Specializes Jokes
41 specializes jokes and hilarious specializes puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about specializes that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Specializes Short Jokes
Short specializes jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The specializes humour may include short specialty jokes also.
- I just watched a movie about a y=x graph The plot was a bit predictable
And a little flat
Good special f(x) though - With the Zika virus and how much hooking up happens in the Olympic Village.. The Special Olympics are gonna be awesome in 12 to 14 years.
- My wife said she wanted to feel special this Valentines Day. So I bought her a helmet and some crayons.
- One stolen joke is a coincidence. Two stolen jokes is a pattern. Thirty stolen jokes is an Amy Schumer special.
- I was fired for sending one of my students to detention "for being tardy". Special education just wasn't for me.
- Why was it only $2 for the pirate to get both his ear pierced? He got the buccaneer special
- The waiter asked me how I like my steak. I said rare. He said you're in luck, today's special is panda.
- Today I gave a student detention for being tardy I was then fired from my job as a special ed. teacher
- So the US Military dropped a 22,000 lb bomb on ISIS today. That moves Amy Shumer's special to the second spot for largest bomb for the year.
- So a Black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder... The bartender says "Wow, that's something real special you've got there! Where'd you get it?"
"Africa!", says the parrot.
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Specializes One Liners
Which specializes one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with specializes? I can suggest the ones about it specialist and specific.
- Peyton Manning is opening a bakery. As a special promotion, he's giving away turnovers.
- What is a doctor who specializes in Adam's apples called. A guyneckologist.
- Why do special Ed classes always start late Because everyone is a little tardy.
- Do special ed teachers mark late students as tardy? i have no shame.
- TIL a doctor who specializes in Adam's apples is a... guyneckologist
- If we're all God's Children... What's so special about Jesus ?
- Almost done watching that Netflix special on Epstein. I hope it doesn't leave me hanging.
- Have you met Eric? He's a genie. He's not special or anything. He's just Djinn Eric.
- Why did Sean Connery hire a special kid to clean his kitchen? He had Dish-abilities
- She asked me to make her feel special So I gave her a helmet and crayons.
- What do you call a wizard who specializes in dairy based magic? A lactomancer.
- If a special ed kid is late to class Is it morally wrong to call him tardy?
- What does a taxidermist do on Tuesdays? Nothing special ... just the usual stuff.
- A dog is helping construct my house He specializes in roofing
- How are condoms like cameras? They capture your special moments.
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Specializes Jokes
What funny jokes about specializes you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean special needs jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make specializes pranks.
An ancient Chinese joke, at least a thousand years old.
A man visits his sick friend, and finds him to now be well and energetic. "How wonderful!", his friend says, "What happened?". "Dr. Chang is the cause of my health.", he says gratefully. "Dr. Chang, what did he do?". "Well, Dr. Li came and gave me a special diet. And I got sicker. Then Dr. Wong came and gave me bitter herbs, and I got even worse. On death's door I called for Dr. Chang." "And what did Dr. Chang do?", his friend asks in wonder. The man replies happily, "Dr. Chang did the best of all, he didn't come, so I got well!"
After 5 long years of studying, a student comes rushing into Einstein's office shouting...
"Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!"
Einstein rolls his eyes, "It's about time"
My wife got excited because of a delivery she received
She got a new heavy-gauge wok that she had her eye on for a while. I asked her if she remembered to get the special footwear for it.
She looked puzzled for a moment. Then she sighed and said, "Okay, lay it on me. Tell me your dad joke."
I said, "I don't know what you mean by that, but it is my understanding that they have boots that are made for wokking."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I got fired from my last job for arranging the vegetables into s**... position
Apparently that's "misconduct" for a special needs teacher.
I went for an audition at a talent agency today.
They asked "so what's your special talent?"
I said "I do bird impressions!"
They said "sorry, that's not original we have had loads of them!"
I said "fair enough!!"...
and flew out the window.
USPS releases a stamp with Trump's picture
The US Postal Services releases a stamp with a picture of President Trump. But the new stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation.
After weeks of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings:
The stamp is in perfect order. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive. The fact is, people are spitting on the wrong side.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So... the girl I lost my virginity to was r**....
I wanted my first time to be special.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sat down in a restaurant to eat dinner last night, and the waiter asked if I'd like to hear today's special.
I said yeah
He said, today is special.
I said, I can appreciate a good dad joke, but can you tell me about the menu please.
The waiter slams his notebook down on the table, and says, sir the men I please is my own private business.
**EDIT**
Thank you for the awards!!
Doctor, please help, my friend broke his leg.
Sorry, but I'm a vet, I specialize in horses.
Come on, please, it can't be that big of a difference?
Ok fine, just let me get my rifle from the car.
A black man walks into a bar...
A black man walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder.
"That is really special," said the bartender. "Where did you get it?"
"Africa," replied the parrot.
A man goes up to the leader of a circus
A man goes up to the circus, and says to the leader of the circus "I can do great bird impressions." The leader of the circus says "That's nothing special, lots of people can do great bird impressions, so get out of here"
The man says "ok" and flies away.
Koi fish are incredibly intelligent, and naturally form groups of four fish, with each having a specialized role.
The group is always led by a leader fish , called koi A. The other three fish will follow it everywhere.
Koi B is in charge of hunting for the group, and will report back to them with the location of food.
Koi C is usually a large, aggressive female. She protects the group from threats, and asserts dominance over other groups of koi.
And if the fish are attacked, the other three swim away, and the predator always goes for the D koi.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I had s**... with a r**... girl last night
i wanted my first time to be special
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Special h**...
Getting a h**... from a chick is like watching the special Olympics...
You keep cheering them on but deep down inside you know you can do better...
