The Best 76 Spilled Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Spilled jokes. There are some spilled spew jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these spilled stir puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Spilled Jokes and Puns

My Grandpa told me this one about a crazy dog

I was out at the golf course the other day and there was a stray dog. It ran over to the shed of golf carts and starting licking up some spilled gasoline. Suddenly it started running around and going crazy then it just stopped and fell over. The lady next to me asked, "What Happened?!?" and i told her, "He must of ran out of gas"

A C and a C++ walk into a bar...

The C spilled his beer all over the C++'s shirt. Outraged, C++ shouted, "Good god, man! Have you no class?"

What did the sea-world trainer's friend say to him after he spilled water on his friends lap?

You did that on porpoise

Spilled joke, What did the sea-world trainer's friend say to him after he spilled water on his friends lap?

My teacher took off points when I spilled my juice on my Calculus homework...

... Apparently, I shouldn't drink and derive.

I spilled coffee all over my Macbook...

...now it won't go to sleep.


I spilled coffee on my laptop.

now it won't go into sleep mode..

When he was arrested, the mafioso was intent on not ratting anyone out. But he had ebola, so...

...he spilled his guts to the cops.

Spilled joke, When he was arrested, the mafioso was intent on not ratting anyone out. But he had ebola, so...

Did you hear about the guy who spilled beer on the ballerina's shoes?

He spilled on to two tutus, too!

(Please give me tips on setup/delivery/any other homage to "buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo." you may have come up with)

My wife called me an alcoholic, and I was so taken aback I spilled my drink...

But I was able to wring out the placemat back into the glass, so everything's ok!

The wife and I take our coffee pretty seriously. While making a pot yesterday I spilled some.

She said that's grounds for divorce.

What did Bob Marley say when he spilled bleech in his washing machine?

Everything's gonna be all white!!

You can explore spilled casserole reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean spilled redbull dad jokes. There are also spilled puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I spilled water on my computer. 0/10.

10/10 with rice.

I knew babysitting my neighbor's son was gonna be a challenge...

The first time I went to babysit, I tripped on the doormat, spilled my coffee, and yelled 'son of a bitch!'

Then the kid poked his head out of his room, and said 'did somebody call?'

I spilled a whole case of forks today.....

...you could say I forked up real bad

I spilled a few forks on the ground today while at a restaurant....

you could say I forked up real bad.

Did you hear about the guy that spilled curry powder in his bed?

Woke up in a Korma

Spilled joke, Did you hear about the guy that spilled curry powder in his bed?

Partied so hard last night I spilled Kool-Aide on my cocaine

Punchline

What did the DJ do when he spilled acid on the floor?

He dropped the base.

What happened to the hippy chemistry teacher when he spilled his chemicals?

He tripped on acid


I spilled spot remover on my dog

Now he's gone.

Goya tried to cover up a disaster at one of their factories

Someone spilled the beans.

Earlier today at a coffee shop, I spilled my drink all over the paper I was working on.

The barista looked over and said, "Well, essay chai tea happens."

I was at a café when a Frenchman spilled water on himself.

It was a pretty l'eau point in his life.

(L'eau is French for water)

What do you call a hispanic man who spilled his nachos?

A messycan

When I was young, I slipped on some spilled beans and broke my spine, paralysing myself...

Oh what I'd have done with Heinzsight.

What did the pope say when he spilled the sacramental wine?

Do we have any papal towels?

What did the t-shirt say when it got bleach spilled on it.

"It's all white"

My mom keeps asking me who made a mess at the dinner table

I spilled the beans

Husband: "Waiter, my wife spilled her water".

Waiter: "No problem, I'll get you another one".
Husband: "Make sure the next one likes sports".

Milk joke

Walmart on a sunday night. Place is dead, my dad and I are stopping to grab some milk. Just a gallon. Go up to the cashier, she rings us up and we pay for it.
"Would you like a bag for that sir?" She asks us
My dad's swift reply: "No I'll keep it in the container, last time I put it in the bag it spilled everywhere."

First post hope you like it. :)

I accidentally spilled my bottle of rum on the floor.

I was let down because I thought I'd be the one getting wasted.

What'd the Secretary of State say when the oil tanker spilled on the seal reserve?

Whale at least it wasn't on porpoise

My roommate seemed like he was in denial when I told him I spilled all his protein powder...

...he just kept saying "no whey, no whey"

Spilt milk

I hate how every time I come home and go to the kitchen my flat mate has spilled milk everywhere. How dairy

I spilled a glass of water the other day

If that's not irony, then I don't know what is.

An elderly couple is having dinner at a restaurant.

The wife spills soup on her blouse and says: "Oh no, I look a pig now."

Her husband responds: "Yeah, and you spilled soup on your blouse."

Snow White once spilled Sprite on herself

So she started changing in front of the dwarves, then they had 7 up

Stopped by the police

I spilled some gas on my sleeve while gassing up one day. Got back on the highway and lit up a smoke and started my sleeve on fire. I put my arm out the window but the flames did not go away. I sped up to 70 then 80 when I noticed the flashing lights behind me. The cop says "looks like I'm going to have to write you a couple of tickets " I said I know I was speeding but what else?"
"Possession of a firearm sir "

I just spilled milk all over my new iPhone.

