Species Jokes
117 species jokes and hilarious species puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about species that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the lighter side of conservation and learn how to tell jokes involving invasive species, endangered species, genome mutation, and reproduction. These species jokes are delightfully clever and sure to entertain.
Funniest Species Short Jokes
Short species jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The species humour may include short nature jokes also.
- Took my kids to the dinosaur museum today. Spent the whole day looking up at the giant sculptures , I discovered a new species.
Myneckisaur.
This is my first dad joke post :) - News has just come in that The mars Rover has discovered a member of the feline species while exploring. Unfortunately, Curiosity killed the cat.
- Some species of frog can jump higher than a 3-story office building. It's because of their immensely powerful hind legs, and the fact that office buildings cannot jump.
- Did you know that there's a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house? This is due the antelopes unnaturally strong hind legs, and he fact that the average house can't jump
- Horrible joke I made up as a kid Why are frogs on the endangered species list?
Because they croak a lot! - From what I've read, people were a lot more serious about invasive plant species 30 or 40 years ago. A lot of people were writing about stopping the spread of the Soviet onion.
- By disrespecting Steve Irwin, PETA has done something many have failed to do Unite us all as a species
- There are three species of hyena in the wild But every time one is seen they become a spotted hyena
- Today i realised that Kung Fu Panda was actually a very progressive movie Not only is the protagonist such a minority that he is literally an endangered species, he is also portrayed by a Black man
- Paleontologists have just discovered a new species of dinosaur that was predominately lesbian... They're calling it the Lickalotopuss.
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Species One Liners
Which species one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with species? I can suggest the ones about sects and genre.
- What do you call a veterinarian who can only treat one species? A Doctor.
- New lesbian species of dinosaur discovered. Lickalottapus.
- Eggs have recently been added to the endangered species list Due to excessive poaching.
- What is one of the longest living species of beetle? Paul McCartney
- Why are some species of cat always endangered? Because cheetahs never prosper
- Human is the only species that evolve chin I'm so advanced that I already doubled it.
- What's the sexiest bee species? Boo-bees
- What do you do with some new species you just discovered? Ya PHYLUM.
- What species of ant is most hesitant? The reluct ant.
- Corona Virus has spread to species of birds It now infects bat man and robin
- It's no wonder falcons are an endangered species They've got an extreme choking problem.
- What species of mushroom is known for being an instigator? The shiitalkie mushroom.
- Blue lives matter There's only 100 smurfs, their an endangered species.
- What species are the best rappers? Dragons, because they're always spittin' fire.
- Just slept with a species from another genus... I hate having bed bugs
Endangered Species Jokes
Here is a list of funny endangered species jokes and even better endangered species puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Last night, I had dinner at one of those illicit restaurants where you can dine on endangered species. I left there full of egret.
- And then there was the male spotted owl who told his wife, "What do you mean you have a headache? We're an endangered species!"
- Did you hear that anti-vaxxers will receive protection under the Endangered Species Act? Their offspring is threatened with extinction.
- In honor of endangered species, portions of the proceeds from each gilded comment will go to Tempura House... ...a home for battered shrimp.
- Why is the hand on the endangered species list? Because it was over fist.
- Why do I not donate to endangered species fundraisers? Because my money's an endangered species.
Cheeky Species Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about species you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean category jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make species pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Gorilla and the r**...
A small zoo in Georgia obtained a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became impossible to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the gorilla was in heat, and her aggressive behavior could only be relieved with s**... interaction with a male counterpart. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
After considering nearly all possible options, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a r**... part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, a very strong physical man, had little sense but was always bragging about his h**... tonk women. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?
Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions:
"First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.
"Second", he said, "you can't never tell no one about this, and I mean no one." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
"Third", Bobby Lee said, "In the event that there are offspring, I want all the children raised Southern Baptist." Once again it was agreed.
And last," Bobby Lee said, "I'm gonna need another week to come up with the $500.00."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Are black men becoming an endangered species?
