The Best 85 Spell Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Spell jokes. There are some spell witch jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these spell magical puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Spell Jokes and Puns

If the Klu Klux Klan leaders are wizards, why don't they cast a spell to kill all those that oppose them?

Because they don't have access to black magic.

I've often heard that "icy" is the easiest word to spell

Looking at it now, I see why

Careful, this is an alphabet bomb!

If it goes off, it could spell disaster!

Spell joke, Careful, this is an alphabet bomb!

I accidently swallowed some scrabble tiles

My next dump could spell disaster

Medical School Entrance Exam...

When I was young (100 yrs. Ago) and my intent was to go to medical school, the entrance exam included several questions that would determine eligibility.



One of the questions was "Rearrange the letters P N E S I to spell out an important part of the human body that is more useful when erect."



Those who spelled "SPINE" became Doctors. The rest ended up in Congress.


Entrance Exam

A recent entrance exam for Medical School included several questions that would determine eligibility.

One of the questions was "Rearrange the letters P N E S I to spell out an important part of the human body that is more useful when erect."

Those who spelled 'spine' became Doctors.

The rest ended up in Congress.

Poor Ajmal.

After playtime, Ms Wilson asks some of her kindergarten kids what they did during playtime.
"What did you do at playtime Tom?"
"I played in the sandpit" said Tom.
"Very good, if you can spell sand, I'll give you a cookie!"
Tom spelled sand and was given a cookie by Ms Wilson.
"What did you do at playtime Sally?"
"I played in the sandpit with Tom" said Sally.
"That's nice, if you can spell pit, I'll give you a cookie!"
Sally spelled pit and was given a cookie by Ms Wilson.
"What did you do at playtime Ajmal?"
"I tried to play in the sandpit, but Sally and Tom threw rocks at me!" said Ajmal.
"That sounds like blatant racial discrimination, If you can spell blatant racial discrimination I'll give you a cookie!".

Spell joke, Poor Ajmal.

Why could the witch never get the enchantments right?

She forgot to use Spell Check.

I'm sorry about your parents, but no spell can reawaken the dead, Harry!

Except for the time turner. We'll use that to save Buckbeak.

Spelling errors in quotations make me sic.

Why do all polish names end in ski?

Because they can't spell toboggan
(This joke brought to you by a 90 yr old polish man I take care of at a nursing home)

You can explore spell sorceress reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean spell hex dad jokes. There are also spell puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I don't know how to spell Armaggedon

But who cares - it's not the end of the world!

What do you put in a toaster joke

Spell roast five times, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t.
What do you put in a toaster?
I usually put bread in a toaster.

How does Bono spell color?

With or without "u"

A group of primary school students were participating in a local spelling bee.

A keen young boy steps before the judges and is told, "Your word is spider."

Not quite sure as to how to spell it, the boy asks, "Could you please use it in a sentence?"

A judge replies, "A spider has eight eyes."

The boy then states, "S-P-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-D-E-R."

A blonde woman finds a dead body...

Immediately, she calls the police.

She says, "Hello, I have found a dead body"

The 911 operator replies, "Ok. Thank you for letting us know. Can you tell me the street on which you found it?"

She looks around and says, "Eucalyptus Street"

The operator asks, "Can you spell it for me?"

The blonde women thinks, and tells the operator, "Don't worry, I'll just move it to Smith Street"

Spell joke, A blonde woman finds a dead body...

A mummy calls a restauraunt.

- Hello, I'd like to reserve a table for the pharaoh Sakhrakhotep I.
- Could you spell it out, please?
- Of course. Bird, two triangles, wavy line, the sun, bird again, jackal's head and a scarab.

A teacher asks her student about his favorite tree...

Teacher: "Bob, which tree do you love most?"

Bob: "The eucalyptus is pretty"

Teacher: "That's nice. How do you spell eucalyptus?"

Bob: "Yep, can't go wrong with a good solid oak"

A redneck's father passed away in his sleep

So in the morning, he calls 911 to come pick up the body.

The 911 operator told him that she would send someone out right away.

"Where do you live?" asked the operator.

He replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."

The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?

There was a long pause and finally he said, "How 'bout if I drag him over to Oak Street and you pick him up there?"


Discrimination

Three first-graders are flunking their class. The teacher calls them in and tells them: "I will ask you one question each, if you can answer it, you pass."

"Jim, how do you spell 'Cow'?"

"Jack, how do you spell 'Car'?"

"Muhammad, how do you spell 'Racial discrimination'?"

How do you spell candy with two letters?

C and Y

How do u spell candy w only 2 letters

c and y

A girlfriend and boyfriend are talking...

