Spec Jokes
98 spec jokes and hilarious spec puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about spec that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article provides a collection of jokes specifically tailored for those with a background in Mass Spectrometry. It includes jokes about Spec Savers, requirements, Spyder and TOT. Get ready to laugh at these humorous jokes!
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Funniest Spec Short Jokes
Short spec jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The spec humour may include short scope jokes also.
- What do you call an apple tablet with the highest specs available in the market? A MaxiPad
- How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? I'm gonna need some specs or an outline of the scope, before I can get you an estimate.
- A small part of me hopes the Xbox One X fails Not because i want to see it fail, I just kinda want to see Microsoft be able to add one more flop to its specs
- The military recently put their specially-trained Spec Ops primate in cooking lessons. The Army loves guorillar tactics.
- I'm an optometrist who can't see where he's going in life. I think I'm having a specs-istential crisis.
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Spec One Liners
Which spec one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with spec? I can suggest the ones about spot and vision.
- If you are a woman and you like men that wear glasses... I am full of specs appeal.
- Finally found those German torque specs It calls for everything to be Guten Tite
- Potato's in glasses are never the centre of attention. They're just spec taters
- What do you call an optometrist in-training A spec-u-later
- What do you call a group of potatoes at a football game? Spec-taters
- What are the specs on your computer? Oh those? They're just my reading glasses.
- Wanna hear a dirty joke? Every time you eat snow you're eating a little spec of dirt.
- What kind of eyeglasses can get you pregnant? . . . Unsafe specs.
Uproarious Spec Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about spec you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean proposal jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make spec pranks.
This is a very special parrot...
A man walks into the pet shop and sees a parrot with on each leg 1 string. "Where are these strings for?" Asks the man to the seller. He answers: "This is a very special parrot. If you pull the right string, then he says" good morning ". Pull the left string and he says 'good night'." "Really?" Says the man. "And what happens if I pull both strings at once?" Responds the parrot: "Then I fall, Idiot!"
This one is special to me. My grandfather was a jokester all his life. About a month after he died, I had a lucid dream where I was talking to him, and imagined him telling me one last joke:
Me: "Pop pop, what is the afterlife like?"
Him: "It's hot."
If a special ed kid is late to class
Is it morally wrong to call him tardy?
What was special about Three-Eyed Suzie?
She had no legs.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Special h**...
Getting a h**... from a chick is like watching the special Olympics...
You keep cheering them on but deep down inside you know you can do better...
What's a specimen?
An Italian astronaut :-D
I believe, if you're in Special Ed, and you're late to class...
...it's politically incorrect to say you're tardy.
What was so special about Bounty's new line of paper towels?
nothing they were tearable.
There should be a specific type of doctor for being on call.
They'd be called cancer-ogists
^because^cancer^doctors^are^oncologists
What is so special about an abortion?
It brings out your inner child.
There must be a special discount store for plumbers...
There pants are always 50% off
Every once in a while someone really special walks into your life.
"Special today! Jokes, half off!"
"I'll take one." "Why did the chicken cross the road?" "I don't know, why?" "Sorry, that's all you get."
I'm very specific about how my food is prepared.
For instance, I was in a restaurant in Paris recently and I asked the waiter,
"Excuse me, waiter, what's the French for 'on'?"
Couldn't get an answer out of him.
A BLONDE'S SPECIAL PICTURE
Q: Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room?
A: So she could use it as a mirror.
On this special day Special Cake
At the Special Olympics they don't use starter pistols...
They use Spud Guns.
Why are there different species of hyena?
Isn't every hyena we've discovered a spotted hyena?
What is today's special at Google's employee cafeteria?
Alphabet Soup.
What is the speciality of Alan Turing?
He was homogeneous
My special-ed girlfriend may be pregnant...
Her period's tardy.
What is so special about your favourite bedside table?
It's the one nightstand you'll never forget.
What species of mushroom is known for being an instigator?
The shiitalkie mushroom.
Do special ed teachers mark late students as tardy?
i have no shame.
Did you know there is a specialty gift store for aunts?
It's a very niece market.
The Special Olympics is like Nascar.
You're not watching it for the race...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A special joke for Mothers Day
What's the difference between three d**... and a joke? Your mum cant take a joke.
They've got a special on down Tesco.
