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Spell Jokes

188 spell jokes and hilarious spell puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about spell that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Do you love the magic of the Harry Potter world? Want to have a little fun with spellcasting and sorcery? Look no further than this compilation of spell jokes and puns! Laugh along with all the clever variations of popular magical spell words like Expecto and Harriet, and get ready to have a magical time.

Funniest Spell Short Jokes

Short spell jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The spell humour may include short spelt jokes also.

  1. If you take the first two letters of the title of each the 7 harry potter books, it spells out a secret message HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
  2. I just discovered that the word 'nothing' is a palindrome... Backwards it spells 'gnihton', which also means nothing.
  3. I accidentally swallowed a handful of scrabble tiles... My next bowel movement could spell disaster.
  4. Spelling bee judge: "Your word is 'seaward'." Contestant: "C-U-N..."
    Judge: "DEAR GOD PLEASE STOP."
  5. One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage I accidentally texted my wife I'm having a wonderful time. I wish you were her.
  6. This is a bit wordy… I accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles, and now I'm experiencing some unexpected vowel movements. The next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
  7. I've often heard that icy is one of the easiest words to spell. Looking back at it now, I see why.
  8. I asked my wife, How do you spell invulnerable? She said, I-N-V-U..
    I said, Everyone does, because I'm awesome!
  9. Teacher: how do you spell 'crocodile' Kid: K-R-O-K-I-D-I-A-L.
    Teacher: no, that's wrong.
    Kid: no, I'm right. Other people might spell it differently but you asked how I spell it.
  10. Why isn't "dark" spelled a "c", instead of a "k" Because you can't see in the dark.
    You've all been wonderful.

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Spell One Liners

Which spell one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with spell? I can suggest the ones about pitch and phrase.

  1. I've often heard that "icy" is the easiest word to spell Looking at it now, I see why
  2. Why is 'dark' spelled with a k and not c? Because you can't see in the dark.
    Ba-dum-tss
  3. Don't spell part backwards It's a trap
  4. I think i misspelled camoflage . It is actually spelled
  5. Why can't a dyslexic be a witch? You need to be good at spelling.
  6. I accidently swallowed some scrabble tiles My next dump could spell disaster
  7. How do you spell candy with two letters? C and Y
  8. How do you spell Canada, eh? C, eh?
    N, eh?
    D, eh?
  9. My friend tried to convince me "whey" is spelled "whfey" There's no f in whey
  10. "Tony, can you spell your name backwards?" Tony: sure... y not
  11. Strap-on backwards spells No-parts.
  12. Old Macdonald... ...spelled "redirection" without any consonants.
  13. I cant spell armegedon. Oh well it's not the end of the world.
  14. What the worst thing about being an illiterate wizard? You can't spell.
  15. Why could the witch never get the enchantments right? She forgot to use Spell Check.

Say Spell Say Jokes

Here is a list of funny say spell say jokes and even better say spell say puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A woman on a dating site sent me a message saying, "Wow! Your gorgeous, how come your still single?" "It's spelled 'you're'," I replied.
  • People often say icy is the easiest word to spell and looking at it now... I see why
  • I bought a bunch of oranges and spelled "hi" with them. I was then told that was *not* how you say "HI" in Mandarin....
  • They say "icy" is one of the easiest words to spell; i c y
  • A kid goes up to his father and asks for a bicycle. His dad says, "If you can spell it out correctly, I'll get you one."
    The kid thinks for a bit, then says, "Can I get a car instead?"
  • Lol Spell IHOP then say NESS.
  • Childish immature jokes are the best * Step 1: say "eye"
    * Step 2: spell the word "map"
    * Step 3: say "nus"
    * Now say that all together...
  • You are Spell imap then say ness
  • They say that a good thing to do when you're going down on a woman is to spell your name. But I don't want her to know it.
  • How to spell "me" A man walks up to a woman and asks her to spell the word "ME" for him. She says, "M-E". The man says, "But you forgot the D!" "But there's no "D" in "ME"!" He says, "Not yet.."