The girl says, "hey John, how do you spell 'pedophilia?'" He responds, "gosh honey, why do you need to know? That's an awfully big word for an 8 year old."

A pharaoh makes a reservation in a restaurant:

"Can I reserve a table for two?"

"Sure just give me a name."

"Semerkhet."

"Would you spell it for me?"

"Bird, double triangle, wavy line, another bird, dog head, sun, scarab..."

I accidentally swallowed a handful of Scrabble tiles...

My next bowel movement could spell disaster.

Rita found her husband hanging in his bedroom one morning with a note on his bed reading I can't take the critism anymore.

She quickly cut the rope, brought him down and managed to revive him.

As her husband lay in her arms and slowly opened his eyes, she said emotionally my dear…that's NOT how you spell criticism!

Don't spell part backwards

It's a trap

I found my son hanging from a rope in his bedroom.

On the floor was a note saying, "I can't stand the critism anymore."

I quickly cut him down, gave him CPR and he started to breathe.

As he lay in my arms I saw his eyes slowly open and I said, "That's not how you spell criticism."

Do you know why Oklahoma's state slogan is "Oklahoma is OK"?

Because they can't spell "mediocre".

I cant spell armegedon.

Oh well it's not the end of the world.

A Driver gets Pulled Over

A man driving home from the bar gets pulled over by a police officer.

Officer: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

Driver: "I'm guessing you think I was drunk driving."

Officer: "Tell you what, my shift is ending so if you can spell the alphabet backwards, I'll let you go."

Driver: (very quickly) "ZYXWVUTSRQPONMLKJIHGFEDCBA."

Officer: "Wow, I couldn't do that sober."

Driver: "Me neither."

"Your next spelling word is: beheaded."

Can you use it in a sentence please?

"Sure, Kathy Griffin beheaded to the unemployment office."

ISIS has reportedly starting putting bombs in cans of alphabet soup

If any go off, it could spell disaster

I just ate a load of scrabble tiles.

Now I'm terrified my next trip to the toilet will spell disaster.

"I'd like a spell to make me famous," he said.

"OK," said the witch.

He burned for a week before he died. It was the talk of the kingdom.

"Tony, can you spell your name backwards?"

Tony: sure... y not

At the spelling bee

Judge: Your word is "there."

Me: In a sentence please.

Judge: They're parking their car over there.

Bubba Calls 911

Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. 'Where do you live?' asked the operator.
Bubba replied, 'At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.'
The operator asked, 'Can you spell that for me?'
There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, 'How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?'

A Pharoah makes a reservation at a ski resort...

Pharaoh: I'd like to make a reservation for two please.

Attendant: Absolutely. Can I get your name please.

Pharoah: "Neferneferuaten"

Attendant: ...can you spell that out for me?

Pharaoh: Bird, double triangle, wavy line, dog head, more bird, flames..."

Jack calls an ambulance for his friend who has been hit by a car

The operator asks for his location.

Jack says I'm outside 28 Eucalyptus Road .

The operator knows there is no room for error and for clarity asks, "How do you spell that?"

There's shuffling and sounds of straining at the other end of the phone. Jack? says the operator, concerned. More shuffling and grunting.

Sorry about that says Jack. I just dragged him 'round to 1 Oak Street

A cyclops was doing a crossword puzzle and asked his wife, "Hun, how do you spell Hawaii?"

Biting her lip, she replied, "I think you need 2 'i's."

To spell Panda

You just need P and A

Why is 'dark' spelled with a k and not c?

Because you can't see in the dark.

Ba-dum-tss

How do you get better at spelling?

Practiss, practise, practice.

What do witches use most on their phone?

Spell check

The only way to spell incorrectly correctly

Is to spell it incorrectly.

To spell Panda, all you need is

P and A

I have an Eastern European friend who fixes my language mistakes...

My personal spell Czech.

If everyone spells your sons name wrong...

Then you spelled your sons name wrong

I saw biggish girl at the pub last night,

Her t shirt said "watch out I'm a man eater!"

I went up to her and said " excuse me, love ... About your t shirt slogan."

She interrupted me and angrily snapped " oh let me guess: you want to know how many man I've eaten? Well, you know what, I can't help my size."

I said "Actually, no, I wasn't going to say that at all. "

She looks happier and smiled as she said "Oh yes, what did you what to say then?"

"That's not how you spell manatee."

Don't leave alphabet soup cooking on the stove unattended.

It could spell disaster.

All of my friends told me that 'icy' is the easiest word to spell. And after looking at it...

**I see why.**

A cyclops and his wife looking for their prefect holiday destination

Cyclobs: How do you spell Hawaii?

