Specialist Jokes
64 specialist jokes and hilarious specialist puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about specialist that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Find out what happens when doctors, child life specialists, eye specialists, IT specialists and nasal specialists take unprofessional jokes a bit too far in this article! Read on to inspect the full list of specialist jokes for a good laugh.
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Funniest Specialist Short Jokes
Short specialist jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The specialist humour may include short specialized jokes also.
- I asked a road-kill removal specialist if he would donate to my charity. He said he might be able to scrape together a few bucks.
- Why did the cancer specialist keep getting phone calls in the middle of the night? He was an on-call-ogist
- So I asked a bomb defusion specialist about the stresses of his job... ...he said there aren't any because either he's right or it's suddenly not his problem.
- What's the difference between young and experienced specialists? Young specialist doesn't know how to work, and the experienced knows how not to work.
- The machine we use to weigh heavy machinery broke today and we had to call in specialists from all over the world to fix it It was a large scale operation
- "Honey I'm home!', says a girl to her boyfriend. "Where have you been?"
"I went to the beauty specialist!"
"Wasn't she there?" - I hired a specialist aviation lawyer to deal with a dispute I had with an airport baggage handler. He lost my case.
- How many IT specialists does it take to change a lightbulb? SUPPORT TICKET CLOSED: Lightbulb already installed.
- Did you hear about the new soap opera that only has specialists? It's called "Specific Hospital"
- How much do you pay a circumcision specialist? However much you want... they work on tips.
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Specialist One Liners
Which specialist one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with specialist? I can suggest the ones about specialty and consultant.
- What do you call a Russian IT specialist? Mr. Switchitonanov
- Why can't you trust acupuncture specialists? They'll always stab you in the back.
- Got terrible back ache so I'm seeing my Egyptian specialist later. He's a cairopractor.
- Most lists are general and ordinary But there are a couple specialists.
- I should become a bomb specialist... It's a booming industry.
Heh. - why was the Afghani dude searching for a child specialist? His wife was ill.
- Why is a computer security specialist's favorite breakfast food? Salted hash.
- The price of balloons have been plummeting... Specialists say it's due to inflation.
- What is the road to madness called by medical specialists? A psycho path.
- Where does a cow go when he is so upset he doesn't feel like talking? A moo'd specialist.
- What do you call a teeth specialist who writes books? An author-dontist
Wahey! - What do you need when you have ED? A specialist
- What's the most threatened career in Trudeau's Canada? Pain specialists
- What do you call a smelly IT person? A com-P-U-ter specialist.
- Become a pro sports specialists
It Specialist Jokes
Here is a list of funny it specialist jokes and even better it specialist puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Eyes Specialist Doctor: Hello, did you come to see me with an eye problem?
Patient: Wow, yes, how can you tell?
Doctor: Because you came in through the window instead of the door. - Life vests no longer allowed on flights. Security specialists found out that they can blow up.
- So a network specialist comes up to me and says "do you wanna here a joke?" There was a Linux error
- Business lessons: Ending your contract with a specialist logistics company in favour of going with the lowest bidder is... One of the Bidvest mistakes you can make.
- Did you hear about the dyslexic Soldier? He used specialist Tic-Tacs to infiltrate the enemy base.
- Marvel at this joke. What do you call an Asgardian instrument specialist with an attitude problem?
A Thor Luthier. - America has deployed a crack team of specialists over to Nigeria to try and find the missing school girls. Britain had sent Stuart Hall, rolf harris and Max Clifford.
- Did you hear about the British chap who was just as adept with social niceties as with troubleshooting network systems and software? He was an 'igh tea specialist.
- What does a Machine Learning specialist and a Fashion Designer have in common? They both specialize in curve-fitting
- What do an interrogation specialist and a drug cartel have in common? They're both good at making people crack!
Doctor Specialist Jokes
Here is a list of funny doctor specialist jokes and even better doctor specialist puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- He got a referral from his doctor to a specialist Him: I was told you can help me with my anhidrosis
Doctor: That would be no sweat
Eye Specialist Jokes
Here is a list of funny eye specialist jokes and even better eye specialist puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- [DIRTY] Eye exam Eye specialist: "Sir, you need to stop m**...."
Patient: " Oh my God, is it ruining my eyesight?"
Eye specialist: "No. It's disturbing the other patients."
