Spec Jokes
100 spec jokes and hilarious spec puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about spec that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article provides a collection of jokes specifically tailored for those with a background in Mass Spectrometry. It includes jokes about Spec Savers, requirements, Spyder and TOT. Get ready to laugh at these humorous jokes!
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Funniest Spec Short Jokes
Short spec jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The spec humour may include short scope jokes also.
- What do you call an apple tablet with the highest specs available in the market? A MaxiPad
- How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? I'm gonna need some specs or an outline of the scope, before I can get you an estimate.
- A small part of me hopes the Xbox One X fails Not because i want to see it fail, I just kinda want to see Microsoft be able to add one more flop to its specs
- The military recently put their specially-trained Spec Ops primate in cooking lessons. The Army loves guorillar tactics.
- I'm an optometrist who can't see where he's going in life. I think I'm having a specs-istential crisis.
- E3 2017 Xbox: We have a new console with tons of good specs, VR support, and a badass name.
Sony: We have Kojima, God of War, c**... Bandicoot, and Spider-Man
Nintendo: We have plumbers and bunnies.
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Spec One Liners
Which spec one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with spec? I can suggest the ones about spot and vision.
- What do you call a potato with glasses? A spec-tater
- If you are a woman and you like men that wear glasses... I am full of specs appeal.
- Finally found those German torque specs It calls for everything to be Guten Tite
- Potato's in glasses are never the centre of attention. They're just spec taters
- What do you call an optometrist in-training A spec-u-later
- What do you call a group of potatoes at a football game? Spec-taters
- What do you call a potato that's also a sports fan? A spec-tator!
- What are the specs on your computer? Oh those? They're just my reading glasses.
- Wanna hear a dirty joke? Every time you eat snow you're eating a little spec of dirt.
- What kind of eyeglasses can get you pregnant? . . . Unsafe specs.
Uproarious Spec Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about spec you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean proposal jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make spec pranks.
This is a very special parrot...
A man walks into the pet shop and sees a parrot with on each leg 1 string. "Where are these strings for?" Asks the man to the seller. He answers: "This is a very special parrot. If you pull the right string, then he says" good morning ". Pull the left string and he says 'good night'." "Really?" Says the man. "And what happens if I pull both strings at once?" Responds the parrot: "Then I fall, Idiot!"
This one is special to me. My grandfather was a jokester all his life. About a month after he died, I had a lucid dream where I was talking to him, and imagined him telling me one last joke:
Me: "Pop pop, what is the afterlife like?"
Him: "It's hot."
If a special ed kid is late to class
Is it morally wrong to call him tardy?
What was special about Three-Eyed Suzie?
She had no legs.
Special h**...
Getting a h**... from a chick is like watching the special Olympics...
You keep cheering them on but deep down inside you know you can do better...
What's a specimen?
An Italian astronaut :-D
Did you know there's a species of antelope that can jump higher than a two story house?
This is mostly because the antelope has powerful hind leg muscles, and houses can't jump.
I believe, if you're in Special Ed, and you're late to class...
...it's politically incorrect to say you're tardy.
What was so special about Bounty's new line of paper towels?
nothing they were tearable.
There should be a specific type of doctor for being on call.
They'd be called cancer-ogists
^because^cancer^doctors^are^oncologists
What is so special about an abortion?
It brings out your inner child.
There must be a special discount store for plumbers...
There pants are always 50% off
"Special today! Jokes, half off!"
"I'll take one." "Why did the chicken cross the road?" "I don't know, why?" "Sorry, that's all you get."
A BLONDE'S SPECIAL PICTURE
Q: Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room?
A: So she could use it as a mirror.
I went to specsavers the other day..
...guess who I bumped into?
Everyone!
Why are there different species of hyena?
Isn't every hyena we've discovered a spotted hyena?
What is today's special at Google's employee cafeteria?
Alphabet Soup.
What is the speciality of Alan Turing?
He was homogeneous
What is so special about your favourite bedside table?
It's the one nightstand you'll never forget.
What species of mushroom is known for being an instigator?
The shiitalkie mushroom.
Do special ed teachers mark late students as tardy?
i have no shame.
The Special Olympics is like Nascar.
You're not watching it for the race...
A special joke for Mothers Day
What's the difference between three d**... and a joke? Your mum cant take a joke.
There's a special running course around the White House.
Every president does this before they leave office, and records their times in a special book dating back to the early 19th century. Obama recently completed it, knowing he had to get it done before January. He did 9:25 and was quite pleased with it. He wondered if he had set the record, but then he found out that Bush did 9:11.
They've got a special on down Tesco.
He's working the trolleys.
Have you seen the special message written at the bottom of a c**... when you roll it all the way out?
Me neither..
Did you know there is a species of deer that can jump higher than the average house?
This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact the average house cannot jump.
What's a specimen?
A Spanish astronaut
"With our special weight loss supplements and a healthy diet, you can lose over 30 pounds a month!"
Fat chance...
Right now there's speculations as to whether Chris Christie will be part of the cabinet....
.... or stealing snacks from it.