Wife: Well... You need two i's...

Cyclobs (putting the pen down): My life is just a joke to you isn't it, Linda?

I ate a bunch of scrabble pieces earlier

So going to the bathroom could spell disaster

Why did karl marx always spell his name in lowercase letters?

Because he wanted to abolish all forms of capital

How do pirates spell Thicc?

With seven Cs.

Why is 'dark' not spelled like 'darc'?

Because you can't c in the dark!

How do French people spell weed?

Oui'd

Trump was out walking on a beautiful snowy day, when he saw that somebody had urinated on the White House lawn to spell out "The President Sucks."

Infuriated, Trump called on the secret service to figure out who had done it. In a few hours, they came to him and told him that there was some bad news and some worse news.

"The bad news is that the urine is from Putin."

"Vlad? How could he do this to me? What could be worse than this?"

"The handwriting's is Melania's."

They say "icy" is one of the easiest words to spell;

i c y

So what if I can't spell 'Armageddon'

It's not the end of the world

An Aussie phones an ambulance because his mate's been just hit by a car

Aussie: Get an ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose and ears and I think both his legs are broken.

Operator: What is your location sir?

Aussie:On Eucalyptus Street.

Operator: How do you Spell that sir?

Silence..... (heavy breathing) and after a minute or so...

Operator: Are you there sir?

More heavy breathing and another minute later...

Operator: Sir, can you hear me?

This goes on for another few minutes until...

Operator:Sir, please answer me. Can you still hear me?

Aussie: Yes, sorry bout dat... I couldn't spell
eucalyptus, so I just dragged him around to Oak Street.

I was told I should rearrange my mood.

But that could spell my doom.

If the Klu Klux Klan leaders are wizards, why don't they cast a spell to kill all those that oppose them?

I guess it's because they don't have access to black magic...

Ok so I can't spell Armageddin

It's not the end of the world though is it?

How do you spell Canada, eh?

C, eh?

N, eh?

D, eh?

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.

My next vowel movement could spell disaster.

Learnt an interesting fact today..... If you spell "Absolutely Nothing" backwards, you get "Gnihton Yletulosba" which actually means.........

........... Absolutely Nothing!!

What do you get when you spell man backwards?

PTSD

So what if I can't spell "armagedon" correctly ?

Its not the end of the world.

What the worst thing about being an illiterate wizard?

You can't spell.

Sorry for the spelling/grammer mistakes

My first language is English.

"911, what's your emergency?"

Drunk redneck, "Send help, my buddy just fell and hit his head on the sidewalk. He's bleed'n like a stuck hog!"

911, "Okay sir, what's your location?"

Drunk redneck, "We're at the corner of Sycamore and Vine."

911, "Okay sir, I'm going to need you to spell that for me. "

Drunk redneck, "Si.....Sy...ah! screw it! I'll drag him on down to Maple you can pick him up there!"

Why is 'dark' spelled with a k and not a c?

Because everyone knows you can't c in the dark.

At the Spelling bee

Judge: Your word is 'Invulnerable'.

Me: I-N-V-U-

Judge: I am pretty awesome.

I asked my wife, How do you spell invulnerable?

She said, I-N-V-U..

I said, Everyone does, because I'm awesome!

If you spell gender backwards...

...you might be a redneg.

I have an alphabet grenade.

If it goes off, it could spell disaster.

I ate a bunch of Scrabble tiles. I went to the doctor and he said:

"Your next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster."

Once there was a tribe ruled by an evil witch doctor.

Whenever someone spoke up against his reign, he used his magic to turn them into an apple. One day, a small group of tribesmen had enough and decided to steal the witch doctor's magic spell book and turn him into an apple. However, the book said that if the mass of the apple ever changed too much, the spell would be broken and the witch doctor would kill them all. So each morning, they carefully measured the apple to make sure it had not changed. Proving that...

a weigh a day keeps the doctor an apple.

My son's dyslexic, and every year at Christmas, he gets all excited and writes his little list of all the presents he wants, and then he goes and sends it off to Satan.

Well, actually I send it off to Satan because he can't spell.

The journalist asked, "Excuse me, is it true that quantum computing could spell the end of civilization as we know it?"

The scientist replied:

"Yes ... and no. It's a bit uncertain."

There's 3 things that I hate

1- Hipocrisy

3- Lists

4- and people who don't know how to properly count

5- people who can't spell

Spelling bee judge: "Your word is 'seaward'."

Contestant: "C-U-N..."

Judge: "DEAR GOD PLEASE STOP."

How do you spell Darwin Awards?

S-t-u-r-g-i-s

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the spell godammit jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working spell magic piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes