sperm Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious sperm puns

A single sperm has 37.5 MB of DNA information in it. That means an average ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1587.5 TB

That's a lot of information to swallow


-wow thanks for the upvotes and gold

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A sperm cell contains about 37.5 MB of information. There are about 100 million sperm cells per ml; the average ejaculation is about 2.25ml, and takes about 5 seconds. This makes the average bandwidth of the human penis 1687 TB/sec

I know, that's a lot of information to swallow.

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The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if I'd like to masturbate in the cup...

I said, "Well, I'm pretty good, but I don't think I'm ready to compete just yet."

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I applied to be a sperm donor and the nurse asked if I could masturbate in the cup...

I told her i'm pretty good but I don't think i'm ready to compete in a tournament yet.

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I got fired from the sperm bank yesterday

Apparently you're not allowed to nudge the nearest co-worker and say, "get a load of this guy" every time someone walks in.

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Milk

Me: Hey, thanks for the glass of milk earlier

Sperm bank employee: What glass of milk

Me: The glass of milk that was sitting on your desk

Sperm bank employee: Oh no

Me: What

Sperm bank employee: You drank my glass of milk


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A single sperm has 37.5 MB of DNA information in it. That means an average ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1587.5 TB

That's a lot of information to swallow...

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Why did the sperm cross the road?

I accidentally put on the wrong sock this morning.

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How do you cancel an appointment with a sperm bank?

Tell them you can't come.

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How do you know when you've got a high sperm count?

When she has to chew before she swallows.

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Politicians are like sperm..

one in a million turn out to be an actual human being.

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Me: When i donate blood i do not extract it myself. A nurse does it for me

Receptionist: Yes, but this is a sperm bank and it doesn't work that way.

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I applied to be a sperm donor and was asked by the nurse if I'd like to masturbate in the cup.

I said 'I'm good but I'm not ready to compete in a tournament yet'

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Went to the sperm clinic earlier

The lady asked 'would you like to masturbate in the cup?'

I replied 'I'm good, I'm not ready to compete in a tournament yet.'

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i wonder if...

a receptionist at a sperm bank ever says "thanks for coming"

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Politicians are like sperm

only 1 in a million turn out to be human

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A 70 year old man went for a sperm test

The Doctor gave him a bottle to collect sperm.


The next day, the man came with the empty bottle and said he tried with his left hand then right hand.
Then his wife tried with her left hand and right
hand. Then his daughter-in-law tried with both
hands & mouth. Then the neighbor's wife &
daughter tried the same way..but could not open
the damn bottle.

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Some people think sperm just magically travels to the penis when in reality there's a whole duct to transport them...

It might not seem like it, but there's a vas deferens between those two.

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Why did the sperm cross the street?

I wore the wrong sock this morning.

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What did one gay sperm say to the other?

How do we get out of this shit?

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A woman and a man standing in an elevator...

The man asks: "Where are you going?"
"I'm going to donate my blood"
"How much do they pay for that" - asks the man
"About $30"
"Wow, all that blood for $30? I'm going to donate sperm now, and the sperm bank is giving me $100". Frustrated, the woman leaves the elevator.
The next day they meets again, and the man says: "Nice to meet you again, where are you heading today?". "Two teh spehm bahnk" - she replies with her mouth full

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I'm thinking of opening a sperm bank and calling it...

"Get a load of this guy"

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My doctor just asked me if I knew my sperm count

"Didn't realise they were that clever"

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Thinking about opening up a sperm bank in New Jersey.

Gonna call it: "Get a load of this guy over here!".

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I just found out sperm banks pay for your sample....

To think I've let all that money slip through my fingers.

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Sperm Bank

At a sperm bank one day, a man walks up with a ski mask and a gun. He points the gun at the lady at the desk.
"Sir.. this is a sperm bank.." says the lady.
"I know. Get out three bottles of sperm" he commanded.
So she obeys and takes out three bottles of frozen sperm.
"Drink it." says the man.

So she wincingly swallows each gulp until they're all empty. Disgusted she takes a look at the man as he takes off his ski mask and pockets his gun.

"See honey? It's not that hard."

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What did one gay sperm say to the other?

How do you find an egg in all this shit?

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My local sperm bank now has a guestbook..

To see who came before you.

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So I was chatting it up with the receptionist at the sperm bank

And I said "You know, I really love this place. I come here all the time."

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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

1 in 3,000,000 have a chance of becoming a human being.

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What do a sperm and a lawyer have in common?

They each have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.

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TIL sperm donors are paid $50 per donation.

It was devastating. Imagine all the money that has slipped through my fingers.

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What do attorneys and sperm have in common?

1 out of 3 million has the potential to be a human being

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Bullies and sperm have in common::

The One-in-a-Million chance of becoming a Human Being.

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Went to the sperm clinic earlier

The lady asked if I'd like to masturbate in the cup?

I said 'I'm good but not ready for competition yet'

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What are the most funny Sperm jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Sperm? Well, here are the best Sperm dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Sperm pick up lines to share with friends.

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