The Best 48 Speechless Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Speechless jokes. There are some speechless gasps jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these speechless mulls puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Speechless Jokes and Puns
This math joke usually leaves people speechless
What did the mathematician say after she ate a huge meal at a feast?
√[(-1)/64]
----
^I ^over ^eight.
It leaves the speechless because they usually look at me with confusion. Its hard to make this joke work, verbally.
What do you call an Italian in handcuffs?
Speechless
So I'm at the dentist's office...
...in the waiting room when this woman comes storming out, shouting curses and threatening to sue. When she's gone, the dentist is standing in the doorway, speechless, so I ask him, "gee, doc, what's got her knickers in a twist?" And he says, "I don't know, I just asked her to take a shot in the mouth."
Just heard Barrack Obama's main writer has been killed..
Sources reporting that he is currently speechless.
My dad once told me I would make a great mime...
I was speechless.
Just been told I've got the job as a mime
...
I'm speechless.
So I woke up to find that someone had stolen my assignment for my communications class...
I was speechless...
The groom was furious and told me I was a terrible best man.
I was speechless.
What was Mark Hamill's reaction when he finished reading The Force Awakens script?
Speechless
In Star Wars, which order made the Clonetroopers hard and speechless?
Order 69.
There was a murder at the mime convention
Everyone was left speechless
You can explore speechless godot reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean speechless incredible dad jokes. There are also speechless puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I'm speechless
Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"
Doctor: "Nine."
I hate to tell patients that they've become physically mute...
They're always speechless.
I got a walk on part in a silent movie about mimes.
I'm absolutely speechless.
My daughter wanted me to be a mime for her birthday party.
I was speechless.
I was offered a part in a silent film.
I'm speechless.
I went to a High School pep rally....
The principal had announced earlier that day that he would make an inspirational speech for us. At the rally, he walked up to the microphone for his speech. But, all he did was look at the crowd, smiled, and stepped down.
We were left speechless.
My wife said I needed to grow up
I was speechless
It's hard to say anything when you have 45 gummy bears in your mouth
I just got the lead in a silent film
I'm absolutely speechless
I was called the worst best man once
I was speechless.
Was playing with a new animation software but forgot to add any dialogue.
It rendered me speechless.
When a girl doesn't reply to my text
I feel honored because i made her speechless
I just underwent a operation on my throat
After which the doctor told me he removed my voice box. I stood there speechless.
I attended a sign language session.
I was speechless.
Funny Comeback
I go into McDonald's and there is this fat girl making fun of this mentally disabled kid*
Me: you know, that could happen to any of us. You don't belong making fun of someone like that, what's wrong with you?
Girl: god gave me a mouth to speak and I'm going to use it
Me: well god also gave you a mouth to eat, you abused that privilege.
Girl: -speechless-
Me: oh and you might want to wipe that ketchup off your chin
Girl: *goes to wipe chin*
Me: no, your other chin
Astrology joke
I've got a cousin who was born with a rare condition that renders him speechless, deaf, blind, immobile, and unable to talk. He mostly lies in bed in a hospital, and we feed him through tubes. But underneath all that, you can totally tell he's got that typical wacky Capricorn sense of humor.
The doctor told me my vocal chords were damaged
I was speechless
Have you seen the cast of the new movie "A Quiet Place?"
Speechless.
When i found out I'd never be able to talk again...
I was speechless!
I had quite the shock when I was told I would never talk again...
I was speechless
What was the mans reaction when he was told he could never talk again?
He was speechless.
When I realized Ill never be able to talk again
It left me speechless
I lost the script I was gonna use for my TED Talk.
I'm speechless.
I was bringing home some tongue from the butcher...
...when a cat jumped into my arms and took it.
I was speechless.
Today my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance...
"Well...," a friend replies, "...I'm going to be honest with you: you should take advantage of that, she's not for you. She is seeing other guys, she even had an affair with me, your best friend! I'm glad she said that. How did she start the conversation?"
The other guy stays speechless for a while. "she... was studying for a test, for physics. She needed random numbers to calculate velocity."
When I found out the doctors had to cut out my voice box during surgery for cancer I didn't know what to think or feel.
I was speechless.
My doctor told me I was dumb today
I was speechless
A couple is going on vacation to the Maldives.
The woman steps out of the airplain and says: "Wow this is beautiful, im speechless!"
The man replies: "Perfect we are staying 6 month."
This one time Frankenstein entered a bodybuilding contest..
His entry left the judges speechless.
Looking for a gift that will leave her speechless?
Gorilla glue lip balm.
My uncle worked in Hollywood and told me how sad it was at Jim Henson's funeral.
Kermit was speechless.
I just gave my first Ted talk about south paw sign language.
The audience was left speechless.
The Prime Minister's speech writer has resigned.
He's speechless.
During his wedding, my friend called me the worst best man he has ever seen.
I was speechless.
My friend self proclaimed that he is the pride of the class
I replied, "no wonder you're the biggest dick'
this literally just happened, he's speechless and I'm proud of myself
I was going to give a public address but I lost my speaking notes
I was speechless!
Stalin is attending the premiere of a Soviet comedy movie with his fellow Party members.
He laughs and grins throughout the film, but after it ends he says, "Well, I liked the comedy. But that clown had a moustache just like mine. Shoot him."
Everyone is speechless, until someone sheepishly suggests, "Comrade Stalin, maybe the actor shaves off his moustache?"
Stalin replies, "Good idea! First shave, then shoot!"
At his wedding, my friend told me that I was the worst Best Man that he has ever seen.
I was speechless.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the speechless psycho jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working speechless patiently piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.