The Best 22 Sperm Count Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Sperm Count jokes. There are some sperm count jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these sperm count puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Sperm Count Jokes and Puns

How do you know when you've got a high sperm count?

When she has to chew before she swallows.

My doctor just asked me if I knew my sperm count

"Didn't realise they were that clever"

How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?

When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.

How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?

Your girl has to chew before she swallows.

There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant...

There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem? Elderly man: Well, I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.


My doctor told me to stop masturbating.

I went to the doctors yesterday and was surprised when he told me i needed to stop masturbating.

"Why, is my sperm count low?"

"No, you just need to let me finish your prostate exam first."

How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?

Your wife has to chew

What is the difference between a blonde woman and a blonde man...

The blonde woman generally has a much higher sperm count.

What is an easy way to tell that you have a high sperm count?

She has to chew before she swallows.

NSFW - How do you know you have a high sperm count?

She chews before she swallows

I just got a Vasectomy...

The urologist gave me a cup and said I had to fill it in 60 days then bring it back for a sperm count. I guess the surgery doesn't make a vas deferens right away...

You can explore sperm count reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sperm count dad jokes. There are also sperm count puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?

Your partner has to chew before they swallow.

Whats the difference between my ex girlfriend and the average man?

My ex has a higher sperm count.

What's the difference between a female and a male blonde?

The female has a higher sperm count.

There is a new machine for testing your sperm count at home

Maybe I could use it to check my daughter's saliva sample

I tried to donate sperm once, but they didn't accept it ...

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They said it had to be my own, and farting it into the cups doesn't count.

An 85 year old man had to go to the doctor for a sperm count.

Sperm Count

How can a man tell when his sperm count is elevated?
His girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.

Proven scientific fact a males sperm count is reduced when vacuuming..

Nationwide it has affected 3 people.


How do you count sperm?

With an Ejaculator.

How do you know if Dr. Dre has a high sperm count?

Eminem has to chew before swallowing.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the local football team?

A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the sperm count jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working sperm count piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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