Speech Impediment Jokes
82 speech impediment jokes and hilarious speech impediment puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about speech impediment that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Speech Impediment Short Jokes
Short speech impediment jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The speech impediment humour may include short stutter jokes also.
- arm's length what do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
a speech impediment - What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment.
- How is a speech impediment like a box of chocolates? It doesn't really matter, as long as it has good cocoa content.
- What does an Italian have if he's born with one arm shorter than the other ? A speech impediment.
- I'm gonna make a movie about a man with a speech impediment during world War 2 I'm gonna call it Schindler's Lisp
- I recently went to a comedy restaurant, and there was a chicken with a speech impediment on stage... The food was great, but the yolks were terrible...
- What is the worst thing to need as a scientist with a speech impediment? a physicist's assistance
- Why did the magician with a speech impediment buy a candy bar? Because he wanted to have a few Twix up his sleeve.
- A boy had a speech impediment and is unable to articulate anything more than the letters of the alphabet. He opens his wallet, only to sadly exclaim:
O I C U R M T - My dog never listens to me, and I think he might have a speech impediment... He keeps balking at me when I try to tell him to be quiet
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Speech Impediment One Liners
Which speech impediment one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with speech impediment? I can suggest the ones about impediment and stammers.
- What does an Italian have when he is missing one arm? A severe speech impediment.
- What is it called when an Italian has no hands? A speech impediment
- My parents have a serious speech impediment problem They could never say I love you
- What did the magician with a speech impediment say to the fisherman? Pick a cod, any cod.
- What did the man with a speech impediment name his boat The S.S. Stutter
- A kid with a speech impediment spends his entire childhood in speech therapy. Youthless
- What do you call an Italian with only one hand? Speech impediment.
- What do you call an Italian with a broken arm? Speech impediment.
- Everything in the world is easier said than done Unless you have a speech impediment
- Why did the janitor with a speech impediment miss his shift? He overswept
- What do you call an overly emotional tree with a speech impediment? Twee
- Some people seem to tell me I have a speech ingredient... Impediment*
- What do you call a preppy girl with a speech impediment? A babbling Brook
- What does a dog with a speech impediment study? Arf-ticulation
- How do people with speech impediments carve wood? Whittle by whittle.
Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Speech Impediment Jokes and Friends
What funny jokes about speech impediment you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean speech jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make speech impediment pranks.
some hipster jokes
Q: What do you call a hipster with a speech
impediment?
A: Mumblr. Q: Why do hipsters love ice?
A: Because ice was water before it was cool. Q: Why are all the ugly chicks hipsters?
A: Because beauty is just too Mainstream!Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a
lightbulb?
A: You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure
number Q: How do you drown a hipster?
A: In the mainstream. Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside
mansion?
A: It was too current. Q: How much does a hipster weigh?
A: An instagram.
7 mildly offensive jokes
**What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? **
A speech impediment.
**What's the Cuban National Anthem? **
Row row row your boat.
**What's the fastest way to a man's heart? **
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
**Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had a r**... baby? **
They named him Sum Ting Wong.
**Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking? **
Because those men already have boyfriends.
**What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? **
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
**What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? **
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
A little girl walks into a pet store...
and says, "I'd wike a wabbit pweathe."
The salesperson laughs and mimics the little girl's speech impediment. "Of courthe! Do you want a widdle bwown wabbit, a bwack wabbit, or a thpotted wabbit?"
The little girl says, "I don't think my thnake giveth a thit what color the wabbit ith."
Halloween Pirate Joke
Little Johnny dressed up as a pirate. He rang the first door bell and a woman answered. "Hello!" she said. "What are you dressed up as?" Johnny replies (with his speech impediment), "A birate." "A what?" asked the woman. "A BIRATE!" said Johnny. The woman replied, "Oh, you mean a pirate. Well tell me Mr. Pirate, where are your bucannears?" Johnny looked at her weirdly and said, "They're on my buckin' HEAD!"
What do you call an Italian without arms
A speech impediment!
What do you call it when alpacas with speech impediments take over Earth?
The Alpacalisp.
What does a massage therapist with a speech impediment who moonlights as a dubstep dj do all day?
Wub, wub, wubs.
The Baguette Joke
A man that works for a large insurance company was sent to see the company's therapist. The therapist asked the man why he was sent to see her.
"I am told I have a speech impediment, but I think the really reason I was sent down here is because I hate baguettes," said the man in a crisp and fluid voice.