Casting Spell Jokes

Here is a list of funny casting spell jokes and even better casting spell puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What is a spell that you can learn with a frying pan? Cast Iron.
  • Did you hear about the witch that was casting spells and driving at the same time? She turned her car into a tree.
  • Which singer has problems casting spells? Barry Mana Low
  • What is a chefs favorite earth spell? Cast iron
  • What do you call a witch who can't decide between casting good spells or bad spells? Trans-hex-ual
  • What spell does America cast every time they invade a country in the Middle East? Expecto Petroleum
  • I cast a spell on a girl today and it actually worked! I focused in on the girl and said "Virginus Protectus."
    It worked because she walked away with a terrified look on her face.
  • Why did the Spanish Mage never cast a spell? Because his MPnada
  • Why couldn't the ocean mage cast a spell? He forgot to drink his manatee.
  • What spell did the magician cast when he wanted a seat that doubled as a conservative commentator? Bench-appear-o!
Spell joke, What spell did the magician cast when he wanted a seat that doubled as a conservative commentator?

Harry Potter Spell Jokes

Here is a list of funny harry potter spell jokes and even better harry potter spell puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If you take the first two letters of the title of all the Harry Potter movies, it spells out a secret message # HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA
  • Why couldn't harry potter feel the magic? Because he was having a dry spell
  • Oscar Pistorious That sounds like a spell Harry Potter uses to make your legs fall off
  • "Pistorius" sounds like a spell Harry Potter would have use to make someone's legs disappear. This is Frankie Boyles joke, not mine
  • What spell does Harry Potter use to treat a stuffy nose? Expectorant Proboscis!
  • why don't women get pregnant in harry potter because they use a spell called fetus deletus
    not my original joke btw i got it from vikkstar123
  • What spell does Harry Potter use when he gets a girl pregnant? FETUS DELETUS!!
  • What's a rappers favorite Harry Potter spell? Expecto Petrón
  • What magic spell does Harry Potter use at the bar? Expecto Patronum
  • What's the spell on Harry Potter's universe that makes you wet? Emma Wetson

Spell Check Jokes

Here is a list of funny spell check jokes and even better spell check puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do witches use most on their phone? Spell check
  • Here are two steps to take if you are ever stuck on a desserted island. Step 1: Check spelling.
    Step 2: If correct, enjoy.
  • Steps on how to survive being stranded on a dessert island. 1) Check spelling.
    2) If correct, enjoy.
  • Microsoft has hired a new project manager: Hermione Granger... She's in charge of spell-check.
  • What does a witch use to see if her spells are going to work? Spell check!
  • This book of incantations is useless. The author failed to run a spell check.
  • Why did the wizard's incantation fail? He forgot to use spell check
  • My dad said i could carve pumpkins on the kitchen table. So i did as he said. When he came back to check up on me, he yelled, you ruined the table! And you spelled pumpkins wrong!
  • The FBI has my money!!!!!!!!and Apparently they don't use spell check
  • The state of the uniom was awesome. Wait, the spell checking machine is 🅱roke

Magic Spell Jokes

Here is a list of funny magic spell jokes and even better magic spell puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I learned an evil magic spell to make readers feel great despair with only 3 words. Awkward childhood memories.
  • How do you spell badly? With a broken magic wand.
  • My car knows how to do magic! The only spell it knows is Expecto Petroleum
  • What is a black man's favourite magic spell? Expecto Neglecto.
  • What do you call an insect with magical powers? A spelling bee.
  • If the Klu Klux k**... leaders are wizards, why don't they cast a spell to kill all those that oppose them? Because they don't have access to black magic.
  • If the Klu Klux k**... leaders are wizards, why don't they cast a spell to kill all those that oppose them? I guess it's because they don't have access to black magic...
  • Why does the k**... wear those pointy hats? White Wizard Hat: +10 to racist spells, -15 to black magic. It's all about the stats, man.
  • ....magical blonde wizard wlaks ito a bra **blonde:** ...where's my spell checker?
  • If the leader of the k**... is a wizard, why can't they kill people with spells? They don't have access do dark magic
Spell joke, If the leader of the k**... is a wizard, why can't they kill people with spells?

Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Spell Jokes

What funny jokes about spell you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean spin jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make spell pranks.

Careful, this is an alphabet bomb!

If it goes off, it could spell disaster!

Spelling Errors?

I don't do that typo thing.

Medical School Entrance Exam...

When I was young (100 yrs. Ago) and my intent was to go to medical school, the entrance exam included several questions that would determine eligibility.

One of the questions was "Rearrange the letters P N E S I to spell out an important part of the human body that is more useful when e**...."


Those who spelled "SPINE" became Doctors. The rest ended up in Congress.

Entrance Exam

A recent entrance exam for Medical School included several questions that would determine eligibility.
One of the questions was "Rearrange the letters P N E S I to spell out an important part of the human body that is more useful when e**...."
Those who spelled 'spine' became Doctors.
The rest ended up in Congress.

Poor Ajmal.

After playtime, Ms Wilson asks some of her kindergarten kids what they did during playtime.
"What did you do at playtime Tom?"
"I played in the sandpit" said Tom.
"Very good, if you can spell sand, I'll give you a cookie!"
Tom spelled sand and was given a cookie by Ms Wilson.
"What did you do at playtime Sally?"
"I played in the sandpit with Tom" said Sally.
"That's nice, if you can spell pit, I'll give you a cookie!"
Sally spelled pit and was given a cookie by Ms Wilson.
"What did you do at playtime Ajmal?"
"I tried to play in the sandpit, but Sally and Tom threw rocks at me!" said Ajmal.
"That sounds like blatant racial discrimination, If you can spell blatant racial discrimination I'll give you a cookie!".

I'm sorry about your parents, but no spell can reawaken the dead, Harry!

Except for the time turner. We'll use that to save Buckbeak.

Spelling errors in quotations make me sic.

Why do all polish names end in ski?

Because they can't spell toboggan
(This joke brought to you by a 90 yr old polish man I take care of at a nursing home)

I don't know how to spell Armaggedon

But who cares - it's not the end of the world!

What do you put in a toaster joke

Spell roast five times, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t.
What do you put in a toaster?
I usually put bread in a toaster.

How does Bono spell color?

With or without "u"

A group of primary school students were participating in a local spelling bee.

A keen young boy steps before the judges and is told, "Your word is spider."
Not quite sure as to how to spell it, the boy asks, "Could you please use it in a sentence?"
A judge replies, "A spider has eight eyes."
The boy then states, "S-P-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-D-E-R."

A blonde woman finds a dead body...

Immediately, she calls the police.
She says, "Hello, I have found a dead body"
The 911 operator replies, "Ok. Thank you for letting us know. Can you tell me the street on which you found it?"
She looks around and says, "Eucalyptus Street"
The operator asks, "Can you spell it for me?"
The blonde women thinks, and tells the operator, "Don't worry, I'll just move it to Smith Street"

Feminists need to learn spelling

So yesterday, I was walking down the street when a girl claiming to be a feminist handed me this flyer. It said, "PUT A WOMEN IN THE WHITE HOUSE".
I looked up at her confused and walked away.
That was an odd way to spell kitchen...

Mom, how do you spell s**...'?

Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.

A mummy calls a restauraunt.

- Hello, I'd like to reserve a table for the pharaoh Sakhrakhotep I.
- Could you spell it out, please?
- Of course. Bird, two triangles, wavy line, the sun, bird again, jackal's head and a scarab.

A teacher asks her student about his favorite tree...

Teacher: "Bob, which tree do you love most?"
Bob: "The eucalyptus is pretty"
Teacher: "That's nice. How do you spell eucalyptus?"
Bob: "Yep, can't go wrong with a good solid oak"

A r**...'s father passed away in his sleep

So in the morning, he calls 911 to come pick up the body.
The 911 operator told him that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
He replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?
There was a long pause and finally he said, "How 'bout if I drag him over to Oak Street and you pick him up there?"

Discrimination

Three first-graders are flunking their class. The teacher calls them in and tells them: "I will ask you one question each, if you can answer it, you pass."
"Jim, how do you spell 'Cow'?"
"Jack, how do you spell 'Car'?"
"Muhammad, how do you spell 'Racial discrimination'?"

At a Starbucks job interview

"What is your name?"
-Alyssa
"Could you spell that, please?"
-L A R I S S A
"When can you start?!"

How do u spell candy w only 2 letters

c and y

A girlfriend and boyfriend are talking...

The girl says, "hey John, how do you spell p**...?'" He responds, "gosh honey, why do you need to know? That's an awfully big word for an 8 year old."

A pharaoh makes a reservation in a restaurant:

"Can I reserve a table for two?"
"Sure just give me a name."
"Semerkhet."
"Would you spell it for me?"
"Bird, double triangle, wavy line, another bird, dog head, sun, scarab..."

Rita found her husband hanging in his bedroom one morning with a note on his bed reading I can't take the critism anymore.

She quickly cut the rope, brought him down and managed to revive him.
As her husband lay in her arms and slowly opened his eyes, she said emotionally my dear…that's NOT how you spell criticism!

A woman is cleaning her daughters room when she stumbles upon her diary. She sees an entry that reads: "I lost my virginitty today"

The woman starts crying.
"How can this happen? I've given her everything. Why did she do this to me? She can't be serious about this. She's in 9th grade for gods sake. How does she not know how to spell virginity?"

Bad pick up line

Me: spell me
Her: M-E
Me: you forgot the D
Her: there is no D in me
Me: not yet

I found my son hanging from a rope in his bedroom.

On the floor was a note saying, "I can't stand the critism anymore."
I quickly cut him down, gave him CPR and he started to breathe.
As he lay in my arms I saw his eyes slowly open and I said, "That's not how you spell criticism."

Do you know why Oklahoma's state slogan is "Oklahoma is OK"?

Because they can't spell "mediocre".

A Driver gets Pulled Over

A man driving home from the bar gets pulled over by a police officer.
Officer: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Driver: "I'm guessing you think I was drunk driving."
Officer: "Tell you what, my shift is ending so if you can spell the alphabet backwards, I'll let you go."
Driver: (very quickly) "ZYXWVUTSRQPONMLKJIHGFEDCBA."
Officer: "Wow, I couldn't do that sober."
Driver: "Me neither."

When I was young I decided I wanted to attend medical school...

At the entrance exam, we were asked to rearrange the following alphabets:
 
P  N  E  I  S
 
The question asked us to rearrange the letters in a way that it would spell the most important part of the body that is most useful when straight.
 
Those who answered *SPINE* are doctors today, and the rest of them are my friends.

"Your next spelling word is: beheaded."

Can you use it in a sentence please?
"Sure, Kathy Griffin beheaded to the unemployment office."

ISIS has reportedly starting putting bombs in cans of alphabet soup

If any go off, it could spell disaster

I just ate a load of scrabble tiles.

Now I'm terrified my next trip to the toilet will spell disaster.

"I'd like a spell to make me famous," he said.

"OK," said the witch.
He burned for a week before he died. It was the talk of the kingdom.

At the spelling bee

Judge: Your word is "there."
Me: In a sentence please.
Judge: They're parking their car over there.

Bubba Calls 911

Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. 'Where do you live?' asked the operator.
Bubba replied, 'At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.'
The operator asked, 'Can you spell that for me?'
There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, 'How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?'

A Pharoah makes a reservation at a ski resort...

Pharaoh: I'd like to make a reservation for two please.
Attendant: Absolutely. Can I get your name please.
Pharoah: "Neferneferuaten"
Attendant: ...can you spell that out for me?
Pharaoh: Bird, double triangle, wavy line, dog head, more bird, flames..."

