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Speed Dating Jokes

26 speed dating jokes and hilarious speed dating puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about speed dating that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Speed Dating Short Jokes

Short speed dating jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The speed dating humour may include short speed dial jokes also.

  1. Speed dating Her: I hate it when people get excited when they find out they have smallest thing in common.
    Me: Oh my God! Me too!
  2. Speed dating is pointless. 30 seconds aren't long enough to explain the benefits of functional programming in Haskell.
  3. Did you hear that Sean Connery tried out speed-dating but he ended up making all his dates sick? He was told it was a shingles club.
  4. [WP] Three years after losing your wife, you finally agree to try and move on and attend a speed dating event. The first woman you see looks identical to your wife...
  5. A wildebeast walks into a speed dating meetup.. he meets some good gnus and some bad gnus.
  6. What do you call it when you show up near the end of a r**... family reunion? Speed dating.

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Speed Dating One Liners

Which speed dating one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with speed dating? I can suggest the ones about speed light and peed.

  1. I once tried speed dating... Turns out she wasn't as into stimulants as I was...
  2. What does Roy Moore call a high school track meet? Speed dating
  3. of course its gonna be alabama that does it thanksgiving in alabama is just speed dating
  4. I'm off to a communist speed dating night. I'm hoping I can seize the means of seduction.
  5. I joined the walmart speed dating service Now ive got a bag for life
  6. I met two m**... heads at a restaurant today. They were speed dating
  7. Why can't you take a m**... speed dating? He'll start pushing all the tables together.
  8. What do you call r**... speed dating? A family reunion

Comical Speed Dating Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about speed dating you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean speed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make speed dating pranks.

A man and a woman rotate to the same table in a game of speed dating.

"Hi!" says the woman cheerfully, "Just so you know, I'm deaf, but I can read lips. Just talk as you normally do and I'll let you know if I didn't catch something. So, what do you do for a living?"
"I'm a ventriloquist," says the man.
"What?" says the woman.

A pilot is flying a plane and shortly after mid-air announcement , forgets to turn off the mic.

He then mentions to his copilot : "I am dating that cute air hostess. After we land , we will go to the hotel and bang. "
The air hostess after hearing this runs towards the front of the plane at full speed to tell the pilot to turn off the mic and hits a blind man's stick and falls down.
The guy sitting on the other side says : "Why are you in such a hurry , we haven't even landed yet! "

An elderly couple were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol.

The officer said "Ma'am did you know you were speeding?" The woman turns to her husband and asked "What did he say?" The old man yelled "He says you were speeding!"
The patrolman said "May I see your license?" The woman turned to her husband and asked "What did he say?" The old man yelled "He wants to see your license!" The woman gave him her license.
The patrolman said "I see you are from Texas. I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I've ever seen".
The woman turned to her husband and asked "What did he say?" The old man yelled "He thinks he knows you!"

s**... in Public!!!

A young dating couple were driving down the road in a very busy area, when things started to get somewhat passionate. They decided to pull over and park and have some fun.
Things were really getting hot, and they were not paying any attention to what was going on outside. All of a sudden a policeman was tapping on their window. The cop could hardly contain himself.
"Didn't you know that you are not supposed to be having s**... in public?" he asked the couple.
Being embarrassed by being caught, they said yes and apologized.
"Well, he said, I will have to write you a ticket."
So the cop wrote the ticket and reminded them next time to watch their behavior. After getting dressed, the girl asked her boyfriend what the policeman wrote the ticket for.
He responded, "Doing 69 in a 40 Kph speed zone!"