The Best 81 Species Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Species jokes. There are some species evolutionary jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these species endangered species puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Species Jokes and Puns

New lesbian species of dinosaur discovered.

Lickalottapus.

Did you know there's a species of antelope that can jump higher than a two story house?

This is mostly because the antelope has powerful hind leg muscles, and houses can't jump.

Are black men becoming an endangered species?

No! Endangered species are protected by the law.
-Chris Rock

Species joke, Are black men becoming an endangered species?

My dad used to tell the ultimate dad joke passed on by his Native American father from Arizona.

"You boys know how all these cacti got their name?"

*sigh* "No dad how did they decide on a name?"

"Well, when the first Native American tried the water from them, he exclaimed 'Yucca!'"

(Yucca is the name of an abundant species of cacti found in Arizona)

(I cringed when I heard this and I loved my grandfather very much so I understand any negative reaction)

Horrible joke I made up as a kid

Why are frogs on the endangered species list?

Because they croak a lot!


Why can't you hear a pterodactyl taking a leak?

Because their entire species is extinct.

I wanted to open a place where people could drink and go dancing. A portion of all proceeds would be donated to a nature reserve where threatened species could breed and raise their offspring in peace. But I had to close it down.

I really thought Club Baby Seals was going to be a bigger hit.

Species joke, I wanted to open a place where people could drink and go dancing. A portion of all proceeds would be

Homosexuality is found in over 450 species. Homophobia is only found in two.

Help us get rid of the Ecuadorian fag-hating spider :(

What species of mushroom is known for being an instigator?

The shiitalkie mushroom.

TIL grizzly bears are not harmed by microwave radiation.

In fact, they are one among several species of non-polar bear!

Science fact!

There is a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house. This is largely due to the antelope's powerful hind-legs and the fact that the average house cannot jump.

You can explore species genome reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean species specie dad jokes. There are also species puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Last night, I had dinner at one of those illicit restaurants where you can dine on endangered species.

I left there full of egret.

Recent studies have shown that several species of shrimp have randomly died while migrating to other seas or oceans

I guess they were accident prawn

News has just come in that The Mars Rover has discovered a member of the feline species while exploring.

Unfortunately, Curiosity killed the cat.

What's Hitler's favorite species of shark?

The Great White.

Why are bees the superior species?

They have a built in suicide switch.

Species joke, Why are bees the superior species?

How do you tell the difference between a Northern and a Southern zoo?

A Northern zoo has a large plaque in front of each animal cage. The plaque list the genus, species, common name, average life span, habitat and diet of the animal.

A Southern zoo has a recipe in from of each animal cage.

An orangutan in the zoo has two books

The Bible and Darwin's Origin Of Species. He's trying to figure out if he's his brother's keeperβ€”or his keeper's brother.

Did you know there is a species of deer that can jump higher than the average house?

This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact the average house cannot jump.


Paleontologists have just discovered a new species of dinosaur that was predominately lesbian...

They're calling it the Lickalotopuss.

Scientists recently discovered a sexually transmitted disease affecting many bird species.

No need to worry though. I hear it's tweetable.

What species are the best rappers?

Dragons, because they're always spittin' fire.

It's amazing that the world has millions of undiscovered species...

And they all fit so easily into my sock.

It's no wonder falcons are an endangered species

They've got an extreme choking problem.

An alien mothership is scouting planet Earth.

Alien Scout: Sir, the Humans appear to possess massive military capabilities, nuclear weapons included.

Alien Commander: This is problematic, are they really such an intelligent species?

Alien Scout: Apparently not Sir, they appear to have them pointed at themselves.

TIL the American flag on the moon is now bleached completely white by the sun so historians and/or other species would never know it was America that first landed on the moon

They'll think it was France

What species is Mike Pence?

No-homo sapiens.

Did you know that the Venezuelans use the excrement of a rare species of bovine in an ancient dish passed down from generation to generation?

I lied it's all bullshit.

There are three species of hyena in the wild

But every time one is seen they become a spotted hyena

What species of ant is most hesitant?

The reluct ant.

Did you know? There is a species of frog in Alaska

There is a species of frog in Alaska that freezes during the winter and while frozen, the frog stops breathing, its heart stops beating, its palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, there's vomit on its sweater already, mom's spaghetti.

There's a protocol when it comes to bears [Long]

If you go camping, you should carry bells so not to startle a bear and be attacked, and pepper spray in case it does.

It would help to learn the scat of the bear, so you can avoid areas with dangerous species.

Brown and black bear's is small and dark.

Grizzly's is large, light in color, has bells in it and smells like pepper spray.

Why do killer whales never make friends with other species?

They're too orc'ward.

A beekeeper was asked which species of bees he found to be the most pretty.

His reply: "Beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder"

Scientists are studying the effects of marijuana on the arctic tern, a species of bird.

The studies are so intense they have stated "We are leaving no tern unstoned."

What do you do with some new species you just discovered?

Ya PHYLUM.

What do you call a veterinarian who can only treat one species?

A Doctor.

I want to discover an unknown species of animal and call it the peeve.

That way, I could adopt one, and it'd be my pet peeve.

This just in: A recent study has discovered that dolphins and humans are the only two species to have sex for fun.

In unrelated news: All Oklahoma residents are now banned from SeaWorld.

What's the sexiest bee species?

Boo-bees

Scientists had heard rumours of a new species of butterfly in London...

But it turned out to be an Urban Moth

My Girlfriend is super obsessed with Star Trek...

So one day we went rock climbing and we were talking about species, I asked her: "How many can you name?" She gave me a grin and said "Roluman, Bajoran, Cardassian, Ferengi, Borg..." She got preoccupied and fell to the bottom of the cliff. "You forgot to Kling-On!"

