The Best 39 Specialist Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Specialist jokes. There are some specialist expert jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these specialist dietician puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Specialist Jokes and Puns
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.
When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was Well, I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step .
I should become a bomb specialist...
It's a booming industry.
Heh.
What do you call a teeth specialist who writes books?
An author-dontist
Wahey!
I asked a road-kill removal specialist if he would donate to my charity.
He said he might be able to scrape together a few bucks.
Where does a cow go when he is so upset he doesn't feel like talking?
A moo'd specialist.
Marvel at this joke.
What do you call an Asgardian instrument specialist with an attitude problem?
A Thor Luthier.
[DIRTY] Eye exam
Eye specialist: "Sir, you need to stop masturbating."
Patient: " Oh my God, is it ruining my eyesight?"
Eye specialist: "No. It's disturbing the other patients."
![Specialist joke, [DIRTY] Eye exam](/images/jokes/specialist-jokes-why-cant-you-trust-acupuncture-specialistsn-n-they.jpg "Specialist joke, [DIRTY] Eye exam")
Guy calls to HR:
- Hi. I'd like to discuss IT security specialist position at your company.
- Ok. Send your CV, please.
- You already have it at your desktop.
So a network specialist comes up to me and says "do you wanna here a joke?"
There was a Linux error
why was the Afghani dude searching for a child specialist?
His wife was ill.
A SEO specialist walks into a bar...
Pub, tavern, hostelry, Inn, coach house, restaurant, watering hole, speakeasy...
You can explore specialist inspect reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean specialist rigorous dad jokes. There are also specialist puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Eyes Specialist
Doctor: Hello, did you come to see me with an eye problem?
Patient: Wow, yes, how can you tell?
Doctor: Because you came in through the window instead of the door.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Soldier?
He used specialist Tic-Tacs to infiltrate the enemy base.
What do you call it when a specialist on reptiles accidentally lets loose a venomous snake?
A herp derp.
"Honey I'm home!', says a girl to her boyfriend.
"Where have you been?"
"I went to the beauty specialist!"
"Wasn't she there?"
Did you hear the one about the young bone specialist?
He just opened his office and only needed a good break to get started.
What do an interrogation specialist and a drug cartel have in common?
They're both good at making people crack!
Business lessons: Ending your contract with a specialist logistics company in favour of going with the lowest bidder is...
One of the Bidvest mistakes you can make.
Why did the man fail to apply to become a circumcision specialist?
He missed the cut off date
Did you hear Buffalo Bill reformed and is now a pick up artist and skin care specialist?
He puts the lotion in the basket and then he gets the hoes again
He got a referral from his doctor to a specialist
Him: I was told you can help me with my anhidrosis
Doctor: That would be no sweat
What do you call a Russian IT specialist?
Mr. Switchitonanov
Went to an eye specialist because I couldn't read fluently
The doctor told me "Son, I have bad news for you and for what I see, you will have to deal with this condition since we don't have a cure for it" and proceded to hand me a paper with my results. I was extremely happy with it!
How can it be bad news having daylisex for life?
An obese man wants to lose a few pounds, goes to see a specialist...
An Obese man wants to lose a few pounds, goes to see a specialist...
He's in the lobby for an hour before the doc calls him in.
Doc: I apologize for your wait.
Man: Don't, *I'm* the one that can't stop eating.
What does a Machine Learning specialist and a Fashion Designer have in common?
They both specialize in curve-fitting
So I asked a bomb defusion specialist about the stresses of his job...
...he said there aren't any because either he's right or it's suddenly not his problem.
An old woman walks into a dentist's office, takes off all her clothes, and spreads her legs...
The dentist, flabbergasted, tells the lady that he thinks she's at the wrong type of specialist.
The old lady replies, "Last week you put in my husband's new teeth. Now you have to take them out."
Did you hear about the British chap who was just as adept with social niceties as with troubleshooting network systems and software?
He was an 'igh tea specialist.
How many IT specialists does it take to change a lightbulb?
SUPPORT TICKET CLOSED: Lightbulb already installed.
Why did the cancer specialist keep getting phone calls in the middle of the night?
He was an on-call-ogist
Who's the only soldier who doesn't have to give a salute to a 4-star general as he passes, and can give an order to that general and be absolutely certain that it will be carried out immediately?
A bomb tech specialist at a dead run.
An old man went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked "Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?"
Yes of course, said the doctor, why not!
"Oh How nice it would be, I have been illiterate for so long" replied the old man with joy.
What's the difference between young and experienced specialists?
Young specialist doesn't know how to work, and the experienced knows how not to work.
A man and his wife are having troubles in the bed room.
He can't get the engine started and when he does she doesn't want to drive it home. One day the call and schedule a meeting with a specialist. They spare no expense and get the best guy money can buy. On the day of their appointment the husband and wife each get pulled into meetings right before they are supposed to leave. They call each other and the husband says "we should call and tell them about how we won't make it" and the wife says.
"Why bother, he already knows we're not coming".
A cardiac specialist died and at his funeral the coffin was placed in front of a huge mock up of a heart made up of flowers. When the pastor finished with the sermon and eulogy, and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside and the heart closed.
Just then one of the mourners burst into laughter.
The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?"
"I was thinking about my own funeral" the man replied.
"What's so funny about that?"
"I'm a gynecologist."
I hired a specialist aviation lawyer to deal with a dispute I had with an airport baggage handler.
He lost my case.
How much do you pay a circumcision specialist?
However much you want... they work on tips.
My tattoo removal specialist, Dr Pablo, confessed to me recently that he had committed dozens of crimes yet has never been caught.
"How on earth are you a free man?" I asked him.
"Nobody expects the Spanish ink physician" he said.
Newborn baby's first meal
My newborn son is having trouble with breast feeding. For some reason we can't get him to latch on. The lactation specialist, midwife, nurses and doctors have tried everything to help. We're frustrated the baby is hungry so I'm going to give up and let my wife try.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the specialist treatment jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working specialist technician piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.