What species are the best rappers?
Dragons, because they're always spittin' fire.
Today's special menu
The waiter asked, "Would you like to hear today's special?"
"Yes please," I smiled.
"Today is special," he replied, then walked off.
I have a special, affectionate term I use to refer to my mother. I'll tell you guys, but it's a secret...
So mum's the word.
You think you're special because you suddenly don't identify as male or female?
The Siberian Orchestra has identified as 'trans' for over 20 years.
Special skills
Interviewer: Have you got any special skills?
Me: I will never die!
Interviewer: How is that possible?!
Me: Dreams never come true
What do Special Olympics golfers always ask each other?
"What's your handicap?"
what is a pastor's specialty?
the past.
What do the Special Olympics and a h**... have in common?
You appreciate the effort but you could do it better.
Special olympics and a h**... is very similar.
You really appreciate the effort, but you know you could do better.
What species is Mike Pence?
No-h**... sapiens.
There are three species of hyena in the wild
But every time one is seen they become a spotted hyena
I've always had a specific love for bananas...
...they have appeal
What species of ant is most hesitant?
The reluct ant.
Which species of ants prefer to eat beavers ?
Lesbi-ants
Special shop sale:
electrons: 10 cents
protons: 10 cents
neutrons: free of charge
If a special ed kid is late for school
Is it politically incorrect to give them a "Tardy" slip?
Did you know? There is a species of frog in Alaska
There is a species of frog in Alaska that freezes during the winter and while frozen, the frog stops breathing, its heart stops beating, its palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, there's v**... on its sweater already, mom's spaghetti.
If a Special-Ed student is late more than once...
Does that make him re-tardy?
You are as special as a snowflake...
... just a microscopic and transient blip, indistinguishable in a colorless, homogenous mass that covers the earth.
What special ingredient do cannibals put in their burritos?
People de gallo
What is a special delivery?
The birth of an autistic child.
What do you do with some new species you just discovered?
Ya PHYLUM.
I specifically asked for no mayo on my sandwich.
What the Hellman
You might have to be more specific when using the word "cousin".
It's just such a relative term.
Why do the special needs kids never get in trouble for being late to class?
They're expected to be a little tardy...
Does anyone know what's so special about Vantablack?
I think it's really lackluster.
What's special about cats that can stand on two feet?
Nothing,They are meerkats.
Special needs bus crashes into local p**... shop and catches fire.
Baked potatoes all over the place.
What's special about a bulimic's birthday party?
Cake jumps out her mouth
IN SPECIAL EDUCATION
They put me in Special Ed because they thought I was slow, but I stayed in Special Ed for the ladies.
Did you know that there's a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house?
This is due the antelopes unnaturally strong hind legs, and he fact that the average house can't jump
A particular species of frog, found in South American rainforests, has been observed to leap higher than a 1 story house.
This is due to the extremely powerful hind legs of the frog, and the fact that houses cannot leap.
A special group of polar bears that live in the Arctic and Antarctic have been seen with dual personalities and s**... attraction to both sexes..
I guess you could say they're Bi-polar bipolar bi polar bears.
I have a special ability that lets me see both the past and future at the same time.
Some say it's a gift, but I think of it as the present.
2 Guys Were Sitting On The Train
When o**... pulls out his phone and shows a picture of his girlfriend and says to the other guy hey man check out my gf, isn't she beautiful?
The second man, somewhat confused at why this guy is showing him a photo of his girlfriend replies Wow if you think she's beautiful you should see my girlfriend!
The first guy, slightly irritated responds why is she a stunner?
No he reply's she works at spec savers!
Some species of frog can jump higher than a 3-story office building.
It's because of their immensely powerful hind legs, and the fact that office buildings cannot jump.
Why do special Ed classes always start late
Because everyone is a little tardy.
If a special needs kid is late for class...
Is it ok to call him tardy?
As a spectator at the last Summer Olympics, I saw a guy walking around carrying a 10 foot long stick...
"Are you a pole vaulter?" I asked.
"No," he responded. "I'm a German. But how did you know my name is Walter?"
I have a special trick for getting the result I want in a coin flip
It's not perfect, but it works about 50% of the time.
There's a special type of people who are always in a hurry.
The Rushians.
A special day in February
I asked my 10 year old niece what special day is coming up in February.
"President's Day."
"What does President's Day mean?" I expected her to tell me something about Obama or Bush or Clinton.
Instead, she says, "President's Day is when the President steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow, we get another year of b**...."
Why are some species of cat always endangered?
Because cheetahs never prosper
What did the special education teacher say to one of their students that was late?
You're tardy!
Need anything special to catch a Russian butterfly?
Nyet
How many IT specialists does it take to change a lightbulb?
SUPPORT TICKET CLOSED: Lightbulb already installed.
How many species of wild cat are there?
I don't have an exact number, but there's an ocelot of them.
The special ed students made a metal band.
It's called Syndrome of a Down.
There's a special place in h**... for Satanists.
Good for them.
The least specific name for a Friends episode:
The one where Rachel's n**... were e**...