No! Endangered species are protected by the law.
-Chris Rock
My dad used to tell the ultimate dad joke passed on by his Native American father from Arizona.
"You boys know how all these cacti got their name?"
*sigh* "No dad how did they decide on a name?"
"Well, when the first Native American tried the water from them, he exclaimed 'Yucca!'"
(Yucca is the name of an abundant species of cacti found in Arizona)
(I cringed when I heard this and I loved my grandfather very much so I understand any negative reaction)
Why are there different species of hyena?
Isn't every hyena we've discovered a spotted hyena?
I wanted to open a place where people could drink and go dancing. A portion of all proceeds would be donated to a nature reserve where threatened species could breed and raise their offspring in peace. But I had to close it down.
I really thought Club Baby Seals was going to be a bigger hit.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
New human-like species discovered in South Africa.
Kardashians can't catch a break on a vacation even in Namibia.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Homosexuality is found in over 450 species. Homophobia is only found in two.
Help us get rid of the Ecuadorian f**...-hating spider :(
A new species of fish have evolved to have wrists
They're called metacarpals.
What is the most alien species we know about?
People with Down Syndrome.
TIL grizzly bears are not harmed by microwave radiation.
In fact, they are one among several species of non-polar bear!
Recent studies have shown that several species of shrimp have randomly died while migrating to other seas or oceans
I guess they were accident prawn
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's h**...'s favorite species of shark?
The Great White.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are bees the superior species?
They have a built in s**... switch.
What happened when an explorer discovered the largest species of bear...
He went into Kodiak arrest.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Scientists recently discovered a s**... transmitted disease affecting many bird species.
No need to worry though. I hear it's tweetable.
It's amazing that the world has millions of undiscovered species...
And they all fit so easily into my sock.
An alien mothership is scouting planet Earth.
Alien Scout: Sir, the Humans appear to possess massive military capabilities, nuclear weapons included.
Alien Commander: This is problematic, are they really such an intelligent species?
Alien Scout: Apparently not Sir, they appear to have them pointed at themselves.
Cambridge University just discovered a new species of dinosaur
They say it had a stocky build with orange scales and feathers on its head. They are naming it Grabsalotopuss.
I enjoyed a satire about how people in the future come to terms with outrageous ideas and eventually become more and more like the presidents who adopt them.
It was called "On the oranging of species"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What species is Mike Pence?
No-h**... sapiens.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you know that the Venezuelans use the e**... of a rare species of bovine in an ancient dish passed down from generation to generation?
I lied it's all b**....
TIL that there are 10 species of penguins which occur in Chile
Turns out they like chilly places!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What species of ant works in all 3 branches of the government?
The Ignorant.
The difference between an Optimist and a Bird Taxidermist
The taxidermist sees a gamebird as a mixture of multiple species
The optimist only sees it as half-fowl
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Which species of ants prefer to eat beavers ?
Lesbi-ants
An avid bird watcher heard an owl hoot
So he thought he'd give a hoot back. To his surprise and delight the bird hooted again. The next night the same scenario occurred.
All Summer, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the "conversations."
Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in inter species communication, his wife had a chat with her next door neighbor.
"My husband spends his nights calling to owls," the wife commented.
"That's odd," the neighbor replied. "So does my husband."
Why is the zebra the oldest species on the planet?
Because they're still in black and white.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you know? There is a species of frog in Alaska
There is a species of frog in Alaska that freezes during the winter and while frozen, the frog stops breathing, its heart stops beating, its palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, there's v**... on its sweater already, mom's spaghetti.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's a protocol when it comes to bears [Long]
If you go camping, you should carry bells so not to startle a bear and be attacked, and pepper spray in case it does.
It would help to learn the s**... of the bear, so you can avoid areas with dangerous species.
Brown and black bear's is small and dark.
Grizzly's is large, light in color, has bells in it and smells like pepper spray.
Why do killer whales never make friends with other species?
They're too orc'ward.
I want to discover an unknown species of animal and call it the peeve.
That way, I could adopt one, and it'd be my pet peeve.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This just in: A recent study has discovered that dolphins and humans are the only two species to have s**... for fun.
In unrelated news: All Oklahoma residents are now banned from SeaWorld.
What species of fish is the most skilled in magic?
The marlin
Scientists had heard rumours of a new species of butterfly in London...
But it turned out to be an Urban Moth
TIL that there's a unique species of mosquito found only in the London Underground.
It's a cross between a regular mosquito and an oyster card.
My Girlfriend is super obsessed with Star Trek...
So one day we went rock climbing and we were talking about species, I asked her: "How many can you name?" She gave me a grin and said "Roluman, Bajoran, Cardassian, Ferengi, Borg..." She got preoccupied and fell to the bottom of the cliff. "You forgot to Kling-On!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Although the cannibalism of the praying mantis may seem severe, it is thankfully brief. In other species, the female will slowly s**... the life out of her partner over a period of decades.
This process is commonly called marriage.
Is it weird that if I want to look up a species of spider, I use the web.
What is the Asian species of lice called?
Fried Lice.
Scientists have discovered a new species of moss that can perform arithmetic calculations.
They do this using algae-rhythms.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I went to a planet where the native species had no bilateral symmetry...
and all I got was this s**... F-shirt.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Today I Learned
I've been surrounded by a rare species called expectations, apparently they've always been there yet I've never met any of them.
[s**... og joke, I agree]
Universal Language
Do you agree that English is literally the universal language since more than 50% of alien species in the movies, tv series and books speak it. Haha
A zebra and a giraffe have a kid...
...and named him Al. Al is really good at maths. What species is he?
An Al-ge-bra
What is it called when you're afraid of middle eastern spider species?
Iraqnophobia
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the new species of mushroom that eats humans?
Witnesses claim it was quite a man ita
Professor: this is the largest species of moth that we know of
Me: \*under breath\* ᵐᵃᵐᵐᵒᵗʰ
I introduced science and technology to the frogs in my neighborhood in an attempt to uplift their species.
All of my neighbors are mad at me now because now the frogs only say rivet .
Jungle animals started a softball league...
The teams are separated by species.
A colorful long beaked bird, not sure where to go, asked an old monkey umpire, where his team was playing.
He replied, "Mongoose vs snakes are on field 1, ants vs frogs play on field 2..."
"Quit monkeying around", the bird chuckled, "I just want to know which field I'm on."
"Species puns, huh?" he replied, "Well toucan play at that game."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the Humpback say to the s**... who was leaving early to get a species change?
You should stay a whale.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does a carrot say when it gets picked?
Nothing.
It can only silently scream into the abyss.
It has no mouth, yet it surely must have screamed when it was ripped from its comfortable life to face the cold, uncaring winds of its fate. It was a sheep to the s**....
And aren't we?
As a species, we have no other goal than continuation: eat, drink, sleep, reproduce, die. We are destined to die and to feel the unfeeling embrace of the void, and we have no escape.
Like the lamb, or the carrot, we are destined for the void.
As a result of deforestation, many species lost their natural habitat
Including Folk music bands.
Dad jokes meet dog jokes
Do you know why redwood is the favorite tree species of every dog?
It has the thickest bark.
Why are sheep the most unimpressed species on the planet?
Because all they ever say is meeeeeh .
One day, a zookeeper noticed a chimpanzee reading two books...
One day, a zookeeper noticed a chimpanzee reading two books--The Bible and Darwin's Origin of the Species. Astonished, he asked the ape, "Not only can you read, you're reading two books at once!?"
"Well," said the chimp, "I'm trying to figure out if I'm my brother's keeper, or my keeper's brother."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There are thousands of different mosquito species
And they all s**....
Not your dairy insect
An ant was walking around when it found a 5inch ant of his very same species:
- Why are youso big, it asked
- I drink a lot of milk
"Lactose in taller ant"
