Spelled Jokes

What are some Spelled jokes?

Why is 'dark' spelled with a k and not c?

Because you can't see in the dark.

Ba-dum-tss

Why isn't "dark" spelled a "c", instead of a "k"

Because you can't see in the dark.

You've all been wonderful.

So God's getting ready to go on vaction...

And he's packing his bag and an angel comes up and asks, "So, where are you going to go for your vacation?" And God says, "Huh, not Earth again, last time I went there I got this Jewish girl pregnant and they haven't stopped talking about it since!'

My friend tried to convince me "whey" is spelled "whfey"

There's no f in whey

Old Macdonald...

...spelled "redirection" without any consonants.

Entrance Exam

A recent entrance exam for Medical School included several questions that would determine eligibility.

One of the questions was "Rearrange the letters P N E S I to spell out an important part of the human body that is more useful when erect."

Those who spelled 'spine' became Doctors.

The rest ended up in Congress.

What word in the dictionary is always spelled wrong?

Wrong.

Medical School Entrance Exam...

When I was young (100 yrs. Ago) and my intent was to go to medical school, the entrance exam included several questions that would determine eligibility.



One of the questions was "Rearrange the letters P N E S I to spell out an important part of the human body that is more useful when erect."



Those who spelled "SPINE" became Doctors. The rest ended up in Congress.

What is False Information spelled backwards?

False Information

My cat freaked out when I told him he was adopted.

Granted, I spelled it out on the floor with a laser pointer.

What word is always spelled incorrectly?

Incorrectly.

I'll see myself out.

Poor Ajmal.

After playtime, Ms Wilson asks some of her kindergarten kids what they did during playtime.
"What did you do at playtime Tom?"
"I played in the sandpit" said Tom.
"Very good, if you can spell sand, I'll give you a cookie!"
Tom spelled sand and was given a cookie by Ms Wilson.
"What did you do at playtime Sally?"
"I played in the sandpit with Tom" said Sally.
"That's nice, if you can spell pit, I'll give you a cookie!"
Sally spelled pit and was given a cookie by Ms Wilson.
"What did you do at playtime Ajmal?"
"I tried to play in the sandpit, but Sally and Tom threw rocks at me!" said Ajmal.
"That sounds like blatant racial discrimination, If you can spell blatant racial discrimination I'll give you a cookie!".

Why is 'dark' not spelled like 'darc'?

Because you can't c in the dark!

If everyone spells your sons name wrong...

Then you spelled your sons name wrong

I saw a very large woman in a bar wearing a T-shirt that said 'I'm a Man-Eater'

I walked up to her, shot her a grin and she told me "Let me guess, you've got a joke about how many men I've eaten?"
I simply told her she spelled manatee wrong.

Why is dark spelled with a k, and not a c?

Because you can't see in the dark.

Courtesy of my 14 year old this evening.

A Woman Walks Into A Cafe

A woman goes to a cafe and takes a seat outside. While she's eating, she overhears a group of men at the next table.

"Look, let's go with the simple option. It's spelled W-O-O-M."

"No, I'm sure there's an R in there. W-O-O-M-R."

"I thought it was longer than that, and had a B. W-O-O-M-M-B-R-R."

Finally the woman has had enough. She walks over to the table and says, "Gentleman, the word you're looking for is W-O-M-B, womb." With that she walks off, the men staring after her.

Finally, one of the men turns back to the others. "Do you think she's right?"

"Of course not. A slip of a girl like that, I don't suppose she's ever heard an elephant fart."

A man is locked in a room with no doors or windows...

The only thing in there with him is a red marble and a blue marble.

He says, well, I have a red marble and I have a blue marble, and two haves make whole. And so he uses that whole to climb out.

You say, That's stupid. It's two *halves* that make a whole, not two 'haves.' And anyway a 'whole' isn't spelled the way he's using it.

Now that you pointed out the hole in his reasoning, he climbs out through that.

Today a woman called me "the most sexist man she'd ever met"

When will these dumb broads understand that "sexiest" is spelled with two E's and not one?

What's the difference between a word that's spelled the same forwards and backwards and your friend in Italy?

One's a palindrome and one's a pal in Rome

What word in the dictionary is spelled incorrectly?

incorrectly

Why is *traveled* spelled *travelled* by the British?