I could return it in time, once I find the cereal number.

Today morning, I spilled tea on my shirt

It became a T-shirt

My son wouldn't stop crying when he spilled the last Dr. Pepper on his feet.

He was soda feeted.

Did you hear about the cement truck that crashed in a cemetery and spilled into an open grave?

... The plot thickens ...

Some idiot was texting and driving and rear ended my car.

It spilled my beer all over the place.

My girlfriend has a water fetish...

I just spilled a jug of water over her and now she's soaking wet.

An autistic Mexican sees a box of spilled Cheerios...

Spilled some yoghurt on my jeans...

Mm, denim.

I just spilled hot sauce on my sheets.

Earlier today, my friend was in the kitchen and spilled hot queso all over her feet.

Guess she had Tostitos.

What do you call it when a camel cries over spilled milk?

Drama dairy

I spilled all of my peroxynitrite in the middle of an experiment

I was like : " ONOO^- "

One time I tripped and spilled my drink on someone in the middle of a joke they were telling.

I never heard the end of it.

I spilled my drink....

in one fluid motion.

I spilled flour on my coffee machine

one could call it a mealy-machine.

An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist are asked to measure the volume of a pig.

The engineer answers: "we fill a pool to the brim with water, fully immerse the pig, collect the spilled water and measure its weight. The pig will have a volume of 1dm^3 per collected Kg."

The mathematician answers: "we freeze the pig, slice it and integrate the slices' areas to obtain a volume."

The physicist answers: "let P be a spherical, friction-less pig...

Did you hear about the chef who spilled his herbs on the floor?

Cleaning it up was a massive waste of thyme.

I accidentally spilled my coffee on an Indian friend's dress

I told her I'm sari.

I spilled salad dressing on myself today at a wedding.

I felt rather overdressed after that.

What can you say during both sex and a family dinner?

Oops, I spilled on the baby!

An 18-wheeler spilled a load of strawberry preserves on the interstate today

It was a real traffic jam

Right after takeoff, a pilot comes on the microphone to welcome his passengers. Thank you for flying with us. The weather is....

Then he suddenly starts screaming while still on the mic, OH MY GOD! IT IS BURNING!!, IT IS BURNING!

Then silence.

A few seconds later, he comes back on and says, I'm terribly sorry about what happened. I spilled some scorching hot coffee on my lap...you should see my pants!!

A voice from the back of the plane yelled, Why don't you come here and see ours?

A blond sees Cheerios spilled on the floor.

"Oh! Donut crumbs"

A spill

While doing a lab experiment I was listening to music by a band who's bassist was a known drug abuser. During his solo, I slipped on some spilled vinegar & lost my grip on a beaker full of sodium hydroxide.
Looks like while he was tripping on acid dropping the bass, I was tripping on acid dropping the base

A husband and wife are eating at a restaurant

The wife spills a bit of wine on her white top, and exclaims, "Oh no, I look like a pig!"

The husband turns away from the TVs, nods, and says, "And you spilled some wine!"

A Woman goes into a laundromat

The woman says: I spilled salad on it. The Worker, not hearing them, said: Come again?
The woman says: No, not this time, it was salad.

My waiter just spilled coffee all over me.

I know it was just an accident, but I'm still bitter.

What does a Spanish person call spilled noodles?

A derramen.

Bad news: I spilled coffee on my keyboard

Good news: It's all under control

I just spilled my cup...

...and all I got was this tea shirt.

I spilled some coffee on my keyboard,

Now i have no escape.

Today i asked myself the question:

Do I identify myself as a man or a woman. But then I knew after I spilled my coffee, I am just a disappointment.

Before ordering takeout, the Indian guy made himself some piping hot tea, but spilled it on himself.

He got chai knees.

I thought I spilled coffee all over my keyboard.

My keyboard still works fine except one key. The spill was under control.

I grabbed a pack of Oreos out of the cabinet, but I had such a hard time getting them open that the pack suddenly ripped down the side and spilled them all over the floor.

Now they're just Flooreos.

A couple goes to therapy

A couple goes to therapy to discuss their issues.

The therapist asks. So, why are we here today?

The husband quickly try to explain.

So what happened was, that I was cleaning up in the kitchen, while putting something away I spilled a bunch of dried herbs all over the place. My wife then yells for help with folding the sheets in the bedroom and I simply replied.

"I can't right now, I have too much thyme on my hands"

Went out for sushi last night

And a guy spilled a whole bottle of soy sauce on himself. Everyone laughed except me. Don't Kikkoman when he's down

I was out mowing my lawn...

I was out mowing my lawn. When I had to stop and refill the mower with gasoline.

The gas can broke and spilled gasoline into a puddle. I went to get some absorbent to clean up the mess but found the local stray cat had lapped up all that spilled gasoline.

I tried catch it, but it went racing around the block, then back into my yard and right up my tallest tree. Then fell right off the top of the tree.

Feeling bad I took the cat to the vet, the doctor gave the cat an exam and I finally asked, "Is the cat alright?"


The doctor replied, "the cat is fine, it just ran out of gas."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the spilled drips jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working spilled pantry piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes