The Best 35 Specific Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Specific jokes. There are some specific correctly jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these specific relevant puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Specific Jokes and Puns
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women, I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl and I said
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific so I said
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
The Bible and the Quran tell us to love each other
The Kamasutra is more specific.
I got fired from my job as a masseur.
There wasn't any specific incident, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.
The Bible tells us to love each other.
The Kama Sutra is a little more specific.
A physicist, engineer, and mathematician are asked by a local farmer to build the smallest fence they possibly can to hold in all of his sheep.
The physicist builds a big fence and slowly reduces the size until he can't reduce the fence any longer.
The engineer measures each sheep, stacks them in a specific way, and then builds a fence around them.
The mathematician builds a small fence around himself, then defines himself to be outside the fence.
First day as a pilot. Control tower: Can you give me your position? Me: I am next to a cloud that looks like a lion. Control tower: Can you be more specific?
Me: Simba
Is it wrong to hate a specific race
Because I really hate marathons
Should've been more specific
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
The Holy Bible tells us to love one another.
The Kama Sutra is more specific.
I'm using vibration and oscillation in specific frequencies to impart information
It might seem far-fetched, but the idea is sound.
I used to work as a bed salesman
One day this guy came in and started climbing into the beds and asking really specific questions. Then it hit me, he was an undercover cop.
You can explore specific special reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean specific legitimate dad jokes. There are also specific puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
My mom told me that I objectify women.
When she asked me why I broke up with my last girlfriend I said "it didn't work out." She said "be more specific." I said "I just told you she didn't exercise."
I went to a General Store the other day.
Couldn't find anything specific.
A physicist, engineer and a statistician are out hunting...
A physicist, engineer and a statistician are out hunting. Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away.
The physicist does some basic ballistic calculations, assuming a vacuum, lifts his rifle to a specific angle, and shoots. The bullet lands 5 yards short.
The engineer adds a fudge factor for air resistance, lifts his rifle slightly higher, and shoots. The bullet lands 5 yards long.
The statistician yells "We got him!"
Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, a lip piercing, three brothers, a missing finger, are slightly overweight and have a birthday in december?
The specific ocean.
First day as a pilot
Tower: Can you give me your position?
Me: I'm next to a cloud that looks like a lion?
Tower: Can you be more specific?
Me: Simba
Our boss just banned overly specific nicknames
and the whole office is staring at Rat Snitch Brian The Good Time Ruiner
Can we please stop doing women specific jokes, especially about menstruation?
They aren't funny, period.
In life, sometimes it's not good to be very specific.
For instance, it's okay to say "I love kids" but it's frowned upon to say "I love 12 year olds."
A mother takes her three son's to enroll in school. The teacher asks.
A mother takes her three son's to enroll in school. The teacher asks.
Teacher: What are your son's names?
Lady: This boy's name is Leroy, this other boy's name is Leroy, and Leroy here is my third son's name.
Teacher: Isn't it confusing having all three boy's named the same?
Lady: Oh no, you see when it's time for lunch I just holler out the door, Leroy! it's time for lunch, and they all come a runnin. When it's time for dinner I just holler out the door, Leroy! it's time for dinner and they all come a runnin.
Teacher: Ok, so what do you do when you want a specific boy?
Lady: Oh, well then I just holler out their last name.
You ever heard of the ocean located at 5.694647° S, 136.987557° W?
I like to call it the specific ocean.
A geologist was driving down a country road
A geologist was driving down a country road when he saw this beautiful rock formation. He pulled over to get a closer look. As he was admiring the rock, an old farmer drove up. The geologist asked if he knew how long the rock had been here.
The farmer says "in fact, I do! It's a million and 7 years old"
The geologist stunned a bit says "that's oddly specific, how do you know that?"
The farmer goes "well, another feller like you came to look at this same rock and he said it was a million years old. And that was about 7 years ago"
A tour guide at Giza was explaining how the Pyramids were 10,002 years old.
Someone in the crowd asked, "That's oddly specific, are you sure of that date."
"Well, yes, quite sure, I was told they were 10,000 years old when I started working here 2 years ago."
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
& they're like "How did your milkshake develop a gravitational pull that was gender specific?"
I specifically asked for no mayo on my sandwich.
What the Hellman
Wife: I'm going shopping, do you need anything?
Husband: I'm looking for inner-peace and happiness, an answer to my doubts, a sense of fulfilment, a medium through which I can transcend consciousness and reach true spirituality, calmness and...
Wife: Be specific; Smirnoff or Absolut?
What do you call a sea that prefers the temperature outside to be between 31.2 °C and 33.1 °C?
The Specific Ocean.
Little kid in sunday school
the teacher is asking the 5 year olds questions, and asks one specific question to little Suzie; "And why is it important for us to be quiet when we're listening to the sermon, Suzie?" To which she replied, "because the old people are sleeping."
An engineer, a mathmetician, and a physicist are hired by a farmer to build the smallest fence possible to hold all his sheep.
The physicist makes a large fence and gradually shrinks it over and over until he cannot shrink it any further.
The engineer stacks all the sheep in a specific way and builds a small fence around them.
The mathmetician builds a tiny fence around himself and then defines himself as outside the fence.
Q: How many members of a specified demographic does it take to complete a particular task?
A finite quantity. One to complete the specific task and the remainder to act in a manner stereotypical of persons from said demographic.
A woman walks into a police station and says "Help, Ive bee raped by a consultant"
The policeman on duty says "Consultant? thats pretty specific. Do you know him?"
The woman replies "No I dont know him"
The policeman asks "Then how do you know he's a consultant?"
The woman answers "Because he kept his jacket on and made me do all the work"
I hate when people refer to someone as a Muslim
Are they a Musarm or Musleg? Be specific.
Turkish Political Humor
Current Turkish gallows humour: A prisoner goes to the prison library, asks for a specific book. The guard tells him, "we don't have that book... but we do have the author." From Moshik_Temkin on Twitter
I once met a guy who asked me aren't you that guy who brags about really weird, specific stuff?
I then replied No, I'm the guy with the longest garden hose in the county. 1
I asked Santa that i wanted to lose my virginity
think i should've been more specific.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the specific entities jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working specific specifically piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.