Cheerful Fun Specialist Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about specialist you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean expert jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make specialist pranks.
A old Jewish man goes to the doctors...
He says "Doctor I've got a huge problem."
The doctor says "What is it?"
He says "I keep getting these silent, smelly, gassy emissions I was with my wife and the Grossmans yesterday and it happened about 100 times during dinner and created a nauseous gas but it was silent so no one new who it was and then again on the bus this morning and even in your office now I must have had 20 of them, Do you have anyway to fix this problem doc?"
The doctor looks up and says "Well first off I'm going to send you to specialist."
The man interrupts him "What kind of specialist doc?"
"A hearing specialist!"
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.
When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was Well, I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step .
A nutritionist is giving a speech at a conference on eating healthy
Red meat is terrible for your metabolism, soda rips apart your gastric wall. Fast food is almost all fat and sugar but there's one food that is the worst of all. Almost all of us eat it sooner or later and the negative effects can last for years after a single consumption. Does anyone know what this is?
After a moment of silence an elderly specialist sitting in one of the front rows gets up and says "wedding cake"
Did you hear Buffalo Bill reformed and is now a pick up artist and skin care specialist?
He puts the lotion in the basket and then he gets the h**... again
Went to an eye specialist because I couldn't read fluently
The doctor told me "Son, I have bad news for you and for what I see, you will have to deal with this condition since we don't have a cure for it" and proceded to hand me a paper with my results. I was extremely happy with it!
How can it be bad news having daylisex for life?
An obese man wants to lose a few pounds, goes to see a specialist...
An Obese man wants to lose a few pounds, goes to see a specialist...
He's in the lobby for an hour before the doc calls him in.
Doc: I apologize for your wait.
Man: Don't, *I'm* the one that can't stop eating.
An old woman walks into a dentist's office, takes off all her clothes, and spreads her legs...
The dentist, flabbergasted, tells the lady that he thinks she's at the wrong type of specialist.
The old lady replies, "Last week you put in my husband's new teeth. Now you have to take them out."
Who's the only soldier who doesn't have to give a salute to a 4-star general as he passes, and can give an order to that general and be absolutely certain that it will be carried out immediately?
A bomb tech specialist at a dead run.
An old man went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked "Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?"
Yes of course, said the doctor, why not!
"Oh How nice it would be, I have been illiterate for so long" replied the old man with joy.
A man and his wife are having troubles in the bed room.
He can't get the engine started and when he does she doesn't want to drive it home. One day the call and schedule a meeting with a specialist. They spare no expense and get the best guy money can buy. On the day of their appointment the husband and wife each get pulled into meetings right before they are supposed to leave. They call each other and the husband says "we should call and tell them about how we won't make it" and the wife says.
"Why bother, he already knows we're not coming".
A cardiac specialist died and at his f**... the coffin was placed in front of a huge mock up of a heart made up of flowers. When the pastor finished with the sermon and eulogy, and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside and the heart closed.
Just then one of the mourners burst into laughter.
The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?"
"I was thinking about my own f**..." the man replied.
"What's so funny about that?"
"I'm a gynecologist."
My tattoo removal specialist, Dr Pablo, confessed to me recently that he had committed dozens of crimes yet has never been caught.
"How on earth are you a free man?" I asked him.
"Nobody expects the Spanish ink physician" he said.
Dr: "Mr Smith, your wife is comfortable."
Husband: "I thought she was in a coma and critical condition."
Dr: "She is, the nurses are using her as a beanbag."
Four doctors are sitting in a boat in the reeds, duck hunting.
The family practitioner spots a flock of fowl flying overhead, turns to the specialist and says: "I think those are ducks. I need a second opinion."
The specialist says: "I can schedule you in for a consult in two months."
The surgeon picks up his shotgun. BLAM-BLAM-BLAM!!! Three of the birds fall down into the water. He turns to the pathologist and says: "Run a test on them, will you, and see if they're ducks."
A man goes to a specialist
He's been to every doctor in his area, and none of them can figure out what's wrong with him. So eventually he goes to the preeminent specialist for what's bothering him to try to get a diagnosis. After several weeks of tests the doctor calls the man into his office and has him sit down.
"I have good news and bad new for you."
The man, happy to finally have *something* says, "Tell me the good news first."
The doctor says, "We're going to name it after you."