Although the cannibalism of the praying mantis may seem severe, it is thankfully brief. In other species, the female will slowly suck the life out of her partner over a period of decades.

This process is commonly called marriage.

Did you know that there's a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house?

This is due the antelopes unnaturally strong hind legs, and he fact that the average house can't jump

Today i realised that Kung Fu Panda was actually a very progressive movie

Not only is the protagonist such a minority that he is literally an endangered species, he is also portrayed by a Black man

Scientists have discovered a new species of moss that can perform arithmetic calculations.

They do this using algae-rhythms.

A particular species of frog, found in South American rainforests, has been observed to leap higher than a 1 story house.

This is due to the extremely powerful hind legs of the frog, and the fact that houses cannot leap.

Eggs have recently been added to the endangered species list

Due to excessive poaching.

Today I Learned

I've been surrounded by a rare species called expectations, apparently they've always been there yet I've never met any of them.

[stupid og joke, I agree]

Scientists claim that after man dolphins rank 2nd in intelligence..

After that comes apes, then some species of parrots.

I guess that pushes women down to 5th.

Some species of frog can jump higher than a 3-story office building.

It's because of their immensely powerful hind legs, and the fact that office buildings cannot jump.

Aliens and Humans

"Alien: why should I not blow up this planet?

Human: we are an advanced species

A: how do you travel?

H: we light old dinosaurs on fire"

Should we eliminate psychopaths from the gene pool?

On face value it might seem like a splendid idea, but as much suffering and pain these individuals put the rest of us through... We still need women for survival of the species.

Life was recently discovered on Mars.

NASA had recently sent more cameras to monitor the surface of Mars when they came across a creature that they had never seen before. Due to it's large ears and long tail they decided that this was some new form of feline species. However, upon closer inspection they found that this creature was not moving and in fact had large tire marks across it's back. Based on these findings NASA had but one unfortunate observation to make.

"Curiosity killed the cat"

One day the zoo-keeper noticed that

a chimp was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species.

Surprised, he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books?"

"Well," said the chimp, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."

What is one of the longest living species of beetle?

Paul McCartney

From what I've read, people were a lot more serious about invasive plant species 30 or 40 years ago.

A lot of people were writing about stopping the spread of the Soviet onion.

Jungle animals started a softball league...

The teams are separated by species.

A colorful long beaked bird, not sure where to go, asked an old monkey umpire, where his team was playing.

He replied, "Mongoose vs snakes are on field 1, ants vs frogs play on field 2..."

"Quit monkeying around", the bird chuckled, "I just want to know which field I'm on."

"Species puns, huh?" he replied, "Well toucan play at that game."

Why are some species of cat always endangered?

Because cheetahs never prosper

Took my kids to the dinosaur museum today.

Spent the whole day looking up at the giant sculptures , I discovered a new species.

Myneckisaur.

This is my first dad joke post :)

As a result of deforestation, many species lost their natural habitat

Including Folk music bands.

By disrespecting Steve Irwin, PETA has done something many have failed to do

Unite us all as a species

Dad jokes meet dog jokes

Do you know why redwood is the favorite tree species of every dog?

It has the thickest bark.

Homosexuality is found in over 150 different species, homophobia is only found in two.

We aren't doing enough to exterminate the fag-hating squirrel.

One day, a zookeeper noticed a chimpanzee reading two books...

One day, a zookeeper noticed a chimpanzee reading two books--The Bible and Darwin's Origin of the Species. Astonished, he asked the ape, "Not only can you read, you're reading two books at once!?"

"Well," said the chimp, "I'm trying to figure out if I'm my brother's keeper, or my keeper's brother."

There are thousands of different mosquito species

And they all suck.

Blue lives matter

There's only 100 smurfs, their an endangered species.

And then there was the male spotted owl who told his wife, "What do you mean you have a headache?

We're an endangered species!"

Not your dairy insect

An ant was walking around when it found a 5inch ant of his very same species:

- Why are youso big, it asked
- I drink a lot of milk

"Lactose in taller ant"

Corona Virus has spread to species of birds

It now infects bat man and robin

How many species of wild cat are there?

I don't have an exact number, but there's an ocelot of them.

Besides humans dolphins are one of very few species that have sex for fun..

But damn, I still don't like that weird silence in the car every morning I take them back to the zoo.

Human is the only species that evolve chin

I'm so advanced that I already doubled it.

People tell me we should be preserving endangered species.

But you offer someone a jar of your pickled panda and they lose their shit.

A zoo only had one species of dog

It was a shih tzu.

Did you know the bird species canaries don't live in the Canary Islands? Same with the Virgin Islands

No canaries live there, either

Why don't lions hang out with other species?

**Their pride gets in the way.**

I cant remember who this comedian or how the joke goes 100% but the gist is

So theres this joke i heard when i was young, my mom showed me him on youtube, it was a very deadpan, dry comedian, almost like mitch hedberg, and i cant remember who it was, but the gist of the joke is, "two aliens landed in their spaceship and walked up to me, they were super short, and i asked, hey, is everyone of your species this short? And they replied, no, we're just really far away"

Interestingly enough, scientists have discovered a fascinating new species of frog, named the Romulan Pond Frog that has an amazing way of evading predators.

In the press release, scientists showed footage of the frogs using a special call that appeared to disorient predators, leaving them unable to precisely locate the frogs.

Scientists are calling this special call a "croaking device."

Took my kids to the dinosaur museum today. Spent the whole day looking up at the giant sculptures , I discovered a new species.

Myneckisaur.

What do you call an invasive species that happens to be a bird?

Illegal avian.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the species extinct jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working species researchers piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes