Spilled Drink Jokes
34 spilled drink jokes and hilarious spilled drink puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about spilled drink that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Spilled Drink Short Jokes
Short spilled drink jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The spilled drink humour may include short spilled coffee jokes also.
- C and C++ walk into a bar... After a few hours, C gets sloppy drunk and spills its drink all over C++. Outraged, C++ shouts, "good God C! Have you no class??"
- My teacher took off points when I spilled my juice on my Calculus homework... ... Apparently, I shouldn't drink and derive.
- My wife called me an alcoholic, and I was so taken aback I spilled my drink... But I was able to wring out the placemat back into the glass, so everything's ok!
- One time I tripped and spilled my drink on someone in the middle of a joke they were telling. I never heard the end of it.
- Guy goes to the doctor Guy: "Doctor, I can't stop my hands shaking"
Doctor:"do you drink a lot?"
Guy: "Not really, I spill most of it" - Earlier today at a coffee shop, I spilled my drink all over the paper I was working on. The barista looked over and said, "Well, essay chai tea happens."
- I've got a drinking problem. Sometimes beer spills out the sides of my mouth when I drink.
- What do you call it when Donald Trump is shrieking at someone for spilling a drink on his tie? A tyrant on a tie-rant.
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Spilled Drink One Liners
Which spilled drink one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with spilled drink? I can suggest the ones about spilled milk and coffee spill.
- What did the man say when he spilled a drink? This one's on me.
- Don't drink & drive. You'll spill your drink.
- I spilled my drink.... in one fluid motion.
- Why don't they make bouncy houses for adults? You'd spill your drink.
- Don't drink and drive because you might spill the drink.
- Be careful not to drink and drive this New Years Eve... You might spill your drink
- Why don't dinosaurs like to spill hot drinks on the sofa? Cos T-Rex it.
- What's the phrase for when a bird spills a drink? Party fowl.
- What did s**... Doo say when he spilled his drink? Rupsi
Spilled Drink Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about spilled drink you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean spilt jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make spilled drink pranks.
Roommates Sarah and Beth invite Mary over for drinks
Roommates Sarah and Beth invite their friend Mary over for drinks. They are drinking wine and having a great time, when Mary spills her drink on her shirt. Mary asks Beth if she could borrow one of her tops. Beth laughs and says you'd never fit in one of my shirts, you're the size of a dinosaur!Try Sarah's tops.
So mark zuckerberg and The Pope walk into a bar...
They sit down when suddenly Mark spills his drink on The Popes' robes. They get into a fight. A film crew recorded them duking it out and made a film out of it...
Alien vs Predator
Offering from the noticeboard of the Linga Longa pub, Gundy, new South Wales
Prayer for Beer:
Our Lager
Which art in barrels
Hallowed be thy drink
Thy will be drunk
At home as it is in the pub
Give us this day out foamy head
And forgive us our spillages
As we forgive those who spill against us
And lead us not into incarceration
But deliver us from hangovers
For thine is the beer
The bitter, the lager
Barmen.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Getting punch at a party.
A drunk stumbles into a party and gets in line to grab a drink from the punchbowl. Upon reaching the terminus, he spills the entire bowl all over the table and those closest to him in line. A bouncer seizes him by the scuff of the neck and angrily declares: "Look what you've done! You've s**... up the punchline!"
My grand father with Parkinson's disease likes yelling this one
So when I was 70, God came up to me and asked if I had to chose between alzeimers or Parkinson's what would it be
I chose Parkinson's because I may spill a bit of my drink, but at least I'll remember where I kept it
*telling not yelling
Alcoholic to God
God meets alcoholic and tells him that he has been doing a lot of wrong things so has to suffer. He tells him he can choose one out of two diseases.
* Parkinson's disease (hand will shake continuously)
* Alzheimer's disease (memory loss)
After thinking for some, he replied that he will go for Parkinson's as it is better to spill half bottle of whiskey and drink only half of it than to forget where the whole bottle was kept.
This feels like it could be a comedy bit, for how different leaders would solve the issue:
Obama: snaps the cookie in half
Putin: Forces the cookie in the glass
Kim Jong-Un: Cookie baker and glass maker are put to death
David Cameron: pours some milk onto the cookie. Doesn't work very well, spills milk. Written into policy anyway.
Someone else: Eats the cookie, then drinks the milk
etc. I don't know enough about politics to make this topical.
If World War One were a bar fight.
Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint. Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so.
Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene. Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium. Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.
Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other. Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria. Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.
Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting. America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a bar stool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself. By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.