Because they traveled home with that *L* in 1776

A man and his wife were driving their RV across Florida

... and were nearing a town spelled K- I -S- S- I -M -M -E -E. They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it.-- KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME.

They grew more perplexed as they drove into town. Since they were hungry, they pulled into somewhere to eat. At the counter, the man said to the waitress, "My wife and I can't figure out how to pronounce this place. Will you tell me where we are, and pronounce it very slowly so that I can understand?"


The waitress looked at him and said..."Buuuurrrrggggeeeerrrr Kiiinnngggg."

Okay, Lama spelled with one 'L' is a holy man in Tibet. With two 'L's, a llama is a South American pack animal.

So, what is a three 'L' lama?

A big fire in Boston.

If I ever have a daughter I want to name her Noe.

It would be pronounced like Noel and spelled the same but with no 'L'.

Why was the spelling bee cancelled?

One of the participants spelled disaster.

One of the Monty Python team has invented an unmanned aircraft that does sky-writing that's spelled the same backwards as forwards...

It's a Palin drone...

Coffee spelled backwards is "eeffoc".

Just know that I don't give eeffoc until I've had my morning coffee.

Saul Epstein was taking an oral exam in his English as a Second Language class...

Saul was asked to spell "cultivate," and he spelled it correctly.
He was then asked to use the word in a sentence, and, with a big smile,
responded: "Last vinter on a very cold day, I vas vaiting for a bus, but
it vas too cultivate, so I took the subvay home."

Why is it spelled "Cancelled" if you're British but "Canceled" if you're American?

Because America gave Britain that L in 1783

What is the only word in an English dictionary spelled incorrectly?

Incorrectly is the only word spelled

I n c o r r e c t l y

Why is darK spelled with 'K'and not with 'C'

Coz you cant 'C' in dark

Little Timmy is asked by his teacher " Timmy how do you spell school?"

Timmy responds " S K O O L ".....
The teacher says " that is not correct . It's spelled S C H O O L ". ......
Little Timmy replies " Well , you asked how I spelled it"

Did you know Pinot Noir is actually spelled Pinot Noi?

There's technically Noir.

Why is Hillary spelled with 2 L's?

One for 2008 and one for 2016.

What is the only word spelled with a single K?

Potassium!

The only time the word "incorrectly" isn't spelled incorrectly...

...is when it's spelled incorrectly.

Homonym Study

When it comes to an improperly placed hominem, is it the right word spelled wrong or the wrong word spelled right?

A teacher asked me why my daughter's name was so weird...

She asked why I had spelled it like E.M.M.A instead of just Emma, and I said that it describes the phrase that I told people when I let them know my SO was pregnant,

"Everyone. Makes. Mistakes. Alright?"

Once in school, I spelled redundant wrong

The teacher made me write it 500 times as a punishment.

Whenever you're feeling sad, just remember...

That "sad" spelled backwards is "das".

And das not good.

Oh?

Diputsrepus looks pretty stupid, but spelled backwards it is super stupid

In response to /u/WisestAirBender, "Backwards" is also a palindrome.

"Backwards" spelled backwards is "Sdrawkcab", which is still backwards.

Did you know Canada was initially spelled Cnd?

But when they pronounced it, the word came out "C-eh" "N-eh" "D-eh"

Why is it spelled cancelled in the UK, but canceled in the US?

Because the US handed the L back to the UK in 1776.

Disaste.

Phew, that almost spelled disaster.

My friend spelled okay wrong. . .

It's not okay.

I nearly dropped my game of scrabble

It could've spelled disaster if I actually did

Did you know Canada was originally going to be called "CND"?

When they were asked to spell it, they spelled it: C-eh. N-eh. D-eh.

Racecar spelled backwards...

Isn't racecar anymore. It's backwards

Hamurabi was originally spelled with two "I"s ... but you know...

an "I" for an "I"

What word in the English dictionary, which word, unless spelled incorrectly is always spelled incorrectly

Incorectly.

>*(Source: Cortana)*

Using a Ouija board, I tried to communicate with the dead. It spelled out "Ah ah ah yeah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive"...

Must have bought a Bee Gee board by mistake...

Hi, my name is Typo!

It's spelled 'Tpyo'.

How to make Spelled jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Spelled to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Spelled? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Spelled pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes