The Best 35 Special Needs Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Special Needs jokes. There are some special needs specifically jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these special needs certificate puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Special Needs Jokes and Puns

I got fired from my last job for arranging the vegetables into sexual position

Apparently that's "misconduct" for a special needs teacher.

I got fired today for arranging the vegetables in a sexually suggestive way

Apparently that's "unacceptable behavior for a special needs teacher".

I got chlamydia from a person with special needs

She gave me the slow clap

Preacher

A preacher said, "Anyone with a special request who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar ."
With that, Leroy got in line, and when it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?"
Leroy replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing." The preacher put one finger of one hand in Leroy's ear, placed his other hand on top of Leroy's head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed. He prayed a "blue streak" for Leroy, and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.

After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Leroy, how is your hearing now?"

Leroy answered, "I don't know. It ain't 'til next week.

A balding white haired man walks into a jewelry store with a beautiful much younger gal at his side...

He
told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.

The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought
another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000the jeweler said.
The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated,
'By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now
and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds; I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'

On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said
'Sir...There's no money in that account.

''I know,' said the old man...'But let me tell you about my weekend.'


The Special

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "What's the special tonight?" he asks the bartender. "It's our blue cheese bacon burger," the bartender replies. "Do you want to try one?" "Nah. I hate blue cheese," the guy replies. "I mean it's literally just cheese full of bacteria." "Hey," the bartender says, clearly offended. "You need to stop discriminating against other cultures."

In my interview for the binman job, I asked if you needed any special training...

The interviewer said "nah you just sort of pick it up as you go along".

I once volunteered to help out at a special needs school

I played games with them like football, tennis, basketball etc.
It makes you feel so good inside...

Because you always win.

So, the God decides he needs a vacation...

He goes to meet his travel agent:
"We have a special on Andromeda, Cthulu resort." - Nah it's way too hot...
"How'bout skiing in Pillars Of Creation?" - Maybe something cheaper, this time?
"Well, You may try the Earth, Solar System new Spa, great price".
- ... Been there like 2000 years ago, mate, made one chick pregnant.
They still keep talking about this...

My friend had this really fancy business meeting...

He had this special outfit prepared, but he needed it to be properly fitted, to look nice. I offered to do it but he said he could do it himself

"Fine," I said...

"Suit yourself"

Special needs bus crashes into local pot shop and catches fire.

Baked potatoes all over the place.

You can explore special needs exclusive reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean special needs personalized dad jokes. There are also special needs puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Need anything special to catch a Russian butterfly?

Nyet

If a special needs kid is late for class...

Is it ok to call him tardy?

Teenage twin boys in a "special needs" class were suspended for online gambling while at school...

Turns out they have DoubleDown syndrome.

Sanctions aren't Sanctions

Putin warned that the sanctions imposed by the West are akin to an act of war .

Someone needs to let him know that they're not sanctions.

They're Special Financial Operations



*not my joke but haven't seen it posted here*

My wife told me I need to start making money.

Turns out you need a special type of paper.

A dad takes his special needs son to soccer tryouts.

After his son fails at shooting, passing and set pieces, the coach approaches the father and says, "are you sure your son is cut out for this?"

The father replies, "you haven't seen his best attribute yet."

"What's that?"

"Dribbling."

Could someone help me out? I live in Canada and I need to travel to my honey farm tomorrow, but I don't have a car.

I don't need anything special, just something to get me from eh to bee.

What do you call a special needs sheep that got turned into a blanket?

A down comforter.


I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.

I'll call it Downtown

Why do the special needs kids never get in trouble for being late to class?

They're expected to be a little tardy...

Two NSA agents walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "Hello gentlemen, first time here?"

The agents reply, "Yes it is."

The bartender says, "Great! Would you like to hear our specials?"

The agents go, "No need, we heard them earlier."

What do you call a Korean with special needs?

Special K

I hired a special needs guy to clean my driveway, but he must have misunderstood...

He's re-tarred it.

What do you call a special needs pirate?

An Arrtard!^I^am^going^to^hell

A man needed a horse, so he went to a temple and got one.

Before he left, the priest told him that it was a special horse. In order to make the horse go, you say, "Thank God," and for it to stop you say, "Amen." So the man left, and a few minutes later he dozed off on his horse. Hours later, he woke up and his horse was racing him towards the edge of a cliff. Just in time, he shouted "Amen!" and the horse stopped a few inches from the edge. "Whew," said the man, "thank God!"

In these trying times, we all need to put our differences aside and make a special prayer for President Donald Trump. I suggest Psalm 109:8 ...

...Β "Let his days be few; and let another take his office."

I dont like music made by special needs people...

I've never really been one for slow jams.

Older people are easier to make laugh. Young people are like Google passwords. . .

It needs to be have a special character, a capital letter , a number and you can't use the same as last time.

What do you call a special needs person who is put up for adoption?

A hand-me-down.

Watched a YouTube clip staring a special needs comedian

I wanted to post below about how inspiring it was but it said, "comments are disabled" [True story]

Man is selling a chicken for $10,000

Everyone asks him, what's so special about the chicken that it costs $10,000? Nothing, he replies. I just need the money.

(Stolen from a Belorussian friend)

What do you call a group of special needs kids in a car trash compactor??

Mashed potatos.

what do you call a band made of special needs kid

System of the downs

What do you call Dracula's special needs brother?

Count Down

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the special needs playdoh jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working special needs regular piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes