you used to have hanging back there?" he asks the bartender. The bartender replies, "That was Zen, this is Meow."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A spiritualist who'd recently been widowed met a colleague and reported excitedly…..
she'd just received a message from her dead husband - asking her to send him a pack of cigarettes.
"The only thing is," she mused, "that I don't know where to send them."
"Why not?" asked her friend.
"Well, he didn't actually say that he was in Heaven - but I can't imagine he'd be in h**...."
"Hm," responded the friend. "Well, maybe I shouldn't bring this up, but. . . he didn't mention anything about including matches in the package, did he?"
What did the spiritual race car driver say to his mother?
I have good car, ma!