"That doesn't seem reasonable," replied the therapist. "You don't sound like you have a speech impediment, and I can't see how baguettes are at all relevant to your job."
"That's what I said!" claimed the man excitedly, "I told them: I don't have a problem, and anyone who thinks differently can go buck themself!"
What did the frog with the speech impediment say?
"Thibbit"
My friend's Italian mom recently broke her collarbone skiing, and has very limited movement in her left arm.
She says the main problem is the speech impediment.
What are the words of a person with a speech impediment made of?
Of syllisples.
What do you call an oval with a speech impediment?
An Elipshhh
How can a deaf/mute person have a speech impediment?
Arthritis.
What kind of shoes do people with speech impediment wear?
Adid- did -did - didas
I wrote a book about a t**... with a speech impediment
It's called Man or Myth
Ever hear that black people have a speech impediment?
Not true, its just a myff.
As a person with a speech impediment, I enjoy telling online jokes
They're more of my type.
What Do You Call n**... With A Speech Impediment?
The Alt-White.
I think my dog has a speech impediment but I'll never know for sure.
He only marks when I'm not home.
Drinking with a speech impediment
Its Whiskey business
I had to give a talk the other day and my microphone wouldn't work.
It was a real speech impediment.
What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, with a speech impediment living under the sink?
Dwayne.
What do you call an outbreak of zombies that also have speech impediments?
The Zombie Apocalisp!
What sits in a tree and goes "Ahhh!"?
An owl with a speech impediment
Thor came down to Earth from Asgard
Thor goes to a singles bar to have a drink, and sees a beautiful girl he'd like to make love to. He goes over to buy her a drink, and she has a slight speech impediment, but Thor doesn't care because she is so beautiful and s**....
They leave the bar, and go to her apartment, and proceed to have 8 hours of fantastic s**..., every which way possible.
In the morning, he feels just a bit guilty, and decides to confess who he is to the woman.
"I have to tell you something, I'm really Thor"
She turns to him and says "YOU'RE THOR? I AM SO THOR I CAN'T EVEN PEE!"
I'm hosting a bake-off for people with speech impediments tomorrow
I don't know if I should whisk any yolks at all
What goes quack, quack, quack?
A j**... with a speech impediment
What do you call a dinosaur with a speech impediment?
A Tywannosaurus Wex
What did the child with the speech impediment say when he used basketball slang to tell his friend, Johnson, to score a basket?
Dwain the rock, Johnson!
Pirate for Halloween
A little boy with a speech impediment dressed as pirate for Halloween. He knocked on the door and when the lady answered he said "pick or peat". The lady asked what? He replied "pick or peat" and shook is bag. The lady said oh trick or treat and the little boy shook his head yes.
The lady then asked what are you dressed as? The boy responded a "birate". Lady asked what? The boy responded a "birate". Lady then said a "pirate" and the boy shook his head yes.
The lady then asked where are your "Buccaneers" which the little boy reached up grabbing his ear and said " right here lady where are your bucking eyes"
What do you call maple syrup with a speech impediment?
Mrs. Stuttersworth.
What did the k**... with a speech impediment say after he was kicked out of the k**... for having minority grandparents?
"Alwight."
What do people with a speech impediment play on guitar
Thongs
I can't tell if my neighbor is racist or has a speech impediment.
He had a party over the weekend and when I asked him how it was, he said "It was all white".
What do you call a mentally disadvantaged kud with a speech impediment?
Names.
Why was the dyslexic Russian politician with a speech impediment arrested?
Because he was ligging erections
I like my women like I like my rap music
Lacking in proper grammar, and with speech impediments.
At work, during downtime, if I get asked to clean, I often say this:
I'm like an insomniac with a speech impediment: I don't sweep.
What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and who has a speech impediment?
His name.
And you should probably be ashamed of yourself.
Just finished a great book about a t**... who has a speech impediment.
The title is "Man or Myth."
Did you hear about the m**... cat with a speech impediment?
He had nine wives.
A kid with a speech impediment is trick or treating on Halloween...
At his last door a nice elderly lady opens it and he says the traditional " Bick or beat!" She replied "Oh what do we have hear what are you dressed as little boy?" He proudly replied "I'm a Birate!"
"Oh you're a Pirate!" She responds "Well where are your Buckaneers?" He scowls at the lady and points to his head and shouts "My bucken ears are right here why don't you use your bucken eyes?!"