He's working the trolleys.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Have you seen the special message written at the bottom of a c**... when you roll it all the way out?
Me neither..
I've got a special cravat for mounaineering. Keeps me focused.
Tie of the Eiger.
I'm special.
My school told me so.
"With our special weight loss supplements and a healthy diet, you can lose over 30 pounds a month!"
Fat chance...
Right now there's speculations as to whether Chris Christie will be part of the cabinet....
.... or stealing snacks from it.
What did the Special Needs Rowing Team decide to call themselves?
Oartism
What species are the best rappers?
Dragons, because they're always spittin' fire.
I have a special, affectionate term I use to refer to my mother. I'll tell you guys, but it's a secret...
So mum's the word.
You think you're special because you suddenly don't identify as male or female?
The Siberian Orchestra has identified as 'trans' for over 20 years.
Special skills
Interviewer: Have you got any special skills?
Me: I will never die!
Interviewer: How is that possible?!
Me: Dreams never come true
What do Special Olympics golfers always ask each other?
"What's your handicap?"
what is a pastor's specialty?
the past.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do the Special Olympics and a h**... have in common?
You appreciate the effort but you could do it better.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What species is Mike Pence?
No-h**... sapiens.
There are three species of hyena in the wild
But every time one is seen they become a spotted hyena
I've always had a specific love for bananas...
...they have appeal
What species of ant is most hesitant?
The reluct ant.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What species of ant works in all 3 branches of the government?
The Ignorant.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Which species of ants prefer to eat beavers ?
Lesbi-ants
What was special about the pizza place owned by a mathematician?
All pies are squared
Special shop sale:
electrons: 10 cents
protons: 10 cents
neutrons: free of charge
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you know? There is a species of frog in Alaska
There is a species of frog in Alaska that freezes during the winter and while frozen, the frog stops breathing, its heart stops beating, its palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, there's v**... on its sweater already, mom's spaghetti.
If a Special-Ed student is late more than once...
Does that make him re-tardy?
You are as special as a snowflake...
... just a microscopic and transient blip, indistinguishable in a colorless, homogenous mass that covers the earth.
What special ingredient do cannibals put in their burritos?
People de gallo
What is a special delivery?
The birth of an autistic child.
What do you do with some new species you just discovered?
Ya PHYLUM.
I specifically asked for no mayo on my sandwich.
What the Hellman
You might have to be more specific when using the word "cousin".
It's just such a relative term.
How would you say otherwise: Spectral Steam Train?
Phanthomas.
What species of fish is the most skilled in magic?
The marlin
Does anyone know what's so special about Vantablack?
I think it's really lackluster.
What's special about cats that can stand on two feet?
Nothing,They are meerkats.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Special needs bus crashes into local p**... shop and catches fire.
Baked potatoes all over the place.
Did you know that there's a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house?
This is due the antelopes unnaturally strong hind legs, and he fact that the average house can't jump
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A special group of polar bears that live in the Arctic and Antarctic have been seen with dual personalities and s**... attraction to both sexes..
I guess you could say they're Bi-polar bipolar bi polar bears.
I have a special ability that lets me see both the past and future at the same time.
Some say it's a gift, but I think of it as the present.
Some species of frog can jump higher than a 3-story office building.
It's because of their immensely powerful hind legs, and the fact that office buildings cannot jump.
Why do special Ed classes always start late
Because everyone is a little tardy.
I have a special trick for getting the result I want in a coin flip
It's not perfect, but it works about 50% of the time.
I have a special pair of pants for when I get cross faded.
They're high wasted.
There is no way Special Counsel Muller's report will be as simple as black and white.
It will be as complex as black and orange.
A specific High School was the location of multiple shootings.
Who can blame them though, every movie that has been shot there have been very successful.
You think you're special until you have to
pick a username
There's a special type of people who are always in a hurry.
The Rushians.
Why are some species of cat always endangered?
Because cheetahs never prosper
What did the special education teacher say to one of their students that was late?
You're tardy!
Need anything special to catch a Russian butterfly?
Nyet
How many IT specialists does it take to change a lightbulb?
SUPPORT TICKET CLOSED: Lightbulb already installed.
How many species of wild cat are there?
I don't have an exact number, but there's an ocelot of them.
The special ed students made a metal band.
It's called Syndrome of a Down.
