The Best 7 Speech Opening Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Speech Opening jokes. There are some speech opening speeches jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these speech opening monologue puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Speech Opening Jokes and Puns

The Prince of Wales and the Duke of Edinburgh

The recent death of the Duke of Edinburgh reminded me of the time that Prince Charles went to open a school in Brixton in London. The Prince's speech went well, but people were distracted by his headwear, which was a Davey Crockett-type hat made from fox fur, with the fox's tail hanging down at the back. After the ceremony the headmaster thanked Charles and said, "I couldn't help noticing what you were wearing on your head ...?"

"Ah yes", said Charles, "That was Daddy's idea. He asked where I was going today, then he said 'Brixton? Wear the fox hat'".

Trump at the Olympics

Donald Trump is opening the Olympic Games and has to read a speech.

"Oh" he says. "Oh, oh, oh ..."

An aide nudges him, "Mr. Trump, stop," he says. "You're reading the Olympic symbol."

A kid with a speech impediment is trick or treating on Halloween...

At his last door a nice elderly lady opens it and he says the traditional " Bick or beat!" She replied "Oh what do we have hear what are you dressed as little boy?" He proudly replied "I'm a Birate!"
"Oh you're a Pirate!" She responds "Well where are your Buckaneers?" He scowls at the lady and points to his head and shouts "My bucken ears are right here why don't you use your bucken eyes?!"

A classic Soviet joke

(Setting: 1980 Olympics)

Leonid Ilyich Brezhnev began reading his opening speech.

"O!" - the crowd applauses.

"O!" - another round of applause and cheer comes from the audience.

"O!" - the entire audience body stands up and begins clapping.

A secretary comes to Brezhnev and says, "Dear Leonid Ilyich, these are Olympic logo rings; you don't need to read all of them!"

Elon's opening speech for the Tesla Solar Roof really got my attention...

Who knew there were thousands of hot shingles in my area?


A boy had a speech impediment and is unable to articulate anything more than the letters of the alphabet.

He opens his wallet, only to sadly exclaim:

O I C U R M T

Prime Minister Shinzo Abe gives an opening speech at the Tokyo Olympics.

He walks up to the microphone. "O!" he says, which is followed by applause.

"O!" he says again, as an ovation.

"O!" he says again, and the audience stands up and cheers. Suddenly, an aide runs up to the podium.

"Prime Minister Abe," the aide whispers, "those are the Olympic logo rings, you don't need to read all of them!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the speech opening tears rain jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working speech opening meaning listener piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes