The Best 45 Spill Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Spill jokes. There are some spill teaspoon jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these spill seltzer puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Spill Jokes and Puns
Offering from the noticeboard of the Linga Longa pub, Gundy, new South Wales
Prayer for Beer:
Our Lager
Which art in barrels
Hallowed be thy drink
Thy will be drunk
At home as it is in the pub
Give us this day out foamy head
And forgive us our spillages
As we forgive those who spill against us
And lead us not into incarceration
But deliver us from hangovers
For thine is the beer
The bitter, the lager
Barmen.
I saw a woman at the fuel pump spill gasoline on her arm and then light a cigarette.
The police arrested her for waving a firearm.
I spilled coffee all over my Macbook...
...now it won't go to sleep.
Alcoholism doesn't run in my family.
It walks.
You spill less beer that way.
My grand father with Parkinson's disease likes yelling this one
So when I was 70, God came up to me and asked if I had to chose between alzeimers or Parkinson's what would it be
I chose Parkinson's because I may spill a bit of my drink, but at least I'll remember where I kept it
*telling not yelling
I spilled coffee on my laptop.
now it won't go into sleep mode..
Why did I spill root beer on a DNS server?
Just because ICANN.
What did the DJ do when he spilled acid on the floor?
He dropped the base.
I would rather have Parkinson's than Alzheimer's
Because it's better to spill half the glass than forget where you put the liquor.
I spilled spot remover on my dog
Now he's gone.
Know-it-alls think themselves a fountain of knowledge. In truth they are an oil spill of knowledge...
Unwelcome and hard to get rid of.
You can explore spill refried reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean spill swig dad jokes. There are also spill puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Whats the first thing you do when you spill something on your keyboard?
Try to disable sticky keys.
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, What's the word on the street?
Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving little messages around the house.
What do you call it when you spill meth into your cake mix?
Baking Bad
THE CHOICE
GOD APPEARED BEFORE AN IRISHMAN AND SAID, 'FOR YOUR DEVOTION, I WILL GIVE YOU A CHOICE BETWEEN PARKINSONS OR ALZHEIMERS FOR YOUR ELDERLY AFFLICTION.'
THE IRISHMAN SAID,; THATS EASY. PARKINSONS.'
'WHY IS IT EASY?' GOD ASKED
'I'D RATHER SPILL HALF A GLASS OF WHISKEY THAN FORGET WHERE THE BOTTLES ARE.'
Going through customs at a US airport
Customs agent: Do you have anything to declare today?
Me: *starts sweating* ummmmm no. *trips and falls. Hundred of Kinder eggs spill from my pockets, jacket and bag*
Customs agent: GET ON THE FLOOR NOW!
Me: But, I am -
*armed guards swarm around and pin me down*
Armed guards: WHAT'S IN THE EGGS!!!
Me: I don't know, it's a surprise!!
(Sorry if the formatting sucks. On mobile)
I spilled a glass of water the other day
If that's not irony, then I don't know what is.
Why can't you trust fajitas?
Because they tend to spill the beans.
So I was at a film awards event the other night... [nsfw]
I was at a film awards event the other night. I went to the toilet and an actress came out a cubicle with a white mark on her dress. I said to her "Oh did you spill some mayo?" and she replied "No its a Harvey Weinstain"😉
A man rushes to a doctor
Doctor, Doctor. You've got to help me. I just can't stop my hands from shaking.
Do you drink a lot?
Not really. I spill most of it!
I spilled all of my peroxynitrite in the middle of an experiment
I was like : " ONOO^- "
Yesterday, I saw a guy spill all his scrabble tiles on the street..
I asked him, "What's the word on the street?"
"Doctor, I can't stop my hands shaking!"
"Oh, do you drink very much?"
"No, I spill most of it."
John and Peter talk about what's better
Peter: If it were to happen, would you want to have Parkinson's or Alzheimer's?
John: Parkinson's, of course.
Peter: Why is that?
John: I'd rather spill some wiskey than forget where I put the bottle.
Yesterday I saw a man spill scrabble letters on the road
So I asked him, "What's the word on the street?"
Why is Alzheimer's better than Parkinson's?
Because it's no big deal to forget a beer but a tragedy to spill a beer.
Don't drink & drive.
You'll spill your drink.
Rustom was asked by God...
"If you had to choose one, would you pick
- Parkinsons or Alzheimers?"
Rustom thought for a minute,
then chose Parkinsons.
"Why did you choose that?", asked God.
"It's better to spill half a glass of whiskey,
than to forget where the bottles are kept."
A spill
While doing a lab experiment I was listening to music by a band who's bassist was a known drug abuser. During his solo, I slipped on some spilled vinegar & lost my grip on a beaker full of sodium hydroxide.
Looks like while he was tripping on acid dropping the bass, I was tripping on acid dropping the base
Don't drink and drive
You might spill some
Funny indeed
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, "What's the word on the street?"
Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving little messages around the house.
I saw a guy spill his scrabble letters on the road
I asked him "whats the word on the street"
Yesterday, I saw a man spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
I asked him:
"What's the word on the streets?"
My Irish grandfather once fell down two flights of stairs with a pint of whiskey and didn't spill a drop.
The man knew how to keep his mouth shut.
I just spilled my cup...
...and all I got was this tea shirt.
I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
I knelt down to help him pick his letters up.
Then I asked, "What's the word on the street?"
##
Parkinson's or Alzheimer's?
Old man Murphy and old man Sean were contemplating life when Murphy asked, If you had to get one or the other would you rather get Parkinson's or Alzheimer's?
Sure, I rather have Parkinson's , replied Sean
'Tis better to spill a couple of ounces of Jameson whiskey than to forget where you keep the bottle!
Guy goes to the doctor
Guy: "Doctor, I can't stop my hands shaking"
Doctor:"do you drink a lot?"
Guy: "Not really, I spill most of it"
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys
My 31 year old self came up with this one. What do you say when you spill a bowl of guacamole?
Guacward
I spilled some coffee on my keyboard,
Now i have no escape.
I thought I spilled coffee all over my keyboard.
My keyboard still works fine except one key. The spill was under control.
Why did the mathematician spill all of his food in the oven rather than a cooking tray?
The directions said, Put it in the oven at 180° .
What is worst - Alzheimers or Parkinsons?
Alzheimers. Because its better to spill your beer than forget where you put it.
Why can't you trust burritos?
Because they will spill the beans!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the spill bavarian jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working spill slop piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.