The Best 17 Sped Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Sped jokes. There are some sped drove jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these sped pace puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Sped Jokes and Puns

A bit rapey.

The lady walking ahead of me sped up so I did too, she began running so I ran too, she screamed so I screamed as well. I never even saw what we were running from.

The lady walking ahead of me sped up...

...so I did. She began walking faster and faster so I did. She started running so I did. She started screaming so I did. I have no idea what we were running from but I was terrified.

Blonde vs Traffic cop who will win?

Traffic cop stops a blonde that sped by him. He asked her for her license, and she replied by asking: "What is a license?" He explained that a license is a square thing with your face of it. The blone ruffles around in her purse for a while, pulls out a small mirror and gives it to the traffic cop. He looked at it and said: "Oh! I see you're a traffic cop too, you're free to go."

Sped joke, Blonde vs Traffic cop who will win?

Cop said papers

I said scissors and won so I sped off

guess he wants a rematch cause he's been chasing me for 20 minutes

A guy in a wheelchair sped over my foot.

"You better watch where you're going next time." I told him.

He said, "I'm handicapped, you can't do anything."

I said, "No, you're handicapped, you can't do anything."


Stopped by the police

I spilled some gas on my sleeve while gassing up one day. Got back on the highway and lit up a smoke and started my sleeve on fire. I put my arm out the window but the flames did not go away. I sped up to 70 then 80 when I noticed the flashing lights behind me. The cop says "looks like I'm going to have to write you a couple of tickets " I said I know I was speeding but what else?"
"Possession of a firearm sir "

My neighborhood is getting dangerous...

I was walking home the other night from the store with my hoodie on and the woman in front of me sped up, so I sped up. Then she started running so I started running to. I felt bad I passed her and left her behind. I never did see what we were running from.

Sped joke, My neighborhood is getting dangerous...

I was walking behind a lady

The lady walking in front of me sped up, so I sped up too.

She started walking even faster, so I did too.

She started running, so I started running too!

She started screaming, so I started screaming too!!

I have no idea what we were running from, but I was terrified!

Vin Diesel pulled up next to me at a light the other day

Shocked, I saw him motion for me to roll down my window. I did and he said to me:

"You know what I put in my car?"

"Gas?" I replied.

"Diesel" he said and then he sped off.

We were driving down the road when a koala cut ahead of us and knocked into the car.

We sped up alongside of him and yelled out "Hey, you clipped us."

A man was crossing the road when he was hit by a car, which then sped off. A police officer asked the injured man, Did you get a look at the driver? No, he said, but I can tell you it was my ex-wife.

How do you know that? asked the officer.

I'd recognize her laugh anywhere!

You can explore sped cruiser reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sped jeep dad jokes. There are also sped puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A snail bought a Tesla Model S

The snail then took off driving at a high rate of speed. As he sped past a famous French restaurant, the chef exclaimed, "Wow, look at that S car go".

2 vans were driving on a road. Little did they know, the road led straight off a cliff.

They did not see it, so they kept going. They sped off the cliff. After falling for a while, they miraculously landed upright and were fine.

It's cause they're vans.

I have never felt understood by my wife so I got in my truck, sped up and slid right into her.

She got the drift.

I tried to warn a racist to slow down because of the black ice up ahead.

He sped up and crashed.

Today an irate motorist at a stop light yelled at me saying, "YOU GOTTA GET BACK!"

To which I screamed back at the top of my lungs, "BACK TO THE PAST, SAMURAI JACK!" and sped off onto the highway.

Sped joke, Today an irate motorist at a stop light yelled at me saying, "YOU GOTTA GET BACK!"

A girl texted me, asking me to come over to her place because 'no one was home ;)', so I sped to her place.

No one home.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the sped speeder jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working sped acceleration piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes