Uproarious Sped Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
A bit rapey.
The lady walking ahead of me sped up so I did too, she began running so I ran too, she screamed so I screamed as well. I never even saw what we were running from.
The lady walking ahead of me sped up...
...so I did. She began walking faster and faster so I did. She started running so I did. She started screaming so I did. I have no idea what we were running from but I was terrified.
Blonde vs Traffic cop who will win?
Traffic cop stops a blonde that sped by him. He asked her for her license, and she replied by asking: "What is a license?" He explained that a license is a square thing with your face of it. The blone ruffles around in her purse for a while, pulls out a small mirror and gives it to the traffic cop. He looked at it and said: "Oh! I see you're a traffic cop too, you're free to go."
Cop said papers
I said scissors and won so I sped off
guess he wants a rematch cause he's been chasing me for 20 minutes
A guy in a wheelchair sped over my foot.
"You better watch where you're going next time." I told him.
He said, "I'm handicapped, you can't do anything."
I said, "No, you're handicapped, you can't do anything."
Stopped by the police
I spilled some gas on my sleeve while gassing up one day. Got back on the highway and lit up a smoke and started my sleeve on fire. I put my arm out the window but the flames did not go away. I sped up to 70 then 80 when I noticed the flashing lights behind me. The cop says "looks like I'm going to have to write you a couple of tickets " I said I know I was speeding but what else?"
"Possession of a firearm sir "
My neighborhood is getting dangerous...
I was walking home the other night from the store with my hoodie on and the woman in front of me sped up, so I sped up. Then she started running so I started running to. I felt bad I passed her and left her behind. I never did see what we were running from.
I was walking behind a lady
The lady walking in front of me sped up, so I sped up too.
She started walking even faster, so I did too.
She started running, so I started running too!
She started screaming, so I started screaming too!!
I have no idea what we were running from, but I was terrified!
Vin Diesel pulled up next to me at a light the other day
Shocked, I saw him motion for me to roll down my window. I did and he said to me:
"You know what I put in my car?"
"Gas?" I replied.
"Diesel" he said and then he sped off.
We were driving down the road when a koala cut ahead of us and knocked into the car.
We sped up alongside of him and yelled out "Hey, you clipped us."
A man was crossing the road when he was hit by a car, which then sped off. A police officer asked the injured man, Did you get a look at the driver? No, he said, but I can tell you it was my ex-wife.
How do you know that? asked the officer.
I'd recognize her laugh anywhere!
You can explore sped cruiser reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sped jeep dad jokes. There are also sped puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A snail bought a Tesla Model S
The snail then took off driving at a high rate of speed. As he sped past a famous French restaurant, the chef exclaimed, "Wow, look at that S car go".
2 vans were driving on a road. Little did they know, the road led straight off a cliff.
They did not see it, so they kept going. They sped off the cliff. After falling for a while, they miraculously landed upright and were fine.
It's cause they're vans.
I have never felt understood by my wife so I got in my truck, sped up and slid right into her.
She got the drift.
I tried to warn a racist to slow down because of the black ice up ahead.
He sped up and crashed.
Today an irate motorist at a stop light yelled at me saying, "YOU GOTTA GET BACK!"
To which I screamed back at the top of my lungs, "BACK TO THE PAST, SAMURAI JACK!" and sped off onto the highway.
A girl texted me, asking me to come over to her place because 'no one was home ;)', so I sped to her place.
No one home.