Jack calls an ambulance for his friend who has been hit by a car

The operator asks for his location.
Jack says I'm outside 28 Eucalyptus Road .
The operator knows there is no room for error and for clarity asks, "How do you spell that?"
There's shuffling and sounds of straining at the other end of the phone. Jack? says the operator, concerned. More shuffling and grunting.
Sorry about that says Jack. I just dragged him 'round to 1 Oak Street

A cyclops was doing a crossword puzzle and asked his wife, "Hun, how do you spell Hawaii?"

Biting her lip, she replied, "I think you need 2 'i's."

To spell Panda

You just need P and A

How do you get better at spelling?

Practiss, practise, practice.

The only way to spell incorrectly correctly

Is to spell it incorrectly.

To spell Panda, all you need is

P and A

I have an Eastern European friend who fixes my language mistakes...

My personal spell Czech.

If everyone spells your sons name wrong...

Then you spelled your sons name wrong

I saw biggish girl at the pub last night,

Her t shirt said "watch out I'm a man eater!"
I went up to her and said " excuse me, love ... About your t shirt slogan."
She interrupted me and angrily snapped " oh let me guess: you want to know how many man I've eaten? Well, you know what, I can't help my size."
I said "Actually, no, I wasn't going to say that at all. "
She looks happier and smiled as she said "Oh yes, what did you what to say then?"
"That's not how you spell manatee."

How do you spell odin?

With one eye

Britain: American English is s**..., you can't even spell colour right.

America: No u.

Don't leave alphabet soup cooking on the stove unattended.

It could spell disaster.

All of my friends told me that 'icy' is the easiest word to spell. And after looking at it...

**I see why.**

A cyclops and his wife looking for their prefect holiday destination

Cyclobs: How do you spell Hawaii?
Wife: Well... You need two i's...
Cyclobs (putting the pen down): My life is just a joke to you isn't it, Linda?

I ate a bunch of scrabble pieces earlier

So going to the bathroom could spell disaster

Why did karl marx always spell his name in lowercase letters?

Because he wanted to abolish all forms of capital

How do pirates spell Thicc?

With seven Cs.

Why is 'dark' not spelled like 'darc'?

Because you can't c in the dark!

My dog ate some scrabble pieces and now he looks like he's about to throw up

This could spell trouble

How do French people spell w**...?

Oui'd

Trump was out walking on a beautiful snowy day, when he saw that somebody had urinated on the White House lawn to spell out "The President s**...."

Infuriated, Trump called on the secret service to figure out who had done it. In a few hours, they came to him and told him that there was some bad news and some worse news.
"The bad news is that the u**... is from Putin."
"Vlad? How could he do this to me? What could be worse than this?"
"The handwriting's is Melania's."

Why don't Americans spell color like colour?

It was their way of telling Great Britain that they don't need u.

Patient: "I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles!"

Doctor: "Your next trip to the toilet could spell disaster"

So what if I can't spell 'Armageddon'

It's not the end of the world

An Aussie phones an ambulance because his mate's been just hit by a car

Aussie: Get an ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose and ears and I think both his legs are broken.
Operator: What is your location sir?
Aussie:On Eucalyptus Street.
Operator: How do you Spell that sir?
Silence..... (heavy breathing) and after a minute or so...
Operator: Are you there sir?
More heavy breathing and another minute later...
Operator: Sir, can you hear me?
This goes on for another few minutes until...
Operator:Sir, please answer me. Can you still hear me?
Aussie: Yes, sorry bout dat... I couldn't spell
eucalyptus, so I just dragged him around to Oak Street.

I was told I should rearrange my mood.

But that could spell my doom.

Ok so I can't spell Armageddin

It's not the end of the world though is it?

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.

My next vowel movement could spell disaster.

Learnt an interesting fact today..... If you spell "Absolutely Nothing" backwards, you get "Gnihton Yletulosba" which actually means.........

........... Absolutely Nothing!!

What do you get when you spell man backwards?

PTSD

Spell joke, What do you get when you spell  man  backwards?

jokes about spell